Making Allah the Heart of Our Marriage

 

The institution of marriage is one of the greatest tests of our time – both getting married and staying married.

As if these hardships alone were not enough, add to that the challenge of making the marriage truly Islamic and successful – since of course, simply getting and staying married in themselves are not key indicators of success.

That marriage is ‘half our deen’ is no light statement; because, it requires a weighty amount of hard work and faith to make our marriages the vision of tranquility that Allah intends for us.

So what does it take to ‘dwell in tranquility’ with our spouses?

There is no exhaustive to-do (or be) list for a successful spouse just as there is no one-size fits all solution to marital challenges. However, the steps below outline the need to start with a strong spiritual foundation- a key prerequisite to becoming a successful Muslim spouse.

Ultimately, making Allah the heart of one’s marriage can help lead to making the spouses’ hearts strong for each other.

Live & Love for the Sake of Allah

The first and most important step to becoming a successful Muslim spouse is to strive for a strong, healthy relationship with your Creator. This means learning to direct your thoughts, intentions, words and actions all toward pleasing Allah. More importantly, this means learning to live and love for the sake of Allah.

While this is a basic prerequisite for any healthy relationship in this world, it is also perhaps one of the most difficult concepts to get our heads around because as a society, we have not learned enough about this concept even in theory, let alone in practice.

Learning how to love for the sake of Allah is the most essential step simply because both you and your spouse are human, hence fallible. Neither of you will always be lovable nor will your marriage always be desirable.

There will be ups and downs, moments of hardship and ease. This is a fact of life. Allah however, is the only constant, the only eternal and the only one who is constantly loving, forgiving, helping, healing and truly guiding.

Know that Allah is the only constant.

Therefore, putting all your primary love, dedication and action in this direction will reap you consistent benefits for your marriage and all aspects of this world and the hereafter.

What does loving for the sake of Allah mean in a marriage?

It means placing all your hopes, desires and expectations on Allah. It means depending ultimately only on Allah to fulfill all your needs – emotional, physical and beyond.

This by no means implies that your spouse has no responsibilities towards you. It does mean, however, that even if he or she fails or is inevitably limited in certain aspects, your ultimate reliance is upon Allah only. This complete dependence and attachment only to Allah can save much heartbreak, disappointment and even disillusionment down the road.

Learn & Apply the Quranic Approach to Marriage

In the few verses the Quran contains on marriage, there is much wisdom on how we are to approach the most intimate of our worldly bonds.

Have we truly embedded these verses into the heart of our marriage or are they left as simply glossy calligraphy we embed on our wedding invitations?

Allah tells us in Surah Al Rum:

{And among His Signs is that He created for you spouses from amongst yourselves so that you may dwell in tranquility with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts; truly in that are Signs for those who reflect.} (30:21)

Tranquility. Peace. Serenity. These are meant to be the objectives of marriage. The complete set up of our marriage life – everything from our thoughts and words, to our homes, intimacy, finances, social activities and more, should all be redirected at bringing peace into one another’s lives.

We must sincerely question whether our efforts are in pursuit of fulfilling Allah’s purpose of marital tranquility or in pursuit of our limited worldly understanding of marriage.

Are our efforts for the sake of living together in tranquility or are they for the sake of feeding our lower selves and only fulfilling our worldly desires and demands?

Our desires have their place and importance; after all, Allah himself created them and provided us with marriage in order to fulfill them. Moreover, one of the oft-repeated prayers of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was to ask Allah to give him the best in this world and the hereafter.

However, when our worldly desires take precedence over the Quranic objective of tranquility for marriage, we digress from Allah’s primary purpose for this sacred union.

Learn & Apply the Prophetic Approach to Marriage

Often times, the primary set of reference points we have for marriage include that of our parents, relatives, friends or what is depicted in movies, television and celebrity culture.

Unfortunately though, these reference points may not always demonstrate what a healthy Muslim marriage should look like.

Just as with all aspects of a Muslim’s life, for marriage too, we must look to the Prophetic approach for guidance in every aspect from how to choose a spouse, to the process of the marriage, the intimate relations, day to day life and most importantly on how to deal with the rewards and tribulations that come with married life.

There is much wisdom and practical tips one can gain from delving into the relationship Prophet Muhammad shared with each of his wives. This education must be a prerequisite for anyone entering a Muslim marriage, primarily for understanding how to approach one’s role as a husband or wife.

