KNOW GOD, KNOW GOOD: GOD & OBJECTIVE MORALITY (PART 3 OF 3)

What if they reject objective morality?

As a last resort some atheists try to avoid intellectual embarrassment by replying to the above conclusion by denying that morality is objective.  Fair enough.  I agree.  If someone does not accept the axiom that morals are objective, then the argument does not work.  But that is a double-edged sword.  The minute the atheist denies the objectivity of any moral claim, he has no right to point the finger at religion, or more specifically Islam, in any objective way.  He cannot even point the finger at the KKK, ISIS or even the dictatorship of North Korea! The irony here is that this is exactly what many atheists do.  They make moral judgments that have an objective flavour to them.  They should put a caveat to all of their moral judgments and simply say, "This is my subjective view." Doing that renders their moral disagreements or outrage pointless.  However, deep down inside, most sane human beings do not deny the objectivity of some basic morals, such as murder, theft and abuse.

Misunderstanding the argument

Some atheists, and even some academics, misunderstand the argument by conflating moral epistemology with moral ontology.  The argument I have presented so far is not concerned with how we get to know what is good, which refers to moral epistemology—it directs its attention to where morals come from and their nature, which refers to moral ontology.  God’s commands provide the ontological foundation for morals to be objective.  How we get to know what these morals are is a matter of moral epistemology.

The argument presented in this essay does not concern moral epistemology.  This argument is about moral ontology, which refers to the foundations and nature of morality.  The argument in its simplest form goes something like this: if something is good, is it objectively good? If it is objectively good, then it necessitates God’s existence, as He is the only foundation for objective good.  The argument does not ask how we know when something is good.

Absolute vs.  objective

A valid concern that can be raised by the keen and aspiring theologian is that within Islamic theological discourse (and virtually all of the justice systems in the world), certain situations exist where killing (such as defending one’s self and family) becomes morally permissible.  Therefore, nothing is objectively evil.  This is an interesting reflection, but it conflates absolute morality with objective morality; they are very different.  Absolute morality entails that a moral act is good or bad regardless of the given situation.  For example, someone who believes killing is absolutely wrong would believe killing is wrong even in self-defence.  Objective morality, however, readily acknowledges the context-sensitivity of some moral facts.  An objective moral fact might be killing human beings without appropriate justification is wrong.  The context-sensitive nature of this moral claim includes an important caveat that the killing must also be unjustified.  For instance, killing another human being might be seen as morally justified, if the person who was killed had been indiscriminately shooting children at a local school.  The argument I have presented does not involve absolute notions of morality.

A note on ethical relativism

An ethical relativist, who maintains that morality is relative to cultural norms, would argue that the discussion on absolute and objective morality proves that morals are not objective, and that they are relative.  Those who maintain that morals are objective would argue that what people believe or feel or do is irrelevant, and it does not take a whit away from objective moral truths (and that is precisely the definition of objectivity).  Ethical relativism is bankrupt from this perspective because it points to cultural practices to refute what is objectively true.  This is doomed to failure because the definition of objective morality is that morals are independent of feelings, beliefs and cultural practices, so to use them as a means to deny the objectivity of morals is meaningless.

This essay has some striking implications for the atheist.  If atheists consider some morals to be objective, they have to either admit that God exists—as He is the only rational foundation for the existence of objective morality—or they have to provide a compelling alternative.  If they cannot, they have to ignore their innate disposition that recognises objective good and evil, and reject the notion of objective morals altogether.  Once they do that, all their finger-pointing and moral judgements against Islam will be diminished to the level of personal subjectivity.  The argument from the stance of morality truly makes sense of the Islamic conception of the Divine.  God is perfectly good and wise, and His commands do not contradict His perfect nature.  Therefore His commands are perfectly good.  Knowing this about God gives us a foundation for objective morals.  In other words, knowing God is knowing good. -islamreligion.com

Last updated 2 June 2017.  Taken and adapted from my book "The Divine Reality: God, Islam & The Mirage of Atheism".  

READ PART 1 : Know God, Know Good: God & Objective Morality (part 1 of 3)

READ PART 2 : Know God, Know Good: God & Objective Morality (part 2 of 3)

What does Islam says about "chatting"? Is chatting with the opposite sex haram or not?

