10 Beautiful Duas of Prophet Muhammad

 

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was constant in remembering and supplicating Allah Almighty.

There are so many duas that Prophet Muhammad used to say in his daily life, but here, we selected some beautiful ones:

He would supplicate Him in every situation and in all circumstances and he used to teach his companions to do so because remembering Allah means linking and connecting to Him.

Allah’s Love

1- “O Allah grant me Your love and the love of those whose love will benefit me with You. O Allah, whatever you have provided me of that which I love, then make it strength for me for that which You love. O Allah, and what you have kept from me of that which I love, then make it for me a period of rest in that which You love.

(Allahumma rzuqni ḥubbuka, wa ḥubba man yanfa`uni ḥubbuhu `indak. Allahumma ma razaqtani mimma uḥibbu faj’alhu quwwatan li fima tuḥibb. Allahumma wa ma zawaita `anni mimma uḥibbu faj’alhu faraghan li fima tuḥibb). “ (Tirmidhi)

2- Anas said:

“The supplication that the Prophet made very frequently is this:

“O Allah, grant us the good in this world and the good in the Hereafter and save us from the torment of Hell-Fire.” (Muslim)

(Allahumma atina fi dunya hasanatan wa fil akhirati hasanatan wa qina ‘adhaba annar.)

Seeking Refuge & Protection

3- Narrated Sa`d bin Abi Waqqas:

The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to teach us these words as he used to teach us the Book (Quran):

“O Allah! I seek refuge with You from miserliness, and seek refuge with You from cowardice, and seek refuge with You from being brought back to (senile) geriatric old age, and seek refuge with You from the affliction of the world and from the punishment in the Hereafter.” (Bukhari)

“Allahumma inni a’oodhu bika min-al-bukhl wa a’oodhu bika min-al jubn, wa a’oodhu bika min an noradda ila ardhali al omr, wa a’oodhu bika min fitnati dunya, wa ‘adhabi-l Qabr.”

Guidance & Forgiveness

4- “O Allah! Indeed I, I ask of You, guidance, piety and chastity and to be free of depending upon anyone (except You)” (Muslim) 

Allahumma inni as’alukal l-huda wattuqa wal ‘afafa wal ghina.

 5- “O Allah! Forgive all my sins, whether few or more, the first and the last, the apparent and the hidden.” (Muslim) 

Allahumma ighfirli dhambi kullahu diqqahu wa jillahu wa awwalahu wa akhirahu wa ‘alaniyatahu wa sirrahu.

6- “O Allah! The One Who turns the hearts, turn my heart towards Your obedience.” (Muslim) 

Ya musarrifa-l quloobi sarrif qalbi ala ta’atik.

Beneficial Knowledge

7- “O Allah! Benefit me through what You teach me and teach me what is beneficial for me and increase me in knowledge.” (Ibn Majah) 

Allahumm anfa’ni bima ‘allamtani wa ‘allimni ma yanfa’ni wa zidni ‘ilma.

8- “Allahumma inni a’udhu bika min zawali ni’matika, wa tahawwuli ‘afiyatika, wa fuja’ati niqmatika, wa jami’i sakhatika“

(O Allah! I seek refuge in You against the declining of Your Favours, passing of safety, the suddenness of Your punishment and all that which displeases You).

9- Ibn Mas’ud (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

One of the supplications of the Messenger of Allah was:

“Allahumma inni as’aluka mujibati rahmatika, wa ‘aza’ima maghfiratika, was-salamata min kulli ithmin, wal-ghanimata min kulli birrin, wal-fawza bil- jannati, wannajata mina-nar.”

(O Allah! I beg You for that which incites Your Mercy and the means of Your forgiveness, safety from every sin, the benefit from every good deed, success in attaining Jannah and deliverance from Fire).

10- Ibn ‘Abbas (May Allah be pleased with them) said:

 

The Messenger of Allah used to say when he was in distress:

“La ilaha illallahul-Azimul-Halim. La ilaha illallahu Rabbul-‘Arshil-‘Azim. La ilaha illallahu Rabbus-samawati, wa Rabbul-ardi, wa Rabbul-‘Arshil- Karim.”

(None has the right to be worshipped but Allah the Incomparably Great, the Compassionate. None has the right to be worshipped but Allah the Rubb of the Mighty Throne. None has the right to be worshipped but Allah the Rubb of the heavens, the Rubb of the earth, and the Rubb of the Honourable Throne).