Two key challenges in any relationship, particularly marriage, are in dealing with each other’s flaws and differences and as a result, spending much of married life trying to ‘fix’ each other.

This approach neglects the fact that ultimately, life and all the roles one may play in it, including that of a spouse, is all meant to be a journey in self improvement, so that one can slowly but surely become the individual that Allah wants them to be.

The main focus then must first be on self-improvement, rather than on ‘spouse improvement.’ Research also shows that all people, married or not, learn and follow better through example rather than only advice.

No one understood and practiced this better than Prophet Muhammad, who was referred to by his wife, Aisha, as a living example of the Quran. In fact, scholars have gone on record to state that much of the Prophet’s Sunnah comes from his actions rather than words. He was a man of action – a spouse of action.

This is not to say that one should not seek to improve the self and the spouse – only to suggest a sensible and wise approach in doing so. The lesson from Prophet Muhammad in marriage and all relationship matters is clear: Lead by example.

Do not Expect Perfection

Thanks to romantic comedies, stories that some rosy-eyed newly-weds share or even the trend of intentionally or unintentionally showing off ideal marital relations on social media, many of us have fallen into expecting perfection from ourselves and from our spouses in marriage.

To get out of this trap, first we must internalize the truth that perfection belongs only to Allah. This truth, by default, makes us imperfect.

To test whether or not you’ve fully realized this truth, ask yourself: How do I react to my flaws? How do I respond to the flaws of my spouse?

If you find that you happen to beat yourself up when you make a mistake or are rather harsh with your spouse’s limitations, you must question how well you accept the fact that perfection belongs only to Allah.

Adjust your expectations from yourself and your spouse, accept that with marriage comes hardship and ease and learn to strive for excellence, rather than perfection.

Understand Allah’s Big Picture for Marriage

One of the best prayers in the Quran for a successful marriage is:

{O our Lord! Gift us spouses and children that will be the coolness of our eyes and make us the leaders of the righteous.} (25:74)

In referring to this prayer, much of the focus has always been on the ‘coolness of the eyes’. While this point is essential, it is equally necessary to focus on the finishing of this prayer, which asks for help in becoming the leaders of the righteous.

This point truly puts into perspective the big picture for marriage – ultimately – a successful marriage – not just one that remains intact but one that does so with tranquility and coolness between the spouses – such an achievement helps not just the two individuals or children involved but can go onto positively impact society as a whole.

A truly successful marriage, in the Islamic sense, can help to create positive leaders and role models out of the spouses and children – for the ultimate benefit of communities across the board and this in turn, can help humanity to flourish and progress.

The order of this prayer – asking for coolness from the spouse and marriage and then help in becoming leaders among the righteous allows for this shift in the big picture focus we must have for our marriages.

Moreover, a focus on this big picture can help one to persevere during the inevitable tough times in marriage and life.

Conclusion

Marriage, just like every other aspect of this world, is simply a path to reaching our ultimate destination: Allah and our home in paradise.

While starting with a strong spiritual foundation is only the beginning to becoming a successful Muslim spouse, it is an essential prerequisite to succeeding in marriage because it helps keep one’s eyes on the ball.

Making Allah the heart of a marriage helps to not only strengthen the hearts of both spouses to each other but will also lead to an accurate compass with which the couple can navigate through all the further practical habits, characteristics and challenges that come with trying to become a successful Muslim spouse.

Finally, even with the right focus and efforts – the end results may not always be what we desire. There might be continuous hardship and there is also the reality of marriages that don’t work out.

However, when the heart of marriage begins and ends with Allah, no matter what the end result, as a believer, it can be a win-win situation regardless – as long as the entire journey is leading to one’s ultimate purpose: Pleasing Allah. - aboutislam.net

Starting with Allah’s Name…What Does ‘Basmalah’ Mean?

 

When we recite the Quran we start with Allah’s name. We say the famous phrase, “Bismillah Ar-Rahman Ar-Rahim“.

It is called ‘Basmalah’. 

So, what is the meaning of this statement?

And why it is recommended to begin important matters with it?

Dr. Yasir Qadhi explores some subtle meanings of the basmalah. He also highlights beautiful spiritual connotation of this oft-repeated phrase.

- aboutislam.net

How to Boost My Self-Confidence?

 

Everyone suffers from low self-confidence or lack of confidence from time to time. However, it seems that in your case you feel this way generally most of the time.

I would kindly suggest that you make a list of the things that you are good at, the things you have accomplished as well as activities and skills you would like to improve upon.

