Respect Your In-Laws, Be Compassionate

As soon as people get married they start to encounter problems. Maybe it is with the mother-in-law, the sister-in-law, the brother-in-law, the father-in-law, the daughter-in-law, the son-in-law, the husband or the wife! 

We must understand that when a woman marries a man the family should learn that she is not there to serve them and be their maid. This isn’t fair. On the other hand, the daughter-in-law shouldn’t expect not to do anything to help. There should be middle ground and everyone should be compassionate towards the other. 

We need to show in-laws respect and they need to show the new bride or groom respect in order to make a happy and peaceful environment. 

-aboutislam.net

Living Truthfully

When we discuss morality and values, it is difficult to state what value is the most essential or the most important. Regardless of religious affiliation or lack of it, honesty is regarded by most people as an essential moral value. Even though children are born honest and truthful, as lying is an action which is gradually learned, the question remains as to how parents can raise an honest child.

The AhlulBayt(a) greatly emphasised keeping promises with children. Current psychological research shows that children primarily learn trust and honesty when their parents keep their promises. If a parent does not keep a promise, then that child learns dishonesty. Even a promise for something trivial like buying a sweet should not be broken, for it is at this early age that the child is developing values and morals.

Prophet Muhammad(s) said, “Love children. Treat them with kindness and if you make a promise to them, fulfil it without fail. Children think that you are the provider of sustenance for them.” Similarly, Imam ‘Ali(a) stated: “Whenever you make a promise to children, definitely keep it.”

The keeping of promises is related to trust; if we keep our promises, then we build trust. On the contrary, if we break a promise, then we destroy trust. Trust is an integral part of society, as well as families. When someone does not keep a promise, it implies that he does not value the person with whom the promise was made and that something else was more important than that commitment.

Those with whom promises are broken learn that they cannot count on the person and thus relationships begin to suffer. Moreover, a person who breaks his promise tells himself that he does not value his own word; in essence, he is disrespecting himself. The solution then is to evaluate the promises we make and only commit to those things which we know we can keep. Just like a child who has to be brave when admitting he did something wrong instead of lying, sometimes we need to be brave enough to say no and not make false promises.

Families should discuss the value of honesty, for it is the quality which nurtures trust between family members, especially parents and children. Furthermore, parents should always remember they need to role-model the values they would like to see reflected in their little ones. Another vital point is that we should always emphasise the act of being honest rather than punishment for dishonest behaviour. Parents need to help their children tell the truth by avoiding harsh punishment if they have made a mistake, for that is one of the reasons a child may lie. Of course, the behaviour may still require discipline; nevertheless, the fact that the child is honest should be appreciated.

Research suggests that fables which promote honesty make children more likely to be truthful. However, parents should be aware that this is only true if the stories promote the positive consequences of telling the truth, as stories like Pinocchio, with negative consequences of lying, are not as effective in promoting honesty. It is very likely then that hearing stories of the prophets and AhlulBayt(a) would also have the positive effects of instilling moral values in our children. It is not surprising to then find that the Holy Qur’an has narrated so many inspiring stories of the prophets and their people. The Prophet(s) said, “The most God-wary of people is he who speaks the truth, be it for or against him.”

Being honest is not limited to words spoken by the tongue; rather, it is an essential component of every Muslim’s character. Honesty includes being truthful to God by worshipping Him sincerely, being truthful to oneself by adhering to God’s laws, and being truthful with others. The latter may include honesty by speaking the truth as well as by being honest in dealings such as buying, selling and other interactions like marriage.

Once a person asked the Prophet(s) for advice as he had many problems. The Prophet(s) replied, “Do not lie.” Hence, whenever he was about to do something evil, he thought about what he would say to the Prophet if he asked about it. Therefore, he stayed away from evil. Consequently, another significant reason that truthfulness is so essential is that it is the foundation for all other moral values.

If someone is truthful, then he will eventually develop other good qualities. Perhaps the same cannot be said about other values, like generosity and bravery. If a person stays away from evil and sincerely tries to be honest, then he will inevitably be led to the right path. Indeed, haqq (truth) is connected to being honest and truthfulness, for God is the Absolute Truth. Thus, if we want to be truly honest, then we should seek and worship the Truth. God, Himself is worshipped for this very reason: that He is the Haqq. We do not worship Him for any other reason except that He is the Truth.

In Surah al-Asr (the Time), God states that one of the qualities of those who are not in loss is that they “enjoin one another to follow the truth” (103:3). In another instance, the Qur’an instructs us to “be with the truthful” (9:119). Prophet Muhammad was called al- Sadiq (the Truthful) and al-Amin (the Trustworthy) years before the advent of Islam. Even after he proclaimed the message of Islam, those who did not believe in him would leave their valuables with him. Consequently, a true Muslim is one who is known for his truthfulness and honesty. It would truly be a great achievement if every single Muslim were known as “truthful” by Muslims and non-Muslims alike. - islam-today.co.uk

Perhaps the Most Important Goal of Counseling

Masjid Kristal (Crystal Mosque), Terengganu, Malaysia

Perhaps the most important goal of counseling is to help people to train themselves to feel helpful feelings rather than unhelpful feelings. I cannot emphasize how important a goal this really is. You see, Cognitive Behavioral Theory is one of the most respected, validated and used theories of counseling. One of its teachings is that your thoughts cause your feelings, and your feelings cause your actions. Therefore, if you are able to train yourself to feel helpful feelings, those helpful feelings will translate into helpful actions, which means you will have a happier life.

