Father contracting marriage for absent son

Question

If a boy is going to marry a girl, what is the ruling if the boy is not present at the time of contracting the marriage? He is outside and the father of the boy gets together with the girl’s family and contracts the marriage on his son’s behalf. The boy’s parents then present the bride to him. Is such a marriage contracted without the boy’s physical presence legally valid?

Answer

If a father arranges a marriage for his son who suffers from some some mental disability or other obstacle that makes the son unable to enter into contracts on his own, and the father does so for a clear and reasonable consideration of the son's welfare or for the son’s need for marriage, then the marriage contract will be valid. 

This, of course is provided that the other conditions for a valid marriage are fulfilled and that there are no other factors that would prevent or invalidate the marriage. 

In the case of the son who has possession of his full mental and legal capacity, there are two situations:

1. The son authorizes his father to contract a marriage on his behalf. This is permissible and the marriage so contracted will be valid. 

2. The second situation is where the father executes the marriage contract without authorization from his son. This will be impermissible, since the willing assent of the spouses is a condition in marriage. In this case the husband is not willingly accepting.

If the father executed a marriage contract for his son in his absence and the son afterwards approves of what his father did, the marriage will not be valid. The son’s assent must be received before the contracting parties conclude the marriage contract. 

Imam al-Bahûtî said: “If they (the contracting parties) depart from one another or engage in something else that is customarily understood to mean that the contracting session is over, then the (son’s) subsequent approval of the marriage will be invalid.” [Al-Rawd al-Murbi` (363)] 

And Allah knows best.

-islamtoday.net

Woman's voice is not 'Awrah but she has to speak modestly

Question

I am a revert to islam. This question is in two parts. Shortly after we married, my wife tripped over an uneven part of the pavement and fractured her knee. A particularly conservative lady phoned her to state that she would visit her that evening - provided that I was not home; thereby throwing me out of my own home when all I wanted to do is relax after a days work. Was it correct that she did this, or - as she was so concerned about a non-mahram man - should she have arranged to visit during the day when I was at work? I am now getting plans drawn up for a new home which will have a "ladies only" room which will have its own toilet and outside space attached (surrounded by high walls and not overlooked by any upstairs windows) in order that even if outside they will not be seen. However someone has said to me that this set up would not be sufficiently segregating/secluding as:- first of all the access door to the room from the rest of the house would need to be locked once the ladies were inside; secondly, the outside space would need to have a glass roof over it with no ventilation facilities as these would allow the sound of their voices to escape; and thirdly, to complete the segregation - since the female voice is part of her awrah - the ladies room itself would need to be soundproofed. Is all that taking the segregation/seclusion of females from non-mahram men too far, or is it what the faith would prefer?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and messenger.

First of all, we sincerely congratulate you for the blessing that Allah has bestowed on you by making you embrace Islam. This is indeed a great blessing and we hope that Allah will make it a cause for your happiness in this world and the Hereafter. We advise you to earnestly utilize everything that will help you stay firm in Islam, such as learning beneficial knowledge, performing good deeds and being keen on keeping the company of righteous and pious people.

That sister visiting your wife is a good thing, but the right time should be chosen to avoid difficulty for the household. It would have been more appropriate for your wife to seek your advice in this matter and both of you to agree on an appropriate time, during which that sister could come for a visit, like when you go out of the house, either to work or elsewhere. In any case, this is something that happened in the past and it is more appropriate for you to focus on correcting matters in the future.

The religion of Islam is moderate, and just as it prohibits the causes of temptation, like negligence when it comes to mixing between men and women, it also prohibits being too strict about matters that do not require strictness. The presence of men and women together is permissible provided that they are in separate places and modesty is observed. Indeed a woman may go out to the market, and walk in the way of men, go to the mosque, and so forth. Also, a woman's voice is not ‘Awrah and she may speak while men can hear her. However, she should not speak in a tempting and soft manner. Rather, she should speak good words and in a modest manner. Allah says (what means): {O wives of the Prophet, you are not like anyone among women. If you fear Allah, then do not be soft in speech [to men], lest he in whose heart is disease should covet, but speak with appropriate speech.} [Quran 33:32]

In any case, a woman should lower her voice in the presence of men, as this is evidence of her modesty, and there is much good in modesty as the Prophet  has said.

Allah Knows best.

-islamweb.net

No expiation on account of forgetfulness

Question

I made an oath not to do something and then I did it out of forgetfulness. What must I do now?

Answer

In case of forgetfulness you do not have to expiate for your oath. 

Allah says: “Our Lord, condemn us not if we forget or fall into error” [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 286] 

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “My nation will not be held accounted for what they forgot or were coerced into doing” [Sunan Ibn Mâjah, Sunan al-Dârqutnî and others. It was authenticated by al-Dhahabî] 

And Allah knows best.

