Supplicating Allah to marry certain man

Question

Assalaamu alaykum. My question is: is it okay to supplicate to marry a particular person? I do not know a lot about him (just that he is working, is four years older to me, and is a practicing Muslim, I think). I came across his profile in my parents' mail (while they were browsing proposals for me), and there was something that attracted me to him. I made Istikhaarah (prayer of consultation) too and try not to think about him, but I somehow end up thinking about him. My parents had exchanged our profiles at the beginning of this year, but we never got a reply from them, and then two months ago we again got their profile via a marriage bureau. Are these some sort of signs, and why do I think about him so much? It is disturbing sometimes, and then I end up asking Allah to make him good for me and make him my future spouse, but then I get a little disheartened too, thinking whether it would be easy to meet. I do not know why there is something about him that attracts me and makes me think about him. Is that right on my part? Please help me.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

If this person is pleasing in his religion and moral conduct, then there is nothing wrong for you to supplicate Allah to make him your husband. This is among the good things that are permissible for a Muslim to supplicate Allah for; as Allah says (what means): {And ask Allah of His bounty. Indeed Allah is ever, of all things, Knowing.} [Quran 4:32]

However, there is no use in always thinking about him and being preoccupied by him, as this is morally exhausting and time-wasting. Hence, you should try to think about what benefits you in your religion and worldly life until Allah decides what is better for you. Nevertheless, you are not sinful for thinking about him provided that this does not lead to actions or words that cause the wrath of Allah or to being determined to commit a sin, as you are not held accountable for your thoughts. Abu Hurayrah  narrated that the Prophet said, "Allah has forgiven my nation for their inner talk (to themselves) as long as they do not speak about it or act according to it.” [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

Thinking about him may be due to your extreme desire that he becomes your husband. Nonetheless, we draw your attention to the fact that it is better to endeavor to repel these thoughts lest they would lead you to unpleasant consequences.

The matters that you mentioned are not necessarily related to the outcome of the Istikhaarah or its outcome in being enabled to do the matter on which you sought Istikhaarah or not.

Our advice to you is to put the matter in the Hands of Allah and supplicate Him as much as possible, and you may repeat the Istikhaarah.

In the end, if it is possible to marry him, then all the best; otherwise, you should not think about him anymore. You do not know where goodness is for you. There are many men out there, so ask Allah to bless you with a righteous husband. Allah says (what means): {But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not.} [Quran 2:216]

Allah knows best.

-islamweb.net