It may not look like it’s sitting in that cute bear bottle, but honey is a bacteria-killing powerhouse.
In Islam, chapter 16 of the Holy Qur’an is named “the Bees”. Some of the verses of this chapter say;
{And thy Lord taught the Bee to build its cells in hills, on trees, and in (men’s) habitations; Then to eat of all the produce (of the earth), and find with skill the spacious paths of its Lord: there issues from within their bodies a drink of varying colors, wherein is healing for men. Verily, in this is a sign for those who give thought.} [Surat An-Nahl 16:68-69].
Bees and some related insects produce honey. They make it from the sugary secretions of plants called floral nectar, or other insects (aphid honeydew). This production process contains several steps; regurgitation, enzymatic activity, and water evaporation.
In fact, honey gets its sweetness from the monosaccharides fructose and glucose. It has about the same relative sweetness as granulated sugar. Moreover, it provides 64 calories in a serving of one tablespoon (15 ml) equivalent to 1272 kJ per 100 g.
This sweet food has attractive chemical properties for baking and a distinctive flavor when used as a sweetener. Most microorganisms don’t grow in honey, so sealed honey doesn’t spoil, even after thousands of years.
Check the video above to know more about the molecular secrets behind this marvelous capability which Allah have given to honey. - aboutislam.net
Allah has told us everything we need to know in order to please Him and earn Paradise in His book, the Quran. All we need to do is follow the teachings of the Quran and its explanations and manifestations in the Prophet Muhammad’s teachings.
Among the many things which we can do to please God, there are some which He especially highlights as things He loves and things He doesn’t love. One of the most powerful ways of earning God’s pleasure is to do the things He loves and avoid at all costs the things He hates. Therefore let us look at some of these things.
Patience is a quality needed in every aspect of our lives. It is needed in obeying Allah’s commands and staying away from evil when we’re most tempted. It is needed in adversity, and it is needed in prosperity – in order to control ourselves from indulging in excesses. Therefore, it is a highly praiseworthy quality and one that Allah Himself says that He loves.
2- Justice
For Allah loves those who are fair (and just). (49:9)
Allah Himself is The Just, and He loves those who do justice towards others.
3- Tawakkul
Certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him). (3:159)
Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness, and He grants reward for it that He does not grant for harshness. (Ibn Majah)
5- Repentance
Truly, Allah loves those who turn unto him in repentance. (2:222)
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
If you were not to commit sins, Allah would have swept you out of existence and would have replaced you by another people who have committed sin, and then asked forgiveness from Allah, and He would have granted them pardon. (Muslim)
6- Prayer at its Proper Time
Narrated Al-Walid bin ‘Aizar:
I heard Abi Amr ‘Ash-Shaibani saying:
“The owner of this house, he pointed to Abdullah’s house, said, I asked the Prophet:
“Which deed is loved most by Allah?”
He replied:
To offer prayers at their early (very first) stated times. (Al-Bukhari)
Things Allah Doesn’t Love
1. Extravagance
Islam encourages moderation in every matter.
… Eat of [each of] its fruit when it yields and give its due [zakah] on the day of its harvest. And be not excessive. Indeed, He does not like those who commit excess. (Quran 6:141)
No one who has an atom’s weight of pride in his heart will enter the Garden. (Muslim)
Allah Himself is Al Mutakabbir. Istikbar in human beings is akin to competing with Allah in His attribute. That’s why Allah said in a hadith Qudsi:
Pride is my cloak and majesty is my lower garment, and I shall throw him who view with me regarding one of them into Hell. (Abu Dawud)
3. Transgression
Transgressing the boundaries which God has set for us is harmful for ourselves and others around us.
O you who have believed, do not prohibit the good things which Allah has made lawful to you and do not transgress. Indeed, Allah does not like transgressors. (5:87)
4. Injustice (Dhulm)
Dhulm can be done to other people or to our own selves. Transgressing the limits set by God amounts to oppressing ourselves.
But as for those who believed and did righteous deeds, He will give them in full their rewards, and Allah does not like the wrongdoers. (3:57)
5. Obscenity
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
Allah hates the profligate and the obscene. (At-Tirmidhi)
This is manifested in the life of the Prophet Muhammad– he never for once used any kind of obscene language or behavior in his whole life.