(From Discovering Islam archive)

- aboutislam.net

Reconciling People

 

The difference between people is a factual reality and part of the human natural disposition given people’s different morals and natures, and due to their contention and vying for worldly gains like wealth, status and the like. Allah, The Exalted, Says (what means): {And if your Lord had willed, He could have made mankind one community; but they will not cease to differ. * Except whom your Lord has given mercy...} [Quran 11:118-119] Ibn Katheer  said: “It means that people will always differ in their religions, creeds, ideologies, affiliations and opinions.” However, such difference should not lead to conflict, breaking off ties and discord.

Many of the disagreements and problems that occur between a Muslim and his fellow Muslim, a husband and his wife, or between friends could be traced back to the ill thoughts and doubts that the devil casts in people’s hearts and they yield to them, causing enmity, dissension and discord among them. The Prophet  referred to that when he said: “Satan despaired of ever being worshipped by the people of Arabia, but he is still hopeful that he would incite them against each other.” [Muslim] At-Teebi  said: “It means causing dissension, enmity and killing among them.” It was narrated on the authority of Jaabir ibn ‘Abdullaah, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Prophet  said: “Satan places his throne on the water, then he sends his troops to people; the closest of them in position to him is the one who causes the most mischief. One of them comes to him and says: ‘I did such and such.’ Satan responds: ‘You have done nothing.’ (This process continues) until one (devil) comes and says: ‘I did not leave so-and-so until I separated between him and his wife.’ Thereupon, Satan brings him close to him and says: ‘You have done well!’” [Muslim] Al-Qaadhi ‘Iyaadh  said: “You are the one means, ‘You are the one who has caused serious damage and achieved the greatest accomplishment.’ It may also mean, ‘You are the one who sufficed me and fulfilled my desire,’ or ‘You are the dearest to me,’ or ‘You are the closest to me of all my messengers’ ... or ‘You are the daring and pleasing one,’ and the like. His remark is indicative of the gravity of separating spouses or divorce, its serious harm and evil, and the seriousness of the sin of seeking to separate the spouses as it involves severing the solemn bond that Allah, The Exalted, has commanded to maintain, breaking up a relationship in which Allah instilled mutual mercy and affection, destroying a family founded on Islam and making the disputants vulnerable to incurring sin.”

The Seerah (biography) of the Prophet  abounds in incidents and Ahaadeeth that indicate the prohibition of discord and the warning against it, commanding and urging Muslims to seek to reconcile disputing people, as it involves upholding the ties of kinship that were severed and strengthening the bonds of brotherhood and companionship that were weakened.

Prophet’s Warnings against Disagreement and Dispute:

To underline the gravity of rancor and discord between Muslim brothers, it is sufficient to say that it prevents attaining the forgiveness of Allah, The Exalted. It was narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Prophet  said: “The gates of Paradise are opened on Mondays and Thursdays. Every Muslim who does not associate anything with Allah is granted forgiveness except a man who has enmity between him and his brother. It would be said: Delay these two until they reconcile; delay these two until they reconcile!” [Muslim] An-Nawawi  said: “His saying ‘delay these two’ means delay the forgiveness of their sins until they reconcile and restore mutual affection.” It was narrated on the authority of Abu Ayyoob Al-Ansaari, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Prophet  said: “It is unlawful for a Muslim to forsake his fellow Muslim for more than three nights. When they meet, each of them turns his face away from the other. The better of the two is he who initiates the greeting of peace (i.e., initiates reconciliation).” [Al-Bukhari] He  also said: “Whoever forsakes his (Muslim) brother for a year is like one who sheds his blood.” [Abu Daawood, Al-Albaani: authentic]

A distinction should be made between forsaking one’s Muslim brother for the Sake of Allah, The Exalted, (i.e., for religious reasons) and forsaking him for the sake of oneself (i.e., for worldly reasons). The first is enjoined, when the due conditions and Sharee‘ah guidelines of forsaking one’s Muslim brother are observed, and if it is hoped to yield its desired purpose and benefit; whereas the second (forsaking him for worldly reasons) is forbidden because the believers are brothers. The Prophet  said: “Do not nurse grudge against one another; do not envy one another; do not turn your back on one another (in discontent and enmity); (but) be slaves of Allah as brothers. It is unlawful for a Muslim to forsake his (fellow Muslim) brother for more than three (days).” [Muslim]

