In this video, sister Naaila suggests the following tips to those who are looking for a spouse:
Let people know that you are looking for a wife.
Let those people who have a good character, whom you are looking up to, that you are looking for get married. They might know someone.
Don’t close any doors. Give opportunity for everything.
A friend will not literally share your struggles.
And a loved one can not physically take away your pain.
And a close one will not stay up on your behalf in prayer.
So look after yourself. Protect yourself. Nurture yourself and don’t give life’s events more than what they are really worth.
Know for certain that when you’re break, no one will heal you except you, and when you are defeated, no one will give you victory except your determination.
Your ability to stand up again and carry on is your responsibility.
Don’t look for yourself worth in the eyes of the people; look of your worth from within your conscience. If your conscience is that peace, then you will ascend high. And if you truly know yourself, then what is said about you won’t harm you.
Don’t carry the worries of this life because this is for Allah.
And don’t carry the worries of sustenance because it is from Allah.
And don’t carry the anxiety for the future because it is in the hands of Allah.
Carry one thing: How to please Allah. Because if you please Him, He pleases you, fulfills you and enriches you.
Don’t weep from a life that made your heart weep, just say “O Allah compensate me with good in this life and the hereafter”
Sadness departs with sajdah (prostration). Happiness comes with a sincere dua.
Allah does not forget the good you do nor does He forget the good you did to others and the pain you relieve them from, nor he would forget the eye which was about to cry but you made it laugh.
Live your life with this principal.
Be good even if you don’t receive good, not for others’ sake but because Allah loves those who do good.
Do you remember Allah on a daily basis after performing your daily prayers?
Do you read the Quran every day?
Or is it only in Ramadan?
Are you regular in your morning and eveing azkar?
The remembrance of Allah brings peace to the heart, as Allah (SWT) says:
“those who believe and whose hearts find comfort in the remembrance of Allah. Surely in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find comfort” (13:28)
In this live session, Ustadha Ameena Blake will discuss these and other important topics related to the remembrance of Allah.
If you want to grow in faith and spirituality, remember Allah, watch, submit your questions and stay tuned!
Is it metaphysics?
Is it supernatural?
Is it pseudoscience?
Is it real?
Is it a sum of psychological hallucinations or a physiological disorder or both?
Could it fall under the category of the phenomena studied by the field of Parapsychology?
All these are questions that are raised just by mentioning “Near-Death Experiences” (NDE). NDE is a widespread documented phenomenon that takes place among some human beings, but so far science has no scientific explanation for it, and at the same time scientists are unable to deny its existence.
So far, it’s defined as an experience in which a person gets close to the actual physical meaning of death. This person may be undergoing a major surgery, or suffering from trauma or a serious disease which could lead to death.
During this period of suffering or illness, a person going through a Near Death Experience perceives events and scenes that seem to be impossible, unusual or supernatural. This is not to be mixed with Lucid Dream.
Here we join a ten-minute interview with Dr. Shabir Ally, the President of the Islamic Information & Dawah Centre International in Toronto, Canada, where he tackles the difficult topic of NDE from an Islamic perspective, based on an objective scientific background.
Host: Safiyyah Ally, of “Let The Quran Speak”
Guest: Dr. Shabir Ally.
Q: A Harvard neurosurgeon, Eben Alexander, became a believer in the afterlife after he had a Near-Death Experience. His experiences are surprisingly common, they include out of body sensations, images of events, religious figures, even heaven.
What lies behind these experiences?
Here with me to answer these questions brother Shabir Ally, President of the Islamic Information Centre.
Brother Shabir, maybe you could first begin by describing what a Near-Death Experience is, because some people might not be aware what it is.
Dr. Shabir: In the 1960s, Dr. Raymond Moody began a series of publications in which he highlighted the experiences of many people who may reach a situation that is very close to death. In that situation, the person comes back out of it with the memory that he or she had been outside of the body. This is sometimes referred to as OBE, or an Out of Body Experience.
