Fulfilling promise of divorce neither obligatory nor recommended

Question

I am a seeking divorce. My question is whether my husband must keep his verbal and written word to grant me divorce. My husband of almost 30 years has been Muslim his entire life. I am not and have never been Muslim. He has never shared his religion with me and is not pleased with my recent Islamic studies. Upon asking for divorce, he asked for 30 days to change and agreed in writing to grant me divorce if I still wanted it at the end of this time. I no longer love my husband and am very disappointed by all of the things that he encouraged me to do in marriage while he himself would not do them (i.e., drinking, gambling, and so on). Must he adhere to his agreement and grant me divorce?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad  is His slave and Messenger. 

First of all, if you are not yet Muslim, then we ask Allah to guide you to Islam, and if do you have become Muslim, then we congratulate you for the blessing of entering Islam, and we ask Allah to make Paradise your abode.

We recommend that you supplicate Allah to facilitate your affairs, to relieve you of your distress, and to rectify your husband, as Allah commanded us to supplicate Him and promised to answer our supplication; Allah says (what means): {And your Lord says, “Call upon Me; I will respond to you.” Indeed, those who disdain My worship will enter Hell [rendered] contemptible.} [Quran 40:60] Hopefully your husband becomes righteous and the problem would be totally solved. You should not despair in this regard, as Allah is according to what His slave thinks of Him.

You should advise your husband in a gentle manner, and you may seek the help of some of his relatives and friends whom you think he would listen to. Then if he takes heed, repents, and turns to Allah, then this is what is required; otherwise, it is better to separate from him, even in exchange for a compensation that you pay to him, but if he refuses to divorce you, then you may take the matter to an Islamic Center in your country.

On the other hand, fulfilling the promise of divorce is not obligatory, and not even recommended. Shaykh Ibn Taymiyyah  said, “The promise of a divorce does not make divorce effective, even if it is done in many wordings, and it is neither obligatory nor desirable to fulfill this promise.”

Allah knows best.

-islamweb.net