The shaitan (evil) can deceive people anytime so we should be alert...

Is chatting on the web permissible, what are its harms?

A Muslim’s talking and communicating whether mutually or virtually with one of his/her Muslim brother or sister is a good deed. But this is valid for the same group of gender. A man’s talking with a woman necessitates some points which should be taken into consideration in some aspects

For example, it is certainly not true to gossip, to lie and to talk about love, passion and things which turn on the carnal feelings. It makes no difference whether she/he is married or not for such a subject, but the sin of a married person is much more.   

But if the conversation reminds us about sacred subjects, Allah, death, afterlife and religious life; of course it is not prohibited besides is a good deed. Your criterion should be this. If you act in accordance with such rules then we can say that you are not committing sins and you are able to protect yourself. Also we recommend you to act in accordance with your conscience. If you feel a pang of conscience, immediately give up it.

For the couple thinking of marrying going somewhere alone and talking to each other is permissible and even sunnah with the condition that there must be one of their relative with them. But relations such as flirt are not permissible even if one of their relative is with them. As our religion prohibits and forbids adultery, it also prohibits and blocks off the ways which lead people to adultery.

Similarly, chatting and having small talks with the person you met on the internet is not permissible. But if the aim is to convey and to endear Islam, this is out of matter. Otherwise talking on a different way which brings minds wrong thoughts and feelings is not permissible, since such things astray people to wrong results.
Also, the essence of a family should base on a sure ground to be able to start and constitute a strong family. Therefore, as Islam advices parts to an arranged marriage, it considers their seeing each other as an essence as well.

From this point of view we can say that, the parts, who met with each other just on the internet but don’t have any idea about each other and whose families don’t have any contact with each other before, may not hold such a marriage, since such a marriage can end up disappointedly. As far as we are concerned, you or any other people should not try a marriage with such a method.-questionsonislam.com

Etiquettes on Using the Phone

Here are some useful tips on the proper use of the phone:

• When calling a Muslim, you should first greet him or her with Assalamu ‘Alaykum. Moreover, you should start any phone conversation with Assalamu ‘Alaykum.

• You should use the phone only when necessary and avoid prolonged phone conversations, exchanging long stories and anything that does not correspond with the correct use of the phone.

• Ash- Sha‘bi, may Allah have mercy upon him, narrated on the authority of Al-Mugheerah’s scribe that he said, “Mu‘aawiyah, may Allah be pleased with him, wrote to Al-Mugheerah ibn Shu‘bah, may Allah be pleased with him, asking him to write something for him that he had heard from the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. Al-Mugheerah ibn Shu‘bah, may Allah be pleased with him, wrote to him, "I once heard the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, saying: ‘Verily, Allah The Exalted disapproves for you: talking nonsense [and gossiping],wasting your money and persistently asking too many [unnecessary] questions.’” [Al-Bukhari]

• You should put an end to improper conversations, flirtatious talk and prank calls by handling them decisively and firmly. -islamweb.net

Claiming that third child must be named Muhammad

Question

Assalaamu alaykum. A friend of mine said that you must give you third child Mohammed or else you are a miser, and he attributed this information to the Prophet . Is this true?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

There is no doubt that it is good and virtuous to name one's child Muhammad because it is the name of the master of the children of Adam. Jaabir, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, "Name yourselves with my name, but do not bear my nickname (i.e. Abu Al-Qaasim)." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

Moreover, the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, "On the Day of Resurrection, you will be called by your names and your fathers' names; so give yourselves good names." [Abu Daawood, Ad-Daarimi, Ibn Hibbaan, and Ahmad]

Therefore, it is recommended to give his name and other good names, such as the names of the Prophets, to children. However, not giving children these names does not necessarily mean that a person is a miser or that it is disliked to give other names.