Endeavoring to Reconcile Disputing People:

Reconciling people is better than performing voluntary acts of worship, because it involves spreading love and affection among people, and this brings happiness to the individuals’ hearts and enhances the strength and cohesion of the society. There is no doubt that reconciliation is better than dissension, upholding the ties of kinship is better than severing them, and love is better than hatred. It was narrated on the authority of Abu Ad-Dardaa’, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Prophet  said: “Should I not tell you what is better in degree than prayer, fasting and charity.” They (the Companions) said: “Yes, please do.” He said: “Reconciling people, for grudges and disputes are the razor (that shaves faith).” Another version reads: “I do not mean that they shave hair but they rather shave religiosity.” [At-Tirmithi, Al-Albaani: authentic]

Reconciling people means eliminating the causes of dispute and conflict by means of mutual forgiveness and pardon or by conciliation. At-Teebi  said: “The Hadeeth urges reconciling people and avoiding spoiling their relationships, because reconciliation is a reason for holding firmly to the rope of Allah, the Exalted, and avoiding disunity among Muslims, whereas grudges and disputes are a crack in a person’s religiosity. Whoever endeavors to reconcile people and eliminate the harm of dispute will attain a degree that is greater than that of a person who offers much fasting and night prayers and is preoccupied with his own benefit only.”

When the Prophet  learned that some of his Companions in Qubaa’ had a disagreement, he went to reconcile them. It was narrated on the authority of Sahl ibn Sa‘d as-Saa‘idi, may Allah be pleased with him, that he said: “Once the people of Qubaa’ fought together till they threw stones at each other. When the Prophet  was informed of it, he said: ‘Let us go to reconcile them.’” [Al-Bukhari]

Ibn Hajar  said in Fat-h Al-Baari: “Among the lessons deduced from this Hadeeth is the virtue of reconciling people, unifying the members of a group, and resolving disputes. It is also inferred therefrom that the Imaam (ruler) may go personally to his subjects for this reason, and that the like of this may be given priority over leading the prayers himself.” Ibn Battaal  said: “The Hadeeth reflects how the Prophet  was humble, caring, and keen to resolve disagreements and eliminate the causes of disunity and dissention among his Ummah as Allah, The Exalted, described him.”

It was narrated on the authority of ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allah be pleased with him, that: “The husband of Bareerah was a black slave called Mugheeth, as if I am seeing him now, following her and weeping with his tears flowing down his beard. The Prophet  said to ‘Abbaas, ‘O ‘Abbaas! Are you not astonished by the love of Mugheeth for Bareerah and the hatred of Bareerah for Mugheeth?’ The Prophet  then said to Bareerah: ‘Why don’t you return to him (remarry him)?’ She said, ‘O Messenger of Allah! Do you command me to do so?’ He said: ‘No, I am only interceding for him.’” [Al-Bukhari]

Ibn Hajar  said: “His statement, ‘I am only interceding for him,’ means I am only interceding with you for his sake and I am not commanding you to do so.” Ibn Battaal  said: “At-Tabari said, ‘A Fiqh ruling deduced from this Hadeeth is that it is permissible for the scholar and the Caliph to intercede for the sake of people, offer them their help, and fulfil the needs of those who ask for it, and that it is a manifestation of noble morals. The Prophet  said: ‘Intercede for people and you shall earn a reward.’”

Permissibility of Lying to Reconcile Disputing People:

Given the importance of reconciling people, the Prophet  permitted lying to reconcile disputing people, such as the case when one tells one of them that the other person is praising and lauding him while he did not actually say that. It was narrated on the authority of Umm Kulthoom bint ‘Uqbah, may Allah be pleased with her, that the Prophet  said: “He is not a liar, he who tries to reconcile people so he says what is good or exaggerates what is good.” [Al-Bukhari]

Ibn Al-‘Arabi  said: “Lying in this situation and similar ones is permissible according to the relevant text and this is a manifestation of the divine mercy for Muslims given their need for it.” It was narrated on the authority of Asmaa’ bint Yazeed, may Allah be pleased with her, that the Prophet  said: “Lying is unlawful except in three cases: when a man speaks to his wife to please her, lying in war, and lying to reconcile people.” [At-Tirmithi, Al-Albaani: authentic]

