Question
I have a friend who is a newlywed. She is having serious intamacy problems with her husband. She was raped repeatedly for a period of about two years and it has left her frigid and scared about sex. I know that a woman is required to satisfy her husband in the bedroom, but in situations such as this, is he required to be patient while she works through this or is she required to fulfill his desires even if it means that her problem could get worse? What is the ruling on this?
Answer
It would be a very harsh and selfish man who is only interested in achieving his own sexual pleasure without any consideration for his wife’s feelings. It would be miserable of him not to put up some effort or even bear some suffering for the sake of his wife. He should help her to overwhelm her problems and her bad experience.
What that woman had suffered is not easy at all. Thus, the standard of treatment that she is entitled to from her husband is a high one. Since the husband is the closest person to this woman, he should be the most sympathetic towards her, because he should best know and understand her problem. He should be the most concerned of all people to help her heal and to return to a normal frame of mind.
If the husband understands his wife’s problem, he would excuse her when he finds her cold and not interested in sexual intercourse.
Even as she improves, she will be in need of more tenderness and sensitivity in her intimate life that other women will require. She needs to forget the past which could come back into her mind if she is engaged in fast and abrupt intercourse, without sufficient care and affection.
I would like to tell this man that he will, with Allah’s help, reach all the pleasure he is looking for from his wife if he shows more tenderness and affection towards her. He should not force her to bed. He should be patient and help his wife to overcome her suffering.
This is only part of the solution for this woman’s problem. She may have to see a psychologist. Even in that, she will need her husband’s support.
What that woman had suffered is not easy at all. Thus, the standard of treatment that she is entitled to from her husband is a high one. Since the husband is the closest person to this woman, he should be the most sympathetic towards her, because he should best know and understand her problem. He should be the most concerned of all people to help her heal and to return to a normal frame of mind.
If the husband understands his wife’s problem, he would excuse her when he finds her cold and not interested in sexual intercourse.
Even as she improves, she will be in need of more tenderness and sensitivity in her intimate life that other women will require. She needs to forget the past which could come back into her mind if she is engaged in fast and abrupt intercourse, without sufficient care and affection.
I would like to tell this man that he will, with Allah’s help, reach all the pleasure he is looking for from his wife if he shows more tenderness and affection towards her. He should not force her to bed. He should be patient and help his wife to overcome her suffering.
This is only part of the solution for this woman’s problem. She may have to see a psychologist. Even in that, she will need her husband’s support.
And Allah knows best.
-islamtoday.net
No comments:
Post a Comment