Five Types of Intimacy to Practice with Your Spouse

 

What do we mean by “different kinds of intimacy”?

The word and even practice of “intimacy” is often mistaken for being purely sexual. Intimacy simply means “closeness” and is something we all crave. Here are several different ways you can practice intimacy with your partner, giving each other more love and comfort.

They (your wives) are your garment and you are a garment for them.” (Al-Baqarah 2:187)

1) Emotional Intimacy: Sharing Feelings and Being Vulnerable

Achieving emotional intimacy with your partner means that you are comfortable revealing a full range of your inner emotions to him or her, from joy to sorrow. Some ways to strengthen your emotional intimacy are:

• Trust your partner by sharing your inner concerns and fears. And of course, respect your spouse when they share these things with you.

• Be present with your spouse. Give them your full attention when they speak to you, and also be aware when their body language is speaking to you.

• Practice generosity. Every partner makes plenty of sacrifices. Be sure to make yours. Do the chores you’d rather not, eat the meals you aren’t wild about, go on the trips that aren’t your first choice, and behave graciously when you do.

• Be forgiving. Don’t assume negatively about your spouse’s actions, and easily forgive their errors instead of holding missteps against them. Focus on positivity to bring each other closer together.

2) Intellectual Intimacy: Sharing Thoughts and Ideas

Being intellectually intimate means that you can share your thoughts and ideas with your partner, even if you don’t agree on the same issues. Some ways to practice intellectual intimacy are:

• Share your goals (individual or as a couple) and encourage each other to achieve them.

• Tell each other about interesting articles or books you have read.

• Better still, read a book together and discuss it as you go along – no spoilers though!

• Plan a trip together, choosing activities you each would like to do.

• Be aware of each others fears or triggers and help each other navigate life through and around them.

• Think of “pillow talk” (after sexual intimacy) as a great time to practice emotional and intellectual intimacy.

And of His signs is that he created for you, of yourselves, spouses, that you might repose in them, and He has set between you love and mercy. Surely in that are signs for people who consider.” (Ar-Rum 30:21)

3) Experiental Intimacy: Sharing Experiences Together

Just as it sounds, experiential intimacy is all about the experiences you have together. Date night is essentially an example, but trying new things always encourages personal growth and bonds you as a couple. Consider:

• Trying a new hobby or sport together.

• Take a cooking or other course together.

• Doing recreational activities you both enjoy, such as hiking, going to the theater or museums.

• Doing the actual traveling part of that trip you discussed.

4) Physical Intimacy: Much More Than Just Sex

Truly, the whole point of this article is that many people mistake intimacy for sex, and as you see, there is so much more to intimacy than that. Physical intimacy is essentially touching without the expectation of copulation. Some ways to enjoy physical intimacy are:

• Exchange quick kisses throughout the day. Make this a regular practice.

• Likewise, give each other regular hugs and “pats” without any need to go further.

• Cuddle while reading, watching TV or while just chatting.

• Give each other massages without expectations of sex.

• Also, openly talk to each other about your feelings regarding being physical – why you do or don’t enjoy it.

5) Spiritual Intimacy: Sharing Your Spiritual Life with Each Other

Here’s a great form of intimacy for Muslims! Spiritual intimacy is all about being in awe of Allah’s magnificence together. This isn’t so much the daily acts of worship, but sharing the emotions and revelations that come from your spirituality. Simple ways to practice spiritual intimacy would be:

• Being in nature together.

• Sharing your gratefulness with each other, such as daily gratitude journaling or text exchanges.

• Admiring the sunset or sunrise together.

• Of course take classes and/or read Islamic texts together, but be sure to discuss them earnestly and without judgement. Respect each other’s different points of view and experiences.

Ultimately, practicing intimacy in depth with your spouse will lead to more and better intimacy, insha Allah. Always remember to be like a comforting garment for each other.

- aboutislam.net

Why Didn’t Prophet Muhammad Designate His Successor?

 

Many of the sahabah (companions) did not attend the funeral of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).

If what you meant was that some of them did not attend his actual burial, that fact is very true.

In fact, the actual burial of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was attended by a few people, mainly members of his family.

The reason however, definitely had no relation with the thorough consultations over the issue of succession.

Why Didn’t The Sahabah Attend His Funeral?

At the death of the prophet, the companions found themselves facing the question of where to bury the prophet’s body.

There were two opinions: either to bury him in his mosque or to bury him with his companions in the Baqi`.

