In recognizing the gravity of the sin and expressing the desire to improve oneself.
Feeling remorse over one’s sins, however, is only the first and foremost step toward repentance; it must be followed up by further measures, which are equally essential steps towards repentance.
Without such steps, repentance is mistaken simply for uttering words such as O Allah, forgive me, or I ask forgiveness of Allah. Unless a person sincerely and earnestly tries to change himself for the better and make amends, it is merely wishful thinking.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “A wise person is he who subdues his passions and strives for the life after death, whereas a foolish person follows his passions and yet vainly hopes for God’s mercy.” (At-Tirmidhi)
Sincere repentance involves, besides feeling genuine remorse over one’s sins, refraining from the sin and from all associations, activities, or circumstances that led a person to such sins in the first place. It should include shunning bad company or friends, watching movies, pornographic scenes, or literature, mingling and mixing with members of the opposite sex, etc.
The next important step towards repentance is to make a firm resolution never to return to sins again. That is possible only if a person immediately becomes preoccupied with what is good and beneficial.
Imam Ash-Shafi`i rightly said, “If a person does not focus his mind on good thoughts and deeds, he will inevitably be preoccupied with bad thoughts and bad deeds.”
So, find some beneficial project or work you can occupy yourself with so that your mind does not wander to unlawful diversions.
Once we have repented earnestly and sincerely, Allah will forgive us. Allah says, {O My servants who have wronged their souls, do not despair of Allah’s mercy, for most certainly, Allah forgives all sins.} (Az-Zumar 39:53)
While describing the conditions for receiving God’s mercy, Allah says, {Except those who repent, and cherish true faith, and do good works, for such are the ones whose bad deeds will be transformed into good deeds, and verily, God is all-Forgiving and all-Merciful.” (Al-Furqan 25:70)
In other words, repentance is granted to those who follow the requisite conditions of repentance.
Almighty Allah knows best.
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