Sometimes a person was on the operating table and comes back describing his or her hovering over it, with the body still on the operating table, and seeing what the doctors are doing to his or her body.
In some extreme cases, we have reports where a person might have been pronounced “clinically dead” and then the person is somehow surprisingly revived. And this person may come back with some memory of having been out of the body and having met God or met Jesus or went through a tunnel of unimaginable brightness and having comeback.
Sometimes these individuals turn their lives around following this event. They feel themselves to have been called by God and been sent back to Earth not only to live a wholesome and a righteous life, but also to call people to a similar sort of life.
Q: So how can we understand what lies behind these experiences? I mean some religious people would say the soul has separated itself from the body and then returned back, what are your thoughts?
Dr. Shabir: Yes, of course the religious interpretation of this is usually what people comeback with. And on the other hand, some from the medical community will say nothing like this is possible because science explains everything in terms of material things that we can touch and study in a laboratory. If we talk about the mind and about the soul, this is something that we can’t really put our finger on.
Q: What is interesting about Dr. Alexander’s article is that he had that view initially, until he experienced it himself.
Dr. Shabir: Exactly, this view has been popular and been popularized by a female Australian doctor, who said that the human brain is such that we have a built-in coping mechanism. So, if pain comes too severe, driving us to the point of death, then the brain copes with this by imagining a very serene sort of experience, and that helps the person to cope at this very critical moment.
So the person gets close to death, has this experience, then is revived and feels; “Yes, I’ve been beyond death, and I came back. Death was a beautiful thing, the most beautiful experience in my life.” To that Australian doctor, this is a coping mechanism that kicks in.
But now, this doctor Eben Alexander having been brought up in the school in this kind of theory, he experiences for himself what others had described, and he feels that his experiences are unique. What he describes is that he was admitted to the hospital where he was in fact working as a neurosurgeon, and this was after he had fallen into a coma that lasted for several days.
What the doctors had described in his case was that an Escherichia coli bacterium had entered into his spinal fluid and was eating away at his brain to the extent that that level of brain activity which is associated with humans as opposed to the animal brain, became totally shutdown effectively.
This is how it’s described by the doctors who were supervising him and as he said watchful over him in minute detail continuously over this period. So while his brain from a medical point of view was “shutdown” he was having this experience of being in the afterlife.
Q: So how can we understand what was going on there?
Dr. Shabir: I said afterlife, he didn’t put it in this way. He mentioned seeing bright lights, things that he wanted to describe almost as angels, yet he didn’t give them a name as such lest he gives a name that would prejudge the experience that he had. He wanted to put this as scientific terms as possible, just describe the actual things he saw without trying to name them.
Some of the things that he saw will help some believers to feel that this confirms what they already thought existed, like angels which he saw as bright luminous beings parading through the sky leaving traces behind them as they go. He met a woman of extraordinary beauty who assured him that he has nothing to fear.
And some of these descriptions actually remind me of passages from the Qur’an. For example in the Qur’an it says: “Indeed, those who have said, “Our Lord is Allah” and then remained on a right course – the angels will descend upon them, [saying], “Do not fear and do not grieve but receive good tidings of Paradise, which you were promised.” [Surat Fussilat: 41: 30]. The commenter here says that this is what actually happens at the time of death; the angel comes and says this. What Eben Alexander described is actually something similar to this.
Q: So do you think we should take these experiences seriously? I mean, on the other hand, there are individuals from different religious traditions that have their own NDEs that relate to their religious traditions only.
Dr. Shabir: I think we cannot play God and dismiss the experiences of people. When people are describing their experiences which are very real to them, we are not in a position to say no that did not happen.
If I say: “I see a red dot in the sky,” while you don’t see it, you can’t deny that I have seen it. It maybe something as faulty in my vision, perhaps I see things which are not really there. But, you have no way of knowing whether or not my vision is faulty or whether I’m imagining too much. You can only say that you didn’t see it, but you can’t deny my real experience.