What are helpful feelings? As Muslims, our main goal is to please Allah (swt), to worship and serve Him. Therefore, feelings that lead us to being better Muslims are helpful to us. Therefore, when you are feeling an unhelpful feeling such as sadness, frustration, etc., you must train yourself to replace it with a helpful feeling, such as calmness, hope, gratitude, faith, and peace. An important step is to be more aware of your feelings and to accept your negative feelings. Denying your feelings is not helpful. Once you accept your feelings, you are able to face them with honesty. The way that you replace negative feelings is to find a thought that genuinely makes you feel better. Keep thinking of replacement thoughts (to replace the negative thought that caused your negative feeling) and when you find a thought that genuinely makes you feel better (calmer, stronger, etc.) then you just learned to train yourself to feel helpful feelings.

An important point is that you must care about and value yourself enough to want to feel helpful feelings. Do you care about yourself? Do you value yourself as a worthwhile human being? If your answer to these questions is not a resounding YES then you must teach yourself to become your own best friend. You must respect yourself enough to work towards this important goal of counseling: to train yourself to feel helpful feelings rather than unhelpful feelings.

-howtobeahappymuslim.com

Islam and the Law of Attraction

One thing that really helps me to stay grateful, content, peaceful, happy, and/or calm all the time is to remember the Law of Attraction. Some Muslims may disagree with this, but I am writing this from my honest personal experience while trying to combine my ideas with the teachings of Islam.   

Rhonda Byrne did a great job of publicizing the “Law of Attraction”. Even though, as a Muslim, I do NOT agree with EVERYTHING that Rhonda says in her movie or book, I think it is unfortunate that some Muslims dismiss the Law of Attraction altogether.    

Basically the law of attraction says that your outer world is a reflection of what you are thinking and FEELING. Your thoughts cause your feelings. And your feelings cause your actions. This is a basic idea of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which is one of the most researched and empirically validated theories of counseling.  

A Quranic verse that to me seems to repeat the message of the Law of Attraction is,  

“…Surely Allah does not change the conditions in which a people are in until they change that which is in themselves… (13:11).” If we are not happy with our conditions, we need to change something inside us. What is inside us? Our thoughts and feelings!  

When I am feeling low, which is normal sometimes, I remind myself that my low feelings are affecting my outer life. If I want to improve my life, I need to improve my feelings; i.e. think good thoughts. I remember that Allah’s blessings on me are so much heavier than my problems! I remember the Law of Attraction. I look at people with understanding and mercy rather than blame and negativity. I try to treat people as I hope that Allah will treat me—with love and mercy.

When you understand that your feeling frequency does affect your outer world, you will learn how to lift your frequency and feel good without really having a clear reason. It will become a skill. You will feel lighter, higher, clearer. You won’t need a reason, but the underlying reason is that you know that Allah has blessed you to be a Muslim. Even if you are not the best Muslim, just the fact that Allah has blessed you to say the shahada and to read Surah Al Fatihah is enough to lift your mood forever.  

If you don’t think the Law of Attraction is true, at least you would agree that staying calm is a good thing. When things are going wrong, we all know that staying calm and rational helps you to solve your problems better. When we become angry or panic, this negative feeling frequency actually makes the problem worse.   

HAPPINESS HINT: Learn to pay attention to your inner world.   

  I don’t fully understand the Law of Attraction, but to be honest, I have seen it operate in my life. Allah tells us to use our reason and intelligence to interpret the signs around us.¹⁷  One interpretation that Rhonda Byrne makes about the Law of Attraction is that she seems to encourage pretending to be happy. This certainly rubs me the wrong way, because one of the core values of Islam is self honesty/sincerity. In my opinion, we should lift our feelings in a genuine way. We can help ourselves to be sincerely happy by choosing positive thoughts that we genuinely believe. When you learn to replace your negative thoughts with positive thoughts that you genuinely believe, you will genuinely feel better.   

  For example, if you are disturbed by some qualities of a person who you know, you can choose to focus on their positive qualities that you sincerely appreciate. You can choose to have good thoughts that you sincerely believe about that person, while accepting the fact that some of his or her qualities are quite disturbing.  