Please review the list of things you are good at and your list of accomplishments daily. This will help you keep a balance regarding the things you feel you cannot do.

Look at the list of things you want to improve upon, whether it is communication skills, problem-solving, completing a chore, a school or work issue or learning a new concept. Examine the steps needed to understand the task.

List the options and steps towards being more effective in doing the said task. For instance, when I wanted to write grants I had to take a class in grant writing.

I then had to learn how to write grants. I went through a period of several trials and errors, but I finally got it!

Making errors is expected and normal. However, the problem is when we do not investigate how to do things differently to produce more effective results.

Often times we give up even before we have put in full efforts.

By giving up too soon and believing in our own self-doubts and our perceived lack of abilities, it can lead us into a vicious cycle of failure – a failure that is self-induced and not a true representation of who we are.

You are intelligent, capable young women. Please, tell yourself that daily, in fact, several times a day!

The more you tell yourself this the more your brain will begin to believe it. It is kind of a form of self CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy).

When we begin to change our negative belief systems into positive ones, it is then reflected in our behavior and actions, in sha’ Allah.

As you begin to change your thinking about yourself, also begin to strategize on what steps are needed to successfully complete something.

Additionally, please do look at your environment. Are you in a place that is free from distractions, stress and other interfering variables?

Are you around people who build you up and not put you down?

These are very important factors to look at because if you live under stressful conditions, it may be hard to cope mentally, emotionally, as well as intellectually.

If you are around people who are constantly saying negative things to you or about you, it may be very difficult to build up your self-esteem and confidence.

In sha’ Allah, surround yourself with uplifting people and an environment conducive to your intellectual, mental, and spiritual growth and development.

In sha’Allah, find the things you are good at as well as be willing to try new things and develop new strategies for learning tasks. Find what works for you.

Some people learn best by visual, others by hands-on and still others by auditory. Often times when we have low self-confidence, we are afraid to try new or different things for fear of failure.

Please, do make efforts to overcome that if it is applicable to your situation. By trying new things, new ways of doing things, we tap into our creativity as well as form new pathways in our brains for learning.

I am confident you will be successful in these endeavors, just believe in yourself and don’t fear failure.

Failure is only baby steps to success. It is how we learn and grow. Make du’aa’ to Allah (swt) for guidance and ease.

Pray that Allah (swt) restores your confidence and brings you joy and success in your future endeavors. Allah (swt) is most merciful but often we must take the first steps!

***

- aboutislam.net

About Aisha Mohammad

Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.

Mind Your Manners

 

Islam places great emphasis on manners and on the proper way to deal with others, regardless of age, sex, colour, religion, or creed.

Relations between people are very important in Islam, and maintaining good dealings with others should be a main priority for all practicing Muslims of all ages.

The importance of this is illustrated in the hadith by Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), who summarised the goal of his entire message into the perfection of the best of manners, where he cited:

“I have been sent to perfect the best of manners. The Prophet (PBUH) was sent for the mercy of mankind, for the goodness of mankind, and for the guidance of mankind”.

Regarding this, Allah Almighty says:

“And We have sent you (O Muhammad): not but as a mercy for the ‘Âlamîn (mankind, jinn and all that exists)”. (21:107)

Good manners apply to everyone because they cover areas of universal understanding.

They must remain with us and shall forever remain so, as they apply to all social conduct in all areas of society.

These manners should become a day-to-day practice where we show people respect, act with kindness, avoid unsuitable behaviour, use appropriate language, make others comfortable, and otherwise make reasonable efforts to not offend others.

For Young Muslims, Make It a Habit

The following guidelines and tips are for our young readers and also serve as a reminder to myself.

It is a reminder of why it is so important to respect our parents and elders for what they have to impart to us that will help ease our journey through life.

Parents and elders should always be respected, as you want them to respect you.

Remember, this is part of our faith, and this leads to good morals and manners, which in turn reinforce this faith.

These good morals and manners should be observed in one’s personal life as well as in one’s relationships with others.

Be Kind to Your Parents

Islam has raised the importance of kindness to parents to the highest possible level. In numerous verses of the holy Qur’an, kindness to parents is mentioned immediately after belief in God.

Compassion for parents is obligatory. It means:

• To be humble with them,

• To speak to them politely,

• To look at them with love and respect,

• To speak in a tone that does not exceed theirs unless they are hard of hearing,

• To give them complete access to your own wealth,

• And offer them the best of your food and drinks.