What was narrated from the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is that the miser is whoever hears his name and does not send peace and blessings upon him. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, "The miser is the one before whom I am mentioned and who does not invoke the blessings of Allah upon me." [Ahmad - At-Tirmithi classified this hadeeth as hasan saheeh (good or sound) and As-Suyooti graded it saheeh (sound)]

Scholars stated that the hadeeth means that one of the due rights of the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, over us is to invoke the blessings and peace of Allah upon him if he is mentioned. Some scholars said that the one who does not invoke the blessings of Allah upon the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, when he is mentioned is thus miserly with his own  self by depriving it of a great reward.

Allah knows best. -islamweb.net

A Muslim woman's marriage to a non-Muslim man is prohibited according to scholarly consensus

Question

Assallamu Allaikum.. I'm a reverted muslimah who is being with non parents to make them understand Islam. However I say they are refusing it and looking a non-Muslim guy for me. recently i came to know about Zynab(RA) marriege. I read out this "Zainab (R.A.) was the eldest daughter of the Prophet  and was born in the fifth year of his marriage to Khadijah (R.A.), when he was thirty years of age. She embraced Islam and was married to her cousin Abdul-As-bin Rabi. Her husband fought in 'Badr' for the Qureysh and fell a captive to the Muslims. Her husband also embraced Islam later and joined her in Madinah." so as per this our prophet accepted his daughter to marry a non muslim. Mohammad(SAW) is our role model and we get sunnah by following him so even we can do that?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad , is His slave and messenger.

Firstly, we congratulate you for embracing Islam. Verily, Islam is the true religion of Allah by which He has abrogated all the previous divine Messages. Therefore, Allaah does not accept any other religion from His slaves. We implore Allah to bless you and us with steadfastness on the path of Truth until death so as to achieve Paradise and savor the eternal bliss and everlasting happiness therein. We advise you to keenly seek beneficial knowledge, carry out good deeds, and attend religious lessons and gatherings in Islamic centers and other places.

You have done well by keenly striving to guide your parents to the Straight Path and invite them to embrace Islam. We supplicate Allah to render you a cause for their guidance. The Prophet , said: “It will be better for you that Allah should give guidance to one man through you than that you should acquire the red ones among the camels (i.e. high breed camels).” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] We advise you to supplicate Allaah for them and to show them the merits and virtues of Islam through your conduct and dutifulness towards them.

As for your question about marriage, it is impermissible for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man; this is a well-established rule according to scholarly consensus One of the rationales for this – other than compliance with the command of Allah – is that a woman tends to be overwhelmed by her emotions. So, it is feared that her marriage to a non-Muslim man would negatively affect her and lure her into disbelief, as some scholars highlighted.

As for your remark about the story of Zaynab  the daughter of the Prophet , and her marriage to Abu Al-‘Aas ibn Ar-Rabee‘, it should be noted that they got married in the Jaahiliyyah (pre-Islamic era). After her conversion to Islam, Zaynab  migrated to Madeenah and their marriage (to her non-Muslim husband) came to a halt until he embraced Islam later on. After his conversion to Islam, the Prophet , approved resuming their marriage with their first marriage agreement (with no new marriage contract). This story has nothing to do with the Muslim woman’s marriage to non-Muslim man.

Finally, you should try to kindly convince your parents that Islam does not approve such a marriage and it is considered Zina and a hideous and disgraceful act. In the meantime, you are advised to seek the help of your fellow Muslims to find a pious Muslim man who is a suitable spouse for you in order to put an end to this problem. It should be noted that it is permissible for a Muslim woman to ask a righteous man whom she wishes to marry to be her husband as long as this is done within the limits and boundaries of noble Islamic manners set by the Sharee‘ah. 

Allah Knows best. -islamweb.net

He used to keep himself busy serving his family - II

It is narrated on the authority of As-Siddeeqah (‘Aa’ishah), daughter of As-Siddeeq (Abu Bakr), may Allah be pleased with them, the wife of the best of creation, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, that she said, describing his conduct in his house, “He used to keep himself busy serving his family.” [Al-Bukhari] “He, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to sew his garments, stitch his sandals, and do all things that men do in their homes.” [Al-Albaani: Saheeh]

It is narrated on the authority of Al-Aswad  that he said: I asked ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, about what the Messenger of Allah, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to do at home, thereupon she said, “He used to keep himself busy serving his family, and once the prayer was due, he would come out for the prayer.” [Al-Bukhari]