Then they found the solution in a hadith narrated by Abu Bakr, in which the prophet (peace be upon him) said:

Every prophet who died, was buried in the exact spot where he died.

Actually, the prophet (peace be upon him) died in `Aisha’s room, so he was buried there. Obviously, the room was not big enough to hold all his companions.

Thus, only the needed number, among the members of his family, carried out the burial procedure.

Such details, along with others, were what the editor meant by logistic reasons for the delay, stated in many sources and discussed earlier in my previous answer.

As for the janazah prayer, there is no evidence whatsoever, stating that any of the companions, who were in Madinah at the time of the prophet’s death, did not attend it, for whatever reason.

If you have any source, which states the contrary, I would appreciate your sharing it with me.

Why Didn’t He Designate A Successor Before His Death?

As, for the second half of your question – believe it or not – the prophet’s not designating a successor, is among the signs that this deen (religion) is perfect!

As this choice is a political one, it was left to the ummah to decide through shura.

Please do not forget that one of the major characteristics of Islam is its validity for every time and place.

If the prophet had appointed a successor, this would have limited succession to only one method, which is designation.

But, it would have also created another problem: how to determine who is better for the office?

He Left The Options Open For Later Generations

By not appointing a successor, he left the ummah with more than one option of how to select a caliph:

1) By letting the whole ummah choose the caliph – like what the prophet did.

2) By designating a successor – like what Abu Bakr did.

3) By appointing a council to choose a successor – like what `Umar did.

From these different choices, it is possible for the ummah to develop its political leadership selection system, in a way that would be suitable for the different social and political contexts.

Simultaneously, it would not contradict Shariah.

Imam Ali, at the last moments of his life, was asked by his followers to designate a successor.

He replied:

If I designate a successor, there was a man who was better than me, who did actually designate a successor – Abu Bakr. And, if I do not designate a successor, there was a man who was better than me, who did not designate a successor – the prophet (peace be upon him).

 - aboutislam.net

Az-Zahrawi: The Great Muslim Surgeon

 

• Az-Zahrawi was born in 938 in Cordoba, Andalusia
• He wrote At-Tasrif, a medical encyclopedia covering various aspects of medicine, including obstetrics, maternal and child health, and surgery

The 10^th century saw the zenith of the Umayyad golden age in Andalusia. Under the leadership of ‘Abd ar-Rahman An-Nasir (r. 912-961) and his son Al-Hakam II, this dynasty established sovereignty over the majority of the Iberian Peninsula.

The capital Cordoba developed into Europe’s greatest metropolis, a thriving city of half a million, where educational and religious institutions as well as trade and industry flourished in an atmosphere of intellectual ferment.

In 936, An-Nasir began construction of a new capital, Az-Zahra, on the slopes of Al-Arus, a mountain six miles northwest of Cordoba.

Intended mainly as a political and military center, the new city became a monument to 10^th century Muslim architecture. Its magnificent palaces, residential quarters, and splendid gardens have led some historians to dub it the “Versailles of the Umayyads.”

Umayyads & Science

At the same time, the Andalusian Umayyads provided generous patronage to the arts and sciences, including life sciences. As a result, a large number of eminent physicians were drawn to the capital and added to the advance of Islamic medicine and pharmacy with their writings and research.

It was in this royal city amidst this atmosphere of intellectual achievement that Abu al-Qasim Khalaf bin Abbas Az-Zahrawi, known to the West by his Latin name Albucasis, was born about 938. He was simply the greatest Muslim surgeon, with European surgeons of his time coming to regard him as a greater authority than even Galen, the ancient world’s acknowledged master.

Medieval European surgical texts quoted Az-Zahrawi more often than Galen. However, because Az-Zahra, the city of his birth, was destroyed in 1011, little is known with certainty about his early life.

Al Humaydi’s Jadhwat al-Muqtabis (On Andalusian Savants) contains the first existing (albeit, sketchy) biography of this great Islamic physician, listing only his ancestry, place of residence, and approximate date of death.

Written Work

What is known about Az-Zahrawi is contained in his only written work: At-Tasrif liman ‘Azija ‘an at-Ta’lif (The Method of Medicine). At-Tasrif is a voluminous compendium of 30 treatises compiled from medical data that Az-Zahrawi accumulated in a medical career that spanned five decades of teaching and medical practice.

In At-Tasrif, Az-Zahrawi produced a medical encyclopedia covering a number of aspects of medicine with particular emphasis on obstetrics, maternal and child health, and the anatomy and physiology of the human body.