A personal story that comes to mind is when I was working as an intensive in-home counselor in downtown Richmond, Virginia. I was visiting a teenage girl’s school and was going to pick her up and take her home that day. I met with her briefly about 5 minutes before the bell was to ring. I told her I would wait for her in the front office. I ended up waiting for her for 45 minutes, much to my dismay. Rather than staying calm, I became irritated. I didn’t know what to do, and I felt that I could not leave because the girl was expecting me to take her home. When she finally came, she explained without a care that her teacher wanted her to stay after a little longer for a make-up quiz. I held my tongue and proceeded to drive her home. I felt that I was perfectly justified for being irate. On the way to her home, I ended up getting a speeding ticket which was quite costly. Looking back, I realize that my irate attitude, though justified, seemed to have attracted another event to add to my irritation–a speeding ticket. Alhamdulillah we did not have a car accident! But the lesson I learned is that we must train ourselves to maintain inner peace and calm at all times, even when our irritation is justified! When we feel any negative feeling, it does attract more negative circumstances.    

  Another example is when we are having computer problems. It is quite normal to become frustrated and impatient when we are having computer troubles. However, it is better, i.e. “above normal” to be calm, patient, and rational when we have these experiences!   

  Our life circumstances often become worse when we forget to be thankful for what is going right, and for what we have. Allah tells us that when we are thankful, He will give us more (14:7). Allah also tells us to never be ungrateful (2:152). If you find that your life circumstances are going downhill, there’s a high chance that you are forgetting to be genuinely thankful for what you already have.  

  One point I feel is important to make is that as believers, we do not always deserve the bad things that happen to us. Unfortunately, many Muslims misinterpret verse 42:30, which states, “Whatever hardship befalls you is the result of your own deeds. God pardons many of your sins.” Here is what Shaykh Muhammad Sarwar says about this verse in “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to The Koran” on p. 176:  

This has been interpreted by some to mean that any misfortune that befalls any human being is exclusively the result of his or her own actions. This interpretation, however, ignores the fact that the words are addressed by Allah exclusively to the unbelievers–that is, people who maintain their willful rejection of the message of the Koran, despite it having been revealed to them with great clarity and in a manner that no rational person would reject. What the verse is saying, in other words, is that God may bring earthly hardships to those who knowingly reject the divine truth and harden themselves against its guidance. This kind of misfortune can, of course, take many forms, some of it obvious, some of it less so. On the larger question of (apparent) “good luck” or “bad luck”, the Koran’s message is clear: We may expect to be tested during both good times and bad.  

  One technique that helps me to be in a happy state is to literally remind myself to raise my “feeling frequency”. In doing so, I really feel a sense of my mind rising above the small issues/problems, and I feel happier and clearer. I have achieved this ability through practice, but mainly by remembering the favors of my Lord that I know He has blessed me with, and that make me feel like I could never be down. These specific favors are private blessings that I will not share in this book, but I hope you are able to raise your feeling frequency–for the sake of being a better, more grateful and more productive Muslim.  

HAPPINESS HINT: Raising your “feeling frequency” will bring solutions to your problems faster than dwelling on your problems.  - howtobeahappymuslim.com

Preparation to Meet My Lord by Saeed Muhammed Lawan

(This article is written by Brother Saeed Muhammed Lawan, may Allah reward him) 

“Whenever I get ready to take my wudoo to pray, I remember what I learned from my friend Aida, and this is why I’ll teach you what I learned from her so that you will feel happy and superexcited while and after praying,” said Fatima.

“Hmm, so do you mean I’m not praying well or what? I went to all those Islamic schools that you went to,” Rosina replied while tightening her headscarf around her neck, getting ready to pray.

“It’s not about that Rosina; it’s about personal experience, and you will learn a lot when you listen to me.”

“OK, let me pray, then you will tell me what you want to say,” she said and grinned. “And I prepare……….” She didn’t complete the sentence and said “let me pray” while placing her praying mat on the floor of her pink room.

10 minutes later…..

“I can hear you now. I prayed,” Rosina said cheerfully.

“Good, may Allah accept it,” said Fatima.

Rosina replied, “Ameen.”

“Last week I visited Aida and learned something beautiful about her. I arrived in the afternoon. She was about to pray Zuhr. I experienced something in her; before she took her wudoo she used siwak to clean her teeth and took her wudo, and after that she wore her new beautiful Abaya to make herself beautiful like she was about to go to
attend a wedding or Nikkah. She went into her quiet room to pray and told me to wait for her in the TV room. After a long wait she came out from the room and told me that she prayed.”

“Where will you go today?” I asked her.

“Nowhere,” Aida replied.

“I saw you adorned yourself, you beautified yourself. It seems like you
have a special event,” I added.

“Yes, you guessed right. I beautified myself to meet someone special,
the most beloved One to me,” Aida said while smiling.

“Oh! So who is He? Your boyfriend?”

“No, no not my boyfriend; I don’t have any. I beautified myself to
meet my Lord; I adorned myself to meet Allah. As you know, praying is a
communication between a creation and its Creator. Myself and Allah, so
I don’t want to meet my lord with dirty clothes. I want to clean
myself, use siwak, wear my beloved clothes and make myself comfortable before
I pray.”

After hearing this from Aida I remembered myself sometimes praying with
dirty clothes, not brushing my teeth. I felt guilty like a sinner.