It is narrated on the authority of ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, that she was asked about what the Messenger of Allah, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to do at home, thereupon she said, “He was a human being like other human beings. he used to take out lice from his garment, milk his sheep and serve himself.” [Al-Albaani: Saheeh]

The Hadeeth (narration) indicates, if not exhorts men to serve their families. The noblest of creation used to sew his garment and stitch his sandals! So, why do you, my brother, not follow his example, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and join your wife in the service of the house, like washing the dishes and other chores, even if not on a regular basis? Whilst doing so, you should remember the statement of ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, “The Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to keep himself busy serving his family.” That, to be sure, has the most impressive effect in increasing the ties of affection and mercy between the spouses.

Although he was the Prophet of Allah, sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam, and the head of the Muslim state, he found the time to serve his household. What a great tutor he is!

If you are not doing so already, dear brother, I invite you to start sharing household duties with your wife, and please her, even with a little work in the house. Although she may not let you do so, she will surely appreciate your endeavor and this will increase her respect for you. Rather, she would hasten to do the work instead of you but with great happiness, and the feeling that all her tiredness is gone, after she learns that you appreciate her service in the house. With mere appreciation (of her service) and a little work, your happiness at home will become enduring and your leadership will be secure.

The husband’s role

The husband should co-operate with his wife at home through:

1- Personally helping his wife in the responsibilities of the house.

He should contribute towards the household chores with his wife as much as lies within his capacity. The Messenger of Allah, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to keep himself busy serving his family, and so did the Companions, may Allah be pleased with them. Since the Messenger of Allah, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, practiced this, then, it becomes incumbent upon any other husband to act in accordance with his Sunnah (tradition), sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.

2- Reducing his demands and not blaming the wife for deficiency.

It is not considered good treatment if the husband makes too many demands on his wife in serving him and his household, neither should he take her to task harshly in case she falls short.

3- Determining the household responsibilities:

Have you told your husband that his helping you with the housework makes you love him more? Help with the housework can become a means to fulfill other emotional needs which the other party needs to be reminded of.

Before housework turns into a cause of dispute between the spouses, we suggest imposing the policy of shared agreement, and sitting together to solve the basic problems. What is required now is:

1- A quiet night and psychological readiness
2- Paper and a pen
3- Smiles and patience

In this atmosphere, each of the spouses should determine the tasks to be done by him/her. The housework may be divided into:

1- Tasks you like to do and do not need any help to do them.
2- Tasks you are satisfied with but need the help of the other party
3- Tasks you regard as the responsibility of the other party alone
4- Tasks of the other party in which you are willing to help.

Then, each party is required to show his/her agreement or disagreement on those items. In this way, the responsibilities are determined, and each party is held responsible for the tasks he/she has agreed to do.

In this way, both spouses can care for the feelings of each other, and bring happiness to one another. When a married couple holds a discussion, they should observe the following tips:

1- To be nice and pleasant during the discussion
2- To be calm, first of all, and stay away from belligerent behavior
3- A dead end does not mean that the discussion is over, but that it should be postponed to avoid a clash
4- To make sure to put yourself in the place of the other party.

You may also make a special list for the children of the chores they can do, so that they would learn how to bear their share of the responsibility for doing the housework.

In conclusion

Try to help your wife in some of the housework in order to make her feel that you care about her, and that you appreciate her efforts. Ask her to rest and not do any housework if she is tired, and do that work yourself instead of her. Of a surety, this increases the affection and mercy between you, keeps the river of love flowing, and raises your share in her bank of love.

Your little bit of work at home is like salt in the food. So, share in the housework even if it is just a little, out of appreciation and acknowledgement of the great service your wife does for you, perchance you would spur her to work willingly and relentlessly, and her body and soul will be at your disposal without complaint. -islamweb.net

READ PART 1 - He used to keep himself busy serving his family - I

He used to keep himself busy serving his family - I

Some wives complain, in their messages, that their husbands do not bother to do any chores related to the family, whether inside or outside the house, even if it is a routine or simple matter, and this, of course, makes them feel sad, hurt and frustrated.

