Getting Ready for Ramadan: Here’s When Rajab 1446 Starts

 

Rajab, the 7th Hijri month of the lunar Hijri calendar, is expected to start on Wednesday, January 1, according to astronomical calculations.

“The Astronomical New Moon (conjunction) is on December 30, 2024 (Monday) at 22:27 UT,” Moonsighting.com reported.

“On December 30, the moon can not be seen any where. On December 31, the moon can be seen in most of the world except Australia and Northern Europe.”

Rajab is regarded as one of the four sacred months in Islam in which warfare is prohibited. 

The month is very special for Muslims as it’s a prelude to Ramadan, the 9^th Hijri month; “O Allah, make the months of Rajab and Sha’ban blessed for us, and let us reach the month of Ramadan (i.e. prolong our life up to Ramadan, so that we may benefit from its merits and blessings).”

The Hijri calendar is a lunar calendar. Its months begin when the first crescent of a new moon is sighted. Since the lunar year is 11 to 12 days shorter than the solar year, Rajab migrates throughout the seasons.

Check the following astronomical maps to discover the beginning of Rajab, 1446 at your location.

- aboutislam.net

Does the Quran Command Women to Cover Their Hair?

 

The Islamic Dress Code: A Divine Etiquette for Modesty

It is a mercy from Allah that He taught us what etiquette would be best for society. Within those teachings, He has mandated a dress code for both men and women.

However, with the increasing pressure of the modern fashion industry, the Islamic dress code for women in particular is being questioned by many Muslims. I have observed many people arguing that it is not an obligation for a woman to cover her head [this is known today as wearing hijab].

In fact, I myself used to argue the same position prior to embarking on a more detailed study of Islam.

• One of the arguments commonly used for such a position is that the verse does not specifically say to cover the hair but rather speaks of only covering the chest.
• Another argument used is that the word hijab, which is commonly used for headscarf nowadays, doesn’t mean headscarf in the Quran.
• A third argument is the assumption that the issue of women covering their hair is open to different interpretations and it is, therefore, a matter of valid scholarly disagreement whether it is an obligation or merely a recommendation.

None of the aforementioned arguments are strong. Covering the hair for a woman is a clear obligation in Islam and she will be sinful for abandoning the practice, unless there are extreme circumstances which warrant an exception to the general rule.

It is very important for every Muslim to know the dress code that is required of them so they will be accurately practicing the teachings of Islam.

Analyzing the Quranic Verse on Women’s Head Covering

The Quranic verse obligating women to cover their hair is as follows: {Tell the believing women to…draw their headscarves over their chests…} (An-Nur 24:31)

Different translations of the Quran have rendered the Arabic word khumur [singular: khimar] as ‘veils’ [Yusuf Ali], ‘scarves’ [Abdul Majid Daryabadi] and ‘shawls’ [Taqi Usmani].

Even though it is common to use the word hijab nowadays to refer to the headscarf, the word used in the Quran was khimar. It is important to understand that the word used only has the meaning of a headscarf, and not any other article of clothing. It cannot refer to a scarf that is draped around the neck nor to a shawl that is used to cover other parts of the body.

The word khimar [meaning headscarf] is similar to the word ‘hat’. Both of them are used to cover the head. Therefore, if someone were to say, “make sure your hat covers your ears,” the covering of the head would automatically be implied in the sentence because that is what the function of a hat is.

Were someone to argue that since the head was not explicitly mentioned, they could dangle a hat off each ear and this would fulfill what the speaker said, it would be dismissed as ridiculous. Likewise is the case of someone who assumes the verse is telling women to use a headscarf to only cover their chest area and not their head. This should serve as a sufficient answer to people who ask, “Where does Allah tell women to cover the hair in the Quran?”

The Historical Context of Head Covering in Arabia

One might ask why Allah used this manner of speaking. Why didn’t He just mention that women must cover their hair, in plain and clear wording, so that there would be no confusion among people today?

In order to answer such a question, the historical context in which the Quran was revealed must be understood. Women in many parts of the world used to cover their hair.
In Arabia, they used a headscarf which would cover their hair and then they would drape the ends of that scarf behind their shoulders. The verse clarified to women that this is not sufficient for modesty because the neck and upper-chest areas are exposed, so they must drape their headscarves over their chest areas to make sure that part is covered as well.

