Denies her husband sex because he does not pray regularly

Question

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu, I have an issue with my husband. I am myself new converted, makes 8 years now, alhamdullah. We have 2 boys, 6 and 3 years old. I have done all possible, taht kids know how to pray, know Quran (oldest son knows allready 4 Surat from Quran and reads every evening before sleeping Ruqia). My husband I not praying regulary - sometimes he has good spirit and prays and family life is shiny; often he has low spirit due to his family problems that he has to solve from a distance and he stops praying. He never taught kids how to pray he does not speak arabic with then, even we made agree before marriage, taht he speaks arabic only... Myself I am very sorry for kids, that I am only one teaching Quran for them. I do my best, inshallah. My husband is a very good person, husband and father, he has a very big hart and helps everybody, but he lets his family abroad to mess up his spirit all the time and this causes problems in our marriage. Now I have begged him to pray, he does does not, and I am getting really un-patient. Now what the Quran says for men to ignore wifes in the bed, I have done with my husband. He does not like it, but he just cannot hear or obey my onlyest please to pray... I am helpless, having all the time bad feeling and my husband is sayin it is my fault, he does not pray, cause I do not want to sleep with him. But I cannot, cause person who does not pray, I cannot have intercourse with. I am afraid, in case i will be get pregnant, Allah punishes him with a child, that's not healthy. I stopped nagging rather do not speak about praying, just reminding him, it is the time. My husband works long days, like me too, but I do my 5 prayers every day. How do I have to handle? Barakallahufik for your help!

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

Indeed, you did well for being keen on nurturing your children upon faith and for teaching them the memorization of the Quran. We ask Allah to give you success in doing that and to rectify your husband.

We advise you to continue being concerned with your children. The negligence of your husband should not cause you distress and prevent you from doing this important role by which you will achieve happiness in this world and in the Hereafter.

As regards your husband, if he is as you mentioned in the question that he abandons the prayer, then his situation is very serious and he has indeed committed one of the grave major sins. However, the opinion of the majority of the scholars  is that a person who abandons the prayer out of laziness does not go out of the fold of Islam, however, some scholars  are of the view that he goes out of the fold of Islam.

Therefore, we advise you to continue admonishing him in a soft and gentle manner and remind him that those problems which occur should not lead him to abandon the prayer, and that abandoning the prayer may cause the calamities and make them more complex. On the contrary, performing the prayer at its prescribed fixed time may be a reason for repelling the calamities. Allah Says (what means): {And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allah].}[Quran 2:45]

As regards deserting the spouse in bed, then in Islam it is the husband who has the right to do so with his wife and not vice-versa.

According to the view of the majority of the scholars  who are of the view that a person who abandons the prayer does not go out of the fold of Islam, then the bond of marriage between both of you is still valid. Therefore, it is not permissible for you to refuse his request when he invites you to bed. However, if you fear to be harmed by staying with him, then you may ask for divorce.

Allaah Knows best.

-islamweb.net