Sunday, 30 April 2017

Brilliant Examples of the Pious God-Conscious Child

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Perhaps the title of this article astonishes you, and attracts your sight and attention, and maybe you are now thinking about that unknown child, or, let us say, the child who is unknown not only to you but to many other parents.
A pious God-conscious child! Is it possible that such a child actually exists?
Perhaps, dear parent, you need of a book of Tafseer (exegesis) to explain to you the concept of the term pious God-conscious. However, let me spare you that effort.
Pious God-consciousness stands for the pious who have sound understanding of the religion and the devout scholars of the Lord. It is mentioned in that meaning in Surat Al ‘Imran, where Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {"Be pious scholars of the Lord because of what you have taught of the Scripture and because of what you have studied."} [Quran 3:79]
Pious God-consciousness also stands for the pious worshipper and religious scholar as stated in Surat Al-Ma’idah where Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {Why do the rabbis and religious scholars not forbid them?} [Quran 5:63]
Pious God-consciousness then combines three concepts: understanding of the religion, religious knowledge and worship -- or at least two: knowledge and acting upon that knowledge.
The pious God-conscious person is the one who has knowledge about Allah The Almighty, and acts upon that knowledge. That is because knowledge always calls for action: if it responds to the call, that is good, otherwise, it leaves.
The following question then arises: Is there a child who has such attributes?
I mean a child who is a pious God-conscious worshipper in his disposition, who fears the punishment of Allah The Almighty, aspires to attain the good pleasure of Allah, is attached to the Hereafter, eager to learn religious knowledge, eager to pray (in congregation) in the Masjid, eager to memorize and learn the Quran, weeps for fear of Allah The Almighty, takes part with the old in the I‘tikaf (seclusion in the Masjid) of Ramadan, observes (the Commandments of) Allah in secret and in public, rises above all vices and shameful deeds, refrains from what is unfavorable but instead endeavors to do what is favorable, is dutiful to his parents and maintains his kinship ties.
All those faith-boosting characteristics are combined in one term: God-consciousness and piety.
Dear parent, perhaps you are now thinking about the children of these days, I mean the children of the internet and video games, the children who abandon the prayer and raise their voices against their parents, and who may even beat their parents, we seek refuge with Allah The Almighty.
Nay! It is not about those that I am talking to you, given that my aim by this talk is to mend their affairs, and make them fit to carry that supreme noble attribute, i.e., to be pious and God-conscious.
However, in this meeting, let me enjoy with you an exploration of god-consciousness and piety, and scoop some of its pure and sweet spring, and tour with brilliant examples from the childhood of the pious God-conscious children, so that we attain the purpose of this article, i.e. realizing that the pious God-conscious child is real; not imaginary, and can possibly exist.
The first model
The pious God-conscious worshipping child is he who relies on Allah The Almighty:
One of the Companions entered a mosque and his eye fell on a child of no more than eleven years, who was standing in prayer submissively. When he finished his prayer, he asked him,
"Who is your father, boy?" The child said, "I am an orphan." He asked him, "Then, do you accept to be a son of mine?" The child said, "Then, would you feed me whenever I am hungry?"
The Companion answered in the affirmative. The child further asked, "Then, would you give me water whenever I am thirsty?" The Companion answered in the affirmative. He asked him,
"Then, would you dress me whenever I am naked?" He answered in the affirmative. He asked him, "Then, would you bring me to life when I die?" The Companion was astonished and said, "There is no way to do so."
On that the child said, "Then, leave me to Him who has created me, and it is He who sustains me, then will cause me to die and then bring me to life once again."
The noble Companion left while saying, "By my life, whoever relies on Allah The Almighty, He is sufficient for him."
Similarly, there is among the pious God-conscious worshippers, those who rely on Allah The Almighty as He should be relied upon.
The second model
The pious God-conscious worshipping child stands at night (in prayer):
It was narrated that when Abu Yazid Tayfur ibn ‘Isa Al-Bistami  may  Allah  have  mercy  upon  himlearnt the Statement of Allah (which means): {O you who wraps himself [in clothing], Arise [to pray] the night, except for a little} [Quran 73:1-2], he asked his father, "O father! Who is the one whom Allah The Almighty is addressing here?" He said, "O son! That is Prophet Muhammad, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam." He asked. "O father! Why do you not do the same as the Prophet Muhammad, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, did?" He said, "O son! Allah The Almighty Favored His Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, by making obligatory the standing at night (in prayer) on him apart from his Ummah." On that the child kept silent.
However, when the child learnt the Saying of Allah (which means): {Indeed, your Lord Knows, [O Muhammad], that you stand [in prayer] almost two thirds of the night or half of it or a third of it, and [so do] a group of those with you} [Quran 73:20], the child asked his father, "O father! I have learnt that a group of people stood at night (in prayer) with the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam: who are they?" His father said, "Those are the Companions, may Allah be pleased with them." The child asked, "Then, why do you leave what was done by the Companions?" He said, "You are right my son. I will never leave it Allah willing." From this time on, he kept standing at night in prayer. One night, Abu Yazid  may  Allah  have  mercy  upon  him got up and behold! His father was praying. He said to him, "Teach me how to get purified, perform ablution and do like your doing and pray with you." His father said to him, "O son! Sleep, for you are still young." He said, "O father! Then, when it is the day on which the people will depart separated [into categories] to be shown [the result of] their deeds, I will say to my Lord: "I said to my father: "How should I get purified and perform ablution to pray with you", and he refused and said to me, 'Sleep for you are still young.'" On that his father said to him, "No, by Allah, son!" he taught him and he offered prayer with him.
From among these examples of pious children, there is such a child who reflects on Allah The Almighty, and the dominion of Allah The Almighty.
The last example
The pious God-conscious worshipping girl:
Hatim Al-Asamm  may  Allah  have  mercy  upon  him had many children whom he addressed saying, "I intend to perform Hajj this year." They wept and said, "To whom are you going to entrust us our father?" One of his daughters said, "Stop weeping and let our father perform Hajj. No doubt, it is not he who provides for sustenance, (and recited what means): {Indeed, it is Allah who is the [continual] Provider, the Firm Possessor of Strength.} [Quran 51:58]
The children slept and they were in a state of hunger, and went on blaming their sister (for her approach), who said (supplicating), "O Allah! Disappoint me not among them!"
It happened that the governor of the town came upon that place and asked for water, and one of them gave him a new container of cold water. When the governor drank he asked him,
"Whose house is this?" He said, "The house of Hatim Al-Asamm." He threw a piece of gold and said to his companions (who were with him), "Whoever likes me should do the same." They all threw (pieces of gold) like him.
The daughter of Hatim Al-Asamm wept so her mother asked her, "What causes you to weep, given that Allah The Almighty has enlarged sustenance upon us?" She said, "O mother! A creature has looked at us (with mercy and kindness and provided for us) and so we have become independent and grateful: then, what do you think if Allah The Almighty looks at us (with mercy and kindness)?”
Dear parent, these are some brilliant examples, and it is possible that we could elevate our children to this high level.