At-Tasrif elaborates on the causes, symptoms and treatment of disease, and discusses the preparation of pharmaceuticals and therapeutics, covering emetic and cardiac drugs, laxatives, geriatrics, cosmetology, dietetics, materia medica, weight and measures, and drug substitution.

Az-Zahrawi’s discussion of mother and child health and the profession of midwifery is of particular interest in the history of nursing. His text implies that there was a flourishing profession of trained midwifes and nurses in existence during 10^th century Andalusia. He and other skilled physicians and obstetricians instructed and trained midwives to carry on their duties with knowledge and confidence.

The last and largest volume of At-Tasrif, “On Surgery,” was nothing less than the greatest achievement of medieval surgery. It was the first independent surgical treatise ever.

The Muslim Surgeon

The work covers a wide range of surgical issues including cautery, the treatment of wounds, the extraction of arrows, and the setting of bones in simple and compound fractures. Az-Zahrawi also promoted the use of antiseptics in wounds and skin injuries; devised sutures from animal intestines, silk, wool and other substances; and developed techniques to widen urinary passages and surgically explore body cavities.

Az-Zahrawi is the first to detail the classic operation for cancer of the breast, lithotrities for bladder stones, and techniques for removing thyroid cysts. He describes and illustrates obstetrical forceps, but only recommends their use with deceased fetuses, and provides the first known description of the obstetric posture now known as “Walcher’s position.”

At-Tasrif is also the first work in diagramming surgical instruments, detailing over two hundred of them, many of which Az-Zahrawi devised himself. Many of these instruments, with modifications, are still in use today.

With the reawakening of European interest in medical science, At-Tasrif quickly became a standard reference which they translated into Latin five times. The arrangement of the work, it’s clear diction, and its lucid explanations all contributed to its popularity and great success.

Az-Zahrawi’s influence on the course of European surgical development was deep and long lasting. Guy de Chauliac, the acknowledged “Restorer of European Surgery,” cites Az-Zahrawi more than 200 times. - aboutislam.net

Health Benefits of a Good Night’s Sleep

 

On the importance of sleep and its role in ensuring sound health, as part of His creation agenda, Allah, the Almighty, informs us in the Qur’an:

“And We made your sleep [a means for] rest. And We made the night as clothing. And We made the day for livelihood” (Surat An-Naba’ 78:9-10-11).

When we have been awake for a long period of time, sleep/wake homeostasis tells us that a need for sleep is accumulating and that it is time to sleep.

It also helps us maintain enough sleep throughout the night to make up for the hours of being awake.

In the video above from TedEd in 2015, Dr. Shai Marcu defends early sleeping, showing how sleep restructures your brain in a way that’s crucial for how our memory works. - aboutislam.net

Facing Trials with Wisdom

 

What do we do when things get hard? When the future seems hopeless and bleak?

There are some people around us who are incredible at the face of hardship. They not only avoid doing anything drastic; they stand firm, rock-solid, so that others crawl up to them and hold on to them for support.

What makes them different?

Wisdom in the Face of Hardship

In the previous article we discussed what hikmah (wisdom) means and how to gain it. The main source a Muslim can utilize to increase his level of wisdom is the Quran. Allah says:

He gives wisdom to whom He wills, and whoever has been given wisdom has certainly been given much good. And none will remember except those of understanding. (Quran 2:269)

Wisdom is a gift from Allah, and you already have that gift within your reach – the Quran.

Ibn Abbas defines hikmah simply as knowledge of the Quran. (Ibn Kathir)

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) made a special dua for relief from sadness and anxiety, at the end of which he said:

… You make the Quran the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety. (Hisnulmuslim)

The Quran has the ability to turn your winter of hardship into a spring of bliss. If you can hold on to it, you will find contentment in your heart despite failing in exam, or despite going through a painful divorce. You will find the patience and courage to deal with hardship.

That contentment will help you overcome your difficulties and come out of hardship. Also, implementing the Quran in your life will bring Allah’s help and fill your life with barakah.

The First Aspect of Wisdom

The Quran tells you what you need to do when things become hard.

When a calamity strikes, the Quran reminds you to say:

Who, when disaster strikes them, say, ‘Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return.’ (2:156)

1- Inna lillah: “Indeed, we belong to Allah.” We are Allah’s slaves. Forget the thing we lost, we ourselves belong to Him.