6. Treachery
God said in the Quran:
And do not argue on behalf of those who deceive themselves. Indeed, Allah loves not one who is a habitually sinful deceiver. (4:107)
Also:
If you [have reason to] fear from a people betrayal, throw [their treaty] back to them, [putting you] on equal terms. Indeed, Allah does not like traitors. (8:58)
If you look closely at the above examples of things which God loves and doesn’t like, you will notice that all of them are things which are of benefit to us, and harmful to us, respectively.
God loves the best for us and doesn’t like it that we harm ourselves. Thus it is manifest how much He loves us.
I think the most important thing to address is your depression. I’m not sure if this is something new that you are experiencing or one that is familiar, but I’d like to see you working towards a solution for the way you are feeling.
Take care of yourself
No one should have to struggle for a long time on their own. Can you consider speaking with a local counselor or someone online? This way, you have a support resource to help you, especially if you have been struggling for a long time.
Major depression, along with conditions like anxiety, can be very serious. If left untreated, it might be impossible for you to experience a productive, fulfilled, and joyful life.
If your depression is situational, if it is caused by something specific and recent, it’s in your best interest to address the source of grief in order to make decisions that will help you move forward.
So, I am with you on the importance of tackling your depression and creating a plan that will help you take care of yourself. Otherwise, the stress of a new marriage, a new person, and a new country who you don’t feel comfortable with can exacerbate the situation.
Are you scared of marriage?
Give yourself a timeline. I don’t want you to hide behind the depression for a long time as an excuse to not pursue marriage either. It seems from your question that not having an interest in getting married could also be stemming from fears as well.
You’ve mentioned not being prepared for the responsibilities of marital life. On the one hand, I appreciate that you are insightful in recognizing that you have some prep work to do before you feel ready to take this next step. On the other hand, depression aside, I want to ask “what has to happen for you to know you are ready?”
Sometimes, singles put a lot of pressure on themselves regarding marriage because they think they have to arrive at being some kind of near perfect person before they becoming a spouse.
Marriage is a work in progress for both people. So, it may help you to write down specifically the areas you don’t feel prepared to handle. Perhaps after writing things down, you can also spend some time reading books about marriage to offer some insight into how a relationship, specifically a healthy one, should function in marriage.
Check out this counseling video:
There is also being sensitive to cultural expectations and giving yourself a chance to think ahead as to which aspects of your culture you value and which ones you may not be in agreement with (if that is the case.)
This allows you to be clear with what you are looking for in a marriage. In addition, when you speak to a potential suitor, you can get a sense for his way of thinking and his expectations as well.
It also gives you a chance to decide what areas you’d like to grow in and prepare for specifically.
During this time period, both for your depression you are struggling with as well as finding a husband for marriage I encourage you to turn to Allah and make a lot of du’aa’. Ask Him for guidance to healing for that which burdens you. Also, ask Him for a kind and loving man who makes marriage a form of joy and not a heavy burden for you to carry.
“And your Lord says, “Call upon Me; I will respond to you……” (Quran 40:60)
Increase as well in dhikr and keeping your heart in a state where you are remembering your Lord often and His love, mercy, and forgiveness. Perhaps you can send salawat on The Prophet Muhammad (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and his family and recall that they went through many difficult struggles during their lifetimes.
You are not alone and that, alone, can bring solace to your heart.
Communicating with your parents
At the end of the day, no one can force you to get married. Forcing marriage is not allowed in Islam. A woman always has the final say on her decision of whom to marry and when to marry. It’s your right to decide for your own future.
That being said, your parents sound concerned about getting you married and feel pressure to do so because they are worried about time passing, you getting older, and them feeling like they failed in having their daughter married.
Being married when you aren’t ready or marrying someone you don’t even like shouldn’t be the goal of any parents.
That being said, in many cultures, there is a lot of pressure to see daughters and sons married off and the pressure to do so can take precedence over the goal of marriage itself.
The goal of marriage is to bring together two people who look favorably upon each other and desire to marry so that they will have a loving and happy household. A couple who can build a family together and raise children for the sake of Allah. If these aims aren’t the priority parents can pressure, out of desperation, their children to marry a person who isn’t right for them which leads to misery down the road later on.
Conclusion
That being said, you have also suggested that the man who you are speaking with is kind and his family seems like a good family.
Is it possible to have a few more chances to speak in order to determine if there is a possibility of connection? Chemistry can be difficult to establish when either the man or woman feels shy to open up out of fear of saying or doing something inappropriate.
Of course, that doesn’t account for the fact that you would be asked to move to another country. If that idea of that is something you aren’t comfortable with at this time, then it’s your right to express that to your parents.
