It’s one that I’m sure a lot of children are asking this time of year, especially as they get to the age where they begin fasting, as well.
Allah Commands It
When it comes down to it, the simplest reason that we fast is because Allah commanded us to do so in the Quran. In Surah Baqara, verse 185 He said:
Allah Commands It
When it comes down to it, the simplest reason that we fast is because Allah commanded us to do so in the Quran. In Surah Baqara, verse 185 He said:
“Ramadan is the [month] in which the Quran was sent down, as a guide to mankind, also clear [signs] for guidance and the differentiation [between right and wrong].” He also said, only two verses before, verse 183: “O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that you may learn piety and righteousness.”
Fasting is one of the five pillars of Islam. It is something that Allah has told us to do, and so we do it.
However, having children myself, I know that this is not an answer that will be satisfying to young minds. So there are two other options to explore.
Empathy for those Less Fortunate
This is a reason often cited during Ramadan: that during this time we deprive ourselves of food and water so that we may be grateful for those blessings. We are fortunate to be able to break our fast at the end of the day, but we are mindful that there are many around the world who are not so fortunate. There are many who are in more or less a perpetual state of fasting, due to famine, war, poverty, etc.
This reason provides an easy explanation to young children. But in my opinion, it is a fairly weak reason. Nowhere in the Quran or Hadith that I am aware of does it mention this as a reason for fasting. Yes, we may gain empathy for those less fortunate and this should increase our charitable giving during this time, but it is not really the reason.
A non-Muslim cannot understand what it is like to be Muslim by wearing a hijab for a few hours – and those of us fortunate enough to have sufficient food every day cannot understand what it is to be destitute just by fasting for daylight hours. Empathy is good, but providing this as a reason for fasting is rather shallow.
Taqwa
In a Hadith from Sahih Bukhari, the Prophet (saw) told us:
“Whoever fasts during Ramadan out of sincere faith and hoping to attain Allah’s rewards … all his past sins will be forgiven.”
This, to me, is much more the crux of “why” we fast. We fast with the intent of pleasing Allah and with the hope of having our sins forgiven. During the month of Ramadan, Shaytaan is chained up and cannot influence us. So what better time to dedicate ourselves to worship?
During the month of Ramadan, the goal is to attain taqwa and to draw our hearts nearer to Allah. When we fast with sincere intention, He forgives us for our sins.
My best advice is to explain to your child how important it is for Allah to be pleased with us and how pleased He is when we fast during Ramadan. Explain that even though fasting is hard, we get reward for struggling. It isn’t that Allah wants us to suffer – after all, going for a few hours without food or drink is not suffering, and if it would cause us harm to go without, He wants us to eat and drink – but that He is pleased to see the small sacrifices we are willing to make in hopes of making Him happy.
Insha’Allah this helps – children can really ask some tough questions!
A person’s lower self is open to all sorts of negative feelings.
Being angry, getting upset, sulking, getting offended, getting sad, getting jealous and being vindictive; all of our lower-selves are made to feel these emotions as a requisite of the test we’re being subjected to. The superiority of a faithful, God-fearing person who loves God intensely would be recognized by the willpower he shows against those feelings.
The prompting one is given to show a reaction in line with what one feels in his lower-self. If one is bored, he is taught to sulk. When he is angry, he is taught — if not with words but with a general demeanor — to shout and do uncontrolled movements. People are instilled with the idea that crying when feeling sad is normal.
When people watch those around them from their childhood, responding to those feelings in such a common language, they naturally adapt these reactions into their lives as well. And all through their lives they suffer the pain of these negative feelings.
God gave us all negative feelings, emotions and desires for us to be tested in our lower-selves. But at the same time, He also gave us a conscience to refrain from them:
(by) the self and what proportioned it and inspired it with depravity or piety. He who purifies it has succeeded, he who covers it up has failed.} (Quran 91:7-10)
God wants us to use our good conscience and show the most beautiful, most noble morality with which we will attain His love the most.
