Marrying and divorcing girl in jest

Question

I had a girlfriend, and I used to chat with her during phone calls. Sometimes she was alone, while some other times, her friends were around her whilst she was talking to me. I proposed marriage to her in jest on multiple occasions on the phone, and she used to reply in affirmation, and all this happened multiple times, and I used to divorce her in jest also, and all this happened multiple times. I was totally unaware of the Sharia and all Fiqhi (related to jurisprudence) matters. Can I marry her now, or is she haram to me? The Hanafis say that marriage is valid without a Wali (legal guardian), how do you refute their opinion? Please clearify each and every point in detail .

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad , is His slave and Messenger.

Marriage is a ritual that must be treated with respect and appreciation on part of the Muslim. Allah, The Exalted, says (what means): {And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.} [Quran 30:21] Allah, The Exalted, also described it as a 'solemn covenant': {And how could you take it while you have gone in unto each other and they have taken from you a solemn covenant?} [Quran 4:21] This is why the Islamic Sharee'ah set certain conditions and rules governing marriage. Hence, the marriage contract must be conducted with the permission of the bride's Wali in the presence of two trustworthy witnesses who must hear the proposal (Eejaab) and the acceptance (Qabool).

As for merely calling this girl, proposing to her, and her accepting the proposal, this is not considered a valid marriage; rather, it is a kind of frivolous play. As long as the marriage is not valid to begin with, divorce is meaningless. It is permissible for you to marry this girl properly; i.e. fulfilling the above-mentioned conditions.

As for the marriage conducted without the permission of the Wali, the scholars held different views regarding its validity. The majority of the scholars held that it is invalid, and this is the preponderant view. The Hanafis, on the other hand, maintained that it is valid. 

Lastly, we would like to emphasize the prohibition of engaging in illegitimate relationships out of wedlock. Muslims should beware of playing with people's honors like that as this is a transgression of the limits of Allah, The Exalted. He says (what means): {These are the limits of Allah, so do not transgress them. And whoever transgresses the limits of Allah - it is those who are the wrongdoers.} [Quran 2:229]

Allah knows best.

-islamweb.net