A Call for Harmony and Cordiality Between the Spouses

Marital happiness resembles the honey produced by two bees; the greater their efforts are, the sweeter it will be. There is ‎no doubt that marital happiness is the ‎responsibility of both spouses and this necessitates the existence of ‎love between them.‎

At the same time, we say that the happy house does not only depend on ‎love, but also the spirit of tolerance must be present. Marriage in the sight of Islam means psychological tranquility, spiritual comfort, and heartfelt harmony as well as cooperation between the two spouses to make the permanent journey of life together.

The Quran describes the marital relationship in the most eloquent way saying (what means): {And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.} [Quran 30:21]

This affection and cordiality can solve any problem, and there will be problems between lovers who love each other sincerely, and not just because of personal interests.

This is a call for cordiality and love between the spouses and a call for overlooking faults.

How can we achieve cordiality and harmony between the spouses?

We can achieve cordiality and harmony through the following stages:

- Kind mutual frankness has a magical influence on marital life.

- Ask your wife to sit next to you and embrace her along with giving her looks and touches that express your love and longing for her. Treat your wife kindly and she will do the same to you. Make her feel that you favor her over yourself and that you are keen on making her happy and maintain her health. Let her know that you sacrifice for her sake when she is sick, for example.

- Play with your wife and joke with her to arouse her feelings and emotions towards you. Learn from the Prophet  who said: “It is better to marry a virgin who plays with you and you play with her.”[Al-Bukhari]

- Even ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, who was an example of seriousness and prudence said, “One should be like a boy among his family [i.e. in terms of cordiality and kindness], but when he deals with the people, he should be a man.”

- The wife should receive her husband heartily after adorning herself and applying good perfume.

- Look at the faults of your husband with the eyes of a lover, because this will make you see his mistakes as trivial faults.

- Be quiet when your husband gets angry and later speak with him about what he did and rebuke him cordially.

- I advise the husband to always be calm and avoid anger, because anger causes hatred. If you have wronged your wife, apologize to her, and never spend a night while you are angry with her or with her shedding tears. Always remember that what made you angry is only a trivial matter that does not deserve to disturb your marital life. Seek refuge with Allah The Almighty from the accursed devil and try to be calm. Always bear in mind that the bonds of love between you and your wife are too pure to be blemished by a temporary outrage.

- Dear wife, keep yourself busy with satisfying your husband to receive what pleases you. A Bedouin woman said to her daughter, “Be his bondmaid, and he will be your slave.”
Umm Salamah, may Allah be pleased with her, reported that the Messenger of Allah  said: "Any woman who dies while her husband is pleased with her will enter Paradise.” [At-Tirmithi]

- Always call him “My darling” and tell him that you love him, because this is not for lovers but rather for spouses.

- If you are a working woman, do not allow the problems of work disturb the relationship between you and your husband. Leave all the problems associated with your work in your workplace and return home without any concerns.

- Dear husband, if you dislike anything in your wife, remember her good qualities to get rid of any bad feelings towards her. Remember the Hadeeth in which the Prophet  said: “A believer should not hate a believing woman (i.e., his wife); if he dislikes one of her characteristics he would be pleased with another.” 
So, try to overlook the negative aspects in the personality of your wife and remember that she has many other good aspects to make up for this negative aspect.

- Make your wife feel that she is safe and you will never let her down or abandon her.

- Deal with your wife’s behavior and mistakes with forbearance and away from any hostile behavior.

- Do not insult your wife because insults would be deeply engraved in your wife’s heart and mind. The most dangerous abuses that may not be forgiven by your wife are to lose your temper and beat her or curse her family or raise doubts about her chastity.

- “You are a wonderful woman, but….” Avoid this style of praise, because your wife will forget everything and only remember the “but”.

Here, we want to pose the following question: Do harmony and cordiality between the spouses affect the life of the family members?

To answer this question, we should mention the importance of cordiality and harmony in the life of the family:

- Harmony strengthens the relationship between the man and woman and increases the husband’s wish to get close to his wife.

- Harmony and cordiality refreshes the marital life and renews the love of the spouses every day.

- It increases the husband’s respect for the family of his wife and vice versa.

- Harmony and cordiality spread tranquility in the house.

- Harmony makes both spouses realize their roles in the true sense of the word as a husband and a father for the man and as a wife and a mother for the woman.

- Harmony and cordiality renew the faith-boosting environment in the home, refine the souls and strengthen the relationship with Allah The Almighty.

- Harmony and cordiality improve the relationship between the spouses and their friends and relatives.

- Harmony and cordiality enable the parents to treat the problems of the children wisely and calmly away from hostility and anger.