Since women were already covering their head, there was no need to tell them to cover it again. The case is similar to a corporation that tells their employees the dress code at work requires everyone to ensure that their shirt is buttoned up to the top so that the upper-chest area is not exposed. It is common culture for people to already wear shirts to work, so there is no need to explain to these employees that the shirt must cover their entire back, stomach and chest areas: that would be redundant and unnecessary.

Another angle to look at this issue from is to consider what the implications of the contrary argument would be. I have personally heard several people arguing that the ‘chest’ referred to in the verse is speaking about the breasts of a woman.

The argument goes that Arab women used to not cover their breasts in public and the verse is ordering them to cover up.

If this was the case, and if the verse required only covering the chest, as is claimed, then the rest of the verse would appear very problematic: “Tell the believing women to draw their headscarves over their chests except in front of their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers or their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons…”

Why Khimar (Headscarf) Is a Clear Quranic Obligation

This reading would imply that a woman does not need to cover her chest [i.e. breasts] in front of all the male relatives mentioned. It is doubtful that people who make such an argument would be comfortable with such a conclusion.

The final point worth mentioning is that, as far as I know, no recognized Muslim scholar for at least a thousand years after the revelation of the Quran has ever made an argument to the contrary about women being required to cover their hair in public.

Furthermore, no Arabic linguist, as far as I know, has ever argued that a khimar is anything but a head cover.

This is significant because it would mean that people who do make such an argument, namely, that a headscarf is not a requirement, have discovered something which eluded Muslims for centuries. It has not been a matter of legitimate scholarly debate in the past and it is highly unlikely that something so significant, and public, would have been completely misunderstood for such a long time.

It is more probable that people who do make such an argument are, intentionally or otherwise, using intellectual gymnastics to ‘reinterpret’ the Quran to mean something that it doesn’t.

Following the tenets of Islam is a choice. Choices should be grounded in accurate information. It is hoped that this explanation clarifies what the Quran really says on this issue.

Almighty Allah knows best.

- aboutislam.net

About Sheikh Mustafa Umar

Sheikh Mustafa Umar is the President of California Islamic University.

When Was the Quran Written? The Islamic Perspective

 

The Glorious Quran was compiled after the death of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him); that is, it was fully written and protected at the time of the Prophet and it was also fully memorized by many people at the time.

In addition to that, Allah promises that He will protect this book against all forms and types of destruction and cheating. This divine promise has always been there.

Thus the Glorious Quran is the only book which has not been subject to falsification or amendments.

 Furthermore, the first compilation of the Quran occurred only less than three years after the death of the Prophet.

All in all, the Glorious Quran has been proven throughout history to be an accurate and consistent book of God. All attempts to amend it or falsify its contents have failed. Yet, the Qur’an does not contain any teachings and commands that go against the nature or the interest of mankind.

Final request, go through the Glorious Qur’an and surely one will find it a wonderful and interesting book.

Allah Almighty knows best.

- aboutislam.net

Your Guide to Allah’s Mercy and Forgiveness

 

The abundance of Allah’s rahma or mercy will not come without pure actions. Pure actions, however, when performed, will make you deserving of Allah’s mercy. This, in turn, will enable you to earn the delights of janna and His pleasure.

Seeking Allah’s Mercy

The Qur’an proclaims:

{Call on Him with fear and longing. Surely, Allah’s mercy is ever near to the doers of good.} (al-Araf 7: 56)

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) also said:

”No one will be saved [from the Hell fire and admitted into Paradise] by his deeds alone.’ When asked, `Not even you, O Messenger of God!’, he said, ‘Yes, not even me, unless Allah covers me with His mercy. So, do good deeds properly, sincerely and moderately in the morning, in the afternoon and during part of the night. Always remember moderation and always abide by moderation. Thus, you will reach your destination.“ (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Be reassured that Allah is not a vengeful God, ready to punish, but rather, He is always full of mercy and compassion. He, Himself has declared, {My mercy encompasses all things.} (Al-Araf 7: 156)

Likewise, consider, the manner in which our actions are recorded in His scale of justice, as explained by the Prophet:

“Allah records the good deeds and the bad deeds thus: If anyone intends to do a good deed but does not actually do it, Allah writes it down with Him as a full good deed. If he intends it, and does it too, Allah writes it down with Him as ten to seven hundred times that good deed, or many times over.