2- Wa inna ilayhi raji’un: “And we will return to Him.” This hardship isn’t the end of life. This worldly life is just the beginning.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) added a dua to be said after this statement:

If any servant (of Allah) who suffers a calamity says: ‘We belong to Allah and to Him shall we return; O Allah, reward me for my affliction and give me something better than it in exchange for it,’ Allah will give him reward for affliction, and would give him something better than it in exchange. (Muslim 918 b)

In the dua, we are adding two more points:

3. Ask for His help.
4. Hope for the best.

After the Companion Abu Salamah died, his wife made this dua. Do you know what the outcome was? She was later married by the Prophet and became one of our Mothers. Her name is Umm Salamah.

These four reminders will keep our minds sane during a calamity.

The Second Aspect of Wisdom

Once we have our intellect safe from the influence of our emotions clouding over it, now we are ready to take some action to deal with the problems.

For this we need the second aspect of wisdom – the wisdom to rummage through the different courses of action and choose the correct one. Here, the Quran and sunnah will come to your aid.

If one’s wife suddenly starts having hallucinations, what does he do? Does he take her to a psychiatrist, do ruqyah on her, or get a shaykh give her a magic amulet?

Despite being Muslims living in techy times, a surprising number of people would choose the latter option. This is nothing but ignorance, a lack of wisdom.

The general guidelines of the Quran and Sunnah tell us exactly what to do in such a circumstance:

1. Seek help with the Quran.
2. Seek help from an expert.
3. Avoid shirk at all costs, and that includes going to a shaykh for a magic amulet.

These two aspects of wisdom, put together, form the perfect recipe to deal with hardships: the best attitude combined with the best course of action.

- aboutislam.net

About Tabassum

Tabassum is a freelance writer and online Alimiyyah student at Al-Salam Institute, UK.  ihsan.life

Surah Luqman: Wise Man Advises His Son

 

Luqman (may Allah be pleased with him) was one of the very few individuals who were quoted by Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala in the Quran. Although he was not a prophet, he was a famous person in the Arabic literature renowned for his wisdom and wise quotations.

Luqman was mentioned in the glorious Quran and was highly praised by Allah the Almighty Who narrates his most famous sayings and his advice to his son.

When a parent speaks to his children, it is usually genuine advice which stems from a caring father or mother. Integrity is significant in making sure that our family is guided first, before preaching to the masses.

The Surah summarizes Luqman’s wisdom instructing us to care about our families and to direct our utmost attention to raising them by basically teaching them faith, morality and the very purpose of life.

Gratitude: The Epitome of Wisdom

Some people may be uncertain with the true meaning of wisdom; they use unclear words and grandiose expressions which they may or may not understand.

The Arabs however define wisdom as simply possessing suitable knowledge and acting upon it. Wisdom according to them is not about accumulating knowledge but also understanding and applying it.

Luqman’s wisdom had this practical sense: it was focused on gratitude as revealed in the verse:

{We endowed Luqman with wisdom: ‘Be thankful to God: whoever gives thanks benefits his own soul, and as for those who are thankless––God is self-sufficient, worthy of all praise} (Luqman 31:12)

Luqman’s advice to his son:

1. Worship none but Allah:

{My son, do not attribute any partners to God: attributing partners to Him is a terrible wrong} (Luqman 31:13)

The more you learn about Allah and His magnificence and reflect on His blessings your faith will be boosted and you will remember that He watches you all the time. So, Luqman teaches his son:

{My son, if even the weight of a mustard seed were hidden in a rock or anywhere in the heavens or earth, God would bring it [to light], for He is Subtle and Well-Aware} (Luqman 31:16)

2. Parent’s rights:

He who does not thank people will not truly thank Allah and the people who deserve your appreciation the most are your parents. Luqman here emphasizes the importance of being dutiful to one’s parents. Without understanding and implementing this concept, you will not truly understand the beauty of gratitude.

{We have commanded people to be good to their parents: their mothers carried them, with strain upon strain, and it takes two years to wean them. Give thanks to Me and to your parents– all will return to Me} (Luqman 31:14}

At the same time, when there is a disagreement between your parents’ wishes and the rights of Allah, definitely Allah comes first (Verse 15).