- Harmony and cordiality improve the psychological stability of the children and their relationship with and attachment to their parents. In this way, they will seek help and support from their parents when they face any problem.

- Harmony and cordiality decrease the amount of disagreements with the children and achieve mutual understanding between children and parents. Likewise, the children’s educational achievements will improve.

May Allah The Almighty provide all Muslim families with the harmony to lead happy lives. -islamweb.net

Factors Affecting Physical Growth in Children

There is no doubt that different aspects of the human personality are integrated and affect each other. They constitute a cohesive unit and cannot be separated except in the field of theoretical study. From the time a person is born until he fully grows up, the different elements of his formation interact and affect each other, sometimes evidently and at other times in a hidden way, owing to the close relationship between the soul and the body. The soul affects the body and the body affects the soul. They are not separated from each other. Therefore, the growth of the body affects the other aspects of growth: mental, psychological and social, and it is affected by them.

Growth of the body and the effect of the psychological and social atmosphere:

Physical growth is affected by the psychological and social atmosphere in which youngsters live with their families and also by nervous tension, as well as emotions and anxieties. The physical growth of youngsters might be afflicted with some diseases and ailments, which have a neural and psychological origin and yet affect the biological and physiological functions of the body and hinder physical growth. Pedagogical researches proved that anxiety is detrimental to the general health of individuals and to their digestive system, blood circulation and sleep. If anxiety and fear persist, leading to system disorder for a long period of time, then they will slow down the process of physical growth.

The effect of mental growth on physical growth:

The broader the mental faculties of an individual and the more he grows, understands and comprehends, the more he adopts healthy methods pertaining to nutrition, cleanliness, and preventive and curative health habits. In other words, he develops his sound health awareness in such a way that he maintains the health of his body, caring for it, protecting and treating it in case of ailments. This guarantees him better growth and integration of the bodily functions.

The effect of physical growth on other aspects is certain:

There is no doubt that health, strength, good growth and physical fitness contribute directly or indirectly to the mental development of an individual, to the integrity of his personality and his success in life. They confirm the famous Latin saying “a healthy mind in a healthy body” as being a general health rule that is evident in our lives. This is because the source of human happiness lies in the integrity of mind and body together. An individual who suffers from diseases, feebleness and a weak body cannot benefit from his intelligence and mental abilities because he is disabled by his sickness and ailments.

Intelligence tests confirm the theory:

Many researches indicate that intelligence is linked with the soundness of one's physical constitution. In his book about intelligence and diseases, Sandwick measured the intelligence of 423 students and chose the forty students who were proved by experiment as having the highest rates of intelligence. He subjected the forty students to a comprehensive medical examination and found that 52 percent of the brilliant students had no physical disabilities. In the meantime, none of the forty students with below average intelligence were like that.

In this sense, while seeking to form an integrated Muslim personality, we should concentrate on the growth of the body and physical upbringing. By means of sound bodies, the children’s mind open, their insight is illumined and they get rid of boredom. Likewise, anxiety and sadness are removed, and Satan retreats. There is a strong relation between the righteous child, whom we talked about before, and the active athletic child, whom we seek. The righteous child is athletic, because paying attention to the body, nutrition and upbringing strikes the core of faith.

The noble Sunnah (Prophetic tradition) emphasizes the necessity of caring about the body. It assigns rights towards the body, on the grounds of the importance of health, comfort of the body and its good growth, in the life of man, his happiness and ability to undertake his duties as well as obligations related to the world and the Hereafter. In addition, the Sunnah realizes that mental, psychological and social growth is linked with physical growth. No wonder, the body is the bowl of the brain, the frame of the soul and beauty where the powers of the soul interact, and the body is also the means of achieving one’s purposes and wishes. Therefore, due care must be paid to the body.

It was narrated on the authority of ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Amr ibn Al-‘Aas, may Allah be pleased with him, that he quoted the Messenger of Allah  as saying: “‘O Abdullah. Is it true that you fast during the day and pray during the night as I have been informed?’ ‘Abdullah said, ‘Yes, Messenger of Allah.’ He said: ‘Do not do that. Fast and break fast, pray at night and sleep, because your body has a right over you, your eyes have a right over you and your spouse has a right over you.’” [Al-Bukhari]

Following is the research plan and steps to success on our way to raising an athletic child, or to how to raise your children physically so that you can make them athletic children.