If anyone intends to do a bad deed but does not actually do it, Allah writes it down with Him as a full good deed. When he intends a bad deed and does it as well, only then Allah writes it down as one bad deed.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Thus, as long as our actions are worthy and deserving of Allah’s mercy, His mercy will not be denied to us.The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) has again explained:

“There are one hundred parts of mercy. Allah has given only one part which is distributed among the jinn, humankind, animals and insects.

It is because of this that they are kind to one another, show mercy to one another; it is because of it that a wild animal is kind to its young.

But, Allah has kept ninety-nine parts of mercy with Him, which He will show to His servants on the Day of Resurrection.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Seeking Allah’s Forgiveness

The decision to live our lives for the sake of Allah is no guarantee that we will not forget Allah and commit mistakes for ”All children of Adam are sinners, but best among sinners are those who constantly repent’.(At-Tirmidhi)

Imam Al-Bukhari recorded that even the Prophet, though he was sinless, `sought Allah’s forgiveness 70 times a day’. We should, therefore, constantly seek the forgiveness of Allah for every single sin, small or great. Allah says:

{Ask forgiveness from your Lord, then turn towards Him in repentance; He will loosen the sky over you in abundance, and He will add strength unto your strength.} (Hud 11: 52)

Seeking continuous forgiveness of Allah will assist in ensuring that our hearts and souls remain pure and wholesome. The Prophet said in this regard:

“When a Believer sins, a black spot appears on his heart. But if he repents and seeks Allah’s forgiveness, his heart becomes cleansed and polished.

However, if he continues to commit more and more sins [without seeking forgiveness, the spot continues to spread and ultimately covers all of his heart. This is the rust which Allah mentions [in the Qur’an]: {What deeds they earn rust upon their hearts.} (Al-Mutaffifin 83: 14)”. (Ahmad and At-Tirmidhi)

Whatever the magnitude of our misdeeds, Allah is always ready to respond with an even greater amount of pardon. Therefore, never despair of the mercy of Allah, in seeking His forgiveness, even for those sins committed repeatedly:

{O My servants who have transgressed against themselves, despair not of Allah’s mercy; for Allah forgives all sins, surely He is the all-forgiving, the Mercy-giving.} (Az-Zumar 39: 53)

Thus, as long as there is hope there remains opportunity for redemption and salvation. Be aware, though, that the best form of repentance involves a firm resolve to reform and do better. The Messenger of Allah said:

“Remain conscious of Allah and fear Him wherever you are, and follow a bad deed with a good deed which will wipe it out, and behave well towards people.” (At-Tirmidhi)

---

References

Taken with slight modifications from the Book: “In the Early hours”

- aboutislam.net

Does Stomach Rumbling Break Wudu?

 

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) explained to us the guidelines concerning hearing sounds inside the stomach and the state of purity:

“If any one of you feels something in his stomach, and he is not sure whether anything came out of him or not, let him not leave the mosque unless he hears a sound or detects an odour.” (Muslim)

The Prophet was told about a man who imagined that he felt something whilst he was praying. He said, “Let him not stop [praying] unless he hears a sound or detects an odour.” (Agreed upon) 

Imam An-Nawawi said in Sharh Muslim, 4/49:

“This hadith forms one of the basic principles of Islam and an important principle of fiqh. Things are judged to remain as they are until there is certainty that a change has occurred, and having doubts does not alter the fact.”

It is not considered to be impurity until it emerges. Sounds may come from a person’s stomach as the result of food being moved (along the digestive tract).

Therefore, if one hears a sound inside his stomach but nothing comes out of him that would break his wudu, and he does not note anything that would indicate that, such as hearing a sound or smelling an odour, then he should not pay any attention to it. This is because the basic principle is that he remains pure. So, his wudu is not broken and he should not stop praying unless he is certain that something has come out of him. The principle is that what is certain is not overruled by what is doubtful.

Almighty Allah knows best.

Source: http://www.islamqa.info.

About Sheikh Muhammad Saleh Al-Munajjid

ًA well-known Saudi lecturer and author

6 Good Deeds To Do This Winter!

 

As people are now experiencing winter, the coldest season of the year, in many parts of the world, this video talks about certain good deeds you need to do, if you happen to belong to that part of the globe. Here are 6 good deeds to do in this winter. - aboutislam.net

Can We Exchange Christmas Greetings and Cards with Christians?

 

Can Muslims greet Christians?