In one sense, life is sort of a constant struggle, one carried out by using one’s good conscience against the evils instilled by his lower-self. If our good conscience gains the upper hand in this struggle, we both feel the constant inner peace of pleasing God and strongly hope to attain the endless life in the heaven after death.
But if a person constantly turns a deaf ear to what his good conscience tells him and gets defeated by his lower-self, he might both suffer the Wrath of God in this world and might be rewarded with something he didn’t expect in the Hereafter.
Struggling with the lower-self is easy for those who believe, but some people still think that it would cause them pain, since they convince themselves that it is a very difficult struggle. Such people imagine that it is almost impossible to forgive someone when they fume at someone. They believe that apologizing would be insulting for them.
Taking revenge is like an irresistible instinctual desire for them. Yet hissing at someone, quarrelling, raising one’s voice, lovelessness, having spite against someone, lying, offending someone, being hostile towards another person are all personality traits that would distress a person deeply and would literally darken his soul. On the other hand, being resolute in the good morality God defined in the Quran is quite easy, joyous and restful.
In the Quran, God has told us how to give a struggle against and train our lower-selves. For instance, He teaches us how to behave when we feel angry. God describes Muslims as:
{Those who control their rage and pardon other people.} (Quran 3:134)
Consequently, controlling rage and approaching others with forgiveness is a beauty of good morality.
A Muslim would never accept being in such a state of weakness to be dragged into a fit of fury or to be weak enough to be defeated by that rage.
A person who is able to think that everything takes place under the control of God in times of anger would also know that God is testing him and that he will attain much merit in the Hereafter for the good behavior he will be showing.
Someone who is aware of the fact that he is actually watching the course of destiny unfold would instantly think that if he were given an opportunity and were allowed to rewind his life to relive it, the same thing would certainly be repeated exactly as it did in the first place and he would never forget that there is good in everything God has created within destiny. Such a person would most definitely display the most appropriate attitude according to the Quran.
In the Quran, God openly informs us that He doesn’t like a disputative spirit that constantly forces others to accept his opinions and constantly insults others while doing so. A moderate attitude that recognizes everyone’s right to speak up, and that calls to truth with kindness and love, is the one described in the Quran.
When one speaks with an attitude that avoids offending others, that constantly honors and highlights the other side’s rightful attributes, he would lay the grounds for swiftly settling disputes between two parties and avoid unnecessary discussions. Actually God draws attention to the necessity of taking mutual love, respect, compassion, forgiveness, unity and solidarity as basis in order to avoid separation and corruption among Muslims numerous times in the Quran.
It is in human’s nature to argue about everything. Getting angry, being sad, getting offended, getting upset and being dragged into materialistic ambition and competition are all feelings embedded in the lower-self. All these are negative traits everyone knows, recognizes and harbors in his lower-self but a wise, rational, strong willed Muslim would never let his lower-self lead him into these negative traits.
Such a person would be well aware of the fact that those negative instincts in his lower-self would be harmful for both himself and for those around him. He abides by the Qur’an and aims to be a servant of God who is worthy of His love and never lets himself be dragged into a weak frame of mind.
Instead of behaving as he has learned in his childhood, he thinks in line with the Qur’an and instantly decides what he should be doing in good conscience and behaves in the way that most pleases God.
A Muslim always focuses all his attention on keeping his soul strong and his lower-self under control. Consequently, he always acts wisely and uses his will power to behave in accordance with the Quran.
If you have a very important exam that you know passing it will change your life to the best, would you prepare for it beforehand?
Ramadan is an excellent training for our spirituality that we should prepare for it in advance. There is a scary hadith in which Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
There are people who fast and get nothing from their fast except hunger and thirst. (Ibn Majah)
Can you imagine when the 18 or 19 hours of fasting become fruitless like carrying water in a sieve?
Why?
Because you haven’t fixed yourself beforehand. You are still backbiting while fasting, you’re still getting angry, you still have a hard heart.