• Developing sound nutritional awareness

• Encouraging them to pay attention to the methods of personal cleanliness

• Inviting them to take care of their physical fitness

• Encouraging them to relax when feeling exhausted

• Guiding them towards beneficial means of recreation

• Encouraging them to have an interest in the methods of hygiene

• Encouraging them to be careful about the methods of sound medical treatment

• Stressing the act of investing the strength, capabilities and energies of the body in a fruitful manner -islamweb.net

Your Angry Child is not Aggressive – II

(Continued)

Anger is a psychological state and an emotional phenomenon that the child feels in the early days of his life and that accompany him in all the stages of his life till death. As long as know that anger is an inherent behavior in man since his birth, it is wrong to consider anger as an objectionable phenomenon and a bad emotional condition. This is because when Allah The Almighty created man and inserted his instincts, tendencies and feelings in him, this was done for a great wisdom and an obvious social interest.

The benefits of anger include protection of life, religion, honor and the Muslim state from the evil plots of the aggressors and colonialists. Without this phenomenon that Allah The Almighty installed in man, the Muslim would not become angry when the sacred ordinances of Allah are violated, His religion abused, or enemies attempt to seize man's land and wealth. Although many sociologists and educationists consider anger a reprehensible vice and dispraised habit, they only really mean the reprehensible anger that leads to the worst results and the gravest consequences in life. This happens when a person becomes angry and agitated for his personal interests and selfish motives, and it is obvious that this anger causes disunity, disintegrates the community and eradicates the meanings of brotherhood, love and purity throughout the society.

Causes of anger

Since we have acknowledged that anger is an innate phenomenon and natural behavior in children, we need to know the causes which irritate children so that this knowledge will serve as a first step in guiding children towards suppressing and controlling their anger. There are three important emotions that arouse the child's anger: provocation, frustration and injustice. Let us see some examples for each feeling.

Provocation

• Someone steals my ball.
• Someone stands in front of me in the line.
• My sister plays with my toy without my permission.
• Someone makes fun of me because I am overweight.
• My friend breaks his promises.

Frustration

• I cannot find a solution to this mathematical equation.
• I cannot get any help from the teacher.
• I fail to score points in tennis.
• I want to be a friend to someone but he does not want to be my friend.

Injustice

• I am usually overlooked when they select the team.
• My parents will not let me stay late outside as I want.
• I am always accused of cheating while I do not do it at all.
• The test is very difficult.
• I scored the ball correctly, but it was considered a foul.
[The power of positive talk, Douglas Block]

These are the from the child’s point of view, but then there are motives on the part of the one assuming the nurturing process which we may call "motives of anger".

If hunger is the motive and cause of anger, you should seek to feed the child at the due time. This is because neglecting nutrition leads to physical diseases and psychological emotions.

If illness is the motive and cause of anger, you should seek to treat the child medically and prepare him to be healthy.

If unnecessary blame and reproach of the child are the motives and causes of anger, you should not use words of abasement and humiliation lest psychological defects and angry emotions take root in the child's psychology.

If the child's imitation of his parents in anger is the motive and cause of anger, parents should set a good example in forgiveness, patience and self-control during fits of anger.

If excessive cuddling and luxury are the motives and causes of anger, you should be moderate in your love for your children and be normal in showing them mercy and financially supporting them.

If mockery, ridicule, and name calling are the motives and causes of anger, you should avoid these raging causes so that the phenomenon of anger is not rooted in the psyche of the child.

How do we teach our children to control their anger?

It is a mistake that we punish the child when he expresses his anger in an inappropriate way unless we have taught him how to express his feelings and how to be angry. The innocent child does not know these rules and principles, and remains ignorant of them till we guide, refine and alert him. Here are some tips to help you with this task:

1. Help your child to link his feelings with their causes, and talk to him to find out what made him angry along with showing him support.

2. Let him know that we listen to his feelings and accept them. Tell him, "You are right to be upset because I did not listen to you. Now, I am listening to you".

3. Tell him directly that hitting is not an acceptable way to deal with anger, informing him of the negative consequences of each case of anger.

4. Assist him to say what he wants; he will often begin to sob and complain about what disturbs him. He, for example, will say "Hind took my toy," then say to him, "Go to her and ask her to return it to you. Tell her that the toy is yours and that you want it."

5. Be a good role model to him. When you are angry, say it out loud and explain the cause of your anger before it turns into suppressed anger.

6. Persistently teach him to use words to express his anger instead of expressing it with actions. Teach the child to say loudly, "I am angry," or, "You are bothering me" instead of resorting to profanity or physical violence. Let him feel that you are upset at seeing him upset and are ready to help him.

7. Expressing the child's feelings keeps him away from the chaos of angry feelings.

8. Show your feelings and talk about them quietly in the moments of satisfaction and anger and in the spiritual moments that he shares with you and in which he expresses his feelings.