When Muslims greet their Christian acquaintances for Christmas is by way of compliment and keeping good relations with them. It is not impermissible in Islam to make these acts of compliment and friendliness. This is because Jesus Christ is one of the great Messengers of Allah according to our Islamic creed.

Thus, Muslims revere Jesus, but the Christians exaggerate in revering him and believe that he is Allah.

Wishing Christians a Merry Christmas?

Whoever thinks that wishing Christians a merry Christmas is unlawful because it has to do with their belief in Christ’s divinity is wrong. There is no connection between this compliment and the details of their creed and their excessiveness in it.

Once a funeral procession of a Jew passed by our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) while he was sitting with his Companions. So he stood up by way of expressing the solemnity of death, and this has nothing to do with the dead person’s belief.

How Muslims should treat non-Muslims

It is required of Muslims to show the merits and moderation of Islam to non-Muslims. Also, Muslims are not allowed to force non-Muslims to embrace Islam, even if they are living in a Muslim state. Muslims should be tolerant and leave non-Muslims embracing whatever religion they like.

Today, Muslims are suffering from a state of weakness among other countries of the world, and major countries plot against them and accuse them of being terrorists and fanatics who cannot be trusted. Therefore, Muslims now need to change this dark image.

Muslims may be visited and greeted by Christian acquaintances in the Muslim feasts, and when the Muslims do not visit the Christians back in Christmas, this will confirm the idea that Muslims are harsh and unwilling to harmonize with others or treat others nicely.

Accepting greeting cards

What is said regarding greeting for Christmas applies for New Year’s Day a fortiori, because the latter is not related to belief; it is just the beginning of the calendar.

When Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) gathered the honorable Companions to decide on an event to be the start point of calculating the Muslim calendar, some proposed following the Roman Calendar or the Jewish Calendar. If that were unlawful, it would not have been proposed.

As long as greeting for Christmas and the New Year’s Day is lawful, printing [non-religious] greeting cards and selling them are lawful too, because the means of the lawful are lawful also.

However, there is a point here that should be noted. Muslims may greet Christians for their feasts by way of compliment and nice behavior, but celebrating the new year in any way that is prohibited is another issue involving following non-Muslims in their traditions and unlawful ways of celebration, which is unlawful.

Allah Almighty knows best.

- aboutislam.net

Prophet Muhammad: The Practical Image of Islam

 

Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) is the practical image of Islam. There is no way that one can get to know Islam, the true religion of Allah, without knowing Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah, and his guidance, work, instructions, and prohibitions. He made peace and war, settled and traveled, sold and bought, and gave and took.

Muslims weakened only because they failed to follow his pattern and guidance. The Noble Qur’an tells us:

{Certainly you have in the Messenger of Allah an excellent exemplar for him who hopes in Allah and the last day and remembers Allah much.} (Al-Ahzab 33:21)

Negligence of some Muslims reached the extent that they only read or discuss the Prophet’s biography during celebrations and forums, without actually following his guidance in all affairs of life.

Some others may read it either for obtaining blessings or for merely getting familiar with the various events it contains. This comes from one of two reasons:

First: Those people may be ignorant that following the Prophet’s pattern and guidance is a command from Almighty Allah and is a prerequisite for gaining His love.

Second: They may not know how to derive guidance from his biography, either due to a weakness in their sense of inference or their lack of knowledge and adequate readings.

Lessons and Benefits

The Prophet’s biography is not meant for the pleasure of reading nor for the knowledge of a certain historic period.

Also, learning it should not be driven by the mere love of studying the biographies of heroes and great men.

A Muslim should have various goals when studying the Prophet’s biography, among which are the following:

First: As previously said, Almighty Allah has commanded the believers to obey His Messenger and follow his perfect example. In the Qur’an, He says:

{And if you obey him, you are on the right way.} (An-Nur 24:54)

He also says:

{He who obeys the Messenger has indeed obeyed Allah.} (An-Nisaa’ 4:80)

Another verse reads:

{Say [O Muhammad], “If you really love Allah, follow me; Allah will love you and forgive you your sins.” Allah is All-Forgiving, All-Merciful.} (Aal `Imran 3:31)

Indeed, the Prophet was the practical image and living example of Allah’s religion. Without him we cannot possibly know how to obey and worship Almighty Allah.

