Marriage is such a big decision that brings many changes in life. Of course you feel anxious; I would say this is totally normal.
Good Signs
It is really a good sign that your father accepts him and is planning your engagement.
You said you also liked him when you met, you feel a kind of attachment to him, even after praying istikhara.
Sister, there are all indications, inshallah, that you are on the right track!
What worries you? What are the exact thoughts in your head when you feel anxious? What are you afraid of?
And what could you do to calm these worrisome thoughts that cause trouble in your heart?
Perhaps you’d like to ask him some more questions? Or get to know him better? I would dig a bit deeper into this through journaling.
Journaling
Take a notebook or a piece of paper and start writing out all your feelings and thoughts. Inshallah, it usually brings clarity and peace.
One thing is to have thoughts in your mind; another is to see them on a piece of paper. I highly encourage you to do this exercise.
Moreover, keep doing it every day. Journaling is such a powerful tool for understanding ourselves. Inshallah, it will help you calm down and see everything clearly.
Counseling
If you feel the thoughts still bother you excessively, I would encourage you to seek help from a professional. Even About Islam provides counseling services.
Maybe you would like to talk through your worries with a psychologist—there is no shame in it. It would be better than entering into a marriage with all kinds of excessive fears.
Turn to Allah
At the same time, I encourage you to turn to Allah. Complain to Him about your worries in your duas.
He is the only One who can change hearts and help you have peace. Tell him what bothers you and what you are afraid of, and ask Him to help you.
Pray Istikhara
I would also encourage you to pray istikhara and see what life brings to you.The answer of istikhara comes through events in life that either facilitate or block the issue you made istikhara about.
Walk with open eyes.
Prepare for marriage
The third thing I would encourage you to do is prepare for marriage.
There are many great books and courses online that would help the two of you enter into such a sacred bond with a clear mind and an attached heart. Maybe you want to enroll together so that this also brings you together.
May Allah calm your heart and bless your marriage, insha’Allah.
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall MyISLAM or AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
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