Fasting is more than abstaining from eating and drinking. If a person doesn’t have taqwa, if he can’t avoid committing sins, if his heart is not clean, it means that his fasting is missing many other parts of it.
This is why the companions of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) make themselves ready well in advance. They would be so aware that they need to spiritually prepare for Ramadan.
May Allah prevent us from being among those people who don’t get anything spiritual from their fasting.
If you haven’t started preparing for Ramadan yet, you still have the chance to do. It’s never too late.
Many of us think that Ramadan preparations is not a crucial thing because once Ramadan is here, we’d definitely get in the mood. However, this assumption is wrong in many ways.
If we intend to make the most of the holy month, we should get well prepared for it. We should prepare ourselves physically, mentally and psychologically.
This episode discusses how we can best prepare for Ramadan, what some of its benefits are and other things to consider for supervisors and neighbors as well as children. - aboutislam.net
So many of us neglect this aspect of our lives: working on maintaining the peace and light of our hearts.
We make sure we feed our body with food, we make sure we fill our car tanks with oil, we make sure we charge our computers and phones because they’ll die/stop working if they’re not constantly recharged….
However, we neglect to do the same for our hearts.
We neglect to recharge and feed our hearts and souls.
Because of this negligence, we may feel dry from the inside and we miss the moments of peace and light we once had when our hearts were connected with Allah Almighty and filled with His Light.
So what can we do about it?
First of all, remember that light and peace come from their Ultimate Source, The Creator Allah Almighty who is The Source of Peace (As-Salaam) and The Source of Light (An-Nur).
Allah Almighty says in the chapter titled The Light in the Quran:
“Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The example of His light is like a niche within which is a lamp, the lamp is within glass, the glass as if it were a pearly [white] star lit from [the oil of] a blessed olive tree, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil would almost glow even if untouched by fire. Light upon light. Allah guides to His light whom He wills. And Allah presents examples for the people, and Allah is Knowing of all things.” (Quran 24: 25)
See how Allah mentioned that the source of light is blessed, neither from the east nor the west and it lights even if untouched because it is Light (from Him) upon light of the pure fitrah (God-given nature in the hearts of believers) and this is Light upon light and Allah grants this Light to whom He wills…..
So, Light essentially is from Allah and He bestows it upon those who actively and practically seek it of Him, not those who are passive, heedless, negligent or occupied and absorbed in the material world.
Accordingly, we need to be where Allah wants us to be in order to gain His Light.
So what exactly to do?
Get Light From Allah Fives Times a Day1- Pray on time
Be in the place of prayer when it’s time to pray and don’t miss the opportunity of getting light from Allah five times a day.
Remember that Allah already told us how to seek His Light and Love and maintain them in our lives. Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported:
“Allah the Exalted has said: ‘I will declare war against him who shows hostility to a pious worshiper of Mine. And the most beloved thing with which My slave comes nearer to Me is what I have enjoined upon him; and My slave keeps on coming closer to Me through performing Nawafil (prayer or doing extra deeds besides what is obligatory) till I love him. When I love him I become his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes, and his leg with which he walks; and if he asks (something) from Me, I give him, and if he asks My Protection (refuge), I protect him“. [Al- Bukhari].
So make sure you maintain the obligatory acts that Allah has enjoined, because He basically enjoined them knowing of their importance to maintaining the light of our hearts and our connection with Him.
When we work actively on maintaining the “fara’ed” (obligatory acts of worship) like prayer, fasting, zakat….etc. We can then work on developing this light further through the nawafil as per the hadith above in order to gain the love and closeness of Allah.
So what’s next…
2- Perform (nawafil)
This could be the Sunnah prayers, Sunnah fasting, giving more frequently to charity… all of these acts are done for the sake of Allah alone and His Closeness and by doing them, one really shows sincerity and active pursuit of Allah and His Light.