From his biography, scholars derived the techniques and different phases of da`wah (i.e., calling to Islam). They also got to know the tremendous effort exerted by the noble Prophet for the sake of raising the word of Almighty Allah and how he reacted in face of the hardships and obstacles that had come on his way.

From his biography:

• Teachers can derive the methods and techniques of education
• Rulers can derive the systems and methodologies of leadership
• Ascetics can derive the meaning and essence beyond asceticism
• Traders can derive the aims, systems, and profitable methods of trading
• Those who are suffering can learn the highest degrees of patience and persistence, thus their determination can grow and their trust in Almighty Allah can increase, knowing that the result will ultimately be in their favor
• Scholars can derive knowledge that enables them to better understand the Book of Allah and the reasons and circumstances surrounding the revelation of Qur’anic verses
• The whole nation can derive the morals, manners, and merits that are pleasing to Almighty Allah

Everlasting Legacy

Throughout history, there have always existed many kings, leaders, poets, and philosophers. None of them, however, has left behind such a biography and such a pattern to be followed as that left by the Prophet. All their credit has been erased, and the only thing left is some of the glory of their names.

Moreover, the biographies of many powerful people had ended up as mere stories to be told all through history. What remained of King Nimrud who said to Prophet Ibrahim (Abraham — peace be upon him) {I give life and cause death} (Al-Baqarah 2:258)?

And what was the destiny and end of Pharaoh, who said {I am your lord, the most high} (An-Nazi`at 79:24) and {I do not know of any god for you besides myself} (Al-Qasas 28:38)?

Such people can only succeed in deceiving their people for some time. Yet, their deception will soon be shown up, and they will become a mockery throughout ages.

Along with the Noble Qur’an, the purpose of the Prophet’s biography is to get people out of the darkness of polytheism and false worship to the light of monotheism and belief in Allah, the Creator of all. Addressing His Prophet, Almighty Allah says:

{O Prophet! Verily, We have sent you as a witness, a bearer of glad tidings, and a warner, and as one who invites to Allah by His leave, and as a lamp spreading light.} (Al-Ahzab 33:45-46)

Second: By studying the biography of the Prophet — involving the miraculous signs of his prophethood and his noble manners and attitude — our belief in his honesty and truthfulness increases.

Third: Also by studying his biography, our love of him becomes deeply entrenched in our hearts. This is because from his biography we come to know about his virtuous manners, his generous treatment, his great concern for guiding people to the right path and for their welfare, and the precious sacrifices he made along that noble path of his life.

When we learn about his great concern to ward off any hardships that may befall his nation, our love for him will surely deepen.

---

Taken with modifications from RasoulAllah.net.

Is It Haram to Keep Birds in Cages?

 

Understanding the Islamic Ruling on Keeping Birds in Cages

Caging birds and offering food to them and treating them kindly is not only permissible, but also recommended.

A Muslim will receive a reward from Allah for that as long as he has made the intention that he is doing this for the sake of Allah.

What the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) Said About Caring for Animals

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “In every living liver (i.e. living being), there is a reward.” (Al-Bukhari)

In another hadith, the Prophet (peace be upon him) is reported to have said: “And if you show mercy to a sheep, Allah will shower mercy on you.” (Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad)

Keeping birds and offering food to them may preserve their lives, since they are safe from predatory animals.

It is also recorded that there was a boy at the time of the Prophet called Abu `Umair and he used to keep a small bird with him all the time. Whenever he saw his family in the house, the Prophet (peace be upon him) used to call this boy, smile at him and say: “What has happened to An-Nughair (the name of the bird)?”

Some scholars used this hadith and deduced about 400 benefits from it. This behavior of the Prophet indicates that it is permissible to keep birds at home and offer them food.

Allah Almighty knows best.

- aboutislam.net

About Sheikh `Abdul-Bari Az-Zamzami

ِA member of the Moroccan Scholars’ Association

What Do Muslims Think of Jesus?

 

Many people wonder what Muslims think of Jesus and whether or not they respect him. Watch this video to know what Muslims think of Jesus (AS). - aboutislam.net

May I Celebrate Christmas With My Non-Muslim Family?

 

No Social Isolation

May Allah the Almighty help you get accustomed to this new life and abide by the rules of this religion, revealed to guide mankind.

Islam does not demand that Muslims live in social isolation; rather it urges us to be interactive and proactive.