Bear in mind that you were once weak and helpless, and they raised you to be the good Muslim you are today.

Always respect your parents’ wisdom, knowledge, grace, and fortitude. We need to understand that they have done the best they could.

They have nurtured and made us, and now it’s time to do the same for them.

We should try our utmost to avoid upsetting them and should seek their pleasure as much as possible.

After all, pleasing one’s parents is one of the most virtuous acts.

Allah says:

“And your lord has commanded that you shall not serve (any) but him, and goodness to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) “ugh” nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word.” [17: 23]

This should also be applied to any elders you deal with. Recognise the status of the elderly and give them due respect.

When walking with them, walk slightly behind them and let them enter and exit first.

Respect the Elders

When you meet them, greet them properly and respectfully. Do it with grace, not just because the person is older than you. Do it because they matter as human beings.

You’ll find your attitude shifts a great deal when thinking this way.

When you discuss something with the elderly, let them speak first and listen to them attentively and graciously; talk directly to them, not around them.

If the conversation involves debate, you should remain polite, calm, and gentle.

Always keep in mind that they are more experienced and wise, and ensure that you speak to them in a low tone.

When you address them, never forget to remain respectful. It doesn’t take much to please both your elders, and the rewards are guaranteed to be endless.

Remember, one day it will be you the elder. How would you like to be treated?

On reflection, are you treating your parents and the elderly people in your life the way you would like to be treated? If not, now is the time to begin.

Lastly, smile and be gracious when in the company of your parents and older people.

Your own life will be enriched simply by being open to including them in it.

It is reported that the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“Whoever does not respect our elders, is not compassionate to our youth, and does not give our scholars due honour is not of us”.

He also said:

“The most beloved of God’s servants are those with the best manners.”

- aboutislam.net

About Deana Nassar

Deana Nassar is a published writer. As a mother of four, in her home she’s the sole expert on all things related to marriage, children’s psychology, motherhood and creative survival. She loves charity work, reading and writing poetry, and is mostly known for writing articles discussing family and social issues, faith, freedom, and purpose that comes through God. She can be reached at deana_nassar4@hotmail.com

If it Wasn’t for Suffering, We Wouldn’t Appreciate Blessings!

 

Struggle Breeds Greatness

Some of the most beautiful realities emerge from some of the most excruciatingly painful moments.

Imagine if the child-birth experience happened by simply clicking on a button and popping the baby out of his mother’s womb in seconds… would that have any meaning, significance, or notable value?

We call it a miracle. Despite all the pain and suffering, we call this experience a miracle.

With some patience and humility, greater messages and gifts could be attained.

Let us remember, also, that some of the greatest figures we know have attained to their esteemed statuses by overcoming hardships and suffering.

The message is: if it wasn’t for illness, we wouldn’t have truly appreciated our health, if it wasn’t for the moments of sadness, we wouldn’t have truly appreciated contentment, if it wasn’t for the darkness, we wouldn’t have truly appreciated the light.

Sometimes, those moments of suffering allow us to truly appreciate the countless blessings that we’ve been taking for granted.

That’s why tribulations and suffering happen: to test and teach, show true faith of the believers, and also warn and alarm those who are oblivious or heedless.

A quick look at the Islamic perspective

Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him) was asked which people are the most severely tested. He replied:

The Prophets, then the next best and the next best. A person is tested according to his religious commitment. If he is steadfast in his religious commitment, he will be tested more severely, and if he is frail in his religious commitment, his test will be according to his commitment. Trials will continue to afflict a person until they leave him walking on the earth with no sin on him. [Sunan Ibn Majah]

So, the strongest believers sometimes are the ones who’re given the biggest tests.

Think about this example: if you have friends who only stick by your side when things are going well, but they abandon you when the going gets tough, are they real friends?

Aren’t those friends who stick by you in the most difficult times—no matter how long it takes—prove to be the most committed and real friends?

This is what happens when we commit to God through what we think is a difficulty or a hardship. It is a manifestation of true faith and commitment.

God Teaches Us

God gave us an ability to learn and He will continue to teach us until our last breath. When God created our father Adam, the Quran tells us that, 

He taught Adam the names-all of them... [Quran 2:31]

This is not a fleeting moment in history. This a reality of life: God teaches us.