Bad omens & pessimism – What is the difference?

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Sometimes, I have a difficult test at school in a subject that I am not prepared for, and I feel almost certain that I will do poorly on that test. Is such a pessimistic attitude wrong for a Muslim to have? Is it sinful to be pessimistic about something, even when the chance of success seems remote? Is this any different that a belief in bad omens? If not, then what is the difference?


Bad omens stem from a belief that certain things one sees or hears are to be taken as signs that something bad is going to befall. Omens are irrational. They are not to be confused with practical scientific predictions based on considerations of natural cause-and effect that Allah has placed in creation. Rather, an omen is a superstition. It is a superstition that is often connected with embarking upon some enterprise or journey, and the "sign" that appears makes the superstitious person refrain from undertaking it. The pagans of Mecca saw bad omens in certain birds. 

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "There are no such things as omens." [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (5754) and Sahîh Muslim (2223)] 

He also said: "Omens are polytheism." [Sunan Abî Dâwûd (3411)] 

Such superstitions are sinful, and belief in them is forbidden by Islam. Only Allah determines what will befall in the future, not the stars, nor flights of birds, nor any other arbitrary happening that has no observable cause-and effect relationship with the matter at hand. 

Pessimism, on the other hand, is simply a negative attitude. It is the prevalence of belief that the outcome will not be as one desires it to be or will not meet with one's expectations. All of us experience this at one time or another. At times, there may be rather sensible reasons for feeling this way. For instance, a student might be pessimistic about test results after taking a difficult test where the questions appeared confusing (or even before taking a difficult test the student did not properly prepare for). 