Lying to one’s spouse here means lying regarding the expression of love and affection to perpetuate intimacy and maintain the stability of the family, and it does not mean lying that leads to violating the rights of one’s spouse or avoiding the enjoined fulfilment of their duties towards one another and the like. An-Nawawi  said: “As for his lying to his spouse, it means to lie regarding the expression of love and promising to do what is not obligatory, and the like. As for deception to withhold the rights of one another or take what he or she is not entitled to, lying in these cases is prohibited according to the consensus of Muslims, and Allah knows best.”

Reconciling people is one of the noble morals and virtuous qualities of our Prophet  and he urged us through his words and deeds to keenly reconcile people, because reconciling people is a reason for reforming the individual and the society. So, glad tidings are for those whom Allah, The Exalted, brings good at their hands and makes them means to reconcile disputing people. The Prophet  said: “Should I not tell you what is better in degree than prayer, fasting and charity?” They (the Companions) said: “Yes, please do.” He said: “Reconciling people.” He  also said: “Verily, some people are keys to good and locks to evil, and, verily, some people are keys to evil and locks to good. Glad tidings to those in whose hands Allah places the keys to good, and woe to those in whose hands Allah places the keys to evil.” [Ibn Maajah and Al-Albaani: Hasan] - islamweb.net

Wonders of the Soul – Things You May Not Know

 

Know that character is different from action. A character trait is a set condition of the soul, while an action is simply an intentional movement of the body.

Attributes of the Soul

A stingy person may give money on occasion but that does not make them generous. Generosity is a character trait when giving money is pleasurable.

Just as the body has distinct organs and parts, the soul has distinct attributes: The rational, predatory, and bestial attributes.

Beautiful character occurs when the souls’ attributes are balanced:

The rational attribute is the ability to reason, for example distinguishing truth from falsehood:

When deficient, it leads to stupidity, and when excessive to swindling and fraud.

The predatory attribute is the quality of anger:

When deficient it leads to Corrodes, and when excessive to recklessness.

The bestial attribute is that of appetite and desire:

When deficient it leads to indifference, and when excessive to gluttony.

Finally, when the predatory and bestial attributes are set under the command of the intellect, it leads to the fourth virtue: Justice.

When the attributes are balanced, the rational leads to wisdom; the predatory to courage; and the bestial to restraint.

It is easier for the soul to rest in the extremes of the various attributes either in deficiency or in excess. However, the middle path, while more difficult, is the necessary path for good character.

The soul falls sick when its attributes are out of balance, and as a result, the heart becomes incapable of loving God.

The heart can be treated by means of spiritual struggle.

The medicine for ugly character is to force the soul to perform actions that directly counter the flawed character trait.

However, different diseases of the heart require different cures, just as a physician cannot treat all patients with the same medicine; and as with the body, the heart requires medicine only until the symptom goes away and balance is restored.

For example, a stingy person should oblige himself to give continuously until it becomes easy to do so. Stinginess is cured when it is more pleasurable for one to give money than to keep it

The path to a disciplined soul starts with aspiring the desire to come to the truth through inner struggle.

How to Discipline the Soul

One must struggle to keep the soul under the command of the intellect.

The only way to discipline the soul is by denying destructive pleasures through renouncing one’s desires.

These desires create barriers between the person and truth: Wealth lifted by ridding oneself of the unnecessary; prestige lifted by distancing oneself from it; conformism lifted by renouncing one’s blind imitations; and sin lifted by repentance and avoiding previous mistakes.

Once these barriers are lifted, one needs to build a fortress around themselves to maintain a just equilibrium among the attributes of the soul.

About Abu Hamid Al-Ghazali

Abu Hamid Al-Ghazali (1058-1111) is one of the greatest Islamic Jurists, theologians and mystical thinkers. Al-Ghazali wrote many works on theology and philosophy like al-Iqtisad fi'I-i`tiqad (The Middle Path in Theology), al-Risala al-Qudsiyya (The Jerusalem Epistle), Ihya’ ‘ulum al-din (The Revival of the Religious Sciences)

- aboutislam.net

What Makes Month of Rajab So Sacred?