The word ‘Rabb’ (Lord) in Arabic comes from the word ‘tarbiyaa’ (education). God is the Supreme Educator. We will learn from everything that happens in our lives, good and bad. We just need our hearts and minds to be attentive and reflect.

What is love?

We understand also from the Quran and prophetic narrations that God essentially wants us to deeply know Him, fall in love with Him, and develop a strong, meaningful relationship with Him. This relationship will be carried with us when we live near Him for eternity in an eternal Paradise.

In Surat Ad-Dhariyat verse 56, God says that He created mankind to worship Him.

In Surat Al Ma’ida Verse 54, God says that if we turn our back or walk away from Him, He will bring other people that “He will love, and who will love Him.”

So, the core of our relationship with God is to love Him.

When someone is in a loving relationship with someone else, doesn’t he/she promise to hold on to the other for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health?

Now think about this: if we maintain our loving relationship with God only when things are going well, is this true commitment or a sincere test of faith?

And of the people is he who worships God on an edge. If he is touched by good, he is reassured by it; but if he is struck by trial, he turns on his face [to the other direction].” [Quran 22:11]

Moreover, is being in a test or a trial an indication that God is humiliating this person? The answer is no.

Develop Resilience

God doesn’t charge a soul more than it can handle, and He knows they have the capacity to get through this situation even better with reflection, understanding, experience, and knowledge that not only illuminate their hearts, but the hearts and minds of many others around them.

The blessing is not a matter of instant gratification; It is an educational process that elevates the human being emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually.

The gift of education is not about giving all students a report sheet of straights A’s all the time with no effort on their end. Rather it is a blessing and a gift for those who were patient and struggled to achieve and earn their success.

The toughest warriors are the ones who are given the most challenging battles. Those who are suffering are not necessarily humiliated. Rather, it is sometimes a recognition of their ability to handle bigger tests.

Trust in Allah’s Plan

Some take a defensive position with God because they can’t seem to understand why certain things are happening.

But some people will not do that. They will remain humble, patient and committed until they realize the deeper meanings, wisdom and blessings that come out of their difficulties.

They’re the people who realize that if there was no darkness, we wouldn’t have appreciated the light, if there was no difficulty, we wouldn’t have appreciated ease, and if there was no evil, we wouldn’t have yearned for all that is good.

These are all experiences that should remind us of our meaning and purpose in life, encourage us to better ourselves, strengthen us and deepen our relationship with our Creator, not take us away from Him…And the promise of God is ever true…

“For indeed with the hardship [will be] ease. Indeed with the hardship [will be] ease.” (Quran 94:5-6)

To sum up, why does a disaster happen?

It is a sign of The Power of the Creator, a reminder for us to reevaluate our lives and our purpose, and a test of true faith for the sincere believers.

And Allah knows best.

- aboutislam.net

About Dina Mohamed Basiony

Dina Mohamed Basiony is a writer based in Cairo, Egypt. She specializes in Islam and spirituality. Dina holds an MA and BA in Journalism and Mass Communication from the American University in Cairo.

10 Things Every Muslim Can Do to Make a Difference

 

Doesn’t it seem like there’s just too much that needs to be done, and it is beyond us to do anything about this?

Have you ever felt like the problems were just too huge to solve? Have you ever blocked it out of your mind because if you really thought about it, you would become depressed? If so, then you’re not alone.

Of course, there are some people who will make one specific issue their focus, and they’ll work to help in that direction.

For example, someone might get the support of the local Islamic Center his or her cause.

Someone may make it their lifetime objective to share the message of Islam with humanity.

Another person may adopt the mission to support and establish Islamic schools, and yet someone else may take on the task of providing relief to war and disaster victims.

But most of us don’t have time to do justice to those types of goals like we should.

But the alternative of sitting at home and watching TV is hardly worth our time when there are real people out there who need us and a cause that we must support.

As Muslims, we constantly need to understand the real meaning of submitting ourselves to the will of God and practice the essence of humanity taught to us by the one who was sent to us as a mercy to the world, our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).

So in view of all the variables that affect most of our lives in the modern world, the following is a list of ten easy things that every Muslim family can do so that we can contribute to the advancement of ourselves, the Muslim community, and humanity at large.

Once you go through the list, you can add your own things to do to it.

1. Sponsor an Orphan

Before anything else, there are hungry children everywhere who have needs right now. There are several reputable programmes that offer orphan sponsorship at a very low monthly cost.

We know that we can afford to do it. Supporting an orphan can bring us closer to the Prophet (PBUH) in Paradise.