“If you have an appointment with a King/Queen will you go with dirty
or unclean clothing?” Fatima asked me.

“No”

“I went to see the the King of kings, I must be beautified ”

“Masha Allah what a beautiful character!” Rosina interrupted.

“It’s one of the best characters.”

“I learned a lot from the story that you told about your friend Aida. I
wish I heard the story before I prayed but I’ll apply it always Insha
Allah,” Rosina said it calmly.

“Thank you so much for sharing this with me; we have to go and eat; food
is ready,” she added.

A’isha may Allah be pleased with her reported that the Prophet peace
and blessings be upon him said, “The miswak (a twig used for tooth
brushing) cleanses and purifies the mouth and pleases the Lord.”
(An-Nasa’i and Ibn Khuzaimah; authenticated by Al-Albani)

-howtobeahappymuslim.com

Allah’s Forgiveness in the Quran and Sunnah

Allah (swt) repeatedly reminds us that He is the Most Forgiving. Below are Quranic verses and hadiths about Allah’s Forgiving Nature.

I hope that these verses/hadiths will:

1. Encourage you to turn to Allah and ask for His Forgiveness
2. Be more forgiving and merciful to yourself

Forgiving yourself is an important part of being a Happy Muslim. We have all made mistakes in life. If Allah is willing to forgive us, then we should be willing to forgive ourselves too.

…And seek God’s forgiveness! Truly God is much forgiving and Merciful.

The Holy Quran 2:199

O Believers! Turn to God with a sincere repentance.

The Holy Quran 66:8

Whoever repents, believes and does good deeds, he shall be among the successful.

The Holy Quran 28:67

He is the Acceptor of Repentance, Compassionate.

The Holy Quran 9:104

Whoso does evil or oppresses his own self and thereafter seeks God’s forgiveness shall find God most Forgiving, Merciful.

The Holy Quran 4:110

But those who do evil deeds, then repent and believe, they will find your Lord Forgiving and Merciful.

The Holy Quran 7:153

Anyone of you who does a misdeed through ignorance then repents thereafter and makes amends, then verily He is Forgiving, Merciful.

The Holy Quran 6:54

The Quran repeatedly tells us to turn to God for forgiveness.

Our Lord! Forgive me, my parents, and the believers on the Day of Reckoning.

The Holy Quran 14:41

We are encouraged to ask God’s forgiveness for ourselves as well as others.

When comes the Help of God, and Victory, and you do see the people enter God’s religion in crowds: Celebrate the praises of your Lord, and pray for His Forgiveness: For He is Oft-Returning (in Grace and Mercy).

The Holy Quran 110: 1-3

Along with celebrating God’s praise we are supposed to ask His forgiveness.

The Prophet Muhammad reported that the devil said to
God: “I shall continue to lead Thy servants astray as long as their spirits
are in their bodies.” And God replied: “(Then) I shall continue to pardon
them as long as they ask My forgiveness.”

Recorded in Tirmidthi, Hadith 742

(God says) O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.

Narrated by the Prophet Muhammad in Tirmidhi, Ahmad

(God says) O My servants, you sin by night and by day, and I forgive all sins, so seek forgiveness of Me and I shall forgive you.

Narrated by Prophet Muhammad in Muslim, Tirmidthi

Never lose hope in the mercy and forgiveness of Allah.

-howtobeahappymuslim.com

Inspired by the Prophet of Mercy (Stories and Reflections)

Sultan Salahuddin Abdul Aziz Shah Mosque,Shah Alam, Selangor

It is once again the time of the year to honor the memory of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), whom Allah has sent as a mercy for the worlds.

While reflecting on his tradition of mercy, I cannot but recall the words attributed to the great Prophet Jesus (peace be upon him), in the Gospel of Mathew: “By their fruits, you will know them.”

He was contrasting false prophets to genuine prophets.

Taking cues from this, we can easily vouch for the authenticity of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). His teachings of compassion and kindness have been a constant source of inspiration, for scholars and commoners alike, throughout the ages.

In his own time, the Prophet mentored his companions to serve as conduits of mercy. Their acts of generosity, self-sacrifice, and compassion defy articulation. Here are but a few examples worthy of contemplation.

Fruits of the Prophet of mercy

It is said by Aisha, the beloved wife of the Prophet, that even after becoming the undisputed ruler of Arabia, that days would go by without any food being cooked in the Prophet’s house.

When someone asked, ‘then how did you survive?’, she replied, “on the two black stuff indicating dates and water.”

The Prophet (PBUH)’s household did without, not out of a lack of means or resources, but to instead take care of the poor and destitute preferring their needs over their own.

In another account, Aisha was fasting and had kept aside a loaf of bread for her breakfast. Yet, when a poor man knocked at her door asking for food, she, without hesitation, gave it to him –leaving her with no food to break her own fast.

Altruism at the most difficult times

His companions learned these lessons imparted by their beloved mentor. History records an abundance of material on this.