 

The late prominent Muslim scholar, Sheikh Ahmad Ash-Sharabasi, Professor of Islamic Creed and Philosophy at Al-Azhar University, stated,

The month of Rajab is one of the Arab and Islamic Hijri lunar months. The word rajab is derived from the word tarjib, which, in Arabic, indicates glorification. The reason behind this name may be the high esteem Arabs used to confer upon this month.

The Sacred Rajab

This was a customary and traditional practice that people used to observe for ages. The glorious Quran referred to the Sacred Months in Surat of At-Tawbah, in which Almighty Allah says,

The month of Rajab is also called Rajab Al-Haram (Arabic for: the Sacred Rajab), because it is one of the four Sacred Months, during which fighting is prohibited.

{Verily, the number of months with Allah is twelve months (in a year), so was it ordained by Allah on the Day when He created the heavens and the earth; of them, four are Sacred. That is the right religion, so wrong not yourselves therein.} (At-Tawbah 9:36)

These Sacred Months are Dhul-Qidah, Dhul-Hijjah, Muharram, and Rajab. That is why Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said, “Time has come back to its original state, which it had when Allah created the heavens and the earth. The year is twelve months, of which four are sacred: Three are in succession, namely, Dhul-Qidah, Dhul-Hijjah, and Muharram, and (the fourth one) Rajab (of the tribe of) Mudar, which is between Jumada (Thani) and Sha`ban.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

The Solitary Rajab

The month of Rajab is also called Rajab Al-Fard (Arabic for: the Solitary Rajab) because it is separated from the other three successive Sacred months, namely, Dhul-Qidah, Dhul-Hijjah and Muharram; The month of Rajab comes five months after them.

Rajab Mudar

The month of Rajab has another name, which is Rajab Mudar, according to a hadith in which the Prophet said, “And (the fourth one) Rajab (of the tribe of) Mudar, which is between Jumada (Thani) and Sha`ban.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Mudar is an Arab tribe and Rajab is named after it, because that tribe used to give much respect to this month and protect its sanctity.

Month of Al-Israa and Al-Miraj

Rajab witnessed the occurrence of Al-Israa and Al-Miraj, the miraculous night journey and the Prophet’s ascension to the heavens, with which Almighty Allah honored Prophet Muhammad.

In reference to this journey, Almighty Allah states, {Glorified be He [Allah] Who took His servant [Prophet Muhammad[ for a journey by night from Al-Masjid Al-Haram [at Makkah] to the farthest mosque [Al-Aqsa Mosque in Jerusalem], the neighborhood whereof We have blessed, in order that We might show him [Muhammad[ of Our signs. Verily, He [Allah] is the All-Hearer, the All-Seer.} (Al-Israa 17:1)

The miracle of Al-Israa was intended to honor the Messenger, strengthen his heart, and to show him the kingdom of heavens and earth. It was also meant to comfort the Prophet after the deaths of his uncle Abu Talib and his wife Khadijah in the Year of Sadness, and after the suffering he had experienced in At-Taif where its people assaulted him.

The Quran refers to Al-Miraj (Prophet’s Muhammad ascension to the heavens), “While he [Angel Gabriel)] was in the highest part of the horizon. He approached and came closer and was at a distance of two bows’ length or (even) nearer. So did [Allah] convey the Inspiration to His servant [Prophet Muhammad]. The (Prophet’s) heart lied not (in seeing) what he (Muhammad) saw. Will you then dispute with him about what he saw [during Al-Mi`raj]. And indeed he (Muhammad) saw him [Angel Gabriel] at a second descent (i.e. another time). Near Sidrat Al-Muntaha [lote-tree of the utmost boundary (beyond which none can pass)]. Near it is the Paradise of Abode. When that covered the lote-tree, which did cover it! The sight (of Prophet Muhammad) turned not aside (right or left), nor it transgressed beyond (the) limit (ordained for it). Indeed he (Muhammad) did see, of the Greatest Signs, of his Lord (Allah)” (An-Najm 53:7-18)

Significance of al-Israa

The miracle of Al-Israa reminds us of the usurped and occupied land of Palestine, Al-Quds (Jerusalem), and Al-Aqsa Mosque. This event should also remind us of our duty toward liberating this land and its people from tyranny and oppression.

It is a duty upon every Muslim, when recalling the memories of the month of Rajab, to exert him or herself for liberating usurped places of Islam.