3. Establish the prayer and help build a righteous community

{Keep up the prayer, my son; command what is right; forbid what is wrong} (Luqman 31:17)

4. Be patient and strong

{Bear anything that happens to you steadfastly.} (Luqman 31:17)

5. Do not become arrogant

{Do not turn your nose up at people, nor walk about the place arrogantly, for God does not love arrogant or boastful people} (Luqman 31:18)

Don’t Follow Parents Blindly

While it is important to have a strong and healthy relationship with your parents, the Surah warns against blindly following parents. While being dutiful to one’s parents is significant, it does not include accepting their wishes to deviate from the right path.

{When they are told, ‘Follow what God has sent down,’ they say: ‘We shall follow what we saw our forefathers following. What! Even if Satan is calling them to the suffering of the Blazing Flame?} (Luqman 31:21)

It also reminds us that no family member can benefit you on the Day of Judgment if you disbelieve:

{People, be mindful of your Lord and fear a day when no parent will avail their child, nor a child avail their parent in any way. God’s promise is true, so do not let the present life delude you, nor let the Deceiver delude you about God} (Luqman 31:33)

---

Taken with permission and with some modifications from Dr. Mohannad Hakeem’s blog by aboutislam.net.

- aboutislam.net

About Dr. Mohannad Hakeem

Dr. Mohannad Hakeem is an educator, activist, and author who has studied traditionally under multiple scholars in the Muslim world for the past 20 years. He is originally from Lebanon and currently resides in Dearborn, MI, USA, where he has helped establish multiple community initiatives and organizations, with a focus on youth empowerment and education. His most recent book, "The 40 Hadith on Community Service," draws inspiration from the Quran and the Sunnah to provide young Muslims with an "algorithm" for success and excellence in both the worldly life and the afterlife. In his professional career, Dr. Hakeem earned a PhD in Mechanical Engineering. In this role, he has taught several students, conducted research, and authored 80+ patents and technical papers.

4 Benefits of Giving Charity

 

Charity is an essential part of Islam. But only a few of us realize the benefits of giving, both in this life and in the Hereafter. Just as the Prophet as said ”Charity doesn’t decrease wealth” Click here to find out 4 benefits of giving charity!

- aboutislam.net

10 Qualities of People with High Emotional Intelligence

 

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

According to Psychology Today, emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others.

It is generally said to include three skills: emotional awareness; the ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to manage emotions, which includes regulating your own emotions and cheering up or calming down other people.

Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible.

It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions to achieve positive results.

All people experience emotions, but few can accurately identify them as they occur.

Ask yourself if these qualities of emotionally intelligent people apply to you:

1. You Can Master Your Emotions

While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling “bad,” emotionally intelligent people can pinpoint whether they feel “irritable,” “frustrated,” “downtrodden,” or “anxious.”

The more specific your word choice, the better insight you have into exactly how you are feeling, what caused it, and what you should do about it.

2. You Care About Others

Emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them.

This curiosity is the product of empathy, one of the most significant gateways to high EQ.

The more you care about other people and what they’re going through, the more curiosity you’re going to have about them.

3. You Embrace Change

Emotionally intelligent people are flexible and constantly adapting.

They know that change is the norm in this life and that fear of change is a major threat to their success and happiness.

4. You Have Self-Awareness

In other words, you know your strengths and weaknesses.

You are part of a huge community. A community of lovers. Lovers of Allah and the Prophet Muhammad (may Allah bestow peace and blessings upon him).

You know:

– What you’re good at and what you’re bad at.

– Who pushes your buttons and what excites you.

– Where to start and how to succeed.

5. You Are Not Easily Offended

Emotionally intelligent people are self-confident and open-minded, which creates a pretty thick skin.

You may even poke fun at yourself or let other people make jokes about you because you are able to mentally draw the line between humor and degradation.

6. You Know How to Say No

“No” is a powerful word that you should not be afraid to say.

When it’s time to say no, emotionally intelligent people avoid phrases such as, “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain.”

Saying no to a new commitment honors your existing commitments and gives you the opportunity to successfully fulfill them.

7. You Let Go of Mistakes

Emotionally intelligent people distance themselves from their mistakes, but do so without forgetting them.

By keeping their mistakes at a safe distance, yet still handy enough to refer to, they are able to adapt and adjust for future success.

8. You Don’t Seek Perfection

Emotionally intelligent people won’t set perfection as their target because they know that it doesn’t exist.

Human beings, by our very nature, are fallible.

When perfection is your goal, you’re always left with a nagging sense of failure that makes you want to give up or reduce your effort.

Emotionally intelligent people set realistic goals and expectations for themselves and others.