During the battle of Al-Yarmuk, those tending to the wounded soldiers recalled several instances of self-sacrifice even among the dying.

Reports indicate hearing a man call out for water as he lay gravely injured. He then refused to drink it and asked for it instead to be given to another just as badly injured and requesting water.

As the water bearer approached the second man, he too refused asking that it be given to the other.

The water bearer returned to the first only to see that he had returned to his Maker as had the second man. Both, like their mentor, preferred the needs of another to their own even at the time of death.

Mercy for animals

The Prophet’s compassion was not limited to fellow humans, but extended to all of God’s creatures. The Quran taught the believers:  {They are all communities like you.} (Al-An`am 6:38)

Hence, the Prophet (PBUH) taught that there are rewards for even the smallest acts of kindness rendered towards any living creature. Similarly, we will be punished for acts of cruelty towards them.  He said,

“If someone kills a sparrow for fun, the sparrow will cry out on the Day of Judgment, ‘O Lord! That person killed me in vain!  He did not kill me for any useful purpose.’” (An-Nasa’i)

In line with this, the Prophet recounted the story of a prostitute saw a dog moving around a well and was about to die of thirst. She went to the waterhole and fetched water in her shoes and gave it to the dog. For this act of compassion, God forgave her sins. (Bukhari)

Everlasting legacy

The Prophet’s words and precedents in this regard, heavily influenced the faithful throughout history. All over the Muslim world, Muslims set up charitable endowments; thus translating those teachings into institutions creating and supporting benevolent projects and services. Charitable bequests thrived in the Islamic world for taking care of sick cattle, providing for dogs, cats, and birds, digging wells for the poor and planting trees for shade.

Endowments were created for setting up hospitals, orphanages, and educational institutions, spiritual retreat centers, and hospices and inns providing free boarding and lodging for travellers and the destitute.

The Prophet’s teachings also inspired people in many other ways: there were hundreds and even thousands of scholars who devoted their lives to the study of the Prophet’s Sunnah. Their lifelong study of the Prophet’s Sunnah transformed their consciousness and influenced everyday life including those of others.

One particularly poignant example of this is the legendary Muslim hero Salah al-Deen al-Ayyubi (Saladin). His demonstrated chivalry and compassion to the Christians during the Crusades has immortalized his name even among non- Muslims.

His biographers report that even in the thick of battle, he would have someone accompanying him to read out to him the Prophet’s manners. These manners not only served him but also his rival English King Richard the Lionheart, his archenemy.

As for Imam Bukhari, the compiler of traditions, he was also a scrupulous observer of the Prophetic manners. Once while lecturing on hadith he saw a person pull out a hair and toss it in the mosque. The great imam pocketed the tiny strand and upon exiting the mosque, threw it in the garbage.

In doing so, he was acting upon the traditions of the Prophet commanding to maintain mosque’s cleanliness; removing even a speck of dirt from the mosque is recorded as a good deed on the Day of Judgement.

Loving the Prophet of mercy

These reflections at the very least should enhance our love for the Prophet and at best should inspire us to emulate him.

For, according to the following report of Anas ibn Malik (the Prophet’s life-long companion):

“A man asked the Prophet (peace be upon him): When would be the Last Hour?”

The Prophet asked him, “What have you done to prepare yourself for it?“

He replied, ‘I do NOT have too many extra prayers, fasting or charities to my credit; but, I do love Allah and His Messenger!”

The Prophet told him, “A person will join his beloved (on the Day of Resurrection)!”

Commenting on this report, Anas said: “I love Rasulullah, Abu Bakr, and Umar. Although I did not do the works they did. Because of my love for them, I do hope to be reunited with them in paradise.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

We too, as humble servants should also take comfort in these words.

O Allah, shower your peace and blessings on Your Messenger Muhammad, his family, and companions, and make us his worthy followers so that we can join their company in paradise. - aboutislam.net

Stories of the Prophet Muhammad’s (pbuh) Character

Allah (swt) says in the Holy Quran, “Indeed you (O Muhammad) are of a great moral character” (68:4) and “For you in the Messenger of Allah is the finest example to follow…” (33:21)

Below are a few stories that illustrate our beloved Prophet’s beautiful character.

1. Concerned for Us:

“There has come to you a Messenger from among yourselves. Grievous to him is what you suffer; full of concern for you, to the believers kind and compassionate.” (9:128)

A’ishah narrates “Once, when I saw the Prophet in a good mood, I said to him: “O Messenger of Allah! Supplicate to Allah for me!” So, he said: “O Allah! Forgive ‘A’ishah her past sins and her future sins, the sins which she has hidden and the sins which have been made apparent.”
So I began smiling, to the point that my head fell into the lap of the Messenger of Allah out of joy.
The Messenger of Allah said to me: “Does my supplication make you happy?” I replied: “And how can your supplication not make me happy?”
He then said: “By Allah, it is the supplication that I make for my Ummah in every prayer.” (Al Bazzaar, Hasan)