We should always remember the Prophet’s hadith stating, “Do not set out on a journey except for three Mosques: Al-Masjid Al-Haram, this mosque of mine (in Madinah), and Al-Aqsa Mosque in Jerusalem.” (Muslim)

Allah Almighty knows best.

Editor’s note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholar’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.

About Sheikh Ahmad Ash-Sharabasi

late Professor of Islamic Creed and Philosophy at Al-Azhar University

- aboutislam.net

Becoming a Muslim

 

It is hard to find adequate words to describe guidance and the feeling of faith when it first enters the heart.

But Mallory Jenkins, a 22-year-old from Missouri, describes it perfectly: “I feel at peace!” It has been six weeks since Mallory took her shahadah and the feeling is still fresh.

That feeling of new iman is perhaps best described by the newly Muslim. It is like the blind person describing what they are seeing at first sight. It brings a renewed appreciation for those who have always seen and have taken it for granted.

Mallory says:

“I think the beauty and sanctity of religion is that it is pure, and we are not; Islam was the religion I knew I could become a pious and pure person through. I could see all the ways I was flawed and all the ways Islam- through practice- could help me come back to Allah SWT. In regards to beliefs of Islam- it just clicked.”

Mallory’s Path

She recalls that her journey in faith started with heartbreak: “When I was nine years old I remember my mother telling me that my grandmother (whom I was incredibly close to) had lost her battle with cancer. I ran upstairs crying and thinking there couldn’t possibly be a God. Who would do such a cruel thing to such a wonderful human being? I had struggled with my faith ever since that day.”

Mallory’s path to Islam, like many of those who convert, was one fraught with challenges, disappointment, and pain.

The death of her grandmother profoundly impacted her young life. But Mallory continued to face challenges. In high school she began sneaking out of the house, failing classes, self-harming; and more recently, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and anxiety. But she found answers and direction in a different path.

Mallory explains:

“I think as somebody that has bipolar disorder, there’s a lot of things I struggle with. Structure, routines, promiscuity, mood. Looking at things from a practice perspective, it [Islam] fit everything I felt I was missing or struggling with in my life.

Salat helps keep me on a routine and regulate my mood, hijab makes me feel more comfortable interacting with men, and reverting and observing Ramadan has truly helped me changed my mindset and acquire patience.”

Finding Islam

When asked how she learned about Islam, Mallory said, “I don’t really know what brought me to Islam, other than the Will of Allah SWT!”

Before accepting Islam, Mallory’s life spun out of control. She says:

“I thought I was living my best life until all of my partying put me in the worst situation of my life. Once that event happened I was forced to take a step back and seriously evaluate the decisions I was making in my life.”

After this experience, she took stock of her feelings about faith.

“When I forced myself to evaluate where I stood on faith and religion,” Mallory explains, “I decided that fundamentally I couldn’t get behind Christianity as a whole. […then] I started learning [about other faiths] by watching lectures on YouTube and purchasing books on Amazon. My favorite resource actually ended up being a Muslim”

Life After Shahadah

“ALL off my immediate and extended family on both sides are Catholic. To make things super fun, my mother is also my manager at work. I choose to hijab almost all the time when I’m outside of the home, but when I’m at work I don’t […] I don’t want to take it off. But I do for my mother’s sake, because I know she isn’t ready to see me in hijab yet.”After the shahadah, there are many changes and challenges that new Muslims face, including their family’s reaction. Mallory is facing this challenge now, as she says:

However, Mallory sees hope for the future.

“My parents and siblings are slowly coming around to it, but it’s taking time,” she explains. “It’s a hard balance between trying to be respectful of them and also being true to my religion. For example, at family night, I will do salat in a spare bedroom so they won’t be uncomfortable and that isn’t a huge deal to me. And my mother makes sure there isn’t any pork in whatever we do for dinner.”

In addition to family, community is another adjustment new Muslims face. Finding a place in their new faith community can be surprising in both positive and negative ways. For Mallory, it has been a pleasant experience.

“When I finally did [connected with Muslim sisters], I experienced how warm and open the community was!”