9. Encourage your child to write down the feelings that he cannot express. Writing helps man express what is inside him easily.

10. Do not forget that expressing their feelings gives children a clearer, more stable and happier character.

11. We should not make the child suppress his feelings or reject them, even if they are simple, such as his feeling of sadness due to the loss of his toy or story. We should not underestimate his internal feelings and we have to encourage him to demonstrate them. For example, it is wrong to say to the child, "You cannot be tired because you have only just woken up," or "Why did you hit him? He seems to be a nice child," or "Shortly your stress will die down." No matter how sincere these pieces of advice are, they implicitly censure his feelings. Accordingly, he will try to adopt our feelings, that is, to force him to mistrust his personal feelings.

12. Train your child to accept some defeats and frustrations with a sporting spirit.

13. Fasten a notice in which it is written: "Our motto is the saying of the Prophet  'Do not be angry.'"

14. Teach them the manners of the Prophet  in anger, like making ablution, changing the position of the angry person from sitting, standing, or lying down, and performing prayer. We should adhere to these manners ourselves so that the children would imitate us.

15. Explain the verses and Hadeeths talking about the mercy and forbearance of the Prophet  by reading his Seerah (biography) as well as the life and sayings of the righteous predecessors.

16. Pass a house-rule which bans expressing anger in insults or hitting. - islamweb.net

READ PART 1 - Your Angry Child is not Aggressive – I

Your Angry Child is not Aggressive – I

Mother: Wait…wait! Why are you quarrelling?

Son: He hit me first.

His brother: No, it is he who hit me first.

Son: He took my toy.

His brother: No, it is he who does not want to give me my toy.

Mother (yelling): Stop…stop. I am sick of this headache. Give me the toy. None of you will take it till you learn that you should not hit one another.

Dear parent, the mother in this situation might say that her children are aggressive, but we tell her, "O kind mother, wait. Who told you that this is aggression? It seems that you do not know the real meaning of aggression." She would respond, "Look how the children are fighting." The convincing response to that would be, "The first son hit the second because the second had taken the toy from the first, and the second hit the first because the first had not given the toy to the second. So, both became angry and had the right to do so. Both of them are right and have to be angry in similar situations.”

What a strange child is the one who does not get angry!

Dear parent, this is a fact that must be present in our minds while we are raising our children. It is a fact that we nurture people with a single thing in mind, which is the aspect of human perfection that only Prophet Muhammad  achieved. We have to be realistic and logical while we are nurturing our children. We are not pursuing idealism; we pursue distinction in the field of reality because we are human beings and raising human beings. We are not angels nor are we raising angels. Therefore, we do not seek a child who is totally free of aggression. It is necessary to admit that there is an amount of aggression within us before it exists in our children – and this is the anger that the Islamic Shari‘ah corrects, limits and directs to what pleases Allah The Almighty and His Messenger . Thus, the Quran teaches us to say what is best. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {And tell My servants to say that which is best. Indeed, Satan induces [dissension] among them. Indeed Satan is ever, to mankind, a clear enemy.} [Quran 17:53]

The purified Sunnah also teaches us to avoid anger and to control ourselves in times of anger. It was narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayrah  that a man once asked the Prophet  for advice. The Prophet  said: "Do not be angry." He, sallallaahu ‘Alayhi wa sallam, repeated this many times. [Al-Bukhari]

The Noble Quran and the purified Sunnah have clarified that there is an amount of anger created in the souls; yet, the role of purification of the soul comes to execute this anger in obedience to Allah The Almighty as curbing anger is an act of obedience to Allah The Almighty too. We do not mean by "natural anger” that it is permissible and does not require guidance from parents to children. We mean that this anger, which needs to be adjusted, guided, altered, and cooled by this guidance and nurturing, is not sufficient grounds for us to describe our children as aggressive. How strange is the child who does not get angry! How strange is the man who does not get angry!

The child that never gets angry can never be considered normal

Anger is not simply an emotional conduct that we must learn how to guide and direct. It is also an educational key to recognize normal children from abnormal ones, and children who have attained maturity and those who have not yet. When anger is expressed appropriately, this would be a normal reaction. The child who never gets angry cannot be considered normal. Violent agitation for any reason is an issue that the child has to be guided to avoid, noting that anger which is suppressed day after day for fear of punishment will inevitably be accumulated and maximize till it explodes in a destructive and aggressive way. The child who cannot express his anger, however, does not have limitations, and people will treat him disrespectfully. Furthermore, he is less likely to say no to the pressure of his peers as he grows older. Suppressing anger brings about other negative consequences. A psychological consultant once asked a group of children what happens when anger is released:

Consultant: Do you discharge your anger in space?