The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “I wish I could meet my brothers.” The Prophet’s companions said, “Are we not your brothers?” The Prophet said, “You are my companions, but my brothers are those who have faith in me although they never saw me.” (Musnad Aḥmad)

2. Merciful:

“We have not sent you (O Muhammad) except as a mercy to all the worlds.” (21:107)

“Pray to God against the idolators,” it was said to the Prophet, “and curse them.”
“I have only been sent as a mercy, and have not been sent to curse,” was the Prophet’s reply. (Muslim)

When the Prophet went to the city of Taif to tell them about Islam and the oneness of God, the people stoned him to the point that he was bleeding. The Angel Gabriel came to him and asked, “Shall I bring together these two mountains and destroy the people of Taif who are living in between?” The Prophet did not agree to this and made a prayer for the people of Taif, saying, “O my Lord! Please give right guidance to these people! I ask for a Muslim progeny from their lineage.” (Bukhari, Muslim)

3. Compassionate:

One day, when the Prophet was sitting in Medina, members of a miserable tribe came. They had no shoes. Their skin was stuck to their bones because of hunger. The Prophet became very sad upon seeing their condition and his color changed. He had Bilal give the call to prayer and gathered his companions. From his companions, he took up a collection for the tribe, generously helping them. (Muslim and Ahmad)

Once the Prophet saw a camel which was just skin and bones. He said to the owner of that camel, “Fear Allah for these speechless animals! Do not let them stay hungry!” (Abu Dawud)

After the Battle of Badr, prisoners of war were brought. Among them was al-Abbas. He did not have a shirt on, so the Prophet looked for a shirt for him. It turned out that a shirt of Abd Allah b. Ubayy was the right size, so the Prophet gave it to al-Abbas to wear and compensated Abdullah with his own shirt. (Bukhari)

4. Patient:

“Thus it is due to mercy from Allah that you deal with them gently, and had you been rough, hard hearted, they would certainly have dispersed from around you…” (3:159)

Anas bin Malik narrates: Once I was walking with God’s Apostle and he was wearing a cloak with a thick border. A Bedouin followed him and pulled his cloak so violently that I noticed the side of the shoulder of God’s Apostle affected by the border of the cloak because of that violent pull. The Bedouin said, “O Muhammad! Give me some of God’s wealth which is with you.” God’s Apostle turned and looked at him, and smiling, he ordered that he be given something. (Bukhari)

Anas ibn Malik reports: “God’s messenger was sitting in the mosque with some of his companions when a Bedouin urinated inside the mosque. The Prophet’s companions said: ‘What is going on?’ ‘What are you doing?’ The Prophet said to them: ‘Do not interrupt him.’ He subsequently called the man and said to him: ‘These mosques are not the place where one can throw any dirt, urine or stools. They are meant for reciting the Qur’an, glorifying God and prayer.’ He then called for a bucket of water and he poured it over the urine.” (Bukhari, Muslim)

5. Honest:

The Prophet had promised Jabir bin Abdullah that he would give him some gifts from the stock of articles coming from Bahrain, but before fulfilling his promise he died. When the stock from Bahrain arrived, it was announced in public that anyone the Prophet might have promised from this stock and anyone who had lent something to the Prophet should come and take away his due. (Bukhari)

(Even on his deathbed, the Prophet was concerned about his responsibilities to others and took precautions to make sure that his responsibilities were fulfilled.)

6. Simple and Spiritual:

Umar b. Al-Khattab narrated, “I entered the Messenger’s house and found him sitting on a mat. He had a leather pillow stuffed with fibers. He had a pot of water by his feet, and there were some clothes hung on the wall. His sides had marks due to the mat he lay on. I wept when I saw this and the Messenger asked, ‘Why do you weep?’ I said, ‘O Messenger of God, Khosrou and Caesar enjoy the best of this world, and you are suffering in poverty! He said, ‘Aren’t you pleased that they enjoy this world, and we will enjoy the Hereafter?’ (Bukhari)

7. Polite:

Anas (r) remembered: “I served the holy Prophet for ten years. He never said “Uf” (an expression of dissatisfaction), nor did he ever ask me why I did this or did not do that.” (Muslim)
“My mother used to hold the Prophet’s hand and used to take him wherever she wanted. If any person used to come before him and shook his hand, the Prophet never used to draw away his hand from the other person’s hands till the latter drew away his hands, and he never used to turn away his face from that person till the latter himself turned away his face. In meetings he was never seen squatting in such a way that his knees were protruding further than his fellow squatters.” (Tirmidthi)

8. Cheerful:

A man once requested from the Prophet the use of a camel. The Prophet replied, “I can loan you a camel’s baby.” “What use to me is a camel’s baby?” queried the man. Laughing, the Prophet quipped, “Isn’t every camel the baby of another?” (Tirmidthi, Abu Dawud)

The Prophet would play with his grandchildren and carry them on his shoulders. Once when he was carrying Hasan on his shoulders, someone remarked, “O Hasan, what a great ride you have.” The Prophet smiled and replied, “And don’t you see what a great rider I have!” (Shamayal an-Nabi)