Finding Muslim woman to connect with locally and becoming a part of a new community has been eye opening for Mallory:

“I always thought the Muslim community just kept to themselves because of all the hate people spewed towards them […] I realized the reason I had trouble finding sisters was because I was too afraid to find them. It really opened my eyes to how we’re subconsciously prejudice in America. I was disappointed in myself but now it makes me have a deeper understanding for why hijabis get stares so much.”

Mallory wears hijab as much as she can, and when she does, she sees the stares from strangers as an opportunity.

She explains:

“I think it’s great that people look; I tell my husband to meet their stares with smiles- let them know it’s okay to process what they’re seeing! Every moment somebody stares at me is another moment their brain gets to tear down some ridiculously perpetuated stereotype. Permission to be awkward= granted.”

Advice for Those Thinking About Islam

“Take it at your own pace! […] My pace is fast, and that’s okay! My husband’s is much slower, and that’s okay, too!”

When asked if there was any advice she would like to give to people on the brink of becoming Muslim, she had some wise words to impart:

In addition, Mallory advises people studying Islam to seek answers from Muslims. She says, “[…] don’t be afraid to reach out to people or ask questions! The very first hijabs I bought were from a woman I met in Target […] Turned out later that she never goes to that store and just happened to be there that day, and I didn’t find what I was looking for- all that either of us left with were each other’s phone numbers! Now I have scarves from her and a new friend. Masha’Allah!”

(From Discovering Islam archive)

About Theresa Corbin

Theresa Corbin is the author of The Islamic, Adult Coloring Book and co-author of The New Muslim’s Field Guide. Corbin is a French-creole American and Muslimah who converted in 2001. She holds a BA in English Lit and is a writer, editor, and graphic artist who focuses on themes of conversion to Islam, Islamophobia, women's issues, and bridging gaps between peoples of different faiths and cultures. She is a regular contributor for AboutIslam.net and Al Jumuah magazine. Her work has also been featured on CNN and Washington Post, among other publications. Visit her blog, islamwich, where she discusses the intersection of culture and religion.

-aboutislam.net

My Bittersweet Hijab

 

“You don’t need this.” These are the words that will probably always represent my first experience with hijab. Though I was only four years old and in kindergarten, my mother would cover my hair with a headscarf before I left to school each morning.

My former Christian parents accepted Islam the year I was born, and they wanted their children to be known as Muslims when they went to American public school.

But my kindergarten teacher had “better” ideas. Each day that I arrived at school, she would call me to her desk and remove my head cover, saying, “You don’t need this.” Then, at the end of the school day, she’d call me back to her desk to put my scarf back on before I returned home to my parents.

Yes, I was confused a bit, but I’d shrug it off because in my four-year-old world, adults always knew best. And it wasn’t until years later that it occurred to me that this was something I should’ve talked to my parents about.

‘Finally, Someone Will Help Me’

It certainly wasn’t easy going to school each day looking different from all the other girls. The kids poked fun at me, and it was a daily routine for them to snatch off my scarf and toss it around just for fun—while the teachers looked on without even a word of reprimand to the students.

In fact, the only time I recall a teacher intervening was when I was in fourth grade and was outside for recess, and I fought the boy who snatched off my scarf and threw it in the dirt. When I saw my teacher approaching, I felt relieved. Finally, someone will help me, I thought.

But she promptly proceeded to take only me inside the building—for punishment. And I had to sit in the hall alone for the rest of the day—“to teach me a lesson.”

I Knew I Was Different

I think one of the greatest benefits I gained from my experience covering my hair in American public school was the ever present knowledge that I was different from others.

I often shudder at the thought of where I would be had my parents not required me to cover my hair from young. The Muslim girls whose parents put them in public school and believed “they can wait till puberty” faced a difficult sudden life change at the onset of menses.

While some might think that’s a heavy burden for a child to carry, my experience has taught me it’s the other way around: Those Muslims who had the “luxury” of blending in with peers carried the greatest burden, and I witnessed their pain and confusion firsthand. Some of them are not even Muslim today.

One day they were just “normal Jane” and the next day, literally, they had to come to school looking like some crazy fanatic from the deserts of Arabia (as others would see it). Needless to say, many of these girls had an extremely difficult time making this transition.

So many did what could only be expected of a youth in the height of puberty when self-image and what others think is exaggerated in one’s mind: They did to themselves what my kindergarten teacher did to me.