2. Go to The Mosque at Least Once a Week For Prayer

Even if someone can’t go to the local Mosque for the Friday prayers because of their job, we can at least go for one Maghrib (evening prayer) once a week or for Zuhr (noon prayer) on the weekend.

Whatever time is suitable, we can at least take time out for this once a week with our family. This will help us and our family make the Mosque a center for activity, and our children will develop ties to the community.

If we don’t like the way the Mosque is operated, we have an opportunity to make it better by getting involved.

If someone lives in a remote area that does not have a Mosque, then pray together at home with all the family members.

3. Send Your Children to an Islamic School

If your children go to public school and there is no Islamic school nearby, then make sure they either get into some Sunday school programme.

Or, if the local Islamic Center doesn’t run it right, pool together with some like-minded families and run your own programme at somebody’s house every Saturday or Sunday and conduct it the way you think it should be done.

This is the minimum requirement for not losing our children to materialism and other social ills.

4. Buy at Least One Book, Audiobook, or Video Per Month

Have you ever wished that there were better items for you and your family’s pleasure? Unfortunately, there is not enough support for writers and artists.

People who write or produce for the Muslim market have a very difficult time sustaining themselves.

That must change if we want to see wonderful products for ourselves and our children. Just buy one product per month.

Collectively, this can encourage our creative and talented brothers and sisters to do more.

5. Become a Host Family For New Muslims

The conversion experience is basically one of isolation and loneliness. You’d be surprised to know that most converts are often ignored by the people in the Islamic Centers.

Beyond a few pleasantries and handshakes, they are usually never made to feel welcome or accepted.

They are often cut off from their non-Muslim friends and relatives, so they are doubly vulnerable.

A new convert should be invited into various people’s homes for dinner as often as possible, especially on Islamic holidays.

Get together with others and make sure you all put the new convert on your guest list for any sort of gathering.

6. Keep Extra Qur’an Translations And Literature Handy

You never know when you’ll find someone interested in learning more. Besides, our children may only understand English. Encourage the children to read the translation and discuss the Qur’an with them.

7. Invite Your Neighbors to Your Home For Dinner

Most of the time, we are so involved with our circle of friends, family, and co-workers that we forget the people who are living right next to us.

Being good to your neighbours is an important example shown to us by Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). So invite your neighbors to your house, get to know them, and let them know you.

8. Make a Big Deal Out of The Family Meal

The concept of a family meal is a dying trend. The dinner table is not only a place of sustenance and family business, but also a place for the teaching and passing on of our values.

Manners and rules are subtly absorbed at the table. Family mealtime should communicate and sustain ideals that children will draw on throughout their lives.

9. Establish an Islamic Culture in The Home

Make sure you and your family have cultural-type items in abundance in your home that are associated with Islam or Islamic culture.

Everyone in your home should have prayer beads, prayer rugs, hijabs, (even if they’re worn only for prayer), gowns, posters, wall plaques, stickers, logo shirts, Islamic screen savers on the computer, and so on. You want to establish an identity at home.

10. Be a Good Example

Face it: human beings learn and form opinions primarily through modeling. In fact, we can’t avoid being an example and model to our family, children, friends, co-workers, neighbors, and even strangers, whether good or bad. Being a good example, then, is probably our most important job.

This is by no means an exhaustive list. These are just some things that can be done with minimal trouble and fuss by each and every Muslim family.

Through these ten points, several aspects of Islam are being served, and we can feel that we are doing something in an organized fashion to help promote a healthy and constructive way of life.

At the same time, we can fulfill our responsibility to our Creator. Give it a try and see how easy these things really are.

- aboutislam.net

Muslims Send Blessings Upon Prophet Muhammad: Why Nothing After Allah’s Name?

 

Muslims Send Blessings Upon Prophet Muhammad: Why Nothing After Allah’s Name?

Your question is a valid one, which can cross the mind of anyone. In fact, when I was young, I used to wonder about this same question. The answer is related to our belief in Allah’s attributes viz. His Divinity.

In ascribing greatness, awe, and respect precisely, as and where they are due. In differentiating clearly between God’s divinity vs. the Prophet’s status among human beings.

Islam’s basic creed of monotheism teaches a Muslim how to differentiate clearly between godly and human attributes.

At the surface, it might seem as if Muslims ascribe Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) more importance. Just because they are obligated to send blessings upon him whenever his name is mentioned.