So, when we have so many reports of people having these experiences, we cannot just simply dismiss all of them. We have to take them seriously, catalogue them and try to analyze them on an aggregate level and see if perhaps some scientific explanation is available for this, or as Eben Alexander is concluding; there is no scientific explanation yet, and we really are in need of an explanation that will make sense of all this phenomena.
Of course in many cases, as in the case of Eben Alexander himself, people find themselves returning to religion, returning to God, going back to church, and going back to things which are religious.
Now your question is, what about the fact that people from many different religions have similar types of experiences, and in some cases the experiences seem to be very specific for that particular religion in which the person has already been brought up?
In the end, it is possible that God is drawing to Himself people through many different religious paths. The paths which people are choosing for themselves are in a way leading to God, and He makes that path continue to serve the purpose of leading the person towards God.
It may be that one religion will not actually fit all people. People come from many different kinds, persuasions, historical origins, and upbringings, and to present one religion with its total system as “the one” for everyone may not actually be practical, and God is doing what is practical and drawing people to Him through the vehicles that they have already started out with.
Q: Has anyone ever described the Prophet Mohamed’s journey to heaven as an NDE?
Dr. Shabir: No one has described it that way. His journey was thought by some early Muslims as having occurred in a sleep state. And some thought that his entire body was transported into Heaven. If it happened in a sleep state, then one would say that this was a kind of an Out-of-Body Experience (OBE).
Interestingly, in light of your question, I may mention that in his book “The Bible is History” Ian Wilson described the resurrection of Jesus as being a kind of NDE, that he came close to death and went over to the other side, and came back with this experience of things that he can now talk about and influence his disciples.
Q: That’s very interesting. Many thanks for that.
Watch the full interview with Dr. Shabir Ally: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JA-LVPW-q8
The beginning of the sacred union of marriage is marked with many bittersweet moments for the newlywed bridal couple. The new husband and wife cascade through the usual outward rituals. There is the nikah ceremony, the post nikah banquets, the greetings, dua’s and endless hugs from close kin.
The incessant showering of gifts; childlike enthusiasm, and euphoria at finding a life partner, are tinged with the nervousness and hidden fears. These are naturally associated with this milestone transition of stepping into an as-yet unknown realm of life.
If the spouses do not tread with care, compassion, patience and discretion, their natural disagreements in the initial years of marriage can blow out of proportion into big problems that are very difficult to solve.
It is the most natural thing for an adult man and woman to live together as husband and wife. The first few weeks, months and years of this cohabitation are a crucial time of adjustment.
The new spouse is hitherto still a stranger whom the other partner is just starting to get to know.
It is important for newlyweds to remember a few important tips and advice when embarking on this new life stage:
A husband or wife will have to live with, make small talk with, and answer questions from many people. Both close ones as well as mere acquaintances will query them. It is more often than not the extended families and circle of friends and acquaintances on both sides that come together to “jump start” the marital union, not to mention, celebrate it to the hilt over a period of a week or so of banquets and social get-togethers.
Hence, in the first few days, a marriage involves a great deal of interaction. Meeting new people, remembering names and new faces, receiving handshakes and hugs, and exchanging excited greetings with absolute strangers. It can be overwhelming. This can add to the pressure of the new marriage. There is also moving into a new home (especially for a bride). Of course there is having and getting used to conjugal relations. And then dressing up every day in order to perfectly look and act out the part of bride or groom!
In order to not let the constant barrage of well-wishing but sometimes pushy near and dear ones from causing problems between a new husband and wife, both of them should remember that with the passage of time, at the most a few weeks, this overenthusiastic deluge of meetings with relatives and friends will melt away, giving them more privacy. They will eventually get time to relax, go out, sleep in, and breathe freely in their private space.
The less new spouses say to each other in front of family in the beginning of the marriage, the better. This is because they are almost always under close observation by those around them. Saying something at the wrong time, or even in the wrong tone, can lead to misunderstandings and ill-perceptions. Don’t give leeway to the envious troublemakers of extended family to give their criticism and tongue-wagging.