Dear Muslim husband and wife,

To help with the housework is one of the emotional requirements of the wife. It creates a feeling of peace and happiness within the house. This help includes, for instance, cooking meals, washing dishes, washing and ironing clothes, cleaning the house and taking care of the children.

In the beginning of the marriage, the husband automatically co-operates with his wife in the housework; a help which she welcomes.

But with the passage of time, and with the husband’s increasing engagement in his work outside the house, neither the husband nor the wife regard it as an important emotional requirement, and at that point, the countdown of the time bomb starts.

When the children come, the needs automatically increase: there is a need to increase the income and to bear more household responsibilities.

While the mother focuses on the needs of the infant, the father’s natural reaction to help takes the form of providing more money, which makes him mainly concerned with his work: he searches for overtime at work in the hope of increasing his salary.

Here, many disputes take place between the spouses, especially when the wife is a working woman, and is exposed to the same pressure that the husband is exposed to.

This can be avoided if both spouses tackle the issue with love and intelligence. Failing this, the reserves of the bank of love will suffer.

Most husbands do not help with the housework, whether or not their wives work. The working wives return home exhausted and unable to do the housework in the best manner, which means that a lot of work in the house remains undone.

Such women hardly rest, even on holidays: they spend all their time taking care of their children, cleaning the house and doing the laundry. They then need help with the housework, which forces them to resort to external help from maids, in order to be able to cover that emotional need. Running the household and fulfilling the husband’s demands contribute in increasing her share in his bank of love; and vice versa, i.e. helping the wife contribute in increasing his share in her bank of love.

Shared responsibilities

Both the man and woman have a role to play and responsibility to bear in the house. Good companionship between them requires that they should co-operate in these responsibilities. Among the most important responsibilities due upon the woman is to dispose of the household affairs, and nurture the children.

These responsibilities, though borne by the woman for the most part, should be shared between the spouses according to the principle of co-operation.

The emotional needs of both the woman and the man

Confidence and care are among the emotional needs of both the man and woman.

When the wife has confidence in her husband’s capability, he becomes more eager to care for and serve her. Similarly, when the husband cares for his wife, she becomes more confident of him and of his capabilities.

The joy of sharing

Successful spouses are those who share in doing many simple things, like planning for the future, arranging the library, cooking a quick meal, making arrangements for something related to the children, and other such simple tasks which contribute to the kind treatment and affection between them. Thus, each of the spouses feels happy and contented on seeing his/her partner beside him, sharing his/her joy and grief, and not leaving him/her. A successful life is based on the principle of give and take, love and reassurance that there is someone who supports the person and will always be by his side no matter what happens.

Emotional contentment

The family’s beauty is reflected in the co-operation between the spouses in carrying the burdens of life. At times, the husband sacrifices and serves his wife, and the wife does the same at other times and serves her husband.

Service is not the exclusive characteristic of one of the spouses without the other: both spouses are partners in it. The best way to treat a woman is if her husband sympathizes with her regarding the housework, and assists her in this regard. If a woman, who is a housewife devotes her effort and energy to the service of her husband and children, and, at the same time, receives neither encouragement nor appreciation, she will fall a victim to frustration and intense emotional deprivation. This is why the Messenger of Allah, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, took this into consideration. He never obligated his wives with the burden of his service. He used to serve himself, and hasten to help his wives, to the extent that he would put his leg forward for one of them to mount a camel.

A man’s awareness of this fact, good treatment and service of their wives has an impressive effect on their spiritual tranquility and emotional stability. This causes the woman to receive her husband in a state of utmost happiness and contentment, no matter how destitute and poor they might be. -islamweb.net

Smile to Make Your Children Happy

The following are some lines from the diary of a child speaking about his happy childhood,
"My father was always cheerful and his smile never left his face, even in the most difficult situations. This smile meant a great deal to us as it revealed how much our father loves us. This smile used to force us to behave properly and avoid mistakes so as not to anger our father and miss his smile even for a second.

My father’s smile was the source of our psychological balance. It provided us with warmth, confidence, frankness and courage in the face of hardships. May Allah reward him with the best."