Jareer b. Abdullah said, “The Prophet did not prevent me from sitting with him since I accepted Islam. He always smiled when he looked at me. I once complained to him that I could not ride a horse and he hit me (gently) in my chest and prayed, ‘O God! Steady him, and make him a person who guides others and a source of guidance.” (Bukhari)

9. Kind:

Once some women were in the Prophet’s home to meet with him and talk about family problems. Then Umar came to visit the Prophet. The women hurriedly left the room and hid themselves. The Prophet smiled. Looking at the Prophet’s smiling face, Umar said, “May you always remain happy and smiling. Please tell me why you smiled as I entered.” The Prophet replied, “I was surprised to see that the women were afraid of you and how hurriedly they left as you entered.” Umar, hearing these remarks, spoke loudly, addressing the women, “O enemies of your souls! Why are you afraid of me? You are not afraid of the Messenger of God but you are afraid of me.” The women replied, ‘You are harsh tempered, O Umar, but the Messenger is very patient and kind.” (Bukhari)

10. Loving:

Whenever the Prophet saw Fatimah (his daughter) he would welcome her, and rising from his seat would kiss her, and then taking her by the hand would seat her in his own seat. (Bukhari)

Narrates Aisha , “I was never more jealous of any one of the Prophet’s wives than I was of Khadijah although I never saw her (because she had passed away). The Prophet remembered her much, and many a time he would slay a sheep, and cut it into pieces, and send the same to the friends of Khadijah; and many a time would I tell him, ‘It is as though there never was a woman in the world except Khadijah!’ whereupon the Prophet would say (commenting on her virtues), ‘Verily, she is such-and-such an I had children from her.’” (Bukhari, Muslim)

The Prophet Muhammad said, “O God, grant me life as a poor man, cause me to die as a poor man and resurrect me in the company of the poor.” His wife asked him why he said that, and he replied: “Because (the poor) will enter Paradise (before) the rich. Do not turn away a poor man…even if all you can give is half a date. If you love the poor and bring them near you, God will bring you near Him on the Day of Resurrection.” (Tirmidthi)

11. Loyal:

Once an old woman came to visit the Prophet. They had a warm conversation. After the old woman left, Aisha (the narrator) asked, “O Messenger of God! You showed so much interest in that old woman. I am curious about who she was?” He said, “She is someone who used to visit us when Khadija was alive. Know that loyalty comes from faith.” (Al-Hakim, Bayhaqi)

A group came to the Prophet after the incident of Hunain. They wanted freedom for the captives of war. One of them said, “O Muhammad! Our tribe has your milk-mothers and your milk-sisters! The Prophet responded with great loyalty, “I free all the captives that belong to me and the sons of Abdulmuttalib.” The other Muslims who saw this followed his action and said, “We also free our captives for the sake of the Prophet!” As a result, on that day, thousands of captives were freed without any ransom. This was a gesture of gratitude and loyalty to the milk the Prophet had been given as a child. (Bukhari)

When the Prophet conquered his homeland and birthplace, some of the Helpers (Ansar) began to voice their concern: “Allah the Most High has opened Mecca to His Prophet. From now on he will stay in Mecca and not return to Medina.” The Prophet learned of this worry and told the Helpers of Medina: “I seek refuge in Allah from doing that! My life and my death will be with you.” And the Prophet returned to Medina. (Muslim)

12. Humble:

Ayesha (may Allah be pleased with her) was asked what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) did at home. She replied, “He helped and assisted family members with their chores; and when the time of prayer came, he used to perform ablution and go out for prayer.” (Muslim)

Al-Baraa bin ‘Azib narrates, “I saw the Messenger of God on the Day of the Trench carrying dirt (that was dug from the trench) until his chest was covered with dirt.” (Bukhari)

On the day the Prophet conquered Mecca, where he was regarded by people as the most powerful man, one of his countrymen approached him. He asked trembling, “O Messenger of Allah, teach me Islam!” The Prophet said, “Relax my brother! I am not a king, nor an emperor! I am the orphan of your old neighbor (meaning his mother) who used to eat sun-dried meat!” (Ibn Majah)

13. Brave:

One night the people of Medina were terribly frightened by a strange sound. Some people proceeded toward the sound. They saw the Prophet was coming from that direction. He had rushed before all others to find out what was the trouble. He was riding the horse of Abu Talha without a saddle and a sword was hanging from his neck. He was comforting people, telling them not to be afraid, and saying there was nothing to worry about. (Bukhari)

Ali (ra) reported that in battles whenever the fighting started “We used to worry much about the Prophet because nobody was nearer to the enemy in the fighting than the Prophet.” (Ahmad)

14. Championed Human Dignity:

Once Abu Dharr al-Ghifari called Bilal “the son of a black woman”. When the Prophet heard that, he said to him, “O Abu Dharr! You are indeed someone who is still carrying traces of the time of Ignorance (Jahiliyya).” (Bukhari, Muslim)