Islam requires every Muslim to be a good example and a means for Islam’s light to reach others.

That is why we see that as it stretches its arm to embrace every newcomer, welcoming him/her to its fold, Islam covers that person with its radiating light.

But it does not cut off his/her relations with others.

The Importance Of Maintaining Healthy Family Ties

A key part of spreading the beauty of Islam is the Muslim’s relation with his non-Muslim family, relatives, friends, neighbors, etc.

He should deal with them on the basis of justice and righteousness.

Your conversion to Islam does not cut your family bonds, especially to your parents. You must still care for them and pray for their guidance.

You never know, perhaps Allah will make you the cause of their embracing Islam.

We need to strengthen our relations with all people for through this we will be able to reach out to them, conveying Allah’s message and trying to make them understand Islam.

To Celebrate Or Not to Celebrate?

So this means that Muslims are allowed to share with non-Muslims in their joyous occasions, wishing them happy holidays.

You may even send greeting cards to your Christian friends, relatives or neighbors.

If they give you gifts, you should thank them and accept them with good cheer and should also remember them at the times of Islamic holidays.

Therefore, there is nothing in Islam that prevents you from being with your family during Christmas, at least to show them that you are part and parcel of them even after your conversion to Islam.

You said that your family is partially religious, in the sense that they strongly believe in God.

This means that they are likely to get attracted towards Islam.

But maybe the only person that can do so is you, through the wise and calm methods you adopt in presenting your ideas.

Striking a Balance

However, I need to make it clear to you that you are not allowed to go beyond sharing your family’s joyous mood of the feast, for you are not allowed to celebrate Christmas with them.

You have to make them understand that your presence with them means a lot to you, yet you cannot return to old habits, like drinking and dancing.

They should know you expect them to respect that.

Try to draw them to the awareness that since you have chosen Islam as a way of life you must not do anything that contradicts the principles of your religion.

You should be clear with your family that your attendance is in order to be with the family, that your belief in Jesus is firmly according to Islamic teachings and that, were it not for being with the family, you would not be doing anything special to mark Christmas day.

Your presence with them will also be valued in addition to sending them greeting cards and exchanging gifts with them.

But you must make sure that the gifts you send do not amount to something forbidden in your religion, like wine, etc.

Showing compliments and felicitation here, must not collide with the principles of your religion.

The “Don’t Imitate Non-Muslims” Point

So, from this, scholars have deduced a juristic ruling that Muslims must not celebrate festivals or holidays that are for non-Muslims.

They emphasize that Islam suffices Muslims.

This is based on the hadith of the Prophet (peace be upon him) in which he says:

“He who imitates others is reckoned as one of them.” (Abu Dawud)

To be clear: it’s not ok for Muslims to participate in any of the religious aspects of Christmas.

Your family may find this odd in the beginning, especially as it will be the first Christmas they will celebrate without you actively participating.

But as time goes on, I am sure they will understand. - aboutislam.net

Husband Forces Me to Accept Polygamy

 

What I can say is that it is never okay for a man to threaten his wife with polygamy. Polygamy is a very serious matter, one which should never be taken lightly, as a joke, or as a threat.

It is a serious responsibility for any man who pursues it, and the consequences of being unjust are severe.

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Whoever has two wives and leans towards (i.e. favours) one of them (over the other), will come on the Day of Resurrection with half of his body leaning.”^[1]

Even if it was a condition of your marriage to accept polygamy, you always have the right to opt out of that marriage by seeking a divorce.

Islam does not give anyone the right to force you to remain in a marriage against your will, especially if it is with regards to a matter that you know is detrimental to you.

Even if he does not give you a talaq, you are allowed to pursue a khul’. I do recommend seeking out an imam who will listen to you carefully, who will consider your own Islamic rights in this situation and will not be biased or one-sided against you.

Khul’ is a process by which the wife returns her mahr, or negotiates with the husband to return another amount, in exchange for leaving the marriage.

The Messenger of Allah (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) sanctioned this even in the case of a woman who simply could no longer bear being with her husband, despite his own good character.

Narrated Ibn `Abbas:

The wife of Thabit bin Qais came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said, “O Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ)! I do not blame Thabit for defects in his character or his religion, but I, being a Muslim, dislike to behave in un-Islamic manner (if I remain with him).” On that Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said (to her), “Will you give back the garden which your husband has given you (as Mahr)?” She said, “Yes.” Then the Prophet (ﷺ) said to Thabit, “O Thabit! Accept your garden, and divorce her once.”^[2]

With regards to considering leaving Islam, please know that while your husband may be treating you in a manner that is unacceptable, this is not Islam’s fault!