They told themselves, “You don’t need this hijab.” And they wore hijab on their way out the door and promptly removed the headscarf when they arrived at school—then put it back on before returning home.

I know it’s probably the corniest, most cliché thing to say. But it’s true. I love hijab. And it’s not because it’s easy to wear it in America (as my public school experiences clearly show). And it’s certainly not because of all those annoying reasons so many Muslims attach to making things easy for men.

So many things are pulling at us, and it’s hard enough walking around as the poster child for Islam while the boys effectively “blend in.”

Truth be told, I think that encouraging girls to love hijab because men’s sexual desires will be less intense is one of the most dangerous, damaging things—psychologically and spiritually—you can do to a Muslim girl, especially living in the West.

And if a Muslim girl gets weak, she can’t hide her faults so easily—because she has only one of two options: wear hijab and announce to others that you’re hijabi and human (and that’s just unthinkable) or remove hijab and announce to others that you’re a “bad Muslim” (which is the only category many Muslims imagine non-hijabis can be in).

And then on top of that, we want to give girls the added burden of loving hijab because it benefits someone else! No thank you. I love hijab because it benefits me. Sorry, but when it comes to my soul, I get a bit selfish. And I think other girls should too. And it starts with building a relationship between you and Allah—forget the rest of the world.

‘She Removed Hijab to Get Closer to Allah’

If I’d heard this ten years ago, I’d probably have scoffed at it. How could someone remove their hijab to get closer to Allah? Certainly, you can’t disobey Allah for the sake of Allah.

And I agree.

But that’s the teachings of Allah and His Messenger, peace be upon him. Unfortunately, some Muslims have different teachings. No, no one says outright that you’ll get closer to Allah by removing the hijab. But our constant harassment of women who wear hijab sends that very message.

No matter what style of hijab women wear, we somehow end up getting harassed—by Muslims. And nope, even wearing the niqaab (the face veil) won’t solve this one.

As I discussed in my blog, ‘But She Looks So Good’: When Men’s Desires Rule: Even when I myself wore all-black, niqaab, and an over-the-head abaya, I was constantly told I should cover my eyes too. Why? Because I wasn’t covered “enough”…not for Allah, but for the men with insatiable sexual appetites for whom my eyes—which I actually needed unobstructed to see where I was going—were just too much temptation.

So because of the constant harassment from Muslims and the constant discrimination from non-Muslims, a friend of mine removed her hijab “just to have some peace.” And what does she say about her faith today? “I feel closer to Allah.” Why? Because she feels she can worship her Creator without being bothered—by Muslims or non-Muslims.

The Muslims don’t know she’s Muslim, so they don’t harass her about how faulty her hijab is, and the non-Muslims don’t know she’s Muslim so they don’t make fun of her Islam.

This Bittersweet Hijab

And no matter how faulty this logic is by Islamic standards, it’s difficult to argue against its logic by worldly standards. So the only solution is to stop the harassment of Muslim women—especially those who wear hijab, regardless of whether or not it’s the type of hijab you personally approve of.

Though I love hijab, I still struggle with it in America. No, thankfully, my struggles are not so serious that I’ve ever wished to remove it. But I struggle with the fears I have for my daughter and other girls coming up in this society—and in the entire Muslim world.

On the one hand, I fear they’ll face people like my kindergarten teacher, the “You don’t need this” non-Muslims of the world. More tragically, I fear they’ll face the “Your hijab is never good enough” Muslims of the world who seem to be on a mission to make sure no Muslim woman feels comfortable obeying Allah the best she knows how.

And while I remain hopeful because wearing hijab is a beautiful, freeing experience for a woman, I also remain fearful because the hijab is viewed as a “blessing” only if we’re able to ignore the discouraging messages of non-Muslims and Muslims, who make women feel like wearing hijab is just one big headache.

And while the hijab certainly is not a headache, people criticizing women definitely give them one. And this struggle with people just makes it that much more tempting for Muslim girls to say to themselves, “You don’t need this”—and by it, mean much more than the hijab.

This article is from our archive, originally published on an earlier date, and now highlighted for its importance.

About Umm Zakiyyah

Umm Zakiyyah is the internationally acclaimed author of the If I Should Speak trilogy and the novels Realities of Submission and Hearts We Lost. To learn more about the author, visit ummzakiyyah.com or subscribe to her YouTube channel.

-aboutislam.net