Children: No

Consultant: So, where is this charge released?

Children: It is released inside you.

Consultant: What happens when you do not express your anger?

Children: One would perhaps commit a foolish action or feel dreadful at least.

It is rare to find a child who does not get angry, and when there is one, we have to make sure that he is normal. Perhaps this marks a slowdown in his development or maturity. The child expresses his anger during the first years in unguided actions because his instinct of violence is not sufficiently developed. Therefore, the child expresses his anger by shouting, throwing himself on the ground, jumping or kicking. After the age of four, these ways of expression diminish and he starts using words or threats to express his anger. The level of anger is not the same in all children, and their degree of satisfaction also varies from one child to another in length and speed.

Thus, the instinct to fight resulting from anger is not aggression.

It is established through experimental observation that agitation of anger is one of the innate neurological and psychological preparations born with humans and animals. Man, young or old, becomes angry in certain situations. So do animals when put in a situation that would provoke their anger. The existence of barriers between man and the fulfillment of his desire for gratification or satisfaction provokes his anger, and when anger is provoked, fighting becomes the automatic method of expressing it. Fighting includes directing all the forces of the individual to remove the obstacles facing him and eliminate them.

To this extent, we cannot describe fighting as aggression, because it is an automatic behavior stemming from an innate tendency to achieve a human need, and is directed to overcome the obstacle put forward by the surrounding environment. So, although we are born with an innate tendency to fight, there is a big difference between the tendency to fight and the tendency to be aggressive.

We can learn through proper social upbringing to become angry and fight to defend one's right if someone tries to deny or usurp it. Similarly, we can become angry and fight for the sake of implementing good morals, such as supporting the oppressed. We should differentiate between the behavior in which a youngster quarrels or fights to defend himself and the behavior in which he is aggressive. Naturally, the child encounters some situations in which he is obliged to defend himself, to ward off aggression by others, or to get rid of an enemy or an evil threatening him. All these are normal situations in man's life and cannot be described as aggression. It is noteworthy that these situations evoke the emotion of anger in man. In other words, man becomes angry when he is insulted, his properties are usurped, or he sees an evil action committed in front of him. Anger and the tendency to fight are normal behavior in children during the early stages of childhood; however, when these symptoms remain with the child at an advanced age and take on a violent form, they would be due to lack of proper adjustment. In a study conducted on 239 children between the ages of two and seven, it was found that:

• 28.9% of these children suffer from being easily provoked and feeling bored quickly.

• 15.7% were suffering from harshness and aggression.

• 11.3% were suffering from frequent stubborn and infantile behavior. The more these symptoms tend to remain constant after the age of five, the more they become an indication of the possible existence of behavioral problems in the youngster.
•
(To be continued) -islamweb.net

Marrying after haram relationship

Question

Assalaamualaikum. I have been severly suffering, and I ask God to make you a reason to help me out. I used to be in a haram relation with this girl when I was a teenager (it included so much sins) until God guided me to the right path and I started quitting alot of sins and repenting until it was time to end this relation (this girl is from a religious family just like myself, and we used to do the sins together), until God granted me the power to leave this relation, and I promised her that if she repents to God, like I am doing, we will end up together with a halal marriage. After four years, my faith went dramatically down compared to where I was, and I ended up talking to her again, knowing that she slightly changed to the better. I then decided to propose to her and was very happy. I asked her (which was wrong) whether she got into any physical relations with anyone since we broke up, and she denied that, but it was eating me inside that she (perhaps) did do so. Anyway, after getting engaged, I cornered her to tell me whether she had done so, and she confessed, and since then, I am going through a horrible breakdown. I do not know whether you believe in this, but we are truly both obsessed with each other, and the path which she took after we broke up was because of not believing in God properly. Anyway, I feel that she is not pure (although she had a past before me, which I totally accepted, but this last guy I cannot). Nonetheless, I told her that if she gets really close to God by quitting the major sins that she does, we will get married. And if not, we will not be together. Do you think this would make me forget and push me back closer to God, or should I immediately end this relation and look for a pure girl and start my life over? (I am scared that my love for this girl will haunt me with all the pain that she has caused me.) May Allah reward you, Shaykh.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad  is His slave and Messenger.

Praise be to Allah, Who guided you and brought you back to Him before you die. We ask Allah to help you, guide you, and enable you to do that which He likes and is pleased with.

Your question included committing many sins, including the forbidden relationship and asking your fiancée about her forbidden relationship.

We advise you to repent to Allah from all sins and become steadfast on His religion. If you love that girl, then the best solution is to marry her. So we advise you to marry her if she has repented to Allah with a sincere repentance and has become steadfast on His religion. Do not think about her previous sins; what is important is her situation now.