This is merely a natural fear of a bad outcome - nothing more, nothing less. Such pessimism does not compromise our faith in Allah and His power, unless it causes us to entertain negative thoughts about Allah. Under all circumstances, we must believe that Allah has power over the outcome and that what He wills must come to pass. If He wills, He can prevent the bad outcome.

A Muslim believes that everything that takes place in Creation occurs according to Allah's will and decree. Whatever befalls us would not have passed us by, and whatever we miss out on in our lives would not have been for us. This is something we should remind ourselves of whenever the gloominess of our circumstances gives us a sense of fear or foreboding. We should turn our hearts to Allah and remind ourselves that His decree will prevail. Our fears will not prevent a bad outcome from taking place, if that is what Allah has decreed. This will steady our hearts and encourage us to beseech Allah more often in prayer, for He is indeed Almighty and Most-Merciful.

Saturday, 29 April 2017

The difference between major sins and minor sins

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Can you explain to me the difference between major sins and minor sins?
Praise be to Allah
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Sins may be divided into minor sins and major sins, according to the texts of the Qur’an and Sunnah, the consensus of the early generations, and how they are regarded by scholars. End quote.
Madaarij as-Saalikeen (1/315)
Once we know what major sins are, then we will know what minor sins are.
There are various scholarly views concerning the definition of major sins, after establishing the fact that they are not limited to the seven (mentioned in a well-known hadith).
Al-Haafiz said:
It was said that the major sin is that for which the doer is subject to a warning of punishment in a text of the Qur’an or Sunnah.
Ibn ‘Abd as-Salaam said: I have not come across any definition of major sin that could be completely free of some flaws. The best is to define it as any sin that could indicate that the level of negligence of the one who commits it is like the level of negligence of one who commits the least of the major sins mentioned in the texts. Some defined it as any sin that is accompanied by a warning of punishment or being cursed.
Ibn as-Salaah said: Major sins have indications such as: the stipulation of hadd punishments for such acts; a warning of punishment in Hell and the like in the Qur’an or Sunnah; a description of the doer as an evildoer; and mention of a curse upon the one who does it.
Ismaa‘eel al-Qaadi narrated, with a sound chain of narration from al-Hasan al-Basri, that the latter said: Every deed concerning which Allah, may He be exalted, warned the doer of Hell is a major sin.
One of the best definitions is that given by al-Qurtubi in al-Mufhim: Every sin concerning which a text of the Qur’an or Sunnah, or scholarly consensus, states that it is a major sin or a grave sin, or mentioned a severe punishment for it, or decreed a hadd punishment for it, or denounced it in the strongest terms, is a major sin.
Based on that, one can check the texts and see where mention is made of a warning of punishment or curse, or a deed is described as evildoing, in the Quran and saheeh or hasan hadiths. We may add to that cases where the text of the Qur’an or the saheeh or hasan hadith state clearly that an act is a major sin. Al-Haleemi said in al-Minhaaj: There is no sin but it is either minor or major. A minor sin may become a major sin when there is something to indicate that, and a major sin may become a faahishah (shameful, abhorrent deed) by the same token. For example, killing a soul unlawfully is a major sin, but if someone kills an ascendant (parent or grandparent) or a descendant (child or grandchild) or a relative, or he kills someone in the Haram (sanctuary), or during the sacred months, then it is a faahishah. Zina (unlawful sex) is a major sin, but if it is with a neighbour’s wife or a mahram (close relative) or during the month of Ramadan, or in the Haram, then it is a faahishah.
Stealing less than the threshold amount [that is, less than the value of stolen goods at which the hadd punishment of amputating the hand becomes due] is a minor sin, but if the one from whom it is stolen possesses nothing else and losing it will lead to him becoming vulnerable, then it becomes a major sin.
End quote from al-Haafiz.
See: Tafseer Ibn Katheer (2/285-286].
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked about the major sins mentioned in the Qur’an and hadith: is there a definition by which one may recognise them?
He replied:
The best of the views concerning this issue is that which was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas and was mentioned by Abu ‘Ubaydah, Ahmad ibn Hanbal and others. It is the view that the minor sin is that for which no punishment is specified in this world or the hereafter. This is similar to what was said by those who say that it is a sin that is not subject to a hadd punishment in this world. And it is similar to what was said by those who say that any sin concerning which mention is made of a curse, divine wrath or warning of Hell is a major sin. And it is similar to what was said by those who say that the minor sin is that concerning which there is no hadd punishment in this world, and no warning of punishment in the hereafter – that is, a specific warning such as a warning of Hell, divine wrath or curse.
Similarly, every sin concerning which the doer is warned that he will not enter Paradise or even smell the fragrance of Paradise, or it was said concerning it that the one who does it is not one of us, or the one who does it is a wrongdoer – all of these are major sins. End quote.
Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa (11/650-652). See also Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa (11/658-659); Madaarij As-Saalikeen by Ibn al-Qayyim (1/315-327)
There is a report which appears to limit the major sins to seven:
Al-Bukhaari (2767) and Muslim (89) narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Avoid the seven sins that doom a person to Hell.” It was said: What are they, O Messenger of Allah? He said: “Associating others with Allah (shirk); witchcraft (sihr); killing a soul whom Allah has forbidden us to kill, except in cases dictated by Islamic law; consuming riba; consuming orphans’ wealth; fleeing from the battlefield; and slandering chaste, innocent women.”
At-Tabaraani narrated in al-Mu‘jam al-Awsat (5709) from Abu Sa‘eed al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with him) that he said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The major sins are seven: associating others with Allah (shirk); killing a soul whom Allah has forbidden us to kill, except in cases dictated by Islamic law; slandering chaste women; fleeing from the battlefield; consuming riba; consuming orphans’ wealth; and going back to living in the desert like Bedouin after having migrated (hijrah).”
Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami‘ (4606)
But this is not intended to limit the number of major sins to seven.
Al-Haafiz said in al-Fath:
At-Tabari narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas that it was said to him: The major sins are seven. He said: They are more than seven plus seven. According to another report from him: They are closer to seventy. According to another report: They are closer to seven hundred. His words may be interpreted as emphasising that the hadith is not to be understood literally as meaning that there are only seven. End quote.
There are three points to which we should pay attention and be aware of:
Persisting in a minor sin may make it a major sin.
Al-Qaraafi said: A minor sin does not undermine a person’s integrity or make him an evildoer, unless he persists in it, in which case it becomes a major sin.… There is no minor sin if one persists in it, and there is no major sin if it is followed by prayer for forgiveness, as the early generations said… What they mean by prayer for forgiveness is repentance fulfilling all the necessary conditions, not asking for forgiveness whilst persisting in the sin and not intending to give it up. End quote.
Al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah (34/156)
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Persisting in a minor sin may incur a burden of sin equivalent to a major sin or even more. End quote.
Ighaathat al-Lahfaan (2/151)
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
If a person persists in a minor sin and that becomes his habit, then it becomes a major sin because of persisting in it, not because of the deed in and of itself. Talking to a woman on the phone for the purpose of pleasure is haraam, but it is not a major sin. However, if a person persists in doing that and it becomes his main focus to call these women and talk to them, then it becomes a major sin. Persisting in a minor sin makes it a major sin because of persisting in it, because persisting in a minor sin indicates that one is heedless of Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, or that one does not care about the prohibitions of Allah. End quote.
Liqa’ al-Baab al-Maftooh (5/172)
Thinking lightly of minor sins leads to doom. Ahmad (3808) narrated from ‘Abdullah ibn Mas‘ood (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: Beware of these sins that are regarded as insignificant, for they will accumulate until they destroy a man.”
The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) gave a likeness of such deeds: the likeness of “people who stopped to camp in the wilderness, and they wanted to prepare some food, so one man went and brought a stick, and another man brought a stick, until they had gathered a huge pile and lit a fire, and whatever they put in the pot was cooked as a result.”
Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh at-Targheeb (2470).
Avoiding major sins is an expiation for minor sins.
No one is free of sin in his daily life, whether that sin has to do with the relationship between him and his Lord, or between him and other people. So let him strive to purify his record constantly, and let him know that if he keeps away from sins that could lead to doom, major sins and sins that could doom a person to hell, Allah may forgive him for small faults other than that. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“If you avoid the great sins which you are forbidden to do, We shall remit from you your (small) sins, and admit you to a Noble Entrance (i.e. Paradise)”
[an-Nisa’ 4:31]
“Those who avoid great sins) and Al-Fawahish (illegal sexual intercourse, etc.) except the small faults, verily, your Lord is of vast forgiveness”
[an-Najm 53:32]
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Al-Khattaabi said: What is meant by small faults is what Allah, may He be exalted, mentioned in the verse “Those who avoid great sins) and Al-Fawahish (illegal sexual intercourse, etc.) except the small faults”; this is what is overlooked. In the other verse He said: “If you avoid the great sins which you are forbidden to do, We shall remit from you your (small) sins”. From the two verses we understand that the small faults are minor sins, and that they may be remitted or expiated if one avoids major sins.
End quote.
And Allah knows best.

