Fell in Love Through Social Media

Question

I seek your advice concerning a complicated situation. If a girl met an honest man and exchanged some emails with him in which he expressed that he is fond of her and that he is willing to continue his life with her. She was in an unenviable whether to tell her family that she fall in love with a man from outside the family or to continue with the man whom she cannot ever forget but she asked her sister to tell her mother about the man`s proposal. Now she has some questions: can she fabricate a story in front of people so that no one knows that she met him over the social media? Can she discuss the matters with him before he meets her father? How should they estimate the dowry and the other matters since he is from a different culture?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  is His slave and Messenger.

If you mean by “fabricate a story” making up a story and lying about it and saying something that is contrary to the reality, then this is not permissible because lying is a great sin and the Sharee'ah warned us against it. 'Abdullaah ibn Mas'ood  narrated that the Prophet said: "Beware of lying, for lying leads to vice (wickedness and evil-doing), and vice leads to the Hellfire. A man continues to tell lies and persists on lying till he is written before Allah as a liar." [Muslim]

Nonetheless, it is possible to resort to Tawriyah when needed to avoid lying. For definition of Tawriyah.

On the other hand, it is permissible for a woman to talk to a non-Mahram (marriageable) man when needed, provided that the Islamic conditions are met. But it is better to avoid this as a way of warding off evil; and if there is a need for this, then it should be done in the presence of one of her male Mahrams (non-marriageable).

The dowry is determined by agreement and consent between both spouses or between the husband and the wife's guardian whether their cultures differ or not.

It is recommended in the Sunnah to set a low dowry and to facilitate the marriage as these are reasons for the marriage to be blessed. 'Aa'ishah  narrated that the Prophet  said: "Among the signs of that a woman is blessed is when her engagement is facilitated, her dowry is affordable, and she is fertile." [Ahmad]

We did not understand what is meant by "the man whom she cannot ever forget". However, we advise her to choose a religious man who has a good moral character.

A man said to Al-Hasan Al-Basri : "A number of suitors proposed to marry my daughter, so to whom should I give her in marriage?" He said: "Marry her off to the one who fears Allah; if he loves her, he will honor her, and if he dislikes her, he will not wrong her."

Additionally, she must bear in mind that a marriage which results from mere online chatting and the like, may be doomed to failure because of not knowing the state and condition of the suitor. Also, the difference of cultures may have negative effects that lead to the separation of the spouses because, in general, harmony and understanding is difficult.

In conclusion, if Allah facilitated her marriage to this man, then all the best, otherwise she must stop every kind of relationship and communication with him because it is not permissible for a woman to have an emotional relationship with a non-Mahram man. Taking boyfriends or girlfriends was a practice of Jaahiliyyah (Pre-Islamic Era of Ignorance) and Islam abolished it.

Allah Says (what means): {[They should be] chaste, neither [of] those who commit unlawful intercourse randomly nor those who take [secret] lovers.} [Quran 4:25]

Allah knows best. -islamweb.net