So if it appears that she has become righteous and the signs of repentance appear on her, then we advise you to marry her and not abandon her to marry someone else.

But if she did not sincerely repent, then you should forget her and look for another religious woman to marry, as there are many women out there, and you do not know who is better for you.

We ask Allah to enable you to do that which is best.

Allah knows best. -islamweb.net

The Explanation of Soorat Al-Bayyinah (Clear Evidence) - II

The text of the chapter [from verse 6 to the end]

6. Indeed, they who disbelieved among the People of the Scripture and the polytheists will be in the fire of Hell, abiding eternally therein. Those are the worst of creatures.

7. Indeed, they who have believed and done righteous deeds — those are the best of creatures.

8. Their reward with Allah will be gardens of perpetual residence beneath which rivers flow, wherein they will abide forever, Allah being pleased with them and they with Him. That is for whoever has feared his Lord.

Explanation

Allah, the Most High, informs us about the end of the unjust rejecters of faith from among the People of the Book and the polytheists who oppose the revealed Books of Allah and the Prophets, may Allah exalt their mention, sent by Him, saying that they (the rejecters) will be thrown into the Hell-fire on the Day of Resurrection, to abide therein for all eternity. They will not be able to evade it, nor will they be removed from it.

"Those are the worst of creatures."

That is, the most despised of Allah's creatures. Then He, Most High, informs us concerning those who are pious, fear Allah and are true Believers, confirming by their words and deeds that they are the best of created beings. Abu Hurayrah  and a number of Muslim scholars have concluded from this verse that the true believer is superior to the angels, who are part of the creation.

"Their reward with Allah " that is, on the Day of Resurrection.

"Gardens of Eden under which rivers flow; they will dwell therein forever."That is, without interruption, without ceasing.

"Allah being pleased with them-" That is, Allah's Pleasure is better and more sublime than the lasting felicity, which they are given.

"and they with Him." That is, with the infinite Grace bestowed on them by Him.

"That is for whoever has feared his Lord."

That is, this reward can be achieved by him who fears Allah and is devout with a sincere devotion, who worships Him always as if he was seeing Him, knowing that, though he does not see his Lord, his Lord sees him. It is reported on the authority of Abu Hurayrah  that he said: "The Messenger of Allah  said:

"Shall I not inform you about the best of creation?" They (the audience) said: "Certainly, O, Messenger of Allah!" He said: "A man who takes the reins of his horse (and rides it) in the Way of Allah (in Jihaad) and whenever he hears the call of one in distress, he rides to his rescue. Shall I not inform you of the best of creation?" They said: "Certainly, O, Messenger of Allah!" He said: "A man who (even when he) is busy with his sheep, is steadfast in prayer and pays Zakah (alms). Shall I not inform you about the worst of creation?" They said: "Certainly, O, Messenger of Allah!" He said: "The one who asks in Allah's Name, but does not give in His Name." [Imam Ahmad]

Maalik Ibn 'Amr Ibn Thaabit Al-Ansaari, may Allah be pleased with him, said: "When the ayah (Quranic verse) "Indeed, they who disbelieved among the People of the Scripture and the polytheists…" [Al-Bayyinah] was revealed, Archangel Jibreel (Gabriel) said to Prophet Muhammad : "O, Messenger of Allah! Verily, your Lord orders you to recite this Soorah to Ubayy (one of the prominent reciters and scribes of the Noble Quran among the Companions)." So, the Messenger of Allah  said to Ubayy : "Verily, Jibreel has ordered me to make you recite this Soorah."Ubayy said: "Then I was mentioned, O, Messenger of Allah?" He  said: "Yes."Then Ubayy  wept. [Imam Ahmad, Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Imam At-Tirmithi and An-Nasa'ee  have reported something similar. This Soorah was read to Ubayy Ibn Ka'b  merely to strengthen him in his faith, to convey the Message and as a reminder, not for Ubayy to learn something which he did not know or to make him memorize it - and Allah Knows best.

