In Islam, why do wives have to respect their husbands the most (instead of their parents)

For a Muslim women her husband is more worthy of obedience then her parents... This does not mean that a women outright disobeys her parents rather it means that if something that her husband dislike is brought up or asked of her by her parents then she should obey her husband and not her parents.

So if for example her husband dislikes a particular relative and tells her not to visit them while her parents ask her to she must refuse her parents and obey her husband. Also there is a wiser way to approach this obligation by showing obedience to your husband and then later asking him to explain why he differed against your parents wish. A lot of men are decent and do not force their wives against their parents wishes, a few of those who do may have a good reason for it.

Obedience is concerned only till halal matters not in things against the shariah, for example of a husband asks his wife to remove hijab. While her father suggest against it. In such a case the wife should adhere to shariah and refuse her husband's wish, she has to put Allah and his orders before anyone else.

The crux of this particular obligation as far as my understanding is that a husband is the protector and life long companion of a women , any disagreement or disobedience from the wife side may damage their relationship and have negative effects on their (household) children.

Parents are out lived by most of us they are a treasure but they too understand their limits and freedom as per Allah command.

As far as the man duty to obey his parents is concerned, he is a care taker of his parents which in case of women she is not. The care and responsibility of parents fall on him. Their sons in old age and so this is a must for a man to be dutiful and obedient to his parents. Again this do not mean that a women, should not be dutiful to her parents, rather she should be more careful of her time with them since it is less then that of men (when she only can visit her parents in a while).

So in the end this obligation is one of the tests that Allah has put on the married couple. Through as they are sensitive from both their husbands and parents sides and if a women is successful in balancing her life between the two she is guaranteed jannah. -mk