It may be a little bit stressful speaking with them but be patient, strong, and graceful in responding to their questions and concerns.
This is step one in preparing yourself for marriage and taking care of yourself.
The authentic and preferred view in the Shafi`i school is that women’s feet are awrah. This view is also shared by Imams Malik, Al-Awza`i, and Abu Thawr- as stated by Imam An-Nawawi in his encyclopedic work al-Majmu`. Imam Abu Hanifah, Sufyan al-Thawri, and Muzani, however, do not consider women’s feet as awrah.
There is no harm in following the latter view in case of hardship. It is acceptable to do so, according to the teachings and precedents of the imams of the madhhab.
Hadiths Regarding the Fate of the Parents of the Prophet
There are two specific hadiths that mention the fate of the parents of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him.
Anas narrated that a man asked, ‘O Messenger of Allah, where is my father?’ The Prophet said, ‘In Hell.’ When he turned away the Prophet called him back and said,
‘My father and your father are in Hell.’” (Sahih Muslim 203, Book 1, #408)
Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said,
I sought permission to beg forgiveness for my mother, but Allah did not grant it to me. I sought permission from Allah to visit her grave, and Allah granted it to me. (Sahih Muslim 976a, Book 11, #134)
This is interpreted as the mother of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) being in Hell, because of what is said in the Qur’an:
It is not for the Prophet and those who have believed to ask forgiveness for the polytheists, even if they were relatives, after it has become clear to them that they are companions of Hellfire (Quran 9:113)
If the Prophet’s mother was a believer and in Paradise, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) would have been granted permission to pray for forgiveness for her.
Everyone is Responsible for Their Own Actions
It is very important for everyone to remember that each person is ultimately responsible for their own actions.
Allah says in the Qur’an,
No soul burdened with sin will bear the burden of another. And if a sin-burdened soul cries for help with its burden, none of it will be carried—even by a close relative. You can only warn those who stand in awe of their Lord without seeing Allah and establish prayer. Whoever purifies themselves, they only do so for their own good. And to Allah is the final return. (Qur’an 35:18)
On the Day of Judgment, we must take full ownership of all of our deeds, both our good deeds and our sins.
We cannot have anyone else take responsibility or blame for our sins, and no one can claim our good deeds as their own.
This applies to everyone, even our family members; no matter how much we may want to help out our loved ones regarding their fate, we cannot.
Allah is the Ultimate Judge and will judge us solely on what we ourselves did.
Families of Prophets are Not Exempt from Judgment
Even the family of the Prophets are not exempt from this.
Simply being related to or close to a Prophet does not mean that a person is by default a believer, a good person, or destined for Paradise.
If a relative of a Prophet doesn’t believe in Allah or does evil deeds, they will be punished in the Hereafter, and their familial connection to the prophet will not be of any help to them.
Allah specifically mentions that this is the case for the wives of Prophet Noah and Prophet Lot:
Allah sets forth an example for the disbelievers: the wife of Noah and the wife of Lot. Each was married to one of Our righteous servants, yet betrayed them. So their husbands were of no benefit to them against Allah whatsoever. Both were told, “Enter the Fire, along with the others!” (Qur’an 66:10)
Abu Lahab, the uncle of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), was also condemned to Hell in the Qur’an because of his disbelief. (Qur’an 111:1-5)
This illustrates the extent of Allah’s Justice; it would be very unfair to grant people Paradise just because they are related to a Prophet, regardless of their actions in life.
Because Allah is the Most Just, Allah therefore only judges people based on their own deeds.
Having Faith in Allah’s Mercy
But, all of this does not mean that we can be totally sure that the Prophet’s parents are doomed.
Allah promises, “We never punish until We have sent a Messenger.” (Qur’an 17:15)
This means that if a person is not aware of the message of Islam, they will not be penalized because they had no chance to accept or reject it.
Although most people in pre-Islamic Arabia were pagan, there were people there that believed in Allah (Jews, Christians, and general monotheists).
It is possible that the parents of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) were believers in Allah.
Since they died before the advent of Islam, they weren’t able to accept or reject Islam, so Allah would therefore not punish them.
{And who is more unjust than one who is reminded of the verses of his Lord but turns away from them and forgets what his hands have put forth? Indeed, We have placed over their hearts coverings, lest they understand it, and in their ears deafness. And if you invite them to guidance – they will never be guided, then – ever.} (Al-Kahf 18:57)
In this verse Allah Almighty talks about people who are given a reminder but they ignore it. But before discussing the ayah, let’s think about this physical phenomenon: our bodies have been gifted with different limbs and muscles. If you fail to exercise a muscle for an extended period of time, you may lose the ability to use that muscle.
