Intention of divorce lies with husband

Question

Sir, the link you sent does n'ot relate to my query at all. I did not ask whether divorce counts or not if one says 'I div' or 'divorce you'. I asked you about our two three-year-old incidents of divorce. I was not worried about the incidents when he said them because at the time I thought that if one says 'I divorce you' without saying the word 'give' divorce does not count. Now, when I found out that if husband says to his wife 'I divorce you' even without the word 'give' the divorce counts, it reminded me of our two three-years-old incidents of divorce. In the first incident of divorce, I am 100% sure that he said "I you divorce" (I divorce you) without saying 'give', but then I sometimes get confused about whether he said 'divorce' or 'div'. As for the second incident; again, I am 100% sure that he said 'I divorce you', but again, I sometimes cannot recall whether he said 'div' or 'divorce' when he said it. Three years after these two incidents, he quietly said, "I you divorce give". When he said, "I divorce you", I was not worried because I thought that he has to say 'give'. As soon as I heard 'give', I said, "You divorced me." He said, "I wanted to say, 'I you divorce give will (in english: I will divorce you),' but my tongue got twisted, so I said will in my throat." Since I did not hear 'will' (in Urdu, 'will' comes after 'give'), I asked a scholar about the fact that my husband said, "I you divorce" with "give". The scholar said that divorce counts even if he did not say 'give'. Then my husband said, "I said, 'I you divorce give will' (I will divorce you)." Then the scholar did not count this divorce, so when I found out that divorce counts even without the word 'give', I got worried about the other two incidents, so I asked my husband about those; he says, "For the first incident, I can not recall, but maybe I said 'div'." And about the other incident, he says that he does not remember the second incident at all. Do these divorces count in this situation, given that I am sure for 100% that he said the full word 'divorce', like 'I divorce you' but then sometimes I get confused and cannot clearly recall if he said 'div' or 'divorce' since the incidents are old? I have two more divorces besides these two incidents.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad  is His slave and Messenger.

Regardless of whatever your husband uttered, whether it is ‘div’ or ‘divorce’ or ‘I give you divorce’; all these are not explicit expressions of divorce. So it all depends on the husband’s intention – and he knows best about his intention – so if he says that he did not intend to initiate a divorce, then divorce did not take place in any of these cases. There is no need for you to worry; divorce is in the hands of the husband, and he is the one who is responsible before Allah on the Day of Judgment for what he says about his intention. And beware of repeating questions about such incidents, as this may bring Waswaas (obsessive whisperings) to the heart, which could lead to bad consequences.

It should be noted that divorce is not the only solution to solving marital problems. Rather, the spouses should not resort to divorce unless its benefit outweighs its harm. Due to the harms caused by divorce, some scholars stated that in principle divorce is prohibited.

Ibn Qudaamah said in Al-Mughni, "Divorce without a need is disliked. Al-Qaadhi said, 'There are two narrations regarding divorce without a need: One narration is that it is prohibited because it is harmful to himself (the husband) and to his wife, and it terminates the benefit of marriage for both of them without a reason, so it is prohibited, just like wasting money, and because the Prophet  said, 'There should be no harm and no reciprocal harm.''"

Ibn 'Aabideen, from the Hanafi School, said in his Haashiyah:

"In principle, divorce is forbidden, meaning that it is forbidden except if there is a reason that makes it permissible. This is what the scholars meant by saying: In principle divorce is prohibited. The permissibility is due to the need to put an end to the problems. So if there is no sound reason for it at all, then there is no need for putting an end to problems; rather, in this case, it would be foolishness and ungratefulness for the bounties of Allah. It is pure harm towards the wife, her family, and her children. It is for this reason that they said: The reason for divorce is the need for solution and putting an end to the problems when there is conflict of character and hatred that makes the spouses unable to fulfill their rights upon each other, which Allah commanded … When it is devoid of the need that makes it permissible, it remains upon its principle, which is that it is prohibited. It is for this reason that Allah says (what means): {But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them.} [Quran 4:34], i.e. do not ask for separation."

Allah knows best.

-islamweb.net