Nevertheless, that is not the case. You did well, to seek the answer to this question. This is so that you can appropriately respond to non-Muslims’ queries about it in the future.

Allah’s command in the Quran

The foremost reason why Muslims send blessings upon the Prophet is very clear. They do so in submission to the command of Allah Himself. Allah has said in the Quran:

 “Indeed, Allah confers blessing upon the Prophet, and His angels [ask Him to do so]. O you who have believed, ask [Allah to confer] blessing upon him and ask [ Allah to grant him] peace.” [33:56]

The Prophet also taught Muslims, during his life, how to submit to this command of Allah:

Narrated Abu Humaid As-Sa`idi: “The people asked, “O Allah’s Messengerﷺ! How shall we (ask Allah to) send blessings on you?” Allah’s Apostle replied, “Say: O Allah! Send Your Mercy on Muhammad and on his wives and on his off spring, as You sent Your Mercy on Abraham’s family; and send Your Blessings on Muhammad and on his offspring, as You sent Your Blessings on Abraham’s family, for You are the Most Praiseworthy, the Most Glorious.” [Sahih Al-Bukhari]

As is obvious, this matter is all about submission to Allah, over human logic. Muslims send blessings upon Prophet Muhammad whenever his name is mentioned, in order to submit to Allah’s Quranic command.

In fact, we pray for the Prophet

The salawat or blessings that Muslims send upon the Prophet, are actually beautiful prayers. Very special, unique prayers, which no one else in the world receives. Allah wants every Muslim to send these prayers to the Prophet, whenever his name is mentioned. This is because of the lofty status of Prophet Muhammad over all humankind, as Allah’s final messenger.

Allah is the one Divine, unique, all-Powerful, all-Great God, Who is absolutely self-sufficient. His greatness deems Him free of all needs, and worthy of all praise. He needs no prayers. He does not even need our worship. When we obey Him and worship Him, we benefit our own selves. So He taught us how to worship Him.

That is why, He has ordained many acts of worship for us. It pleases Him when these are sincerely performed. Some of these acts of worship are obligatory. Meaning, it incurs major sin if they are not performed. Others are supererogatory and optional. Meaning, they garner rewards when performed, but incur no sin if not.

Mentioning special phrases of praise after Allah’s name, such as subhanahu wa ta’ala, or jalla jalalahu, is not obligatory upon Muslims. Mentioning these phrases does garner rewards. However, not mentioning them is not a sin. This is because Allah has not obligated it upon us to say them whenever His name is mentioned.

Why this is so, is due to reasons only He knows best.

Clarify the difference between Who is worshiped, and how

There is one thing that any Muslim must do, whenever non-Muslims question them about Islam. And that is to clarify the difference between Who we worship, and how. This is very important because, in most other religions, divinity is ascribed to multiple gods, including some human beings.

Sending salawat is one such clear case, of Who we worship and how. We Muslims worship only Allah, the one true God. We do not worship Prophet Muhammad; just revere, respect, and love him above all other human beings. And we send blessings upon the Prophet as an act of worship, which has been commanded by and pleases, Allah.

This is an act of worship. These blessings enable Allah’s mercy to descend upon the Prophet’s soul. It also benefits the Muslim who sends these blessings. In that they are rewarded, their sins are forgiven, and they receive Allah’s mercy.

The Prophet’s right upon us

In the end, I would like to clarify another important point. In Islam, Allah has ordained certain unique rights of some human beings upon others. These rights, sometimes, obligate certain behaviors.

For example, parents have the right to utmost kind treatment and respect. Neighbors have great rights to be safe from our harm. Certain blood relatives have the right to receive affixed portions from our inheritance after we die.

It is Allah Who has obligated all of these rights of others upon us, based upon His wisdom.

In lieu of this, the Prophet has a unique and great right upon all Muslims. That they send blessings upon him whenever his name is mentioned. This distinct right of his has been, like others’ rights in Islam, ordained by Allah.

So we submit to and obey Allah, in this regard.

And Allah knows best.

- aboutislam.net

About Sadaf Farooqi

Sadaf Farooqi is an author, blogger and freelance writer based in Karachi, Pakistan. To date, Sadaf has authored over 300 original articles, most of which can be accessed on her blog, "Sadaf's Space" (sadaffarooqi.wordpress.com). She has recently started self-publishing her past articles as non-fiction Islamic books, which are available on Amazon and Kindle (www.amazon.com/author/sadaffarooqi)