3- Do a lot of dhikr(remembrance of Allah)
Engage constantly in uttering words of dhikr like Subhan Allah, AlhamduliAllah, La illah illa Allah, Allahu Akbar. This keeps your tongue, heart and mind always in remembrance of Allah and it earns you His Closeness and Protection.
4- Make Dua
Make a lot of dua always and every day. The Prophet says:
“Verily supplication is worship.” [Related by the four Imams].
So ask Allah for all you need, be it a really small or really big matter, always ask Allah for all you need.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) mentions:
“‘Let one of you ask his Lord for his every need, even until he asks Him for the strap of his sandal when it breaks.’” [Jami` at-Tirmidhi]
5- Seek the company of righteous companions
Who remind you constantly of Allah, talk about Him, praise Him, live for His Sake and work for His sake… this will surely have an impact on you. And this is a command from Allah. He says in Surat Al Kahf:
“And keep yourself patient [by being] with those who call upon their Lord in the morning and the evening, seeking His countenance. And let not your eyes pass beyond them, desiring adornments of the worldly life, and do not obey one whose heart We have made heedless of Our remembrance and who follows his desire and whose affair is ever [in] neglect.” (Quran 18:28)
And the Prophet (peace be upon him) says, Narrated Abu Musa:
‘The example of a good pious companion and an evil one is that of a person carrying musk and another blowing a pair of bellows. The one who is carrying musk will either give you some perfume as a present, or you will buy some from him, or you will get a good smell from him, but the one who is blowing a pair of bellows will either burn your clothes or you will get a bad smell from him.” [Sahih Al Bukhari]
6- Actively seek knowledge of Allah
We constantly forget, this is why Allah called us “Nas” (Arabic for forgetful).
So we need to be reminded of Allah, our purpose, our destination, the Hereafter, Jannah….etc. Accordingly, you have to actively pursue knowledge.
There are plenty or resources online to help you with that, they’re free and you can access them anytime you want. For example, Bayyinah Institute, Quran Weekly and others.
Also, try to find circles/gathering/lectures in your area that you can attend, maybe at the masjid or through girls’ religious gathering where they seek knowledge and learn more about the deen on a weekly basis. This will keep you connected weekly at least with something that revives your faith and reminds you of the essentials.
7- Try to cut down the distractions in your life
If you spend too much time on social media or in any other activities that take you away from the remembrance of Allah and seeking His Light, then obviously, the light in your heart will be buried under layers and layers of distractions.
Imagine you have a lamp that emanates beautiful light, then you get too busy for days/weeks/months and you forget to clean this lamp. What will happen?
Most probably you will find that the glass of this lamp has been covered under layers and layers of dust and dirt.
The Light will be suffocating inside, unable to shine through. So you have to start cleaning in order to remove those layers and bring the light out again.
This is what happens to our heart when we neglect to clean and purify it from all of life’s distractions.
So, we need to actively, practically and continuously work on cleaning our hearts in order for the Light to take over and be more prevalent in our lives.
8- Most importantly, establish a relationship with the Quran!
This is the Direct Verbatim Words of Allah who is The Source of Light.
The Quran itself is Light and Healing and Guidance. So one has to seriously and persistently engage with the Quran through reading, listening, and recitation with tajweed, contemplation and reflection…etc.
There are many lectures online that help with Quran tafseer and tajweed. You can also try to find a teacher online or offline to help you study the Quran.
All of this is sea of purity and purification that soften hard hearts and feed the soul constantly so it won’t dry out.
Make Duaa
You can begin with asking Allah to help you and all of us with this task because it is Him alone who is capable of all things. So always recite this dua:
Allahumma a’inni ala dhikrika, wa shukrika, wa husni ‘ibadatika
(O Allah, help me remember You, be grateful to You, and worship You in an excellent manner).
You can assess your level of taqwa very easily. How do you make money? How good are your manners? Take a look at yourself and asses your level of being mindful of Allah. - aboutislam.net