A funeral procession once passed in front of the Prophet Muhammad and he stood up out of respect. When he was told the person in the coffin was Jewish and not Muslim, he said: “Was it not a living soul?” (Bukhari, Muslim)
An owner slapped his female slave in the face, and the Prophet ordered him to free her as compensation. (Muslim)

15. Generous:

Narrated ‘Uqba bin Al-Harith: I offered the ‘Asr prayer with the Prophet and after finishing the prayer he got up quickly and went to some of his wives and then came out. He noticed the signs of astonishment on the faces of the people caused by his speed. He then said, “I remembered while I was in my prayer that a piece of gold was lying in my house and I disliked that it should remain with us throughout the night, and so I have ordered it to be distributed.” (Bukhari)

16. Grateful:

Ayesha (ra) said that the Prophet used to pray at night until his feet would swell. She asked, “Why do you do this, O Messenger of God, when God has forgiven your past and future sins?” The Prophet replied, “Should I not be a grateful servant (Of God)?” (Bukhari)

-howtobeahappymuslim.com

“GOD IS BEAUTIFUL AND HE LOVES BEAUTY”

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "God is beautiful and He loves beauty."[1]

Some people who seek to be pious tend to underrate the value of beauty.  They fail to recognize that beauty is an Islamic value.  God intended for His Creation to contain beauty. 

God says: "And He created the cattle for you; you have in them warm clothing and (many) advantages, and of them do you eat.  And you have a sense of pride and beauty in them as you drive them home in the evening, and as you lead them forth to pasture in the morning." (Quran 16:5-6)

He says: "And (He has created) horses, mules, and donkeys, for you to ride and use as an ornament for show; and He has created (other) things of which you have no knowledge." (Quran 16:8)

Elsewhere in the Quran, God speaks about the beauty of the heavens, the stars, of gardens and myriad other things. 

Beauty stands in opposition to ugliness.  God is beautiful in His essence, in His names and attributes, and in His actions.  This is why the greatest of all pleasures in Paradise is to look upon God’s countenance.  God says: "That day will faces be resplendent, looking to their Lord" (Quran 75:22-2)

God refers to His names as being beautiful: "God’s are the most beautiful names." (Quran 7:180)

Likewise, His actions are beautiful.  They are always within the context of His beneficence and grace, or His justice and wisdom.  His actions are never in vain, never unjust, and never superfluous.  "Perfected is the Word of your Lord in truth and justice." (Quran 6:115)

God created everything with proficiency and He created the human being in the best of forms. 

The beauty that exists in Creation – on land and at sea and in the heavens – attests to God’s beauty as well as His power.  He who created beauty is most entitled to beauty.  And indeed Paradise is adorned with beauty beyond imagining. 

God’s beauty is also beyond our imagining.  Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, beseeched God with the following prayer: "I am unable to extol all of Your praises.  You are as You have extolled Yourself."[2]

Prophet Muhammad also said: "His is a veil of light.  If He were to remove it, the glory of His countenance would ignite everything of Creation as He looks upon it."[3]

Our faith in God’s beauty strengthens our connection with our Lord.  It increases our love for Him and our longing to return to Him.  Prophet Muhammad used to offer the following prayer: "I ask of You the joy of looking on Your noble countenance and of my longing to be with You."[4]

Our faith in God’s beauty should also encourage us to concern ourselves with our appearance, dress, and decorum, as well as with the beauty of our words and deeds.  This is something that God wants from us. 

Someone once approached the Prophet, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, and asked: "What if someone likes that his clothing and his shoes are beautiful?" The Prophet replied: "God loves to see the affects of His grace upon His servant."[5]

The Prophet’s Companions, following the example that the Prophet set for them, took care of their appearance. 

When the Prophet said: "God is beautiful and He loves beauty," this means that God blesses us for the beauty that we bring about through our good efforts.  He loves beauty in us, just as He loves us to be possessed with knowledge, generosity, clemency and purity. 

We have already mentioned that beauty is among the purposes of God’s Creation. 

God says: "Is not He (best) Who created the heavens and the Earth, and sends down for you water from the sky wherewith We cause to spring forth beautiful orchards, which you could not (otherwise) have grown the trees thereof?" (Quran 27:60)

"Surely We have made whatever is on the earth an embellishment for it, so that We may try them (as to) which of them is best in deed." (Quran 18:7)

"Know you (all), that the life of this world is but play, amusement, and embellishment." (Quran 57:20)

God had given His prophet Joseph (peace be upon him) half of all human beauty.[6] Likewise, Prophet Muhammad was blessed with a bright complexion and a handsome face, not to mention the beauty of his character as seen in his politeness, humility, patience, kindness and forbearance even with those who actively opposed him and the religion of Islam. - islamreligion.com

FOOTNOTES:

[1]Saheeh Muslim

[2]Saheeh Muslim

[3]Saheeh Muslim

[4]Sunan al-Nasai

[5]Sunan al-Tirmidhi

[6]Saheeh Muslim