-islamtoday.net

Finding wife unattractive

Question

I decided to follow much of your advice, may Allah reward you. I feel that the best route would be to marry a second wife. I have tried everything to feel physically attracted to my wife and have cried to Allah. Everyday, I am scared of disobeying Allah and turning to porn and am I afraid of committing adultery, I seek refuge in Allah from that. I have found a sister through a matrimonial site online. Allah is my witness that I also wanted to do good through this second marriage as the sister is a divorcee with a child and is suffering. Instead of choosing a beautiful, young unmarried virgin, I thought that marrying her would help me and I could also help her. I wanted to tell my wife that I wish to remarry, but the time was never appropriate as she was having huge problems with her family. Each time I try to mention the subject, I am unable to progress. So I went ahead with engaging in conversation for the purpose of marriage. After a few discussions, I agreed to marry this sister and agreed to meet her father in a few months. My wife discovered this and is furious. She feels that I betrayed her and was hiding this even though this is not the case. She rejects a second marriage and states Faatimah  as an example since she rejected Ali's  desire to remarry. She says that it will destroy her faith and that hiding it made it worse. I wanted to inform her, but the time was never appropriate, and I did not want to cause her more pain while she was already feeling down. She asked why I rushed and says that I was being selfish. I cannot tell her that I rushed because I have always found her extremely unattractive and have a strong sexual desire, both of which are destroying me mentally and spiritually everyday! She thinks that I do not have a strong sexual desire as my physical contact with her is minimal. In reality, I cannot tell her that my sexual desires are extremely high but that I do not feel attracted to her, nor can I talk to her about porn and so on.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad  is His slave and Messenger. 

There is no doubt that it is normal that a wife does not agree that her husband marries a second wife because of the natural predisposition of women to jealousy. It is not surprising as well that she gets angry for that, but she has no right to prevent her husband from marrying a second wife because this is something which Allah Almighty permitted for anyone who is able to be just between his wives.

Allah says (what means): {And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one.} [Quran 4:3]

Moreover, a husband is not obliged to seek his wife’s permission in marrying a second wife, nor does he have to inform her about this, but if he informs her, it might be better.

Marrying a second wife may be an obligation sometimes, like in the case that a man cannot keep himself chaste with only one wife and fears to be tempted into committing sin.

Therefore, you should try to convince your wife about this marriage. If she agrees, then praise be to Allah, otherwise, you have the right to get married whether she likes it or not.

It is good that you take her feelings into account and do not mention to her that you are not attracted to her, but you may indirectly point to this, such as by telling her that you like to see her looking at her best (beautified) and the like, then perhaps you would see from her what pleases you and suffices you from a second marriage, which might lead to many problems.

If you have actually started watching pornography, then you must fear Allah and give up on that and hasten to repent. Watching pornography is a great evil that may lead to the wrath of the Lord of the heavens and the Earth. It is not permissible for you to inform anyone about the sins that you committed.

Allah knows best.

-islamweb.net

Giving charity from unlawfully earned wealth

Question

There is a Muslim who has interest earnings from his bank account, and he wants to give these earnings regularly in charity. Is there any reward for him from the charity that he gives? Is that money o.k. for the charity to accept, knowing that it has come from interest earnings?

Answer

One should expect to receive no reward or blessing for the giving charity one gives from one’s unlawful earnings.

Abû Hurayrah relates the following hadîth which is found in Sahîh Muslim:

Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said: “Allah is good and accepts nothing but what is good. Indeed, Allah commands the believers with the same command that He enjoins upon His Messengers, and He says:

“ ‘O Messengers! Eat of the things good and pure and work righteous deeds.’ [Sûrah al-Mu’minûn: 51]

“And says: ‘O you who believe! Eat of the things good and pure that We have provided for you.’ [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 172]”

Then the Prophet (peace be upon him) mentioned a man who had traveled on a long journey, his hair disheveled and discolored with dust. “He will raise his hands to the sky saying ‘O Lord! O Lord!’ but his food is unlawful, his drink is unlawful, and his clothing is unlawful. How then can he be answered?”

It is permissible for the charitable organization to accept the money that it knows the donor received through interest earnings. Unlawfully earned money is forbidden for the person who earned it, not for people who later receive that money from him through lawful means.

Indeed, it is the duty of someone who has come into unlawful wealth to rid himself of it by spending it on the needy and in public works. However, he must do so with the intention of ridding himself of unlawful wealth and not with the intention of charity.

And Allah knows best.