Source: Tafseer Ibn Katheer, Juz' 'Amma -islamweb.net

 READ PART 1 - The Explanation of Soorat Al-Bayyinah (Clear Evidence) – I

The Explanation of Soorat Al-Bayyinah (Clear Evidence) – I

In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

1. Those who disbelieved among the People of the Scripture and the polytheists were not to be parted [from disbelief] until there came to them clear evidence —

2. A Messenger from Allah, reciting purified scriptures.

3. Within which are correct writings [i.e. rulings and laws].

4. Nor did those who were given the Scripture become divided until after there had come to them clear evidence.

5. And they were not commanded except to worship Allah, [being] sincere to Him in religion, inclining to truth, and to establish prayer and to give Zakah (alms). And that is the correct religion. [Quran 98:1-5] 

As for the People of the Scripture they are the Jews and Christians, while the polytheists are those who worship idols and fire from amongst the Arabs and the non-Arabs. Mujahid  said: "were not to be parted"means that they (the People of the Scripture) will not cease until the Clear Evidence came to them. What the 'Clear Evidence', is explained by the following verse (which means): "A Messenger from Allah, reciting purified scriptures",That is, Muhammad  and that which he recites from the Noble Quran, which was copied by the Heavenly Host (i.e., the angels), on purified sheets, as Allah Says: (what mean):

"[It is recorded] in honored sheets, exalted and purified, [carried] by the hands of messenger-angels, noble and dutiful." [Quran 80:13-16]

"Within which are correct writings [i.e., rulings and laws]."

Ibn Jareer  said: "It means that amongst the purified scriptures are Scriptures from the Books of Allah, of inestimable value, full of justice, perfectly correct, without any error, because they are from Allah, the Almighty, the All-Powerful."

Qatadah  said: "A Messenger from Allah, reciting purified scriptures"means that the Quran is mentioned with the best description and that Allah extols it in the most laudatory terms."

Ibn Zayd  said, concerning the verse (which means): "Within which are correct writings": "It means correct and fair. I say: The Words of Him, the Most High: "Nor did those who were given the Scripture become divided until after there had come to them clear evidence " are like His Words (which mean): "And do not be like the ones who became divided and differed after the clear proofs had come to them. And those will have a great punishment." [Quran 3: 105] That is, the communities (the People of the Books) before us, after Allah, the Exalted, revealed to them proofs and clear signs, became divided and disputed amongst themselves as to what was required of them by Allah, the Most High, in their revealed books. They became involved in major differences as is made clear by the Hadeeth (narration) in which the Prophet  said: "Verily, the Jews are divided into seventy-one different sects, and verily, the Christians are divided into seventy-two sects, and verily, my community will be divided into seventy-three different sects - all of whom will be in the Hell-Fire except one." His Companions asked: "And who are they, O, Messenger of Allah?" He replied: "Those who follow the path of me and my Companions."

And they were not commanded except to worship Allah, [being] sincere to Him in religion, inclining to truth…"This is like Allah's Words (which mean):"And We sent not before you any messenger except that We revealed to him that, there is no deity except Me, so worship Me." [Quran 21: 25] For this reason, Allah Says (what means): "inclining to truth" that is, professing and practicing the True Religion (Islamic Monotheism) without associating any partners with Allah, as in His Words (which mean):"And We certainly sent into every nation a messenger, [saying] 'Worship Allah and avoid false deities.'" [Quran 16: 36]

"and to establish prayer"- which is the most noble of all physical activities.

"and to give Zakah (alms)" - which is to be charitable towards the poor and the needy.

"And that is the correct religion."

That is the True, the Correct, and the Just Faith - to belong to the most upright, religious community - a moderate community. Many scholars, including Az-Zuhri and Ash-Shafi'i  have concluded from this verse that true faith must include action (not just belief in the heart), and for this reason, Allah, the Exalted, Says (what means):

"And they were not commanded except to worship Allah, [being] sincere to Him in religion, inclining to truth, and to establish prayer and to give Zakah (alms). And that is the correct religion."

-islamweb.net

The Prophet's Birthday - A Caution against Innovation - II

Referring this issue back to the Book of Allah, we find it ordaining upon us to follow the Messenger of Allah  in his commandments and warning us against whatever he prohibits. Furthermore it tells us that Allah has perfected the religion for the people. So, as long as Milad (birthday celebration)  is not among the teachings of the Prophet  it cannot be a part of the religion which Allah has perfected for us and asked us to adhere to by following the Prophet.

Again when we refer this issue back to the Sunnah, of the Messenger of Allah , we do not find either the Prophet  or the Companions doing it by themselves or asking others to do it. So it becomes evident that Milad is not a part of religion, rather one of innovations and blind imitation of the people of the book, i. e. the Jews and the Christians in their festivals. With this argument in mind, it becomes crystal clear for everyone having the least insight and inclination towards truth and justice, that celebrating any birthday has nothing to do with Islam. It is rather among the innovations which Allah and His Messenger warned against emphatically.