9. You Appreciate What You Have

Taking time to contemplate what you’re grateful for isn’t merely the right thing to do; it also improves your mood because it reduces the stress hormone cortisol by 23%.

Research conducted at the University of California, Davis, found that people who worked daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitude experienced improved mood, energy, and physical well-being.

It’s likely that lower levels of cortisol played a major role in this.

10. You Are a Good Listener

Emotionally intelligent people know that “hearing” and “listening” are two different things.

They re-phrase a person’s statements in the form of a question to make sure nothing got lost in translation.

Finally, we, as Muslims, must learn from our beloved prophet (PBUH), whom Allah Almighty sent to mankind and taught him to be the best in ethics and manners so that we would find the most complete and best example in him.

In modeling our lives after the Prophet (PBUH), we should show love and mercy, seek peace and show forgiveness, lead by example, be the best we can be to our family, and finally, live by the Quran.

In his seerah (PBUH), we will find the greatest lessons of intelligence, wisdom, and virtue.

***

- aboutislam.net

Be Conscious of Allah with Things You Love

Allah tells us to be conscious of Him while trying to get the things we love. If we do that we will be in contentment and in the Hereafter we will be granted Paradise.

If you try and get the things you love through means that are unacceptable, then you will plunge yourself in destruction. You will not be happy and there will be a crisis.

Allah tells us when we are trying to achieve the things we love we must always be conscious of Allah. We must make sure we follow the rules and the regulations that Allah has set us. These rules are not there to distress us rather they are there to govern our life. - aboutislam.net

Is Getting Married over Zoom Permissible?

 

Is Getting Married over Zoom Permissible?

Can nikah take place virtually? Can the groom be sitting somewhere and the bride be sitting somewhere else and the nikah is taking place via video conferencing call or any mechanism?

Whether it’s zoom? Whether it’s Facetime. Or whatever it is. Or even via phone call. Is it possible or not?

Now I am aware that there are opinions out there. But again this is the rapid fire so we’re going to be doing one opinion only.

It is insha allah permissible to engage in a nikah online or via social media apps or via telephone with the condition that there are enough circumstantial evidences to basically identify with certainty the bride and the groom. As well as the witnesses and the wali.

How about Fraud?

So the problem that some ‘ulamaa raise is that how do we know if it is actually some type of fraud or something of this nature. And of course I mean that might be valid.

But if the entire families are involved. For example everybody’s looking forward to that day and the bride’s parents and the groom’s parents and you know everybody’s knowing that it’s taking place then the chances of fraud are basically eliminated to the degree as if it was in one room.

Therefore as long as the identities are in some fashion guaranteed. And as I said this doesn’t have to be it is circumstantial evidence the context is good enough. So if both families are involved and again you know the bride’s getting ready in her household the groom’s getting ready and the wali is known everybody can. have the nikah online.

It is not a condition of nikah that the husband and wife to be are in the same vicinity. You can conduct the nikah in different places with the wali of course. The actual nikah contract should be between the wali and between the groom. That can be done online. That can be done via any type of social media platform in which immediate back and forth can take place and as long as the identities are vetted and confirmed.

Money or Visa Issues

The only case again would be problematic if for example the two individuals were corresponding online had never met and you notice there’s a visa issue because there are cases where there’s visa fraud or somebody pretends to be somebody else and just to get the money or the visa.

That’s where I can understand some of our scholars are hesitant that you don’t want to do a nikah and you don’t even know that that other person is real; the identity is real.

So that’s why in such circumstances I can definitely say that reasonable precautions should be taken. Somebody from whichever side is doubtful, should send an actual physical person in that city to make sure the family, the wali, whoever is basically living flesh and blood they are who they say they are and everything is legit.

Otherwise in shaa Allah it is completely permissible and Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala knows best.

- aboutislam.net

About Dr. Yasir Qadhi

Yasir Qadhi was born in Houston, Texas and completed his primary and secondary education in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. He graduated with a B.Sc. in Chemical Engineering from the University of Houston, after which he was accepted as a student at the Islamic University of Madinah. After completing a diploma in Arabic, he graduated with a B.A. from the College of Hadith and Islamic Sciences. Thereafter, he completed a M.A. in Islamic Theology from the College of Dawah, after which he returned to America and completed his doctorate, in Religious Studies, from Yale University.Currently he is the Dean of al-Maghrib Institute, the Resident Scholar of the Memphis Islamic Center, and a professor at Rhodes College, in Memphis, TN.