Even when talking to each other in privacy, it is important to weigh what you say before you say it. The first few months are a time of sensitive, nervous and raw emotions and feelings. Treading with care ensures prevention of unwanted problems.
It is advisable for a bride or a groom to not express their opinions about everything too often, too loudly, or too voraciously, especially in large social gatherings. This is because, unfortunately, the first impression is usually the last. People tend enjoy memories, recalling and gossiping about any unpleasant situations or scandals that took place during a wedding.
Sometimes, trivial matters can be blown out of proportion. A spouse should not jump to self-made conclusions and overreact to them, especially in the beginning of a marriage. For example, a wife might fall sick right after her wedding and consequently, fall behind in doing household chores due to her lack of domestic experience.
At such a point, when she needs her husband to be supportive and caring, if he instead thinks, “If I let this go by being lenient, she might make it a habit,” and starts to force her to do all the chores, even when she is sick, because of his innate insecurity that if he does the chores himself it will encourage her to be slothful, this will cause a lot of damage to their relationship.Wife will see him as harsh, oppressive and insensitive.
4- Patience during First Pregnancy
Similarly, if a wife gets resentful of her husband spending more time with his relatives and at work than with her in the first few weeks after marriage, she should try and quell her insecurities that might be making her think that if she doesn’t protest, he will take her silence as approval and continue to ignore her for the rest of their marriage.
Ignoring and overlooking small blows to their personal ego in the first few months go a long way in conveying to one’s spouse the loud-and-clear message that, “I will stand by you through thick and thin”. And this is one the most comforting messages that they can give to each other when their marriage is new.
The most important tip for a new husband and wife that can help them pass through their first pregnancy and childbirth, is to practice immense patience, compassion and empathy with each other. The arrival of a child means a whole new world of emotions, feelings, and life experiences.
It adds value to the family unit and affects all the existing relationships. It is a fact that the arrival of the first baby, which, in many cases, is a much-awaited blessing from Allah, causes the well-adjusted, comfortable husband-wife relationship to go through its first major transition.
Most couples await and desire the birth of their first child within the first 2-3 years of marriage. The first-time experience of pregnancy and childbirth can really task their patience and mutual understanding as a couple.
For the husband, his wife now starts to move from the realm of romantic partner, best friend and conjugal partner, to that of soon-to-be mother of his child. Her body starts going through changes that might cause her to gain weight and experience unpredictable mood swings. This can put a strain on their hitherto smoothly functioning relationship.
A progressing pregnancy also implies less physical intimacy than before, especially during the nausea-and-vomiting infested first trimester, the lower-abdomen-tasking last month before delivery, and then the almost 2-month long post-birth recovery period.
In many cases of severe pregnancy sickness requiring round-the-clock care or even hospitalization, it is not uncommon for the first-time pregnant wife to spend a few days, weeks or even months back at her parents’ home. This can leave her husband feeling lonely, miserable and resentful.
The most important tip for a new husband and wife that can help them pass through their first pregnancy and childbirth as a loving, supportive and emotionally close couple, is to practice immense patience, compassion and empathy with each other.
I would go so far as to say that the husband has a greater role to play in this situation. That of modeling immense patience, sacrifice and forbearance since he is not the one experiencing the physical “jihad” (struggle) of bringing a new life into this world.
Consequently, he should overlook every unjust demand, inappropriate behavior or outright atrocity of his pregnant wife. Just smile and offer supportive, loving words.
In reality, these challenges are sent their way for a very good reason – to make the husband and wife come closer together. The more problems they overcome, the more a husband and wife become stronger as a team.
First published: May 2014
If he has initiated the process of divorce, take it as a positive sign that you will not have to endure this abuse for the rest of your life, InshaAllah.
Remember, when believers go through a period of hardship and persevere in faith, Allah SWT rewards them manifold. Not only in this world but also in the Hereafter.
Learn to experience life for yourself. Take out time to try and do things that you want to do.
Try to work on your hobbies.
You can also try to look for a job.
Start regular therapy.
