Islam

Islam

Thursday 31 December 2015

Dealing with Stress : Why Me?

oze288

There is relief in knowing that although we may be stressed and unhappy we know that it's part of God's plan.

Everyone feels stressed at times.

But there are periods in our lives when we feel particularly overwhelmed with tension. And during these periods we can feel really awful and have highly unpleasant stress symptoms to deal with.

In essence, stress, worry and sadness are part and parcel of human life and part of being human. It is a normal human emotion that more or less all human beings experience in different phases in their lives.

Whether it is the exams approaching for those still in school or college, job hunting, financial pressure, mother worries (believe me there is a ton of that) or the looming work interview it is without doubt that we may become bogged down and discouraged in life's problems.

Worry is the opposite of faith, while nobody is judging, it's important to realize that worry steals our peace, physically wears us out, and can even make us sick. When we worry, we torment ourselves and those around us as we're doing the devil's job for him.Worry being like a rocking chair always in motion never gets us anywhere; actually it gets us nowhere fast. So why do we struggle with it? And what good does it do?

Worry is caused by not trusting God to take care of the various situations in our lives. As Muslims we are taught to stress less and trust more by praying to God when we feel we are lost.

Too often we trust our own abilities, believing that we can figure out how to take care of our own problems. Yet sometimes, after all our worry and effort to do it alone, we come up short, unable to bring about suitable solutions.

Sometimes the pressure coming from peers, family, work, and society in general is enough to make us feel completely broken inside.  If we don’t have the 'right' job, relationship, lifestyle, and so forth, by a certain age or timeframe, we assume we’re just 'not good enough'.

It's during these times of worry and stress that we as Muslims will find comfort in turning to God and simply opening His book. By reading how our Prophets also suffered from worry and stress we find comfort in knowing they shared our experiences; they shared our fears.

One beautiful group of verses I personally find offers instant relief is Surat Al-Duha. By reading it and feeling it we find peace, hope, and a renewed faith in God when we go through states of depression, stress, sadness, and hopelessness.

This is a very powerful verse from God telling us that He doesn’t hate us and hasn’t forgotten us
The Quran reads:

{Your Lord has not taken leave of you, nor has He detested [you].} (93:3)

This is a very powerful verse from God telling us that He doesn’t hate us and hasn’t forgotten us reminding us that He is always by our side. Also the Quranic verse:

{It is he who makes you laugh and cry.} (53:43)

There is relief in knowing that although we may be stressed and unhappy, we know that it's part of God's plan while we may not realize and understand why. We must remember that no human being is burdened with trouble and difficulties they cannot bear. This means that the human being can bear many unthinkable burdens that one initially feels that they cannot tolerate.

How many times in your life, especially before tests did you feel you cannot take it anymore, but you lived through it?

Backtrack on the pressures of high school, college and work, how many of us went through great difficulties but lived through it and survived?

Deadlines, projects and other stress triggering factors leave us drained but we are blessed with the knowledge that these stresses are what make us today the person we are.

When we go through difficult periods, and are struck by bad times, it brings out the real humanness in us, and we begin to ask the very questions that are most fundamental to us: “Why are we here? What is the purpose of life, why me, what happened to all my plans and dreams? We then learn the frailty of our humanness.

OK, so in a moment of honesty, have you ever sat back and thought why not me?

I know I have or at least should have more often. I am guilty as charged drowning in the 'why me,' in the unfairness of whatever calamity and stressful case I happened to be facing and wallow in the idea of bad things happening to good people. Assuming of course I'm a good person and don’t deserve to be stressed or worrying.

everything is written and with this we must feel comforted
I always feared being a ‘why person’.

Sometimes we get really hooked into 'why me' mode, and it just eats away at every fiber of our core why can’t our tests be easy, why are things so hard, why, why, why.

Questions like why did it happen and the emotions of stress, turning into grief, anger, bitterness, and resentment along with the dance in our head and the ache in our heart will keep circling and banging into the walls of our brain contributing further to our stress if we don’t learn to keep this constant worry under control.

We sometimes forget very important factors; firstly, everything is written and with this we must feel comforted, and secondly if we face stress and discomfort there will always be ease after this hardship.

Furthermore, Muslims are comforted with the thought that depending on how we face our challenges we will be rewarded accordingly. In fact the way we respond to a challenge may also be a type of stress contributing further to the sense of discomfort we are facing.

There is a level of comfort in knowing however that without worry we would lose purpose with no opportunities for personal, professional and spiritual growth; it sorts of keeps us alert.I have after all these years realized that it is difficult to grow when we are in our comfort zone. Many of us prefer to stay here because we don’t want to experience the stress and anxiety of discomfort. But by doing so, we limit our potential for growth. So maybe stress isn’t all bad after all (of course in small and controlled doses).

The reality is that we need to embrace our healthy share of uncomfortable experiences in this life. Acknowledging this, we need to find a way to face them, shall it be a flight or fight response, in short how do we embrace stress and growing through the process. Remember what won’t kill us will make us stronger even if the stress is overwhelming.

Trust Allah

When times are tough, we need to remind ourselves that no pain comes without a purpose




Too much stress though is caused by not trusting God to take care of the various situations in our lives.

Unfortunately and too often, we fall into the trap of trusting our own abilities, believing that we can figure out how to take care of our own problems in trying to overcome the anxiety resulting sadly in more stress.

It is here that we need to realize that only through God and trust can we ever dream to overcome the abovementioned stress and worry.

Bear in mind that everything will come together, maybe not immediately, but gradually; in God's time. When times are tough, we need to remind ourselves that no pain comes without a purpose.

Move on from what hurt you, but never forget what it taught. Pain through stress and worry, as mentioned before, is part of growing.

Remember that there are two kinds of stress: stress that affects us and pain that changes us. When we roll with life, instead of resisting it, both kinds help us grow. The Quran teaches us:

{With difficulty comes ease.} (94:6)

Hence, facing discomfort in this life is inevitable; what is important is how we view this discomfort and respond to it. If a moment of discomfort brings us closer to God, is that not a sign of growth? It is essential to also mention here that God will never burden you with more than you can handle, as taught to us in the Quran when He says:

{Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear.} (2:286)

Finally, remember that every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace. We can choose to be miserable and believe me with the way things are in the world we will be able to find plenty of reasons to be miserable or we can choose to be peaceful and find plenty of reasons to be at peace. Think about it.  Are we skilled at making ourselves miserable? With those same skills we can make ourselves motivated, effective and fulfilled.
If need be, give yourself no other choice. In fact, achievement consists mostly of adopting this stance.

You are more than good enough; you just have to own it – you have to own everything you are and everything you’re up against.

If you believe your troubles are too powerful, then you’ll never allow yourself to rise above them. Stop fretting. Quit worrying. Don’t complain. You know what you must do. So do it. The floor is yours, to be or not to be.

Equipped with this and the knowledge that God helps those who help themselves, we will definitely overcome stress and garner points through the process as we renew our intentions with our ultimate goal in mind, Paradise. -onislam.net

No comments:

Post a Comment