So, for instance, if a person is laid in bed because of some sickness for months and months then, six months or a year later, try to get out of bed, they may not have the strength left their legs and stand up again. It may also be that they lose the ability to walk altogether as a result of not having exercised that muscle.
Borrowing from that analogy, there is some truth to our spiritual ability to benefit from a reminder. So Allah Almighty says in this Ayah who could be more of a wrongdoer than someone who was continually reminded of the Ayat, the revelations, and the miracles then he knowingly and deliberately ignored it; he does not really care.
They are exposed to something that can benefit them but they disregard it. Now, our hearts, our spiritual hearts, have the ability to take the reminder and benefit from it. Just like a muscle, if you do not exercise it; if the reminder comes and you refuse to put it to work, the muscle loses its ability. - aboutislam.net
Being a convert myself, I remember having similar questions about the concept of dua.
At first, it felt very confusing for me as well, and I too felt overwhelmed – so please know that you aren’t alone in feeling this way at first. I pray this answer may provide some clarity for you perhaps.
What is Dua?
Dua is commonly translated as supplication. It is the other type of prayer, besides salah, the daily obligatory prayer. Now what people don’t always make super clear when explaining it to somebody new to the faith is that many things count as duas, from the super small and simple to the lengthy and eloquent.
Allah Most High says in the Holy Quran,
“Your Lord has proclaimed, “Call upon Me, I will respond to you. Surely those who are too proud to worship Me will enter Hell, fully humbled.” (Surah Ghafir, Ayah 60)
The truth is that the duas people often teach each other are also from Quran or hadith and they’re ones often given to Prophets before us who had success with their duas.
That being said, there is no obligation to stick purely to the duas of other people. Dua can be anything from your heart at any moment in your native language as well – it just has to have the intention to be dua. Your prayers must be from the heart and that is all Allah Most High asks from us.
Bite-sized Duas With Powerful Meaning
To prove my point about small duas people do without realizing it is considered a dua, I thought I would include a small list of them.
Saying “peace be upon him” after mentioning the Messenger of Allah, the Prophet Muhammad ï·º
Subhanallah (Glory be to God)
Alhamdulillah (All praises be to God)
Astaghfirullah (I seek forgiveness from God)
The last two chapters of the Quran double as duas as well
Surah al-Fatiha
There are many more, of course, but these are often the most common duas Muslims may do without realizing they’re even duas. Of course, there are many gems in the Quran that are a bit longer (more like multi-word phrases) and then of course, long paragraphs of prayers people do, if they feel so inclined. However, I recommend everybody keep a Dua Journal when possible.
Dua Journaling
Dua journalling is a beautiful practice that anybody can do whenever they feel so inclined. It can be a Google Doc or any memo app where you write down the things you would like to talk to the Almighty about. Perhaps if you have the ability to, consider buying a pretty journal or notebook that brings you joy to write in.
Health, wisdom, tranquility, deeper understanding, forgiveness – these are all great things to talk to Allah about. Of course, He is also there to listen to the negative feelings too. If you’re feeling frustrated with family issues or betrayed by loved ones, He will hear you out when you talk about these things too. He is there in times of distress but also in times of delight, so try to talk to Him when you can, much like a close friend.
It is also a really lovely practice I recommend for people so we can keep track of all of the times we’ve said we would pray for somebody, even in passing. (I know I’ve told my family “Don’t worry! I’ll pray for you.” on facebook or something and then totally forget when I close my computer, because I didn’t write it down so having a dua journal helped me remember my promises better.)
How a Dua Journal Will Brighten Up Your Days
A dua journal is also a good way to later reflect back and see all of the blessings and bounties the Almighty has already given you before that you didn’t realize were answered. Like somebody might look back in ten years and simply say, “I remember feeling unsure of how to make dua and now I’m very comfortable with it since I prayed to Him that He would put ease in my prayers.” It is often said that God works in mysterious ways, but I find that a dua journal really helps solidify that God works in the best of ways for us.
In short, please consider making a dua journal or memo and focus on doing little daily dua phrases like the above mentioned so you can get more generally comfortable with dua. He did not want you to stress so much when you talk to Him, because He loves to hear from you over and over again. Allah is al-Wadood or the Divine Source of Love.