You have not developed a healthy sense of self-image. This is the reason you believe in all the negative things people around you tell you about yourself. So, boost your self-confidence.
Knowing that you are not at fault, or to blame in any of this situation. You have gone through a lot of heartache and abuse at the hand of your husband.
If he has initiated the process of divorce, take it as a positive sign that you will not have to endure this abuse for the rest of your life, InshaAllah.
Unfortunately, society often has unreasonable expectations from women who are supposed to live in abusive marriages all their lives.
The sooner you get out of an abusive marriage, or a relationship where you do not matter to the other person, the better it is for you and your future.
As for your concern regarding who will accept you as a divorcée in the future. Allah SWT always has a plan or a way for His people. Take this divorce as a step towards finding yourself and finding your independence.
Allah SWT knows all that you do and also how other people treat you. When you are not at fault, you have nothing to worry about.
Allah SWT will make a way out for you. Indeed, when one door closes, Allah SWT opens multiple other doors for His Believers.
According to a Hadith, narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
“Allah has one hundred parts of mercy, of which He sent down one between the jinn, mankind, the animals and the insects. By means of which they are compassionate and merciful to one another, and by means of which wild animals are kind to their offspring.
And Allah has kept back ninety-nine parts of mercy with which to be merciful to His slaves of the Day of Resurrection.” (Muslim, al-Tawbah, 6908)
Sister, this life on earth is a test by Allah SWT. Allah tests His believers in different ways. Sometimes He tests them with health, sometimes with financial issues. Sometimes with concern about children and sometimes with our relationships.
According to the Quran,
’[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed – and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving –’ [67:2]
Therefore, while we often feel that life is not being fair to us, or other people are better off, in truth, each and every one of us deal with our own battles. The only difference is that each of us has a different type of test.
When believers go through a period of hardship and persevere in faith, Allah SWT rewards them manifold. Not only in this world but also in the Hereafter.
Sister, I feel that you have constantly neglected yourself in your marriage. Even now you are concerned about what other people will think or say rather than thinking about yourself.
You need to realize that you are whole and complete within yourself. Even as a divorcée. You do not need another person to complete you or your life.
Learn to experience life for yourself. Take out time to try and do things which you want to do or which you wished to do before you got married.
Try to work on your hobbies. Writing, painting, jogging or doing yoga, or doing some other activities that lift your mood.
You can also try to look for a job. It will keep you busy, lift your mood, and lift your sense of self-esteem.
Millions of women are going through a divorce. These divorcées are able to get partners who value and cherish them for who they are.
It seems as though you have constantly received negative messages about yourself. As a result, you are struggling with a very poor sense of self-image.
You have not developed a healthy sense of self-image. This is the reason you believe in all the negative things people around you tell you about yourself.
To boost your self-confidence, make small daily or weekly goals for yourself, which includes something you enjoy doing. As you accomplish your goals, you’ll start to develop healthy self-esteem.
However, also understand that your self-worth is not dependent on accomplishments. You are beautiful and worthy of love just as you are!
Sister, learn to establish healthy boundaries with people. You do not need to comply with other people’s wishes only because they want you to. Stand up for yourself and your values.
As an individual, you have as much a right to happiness, pleasure, and love as any other being that walks on this world. Do not give anyone permission to take that right from you.
When people criticize you for who you are, do not let their snide comments define who you are. You are worth a lot more than how these people treat you.
I understand that you are in a difficult position as a divorcée. You are going through a lot of emotional turmoil and stress.
I would suggest that you start regular therapy to help you get through this difficult period of life. Having professional support by your side will provide you comfort, strength, and skills to develop effective coping skills to deal with your situation.
Last but not least, Allah SWT is the All-Seer and All-Hearer. He likes His believers to as from Him. In the Quran, Allah SWT says,
O ye who believe! Call in remembrance the favor of Allah unto you when certain men formed the design to stretch out their hands against you, but ((Allah)) held back their hands from you: so fear Allah. And on Allah let believers put (all) their trust. [5:11]
May Allah SWT make life easy for you, and may you prosper in Duniya as well as Akhirah.