Islam is about much more than polygamy; rather, it is about your personal relationship with your Creator.

Above and beyond all things, the most important thing in this world is to worship Allah, to love Him, and to obey Him. The very purpose of our lives is to worship Allah.

{And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.} (Qur’an 51:56)

Our relationship with Allah should never be dependent on other people – people can and will disappoint you, but that is on them.

Rather than thinking that leaving Islam is a solution to your current issues, focus on a pro-active, spiritually healthy way of dealing with your situation.

Strengthening your connection to Allah, turning to Him in worship and love, asking for His Mercy and His help in this difficult time, will all help you emerge stronger, happier, and healthier from your circumstances.

Allah reminds us: {And seek help through patience and prayer…} (Qur’an 2:45)

It is only with Allah’s help that we can ever hope to find peace and contentment. Thus, while I absolutely encourage you to do what is necessary to remove yourself from a clearly toxic situation, I urge you to turn to Allah rather than away from Him.

Please don’t allow a human being to poison your relationship with your Lord and Creator! Instead, look for Muslims who exemplify the beauty of Islam, who remind you of Allah in the most beautiful ways, and who will support you and encourage you through this difficult time.

It is also worth remembering that not all Muslim men are abusive or will demand polygamy. There are many, many wonderful Muslim men of upstanding character, who are loving, kind, and compassionate, and are perfectly happy with monogamy.

These men are not quite as rare as it may sometimes to be, either! Always remember to ask Allah for a spouse who will be your partner in worshipping Him, who will love you and care for you, and who will show you what a truly excellent Muslim man is.

I pray that you are able to find a resolution to your problems, that Allah protects you from further distress, and that you are able to live a joyous and fulfilling life filled with love for Allah. May He guide you to what is best for you, and ease your affairs,

- aboutislam.net

About Zainab bint Younus

Zainab bint Younus is a young woman who finds constant inspiration in the lives of the Sahabiyaat and other great women in Islamic history. She hopes that every Muslimah is able to identify with the struggles of these inspirational women and follow in their footsteps to become a part of a new generation of powerful Muslim women. She blogs at http://www.thesalafifeminist.blogspot.com

Dangers Of Jealousy (Powerful)

 

This is a powerful reminder from Abdullah Hakim Quick on the dangers of jealousy, giving us a strong advice on jealousy and arrogance. The Prophet (SAW) also warned us “to be careful of hasad (jealousy)”. Let us be humble and remember where we came from, and where we are returning to. - aboutislam.net

Is Selling Pictures Online Haram?

 

Photography today is a medium of communication. So, if you are a professional photographer and you want to sell what you produce, there is nothing un-Islamic about it.

You are merely earning your living through honest work – provided, of course, the pictures are in no way lewd or promoting vices or encouraging nudity.

So, if you are taking pictures of nature and landscapes, there is nothing questionable about it.

Almighty Allah knows best.

- aboutislam.net

About Sheikh Ahmad Kutty

Sheikh Ahmad Kutty is a Senior Lecturer and an Islamic Scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Why Nagging Is One of the Most Common Marriage Killers

 

Once, I was speaking to an elderly lady over the phone.

She loved talking and was going on about something or other when suddenly there was an interruption.

She was scolding someone, and quite rudely. Then she turned her attention back to me and said,

“It’s my husband. He just made the bed, and guess what? One side of the bedsheet is longer than the other.”

Can you imagine? I just don’t know what to do with this man. He will never learn.

I didn’t know what to say. She obviously thought it was normal behavior to treat her husband like a naughty toddler. 

I witnessed the woman treating her husband like that several more times.

It seemed to be something she’d been doing for a long time, a regular practice on her part. And he, dear soul, didn’t retort.

But it definitely had an effect on him. It has crushed his personality. 

He will never learn how to make his bed perfectly. You know why?

Because it isn’t important to him. He’s a sports teacher and has much more important things he’d like to learn to perfection rather than making his bed. The question is, will she never learn this?

How do we treat our husbands? Oftentimes, the wife isn’t the best person to answer this question.

Like the elderly wife, many of us don’t realize when we are behaving rudely. Sometimes we aren’t clear about what constitutes rudeness.