Protagonists of the frowning approach:

Some parents and educators adopt the frowning method in dealing with their children. Hence, they avoid speaking with them cordially or smiling at them. They believe that there should be strict limits between parents and their children so that they can succeed in their upbringing.
They think that smiling and cheerfulness with children will spoil them, while frowning and sullenness represent the discipline and resolve that are necessary for any successful upbringing. Unfortunately, we are sorry to tell such people that this is the approach of the weak, who have not mastered the art of entering into the hearts, even the hearts of the closest people to them: their children!
People with great souls are the only ones who can always be cheerful with their children, while they control the process of upbringing in such a way that ensures their children are close enough to learn from them and obey their orders within a warm family environment.
The wise educator can direct his child through his smile and look, embrace him compassionately, and treat his mistakes with patience.
This little smile may be of great importance and influence on the child, especially that he receives it from his source of protection and role model.

Cheerfulness is from the guidance of the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam:
The guidance of the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, regarding cheerfulness, is amazing. He was always cheerful and used to smile at his Companions. Jareer ibn ‘Abdullaah Al-Bajali, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “Whenever the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, saw me after I had embraced Islam, he would receive me with a smile.” [Al-Bukhari]
This was not confined to Jareer, may Allah be pleased with him, as ‘Abdullaah ibn Al-Haarith, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “I have never seen anyone who smiles more than the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam.” [Al-Albaani: Saheeh]
Besides, Umm Ad-Dardaa’, may Allah be pleased with her, said, “Abu Ad-Dardaa’ used to smile whenever he spoke. So I told him to stop doing this for fear that people may think that he was simple minded. However, Abu Ad-Dardaa’ may Allah be pleased with her, said, ‘I have never seen or heard the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, speaking without smiling.’” Hence, he used to smile whenever he spoke in imitation of the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam.

The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, was very caring, thoughtful and compassionate towards children. It was never reported that he frowned at any child throughout his life; rather, whenever he met them, he would smile at them even if he was accompanied by his honorable Companions.

Moreover, Jaabir, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated: "We were with the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, when we were invited to have food. On our way, we saw Al-Husayn playing with the boys in the street. The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, hurried and opened his arms. Al-Husayn started running here and there while the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, was laughing with him. The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, took him and put one of his hands on his chin and the other between his head and ears, then he embraced and kissed him and said:Husayn belongs to me and I belong to him, may Allah, The Almighty, love whoever loves him. Al-Hassan and Al-Husayn are two of the noblest of men.'" [At-Tabaraani] [Al-Albaani: Hasan]
The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, also taught us that a smile may sustain others, especially those who are under our care. The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said: “You cannot please all people with your money, but you could do this through your cheerfulness and good morals.” [Muslim]

Is there any of us who does not need to please his children through his cheerfulness and good morals? Is there anyone who does not need to do so today, when he sees that the educator’s mission has become one of the most difficult on earth? The protection of children against immorality and other social problems have become issues that require a great deal of supplication and great balance in the personality of the educator, to be able to sustain his children and establish a successful relationship with them. This relationship serves as gravity that always attracts them to their good origins, and strengthens them in the face of the wild storms of immorality that blow from all directions.

The default principle in dealing with one’s children:

Smiling at our children is the default principle as we learned from the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, while frowning should be an educational punishment that should be used wisely and only when necessary. Certainly, cheerfulness strengthens the relationship between the educator and the child, while frowning causes the child to dislike his parent and weakens their mutual love.

‘Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “One should be like a young boy among his family, but when he is needed as a man, he should be so [i.e. act as a man].” The meaning is that cheerfulness and good morals as well as joking with one’s family and children is the best way to lead them, provided that this does not affect the parent’s respect.

You may even use what is called (the angry smile) when you punish or blame your child as a form of silent, yet effective, punishment. The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, taught us how to use the smile even when we are angry. Ka‘b ibn Maalik, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated his story when he did not participate in the Battle of Tabook without a valid excuse. He said, “When news reached me that the Messenger of Allah was on his way back from Tabook, I was greatly distressed… I greeted him, he smiled, and there was a tinge of anger in that. He, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, then said to me: 'Come forward'. I went forward and I sat in front of him. He, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said to me: `What kept you back?’”[Al-Bukhari and Muslim] Therefore, smile, dear educator!