Amen,
***
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall MyISLAM or AboutIslam, its counselors or employees are liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
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If they seek peace, then seek you peace. And trust in Allah for He is the One that heareth and knoweth all things.
~ Qur’an 8:61
Peace is a big part of Islam as it promotes the understanding of peace through submission to Allah (SWT). This applies to the ordinary sense of developing your spiritual growth through balance and harmony.
So, propel peace in your neighborhood, family and amongst fellow countryman by taking these simple steps to be contagiously peaceful to family friends and even strangers:
Just say Assalaamu ‘Alaikum (Peace be with you) – It’s amazing to see the reaction to a simple gesture such as giving salaam or saying hello can do.
Better yet, it can invoke the response that is hoped for, and that is someone responding to your salutation by giving salaam or saying hello in return.
Make it a habit to greet everyone at your neighborhood, workplace and even while shopping. This would have a magical impact on both you and people around you.
Ihsan simply means having good intentions towards anything that is living. There are many ways this can be achieved, such as being fair and just in all your doings, being selfless, giving without expecting anything in return.
Be a forgiving person and do not hold onto grudges. Do not engage in gossip, backbiting, thus guarding against your tongue. Simple acts of kindness can cultivate a compassion for other living things.
Encourage your kids to show care for others, help those in need and be kind towards all creatures of God.
Without input from you, your children will not know about Tarbiyah or personal development. And without personal development, your child will not know the importance of peace in today’s chaotic world. Instill the message of peace in children at an early age.
Provide a sound Islamic foundation by investing in colorful children’s Islamic books which relate stories from the Qur’an written in simple sentences. Appeal to their creative side and engage them in craft activities and coloring pages that propel peace.
There’s nothing like a family get-together with a big pot of food to enhance the occasion. Talking, eating and socializing with family members helps develop a better understanding of each other.
Make time to have the family over as it brings a sense of belonging, security, stability and peace.
Make it a habit to perform prayers together and try to engage in many things as a family in order to develop stronger ties and interconnection.
Remember that a strong family bonding is the base for a sound and safe society.
Needless to say, your neighbors are the closest people to you in terms of distance.
Islam accords special status to neighbors, regardless of whether they are Muslim or not. You are encouraged to socialize, care for and share with them.
So, it is in your best interest to maintain peace with them so they do not become a daily source of frustration. If you are peaceful, it may just catch on and they will be contagiously peaceful too!
“Truly, in remembering God do hearts find rest.”
~ Qur’an 13:28
In this video, sister Naaila answers a reader’s question regarding marital fights. The questioner states that ever since they got married, they have been fighting every day. How to resolve this?
Sister Naaila suggests picking your battle. You both need to decide what the most frustrating and annoying things are for you, then let the other issues go.
For example, food and leftover at the desk are really problematic for her. However, if anyone else in the house left a cup at the desk, which also annoys her, she would take it to the kitchen without a word because it is not that important.
If you feel frustrated over too many issues, that means you are unable to manage yourself and your feelings. You need to fix this issue. Everything cannot be a fight.
Living in a country where Muslims make up a minority of 1% of the population, questions about my Islamic identity are so much a part of my life that answering them has literally become my career.
From my experience, there are two different classes of questioners – those who only know about Islam through the media and those who think they know Islam through Islamophobic propaganda.
The media watchers, for the most part, are easy to talk to and even enjoy to answer questions for. They simply lack knowledge. They don’t wish to offend and are open to understanding so that we can all be better neighbors and build better communities.
Then, there are those who listen to hatemongers. This kind of questioner is frustrating to talk to. They have closed off their minds, thinking they know everything they need to about Islam; when in fact all they know are myths, propaganda, texts taken out of context, and straight up lies.
The following is a list of the top five questions I receive from non-Muslims about Islam and my Muslim identity. See if you can figure out which questions are from media watchers and Islamophobe listeners:
Some questioners actually mean, ‘can you be Muslim and a white person?’ I honestly hate it when people mean this because America is not an identity reserved for white people.
