Man avoiding woman he loves for the sake of Allah

Question

Assalaamualaikum. I have recently avoided getting involved with an extremely beautiful woman because her faith was not at the level I wanted it to be (she was not wearing the hijab). I enjoined good on her and she got very angry at me, but she is not ignoring me (I have not tried to talk to her since). I would say that my heart is hurt by this, I was wondering if there is any specific reward for giving up someone you love for the sake of Allah, the Exalted. May Allah reward you. Wassalaam.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger. 

If a man's heart becomes attached to a woman and he avoided her and chose to guard his chastity and refrain from committing immorality with her, aspiring thereby to earn the pleasure of Allah, then he is rewarded for that by the permission of Allah, the Exalted.

Ibn Taymiyyah  wrote, “A person who is tested by ‘Ishq (infatuation) and chooses to adhere to chastity and patience shall be rewarded for his fear of Allah... Such a person is one of those who fear Allah and who are patient and are referred to in the verse: {Indeed, he who fears Allah and is patient, then indeed, Allah does not allow to be lost the reward of those who do good.} [Quran 12:90]”

It is an obligation to avoid such a woman for fear of Fitnah (temptation) and the reasons that lead to it. Verily, women are one of the major sources of temptation, as stated in the following hadeeth: Usaamah ibn Zayd, may Allah be pleased with them, reported that the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, “I am not leaving behind me any tribulation that is more harmful to men than women.” [Al-Bukhaari] Moreover, Abu Sa‘eed Al-Khudri, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, “So beware of the temptations of the world and the temptations of women. The first tribulation of Banu Israel was in women.” [Muslim]

You did well by enjoining her to do good; may Allah accept it from you. There is no religious impediment to a man calling a woman to do good deeds if the conditions governing male-female interactions in Islam are observed. However, it is better that a woman like her calls her to do good.

If this woman happened to repent to Allah and becomes a good pious Muslim and you are still emotionally attached to her, then the best advice would be to marry her. Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, “There is nothing like marriage for two who love one another.” [Ibn Maajah]

Allah knows best.

-islamweb.net