Birthday parties

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What is the ruling on celebrating birthdays?


If you mean formally celebrating the likes of the birthday of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) or Prophet Jesus (peace be upon him) as a devotional act, then this is clearly unlawful. Such festive days are newly contrived innovations that conflict with the dictates of Islamic Law. 

Such rites are from the traditions of the People of the Book. They have a devotional purpose and are carried out seeking nearness to Allah. This is the reason I view such occasions to be unlawful and prohibited. 

If, on the other hand, you mean celebrating personal birthdays, then this is something different, since it is not intended as a devotional act or an act of worship. Therefore, it is not as serious a matter. 

Still, personally I tend to regard it as something disliked for people who are not already accustomed to celebrating this event in their culture, but do so merely to blindly ape cultural practices that are outside of their own experience and understanding. 

All the same, birthday parties are not religious occasions and do not have an overtly religious cast to them. 

A birthday party is not a festival of the nature of an `îd that is a general festive day for the entire community. It is merely a personal occasion that means nothing more than a remembrance of something dear. Therefore, it is permissible. 

And Allah knows best.

Friday, 28 April 2017

Can he pray two rak‘ahs with more than one niyyah (intention)?

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Is it possible to combine intentions when offering a naafil (supererogatory) prayer, such as praying two rak‘ahs with the intention that they be a naafil prayer including the two rak‘ahs following wudoo’ and the Sunnah prayer following Maghrib?
Praise be to Allah
Combining of acts of worship falls into two categories:
The first category:
The first category includes acts of worship where it is valid to combine those acts. The guideline concerning that is that one of the two acts of worship is not intended for its own sake. In this case it is permissible to combine them, so that one deed counts as two.
An example of that is the two rak‘ahs to “greet the mosque” (tahiyyat al-masjid) and the two rak‘ahs following wudoo’, and similar prayers that are not intended for their own sake. So it is permissible for a person to pray two rak‘ahs with the intention of offering the two rak‘ahs following wudoo’ and the Sunnah prayer of Maghrib, as the questioner mentioned, because the purpose of the two rak‘ahs following wudoo’ is so that the Muslim prays straight after making wudoo’, whether it is his regular prayer or Duha prayer or some other prayer.
Another example of that is “greeting the mosque” (tahiyyat al-masjid), because the purpose of this prayer is that the one who has entered the mosque does not sit down until he has prayed.
Shaykh Khaalid al-Mushayqih said: “Greeting the mosque” is not a prayer that is intended for its own sake, so it may be combined with another prayer, such as the regular Sunnah prayer. So if you enter the mosque to pray Zuhr, then you can pray two rak‘ahs with the intention of the regular Sunnah prayer and with the intention of greeting the mosque. If you intend to greet the mosque and to offer the regular Sunnah prayer, you will attain the reward of two prayers in two rak‘ahs. If you do wudoo’ and come to the mosque with the intention of offering the regular Sunnah prayer and greeting the mosque and praying the two rak‘ahs following wudoo’, then you will attain the reward of three prayers in two rak‘ahs. This is one of the benefits of forming the intention. Similarly, if a person does wudoo’ for Duha, then prays two rak‘ahs, intending them to be the two rak‘ahs following wudoo’ and the two rak‘ahs of Duha, he will attain the reward of two prayers in two rak‘ahs.
End quote from al-‘Aqd ath-Thameen (p. 161).
The second category:
The second category includes cases where combining acts of worship is not allowed. That is if each of the two acts of worship is intended for its own sake. In this case it is not possible to combine two intentions for one action.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen gave an example of that. He said: A man missed the Sunnah prayer of Fajr, until the sun rose and the time for Duha prayer came. In this case, the Sunnah of Fajr cannot suffice for Duha prayer, and Duha cannot suffice for the Sunnah of Fajr, and they cannot be combined either, because the Sunnah of Fajr is separate and the Sunnah of Duha is separate. Doing one of them does not suffice for the other.
Similarly, if one of them is connected to the one that came before it, then they cannot be combined. If someone were to say: I want to form the intention to combine the obligatory prayer of Fajr and the regular Sunnah of Fajr, we say: That is not valid, because the regular Sunnah prayer is connected to the (obligatory) prayer, so doing one of them does not suffice for the other.
And he said: A similar example is the Sunnah prayer following tawaf and the Sunnah prayer of Fajr. For example, if a person finishes his tawaf after the adhaan for Fajr prayer and before the iqaamah, and he intends to combine the Sunnah prayer of tawaf with the Sunnah prayer of Fajr, this is not valid, because doing one of them does not suffice for the other, because the Sunnah of tawaf is to be intended for its own sake, and the Sunnah of Fajr is to be intended for its own sake.
End quote from Liqaa’aat al-Baab al-Maftooh.
As-Suyooti said, quoting an-Nawawi: … If one of the two sunnahs is not implied by the other, then the intentions thereof should not be combined in one act, such as the Sunnah prayer of Duha and making up the Sunnah of Fajr. This is unlike greeting the mosque and the Sunnah of Zuhr, for example, because greeting the mosque may be implied and included in the Sunnah of Zuhr.
End quote from al-Ashbaah wa’n-Nazaa’ir (p. 23).
See also: al-Majmoo‘ Sharh al-Muhadhdhab (5/75)
One of those who explained this principle in great detail was al-‘Allaamah ibn Rajab (may Allah have mercy on him) in his book al-Qawaa‘id (p. 23)
And Allah knows best.