-islamtoday.net

A Muslim Must Accept and Follow the Sunnah

{Nor does he speak from [his own] inclination. It is not but a revelation revealed.} [Quran 53:3-4]

Muslim scholars are in total agreement that if a person refuses to accept the Sunnah of the Prophet  and obey it as an integral part of the religion (Islam), a revelation from Allah Almighty that is a Divine source of Islam and an explanation of the Quran, and a perfect example for all mankind to follow, then he is an apostate or a disbeliever.

Imaam Ibn Hazm  said: “If a person says, ‘I only accept what I find in the Quran’, he becomes a disbeliever according to the consensus of Muslims.”

In the past as well as in our times, Muslims have seen amongst their ranks a few who now and then claim that they do not need the Sunnah or they do not believe in it or reject it altogether. Some of those who may say that claim to be Muslims but they only follow and obey the Quran and nothing else. However, Allah Almighty, whom they claim to obey has clearly stated in many places of the Noble Quran that everyone, regardless of any situation or status, should obey the Prophet  in all times and conditions, and when they do so, then they have achieved obedience to Allah. Allah Almighty Says (what means): {He who obeys the Messenger has obeyed Allah...}[Quran 4:80] Moreover, Allah Says (what means): {But no, by your Lord, they will not [truly] believe until they make you [O Muhammad] judge concerning that over which they dispute among themselves and then find within themselves no discomfort from what you have judged and submit in [full, willing] submission..} [Quran 4:65] Here Allah makes it clear that one who does not accept the verdicts of the Prophet  is not a believer.

Others disregard the Sunnah because they say that the Prophet's authority was only valid while he was alive. This is totally baseless, and they have to reject the Quran with it, if this were to be true. Allah Says what means: {Say [O Muhammad] 'O mankind, indeed I am the Messenger of Allah to you all...} [Quran 7:158] This makes it clear that Muhammad  was sent to all people and for all times.

Finally, some reject the Sunnah because they say that there are flaws in its recording. They claim that too many Hadeeths were fabricated or "projected back," or were not recorded until later generations. Hadeeth and Sunnah scholars have responded to all such claims throughout history. They showed definite evidence that the Hadeeth recording was established at the time when the Prophet  was alive. As for fabricated Hadeeths, the methodology followed by these scholars insured that none of them was to remain uncovered. Muslims do not accept but the Hadeeths that were proven acceptable under that methodology. Actually, this fact makes Islam unique among all religions. It rendered it immune to corruption and change.

Allah Almighty Says what means: {Say, 'Obey Allah and the Messenger.' But if they turn away – then indeed, Allah does not like the disbelievers.} [Quran 3:32] and {O you who have believed, obey Allah and obey the Messenger and those in authority among you. And if you disagree over anything, refer it to Allah and the Messenger, if you should believe in Allah and the Last Day. That is the best [way] and best in result.} [Quran 4:59]

Thus, to deny any part of the Sunnah is disbelief. However, this does not mean that one who doubts the authenticity of a particular Hadeeth is a disbeliever. -islamweb.net

Divulging bedroom secrets

Question

What does Islam say about speaking to others about the details of one's sexual relationship with one's husband or wife?

Answer

Marriage is a partnership built upon cooperation and trust, as well as love. Each spouse is like a garment to the other. 

Allah says: "They are your garments and ye are their garments." [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 187] 

This is why it is impermissible in Islam for either spouse to divulge the secrets of their private relationship to others. Indeed, they should even keep their marital problems confined to their home as much as possible, only taking such matters to others when they truly need the help of a third party to resolve their difficulties. 

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said that the world is a provision. He informed the men folk that the best provision in the world for them is a virtuous wife. His description of such a wife included that she safeguards her husband's person and his wealth. 

The secrets of intimate life are among the most critical. Neither spouse should divulge to others what takes place in the intimacy of the marriage bed. To do so would be a deception and a betrayal. 

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "On the Day of Judgment, some of the worst of people in their status with Allah will be a man who has intimacy with his wife and then spreads her secrets." [Sahîh Muslim (2597 & 2598)] 

We also have where Asmâ' bint Yazîd relates:

I was once in the company of a group of men and women seated in the presence of Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him). He said to them: "Perhaps a man will mention what he did with his wife, and perhaps a woman will mention what she did with her husband." 

The people sat in embarrassed silence until I spoke up and said: "Indeed, O Messenger of Allah, they do so quite often." 

He said: "That is just like a male devil meeting a female devil and having intercourse while people look on."

[This is related in Musnad Ahmad (6/456). Al-Albanî says in Adâb al-Zafâf (1/71): "This hadîth, with the help of its supporting narrations, is authentic (sahîh) or at least good (hasan)] 

And Allah knows best.

-islamtoday.net