A wise man must not be deceived by seeing a large number of people doing it throughout the world because the truth is known and recognized by the evidences of Sharee'a and not by the acts of a great number of people. Allah the Almighty says regarding the Jews and the Christians (what means): "And they say, 'None shall enter Paradise unless he be a Jew or a Christian.' These are their own desires. Say (Muhammad) 'Produce your proof if you are truthful.' " [Quran 2: 111]

And the Almighty also said (what means): "And if you obey most of those on earth, they will mislead you far away from Allah's Path. They follow nothing but conjectures, and they do nothing but lie." [Quran 6: 116]

Most of these innovations, in addition to their innovatory nature, also do not usually escape from a number of other evils, such as mixed gatherings of men and women, songs accompanied by musical instruments. drinking intoxicants, narcotics and the like. They may also involve the worst thing i. e. the greatest Shirk (polytheism), through showing exaggeration in the Messenger of Allah  and other saints and through praying to him, invoking his help or believing that he knows what is hidden and all similar claims which render a believer as an infidel.

It is authentically reported that the Messenger of Allah  has said:"Beware of extravagance in the Religion: It has caused the people before you to perish." He also said: "Do not lavish praise on me as the Christians did with the son of Maryam (Jesus, the son of Mary). I am just a bondman. So Simply say: The bondman of Allah and His Messenger." [Al-Bukhari]

It is curious to note that a great many people participate most actively in these celebrations and defend them vehemently, while they sit back from attending the obligatory forms of worship such as daily and Friday prayers. They are not even ashamed of this, nor do they realize that they are committing a great evil. Undoubtedly, this shows the weakness of their faith, their short-sightedness, and the deeply ingrained rust on their hearts because of sins and disobedience. We ask Allah's protection for us and for all the Muslims.

It is even more astonishing to note that some people believe that the Messenger of Allah  is present at Milaad. Consequently they stand to greet and welcome him. That is not only a sheer lie but a worst form of ignorance, as the Prophet  shall neither come out of his grave before the Day of Resurrection, nor shall he meet the people or attend their meetings. Instead, he shall remain in his grave till the Day of Resurrection while his soul rests at the highest of the high with his Lord in the most exalted and highest place.

Allah The Almighty says (what means): "After that, surely, you will die. Then (again), you will be resurrected on the Day of Ressurection." [Quran 23: 15 & A.16] And the Prophet  said: "I am the first one to rise from the grave on the Day of Resurrection and I will be the first intercessor and the first one whose intercession is to be accepted".

The aforesaid evidences from the Qur'an and Hadith prove beyond doubt that the dead people will come out of their graves only on the Day of Resurrection. All the scholars of Islam agree upon this. A Muslim should be aware of these things and must not be easily misled by the innovations and the superstitions created by the ignorant people with no authority from Allah at all.

As for offering the blessings and greetings (Salat and Salam) to the Prophet  they are among the most preferred and virtuous deeds in accordance with the saying of Allah (which mean): "Allah sends His Salat (Graces, Honours, Blessings, Mercy, etc.) on the Prophet (Muhammad) and also His angels too (ask Allah to bless and forgive him). O you who Believe! Send you Salat on (ask Allah to bless) him (Muhammad), and (you should) greet (salute) him with the Islamic way of greeting (salutation i.e. As-Salaamu-Alaikum)." [Quran 33: 56]

The Prophet  has said: "Whosoever sends blessings on me one time, Allah sends blessings on him ten times." It is prescribed on all times, particularly at the end of each prayer. It is held obligatory at last Tashahud of each prayer by most of the scholars. It is strongly required at a number of occasions such as immediately after Adhaan (the call to Prayers), at the mention of the name of the Prophet , during the day of Friday and the night preceding it according to a host of Ahadith.

This is what I wanted to emphasize regarding this issue. I hope it will satisfy everyone whom Allah has shown the light. How sad it is to see some devoted Muslims, known for their strength of faith and love for the Prophet  organizing such innovatory celebrations.

Let us ask such people: "Tell us, if you belong to Ahl-As-Sunna and follow the Prophet, whether he himself or one of his Companions or their successors did this or is it no more than a blind following of others?

The love of the Prophet  is not reflected by the celebration on his birthday, but by obeying him, believing in his teachings, keeping away from what he prohibited and by worshipping Allah in the way he prescribed for us. It is also reflected through offering Salat and Salam to him from time to time, particularly at the mention of his name and during prayers.

May Allah help us and all the Muslims to understand His religion, to continually confirm us on it, stick to Sunnah and keep away from the innovation. Indeed He is Generous and Kind. And May Allah Shower His blessings and mercy upon our Prophet Muhammad  his Posterity and his Companions.

[Summarized from an article by late Shaikh `Abdul `Aziz bin `Abdullah bin Baaz. -islamweb.net

READ PART 1 - The Prophet's Birthday - A Caution against Innovation - I