Good Expectations of Allah While Facing Difficulties in Life

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I am feeling very disappointed right now. In fact, my heart is burning. I have been searching for a better half for four years, as my marriage failed to materialize at the eleventh hour four years ago. I thought that it was for the best, as Allah, the Exalted, plans something better for you. I also asked for the best better half in Makkah, where supplications are not rejected. After four years, when I finally arranged my marriage and was going to get married, I got some information about the girl. Shaytan (the devil) created suspicions about the girl having fornicated. For four years, I continued to supplicate for a girl with a worthy character and made all possible supplications, including 'Allahumma Ajirni fi musibati...' I also performed Istikharah (prayer of consultation) before going ahead. At this stage, it is not possible to go back on my decision without concrete evidence, which is impossible to obtain, as only Allah, the Exalted, knows the facts, and more importantly, it would break many hearts. So I think I will let my heart burn instead of breaking so many hearts and so many dreams. However, I am very disappointed and ask myself why Allah, the Exalted, put me in such a situation while I continuously prayed to save me from such a scenario. I have not ever touched any girls, so where is the call of Allah, the Exalted, Who says that "for good men, I have made good women."
May Allah make thing easy for you. From your letter, I see some things that are part of the problem. You need to understand the nature of this life, as Allah informed us in the Quran. This life is a test, everyone is tested, whether it be with things we like or things we do not like. Allah, the Almighty, said, {Every soul will taste death. And We test you with evil and with good as trial; and to Us you will be returned.} [Quran 21:35]
Some people are tested with matters of ease, they have wealth, health, and all that they ask for. They can be Muslims or disbelievers, it does not matter, because all are being tested. If Allah is testing you with what you see as difficult, you should be pleased with Allah. You use all the means that you have, and at the end you are pleased with what Allah decrees for you, knowing that everything is there for a reason.
It is not clear from your statements why you have suspicions regarding your intended wife. If you do not have clear, concrete evidence, then you should stay away from these doubts, and it should not burn your heart, because there is no basis to it then. If she is not religious and openly commits sins, then you should avoid marrying her, even if you think that this will break hearts. Do what is beneficial for you and your religion, and do not worry about breaking anyone's heart. One of the big mistakes that people do is when they get married just because they feel bad for their partner. It causes difficulties later on in life. Make your decision now before you get married, regardless of whether this is a good choice for you or not; if you are not convinced to marry that girl, then do not betray her and stay away.
When we supplicate for matters of this life, we do not know what is good for us; that is why we pray Istikharah and leave it to Allah. You should use all available means, ask the people of knowledge, be determined, and then rely on Allah, the Most High, for all of your affairs.
Life is too short to be wasted in worries and sadness. Look positively at everything you go through, and always keep your focus on the end result, the Hereafter. That is why the Quran always takes us to the Hereafter to see the outcome of our actions, so that we make decisions accordingly. The real regret is the regret in the Hereafter, and the real loss is the loss in the Hereafter. So my sincere advice to you is for you to have good expectations in thinking about Allah, the Most Merciful; He only decrees what is best for you if you know how to worship Allah accordingly, with patience and while being grateful. May Allah make it easy for you.