This question is tricky because people mean different things by the term American (here the term “American” can be swapped for any Western national identity-the sentiment is almost universal).
This kind of understanding comes from a bigoted political view of the world that has wreaked havoc on global politics for centuries.
Like my mama always taught me- if you can’t say anything nice, say something sarcastic. So, my answer to this kind of question is a barrage of more questions:
What do you mean by American? Can a “true” American be anything other than Christian to your mind? Can an Arab be Christian? What color skin should I have in order to worship God?
Are religious identity and cultural identity and ethnic identity and national identity all the same thing to you? Do you think “the man” will take away my American passport if I tell him I’m Muslim?
Once the questioner has attempted an answer, I take pity on the less informed and reply, yes! An American can be Muslim. It is a right protected by the first amendment to the Constitution. And if a religion were to be true and just, as Islam is, there would be no racial, national, cultural, or ethnic prerequisite to enter into its fold.
A woman’s appearance is how we childishly assign worth to her. For a woman in any given society, if she meets certain arbitrary, cultural “requirements” of beauty, then she is valued by society.
Hijab. It’s always about hijab. I am so sick of this question. To be clear, hijab is not just a piece of cloth covering a woman’s hair. It is a standard of modesty. I wonder when the Western world (and the Eastern world too for that matter) will finally realize the only reason we are obsessed with the hijab is because we are obsessed with how a woman looks.
Hijab obscures the view of a woman, making it difficult to erroneously sign value to her based on her appearance. And that’s (part of) the point. Islam defines woman’s worth based on the content of her character, not her looks.
Those are glasses. I am near sighted. Just joking. I know you are talking about my scarf. I wear this to have control over who can view what parts of me.
I reserve the right to give consent to who consumes my body even if that consumption is “only” visual. I would rather not be judged based on the size and shape of my parts because the human being is greater than the sum of her parts (disclaimer: I am not really this eloquent in real life, but you get the picture).
This question sounds a lot like the first question. But a deeper look into the intent reveals that it is an entirely different animal. What the questioner means is, ‘is it allowed in Islam to be an American (again, the nationality can be swapped for any Western nation)?’
This question stems from the false assumption that Muslims hate America (and the West as a whole) and somehow the two identities are mutually exclusive. This simply isn’t true.
Yes, a Muslim can absolutely be an American. In fact, the first country to recognize America’s independence from Britain was a Muslim country- Morocco.
The human and civil rights the American government establishes for its citizens are compatible with Islamic law. In fact, Islam is clear in its directive that one must obey the law of the land in which they live, any land of Muslim majority or otherwise.
Assuming the worst stereotype is true about someone is extremely rude. But this kind of question happens. While I used to be nice about this kind of thing and give people a pass, I have come to realize that this kind of aggressive rudeness is unacceptable, and I have every right as a human being worthy of dignity, to school the questioner.
Answer
NO! Are you? According to the FBI, the majority of terrorist attacks that take place on American soil are perpetrated by non-Muslims. So, it is more likely that you, as a non-Muslim, are a terrorist. So, are you a terrorist? And if not, then why don’t you apologize for the terror attacks that your people have perpetrate in my country?
Many might not realize how this “women in Islam are oppressed” myth has come about (it has a lot to do with false pretenses for war and Islamophobia as a whole). But all it takes to dispel is to talk to an actual Muslim woman about her faith, and not those who imagine themselves as “saviors” of Muslim women.
Islam in no way oppresses women. Islam gives every woman the freedom to choose her religion, to get an education, to earn a living and spend money as she sees fit, to inherit property, to say who and even if she marries, and ultimately to have agency in her own life.
Some Muslims certainly do oppress women and even claim Islam as an authority to do so. But just because someone usurps power in the name of religion doesn’t mean that is actually from the religion.
Many people have twisted religion and used it as a tool of oppression. Sometimes Muslim behavior is not an indicator of Islamic values.
(From Discovering Islam archive)