If you want an honest answer to the question, the best person to ask is the husband himself. 

Nagging Kills Your Marriage

Nagging is one of the most common ways that women sour their marriages.

Sometimes the wife doesn’t even realize that it’s the nagging that killed her marriage.

At other times, she does realize it’s a problem, but still can’t control it because it’s become a compulsion. 

Why do we nag? What makes a wife repeatedly badger her husband? Let’s look at a hypothetical situation to find out. 

Suppose a wife tells her husband to mend a leaky faucet. He forgets, and she reminds him the next day. He forgets again.

This time when she reminds him, there’s a slight tone of annoyance in her voice.

He notices it and is determined to fix it tomorrow. But he’s a busy man.

He stayed late in the office that day. He decides to fix the pesky faucet on the weekend. He remains busy all week.

He’s exhausted and sleeps it off during the weekend. The faucet completely leaks out of his mind. 

A week passes and the faucet remains as leaky as before. Now she gets exasperated. “How many times can a person forget?” 

Enter Shaytan: “Do you know why your husband keeps forgetting? Because he doesn’t think you’re important. Because he doesn’t love you. He thinks you’re worthless. Which means that you are worthless.”

Now it’s not a matter of loss of water anymore. It’s a matter of loss of self-worth.

She wants to prove her self-worth, and so she wants her husband to fix the faucet asap.

She keeps reminding him of it. She calls him at his office and reminds him of it. “If you don’t fix the faucet tonight….” 

Still, he goes home exhausted after work and doesn’t remember anything except dinner. 

“See, he doesn’t respect you.”

“If he doesn’t respect me, why should I respect him?“

Respect goes out of the equation. Now her nagging levels are up. She wants her respect back by any means necessary.

She resorts to sarcasm. “Someone’s brain is leakier than the faucet.”

The husband notices the change in her attitude. He retorts by changing his. And it’s a downward spiral of anger, bitterness, and destruction. 

Iblis places his throne upon water. He then sends detachments (for creating dissension); the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says: “I did so and so.” And he says: “You have done nothing.” Then one amongst them comes and says: “I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seed of discord between a husband and a wife.” The Satan goes near him and says: “You have done well.” -The Prophet Mohammed, reported by Jabir (Muslim) 

This is just an example of how Shaytan operates. He customizes his strategies according to the individual weaknesses of a person.

If someone already suffers from low self-esteem, he’ll use this weakness as a weapon.

For someone whose problem is perfectionism, he’ll bring her husband’s imperfections into the spotlight for her. 

How to Stop Nagging

1 – Seek protection in Allah from Shaytan. This will help dispel your anger and clear your mind. 

2 – Think. Allah asks us repeatedly in the Quran to do just that – think. Why? Because that’s what makes us different from animals.

That’s what protects us from Shaytan’s whispers – clear thinking. And that’s what Shaytan doesn’t want us to do.

So stop a moment and try to think about the situation objectively. Is your behavior toward your husband really what he deserves? Or are you acting on Shaytan’s advice?

3 – Cultivate thankfulness towards your husband. He’s a human being, and he’s not perfect.

Neither are you. Can you overlook his shortcomings and focus on the good he brings into your life? 

4 – Remove the object of your nagging. Can the leaky faucet be fixed by someone else? Can you call in a plumber? Can you buy a new faucet and fix it yourself? 

5 – If all else fails, ask yourself– Can I live with this? Is this issue more important to me than peace in my marriage?

6 – Take care of yourself. Nourish your body and soul. Nurture your own self-esteem and self-confidence.

When you have a healthy mind, body, and soul, you won’t need others, even your husband, to be your source of respect and confidence. Allah will be enough for you. 

But What About Men?

Do men nag? Men are the leaders of the household, and as such, theoretically at least, they don’t usually nag.

After making a request once or twice, they usually resort to some other means of getting their way or expressing their anger rather than nagging, such as the silent treatment, making derogatory judgments, or emotional withdrawal.

Nonetheless, nagging husbands do exist, and the above points will perhaps equally apply to them. 

However, I believe that among the main bad habits that wives typically accuse their husbands of, nagging is perhaps not one of them. 

***

- aboutislam.net

About Tabassum

Tabassum is a freelance writer and online Alimiyyah student at Al-Salam Institute, UK.  ihsan.life