Cheerfulness and smiling is important to have a calm child:

A sense of humor helps children to get rid of the feelings of anger and embarrassment. It also spreads happiness in the house and warmth in the heart, in addition to providing children with a feeling of safety that they would miss if their educator was one of those who adhere to the frowning method.

Good Growth:
German psychiatrists’ studies proved that laughter from the bottom of the heart has a deep influence on the child’s growth during his early years. Based on the results of these studies, psychiatrists confirmed that laughter is as important as food and that the child who laughs much grows well.

Educational Excellence:

Psychiatrists always stress the positive influence of a smile on the educational process. They say that fun creates a psychological environment full of happiness and satisfaction, and this releases the mental abilities to learn easily. That is because joyfulness prepares the mental abilities to expand and grow contrary to the environment of sadness and pessimism that gives a despondent impression about life.

Smiling attaches the child to his parents:

If your smile springs from your heart and expresses true love for and admiration of your child, then it will have a good psychological impact on the child and provide him with happy memories and strong love for his parents, particularly if they use eye contact to convey their true love and appreciation to him.

Dear readers and educators, this shows us that the more a parent is cheerful, the stronger his relationship with his children will be, and vice versa. Allah, The Almighty, Says (what means): {And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you.} [Quran 3:159]

Do not forget to smile at your child when he enters upon you… when you leave the house…when he leaves the house…when you receive him upon returning from school…when you enter upon him returning from work…do not forget to smile when you wake him up and let him see your smile before anything else.

When you put him to bed, do not forget to smile at him so that he may have the best dreams ever. Smile when you ask him about his faults so that he can feel safe and tell you the truth. Finally, smile to immunize your children against feelings of fear and sadness, and turn your relationship with them into an uninterrupted and wonderful series of successful communication.
In such a case, they will respond to your instructions and long to meet you. They will never think of doing anything that angers you because they do not want to lose your SWEET SMILE for any reason. -islamweb,net

Working Women

Question

Assalaamualaikum,

1. What is the ruling of Islam on women who work in public for religious or other activities.

2. Are women allowed to go to the Masjid to perform the Friday prayer and other prayers?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad , is His slave and Messenger.

In principle, a woman's work is restricted to her household duties, her familial duties and her maternal duties. She is not supposed to go out of her house except for a reason that is accepted under Sharee'ah, such as a personal or social need that requires her to go out of her house to satisfy that need, provided that the work does not include any violations to the Sharee’ah.

For example, it is lawful for a woman to work if she has no one to spend on her, and she must work in order to provide for her own living and expenses. Some women find themselves without means of support due to the lack or absence of family members, or due to them being poor, sick, or other reasons. In such cases, a woman is obliged to take care of herself within the limits set by the Sharee’ah.

Another example is when the society in need for her specialty such as in teaching fellow females, giving them medical treatment, calling them to Islam (Da'wah) and similar jobs which should be done mainly by women, because assiging such tasks to men would have more disadvantages than benefits. However, any work that a woman does should be compatible with her natur such as the administration of kindergartens, girls' schools, social foundations, charitable institutions designed for women and children and similar organizations provided it is free from any religious prohibition. However, if a woman is married, the permission of her husband is a pre-condition to any work that she does outside her home. Moreover, such work should not negatively affect the rights of her husband, children and her home as a whole.

Moreover, she must adhere to the proper Hijab, be decent, and avoid any place where she might mix with non-Mahram men or be alone with them. Besides, when going outside, a woman should not wear adornments or perfume as this is prohibited and could be reasons of temptation.

2  With regards to your second question, it is permissible for a woman to enter the mosque at any time provided that she is not in her menses, or in a state of sexual defilement or in Nifaas (the confinement period after childbirth). In such states, she should not enter the mosque until she becomes pure from any impurities. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {O you who have believed, do not approach prayer while you are intoxicated until you know what you are saying or in a state of Janaabah, except those passing through [a place of prayer], until you have washed [your whole body]. And if you are ill or on a journey or one of you comes from the place of relieving himself or you have contacted women and find no water, then seek clean earth and wipe over your faces and your hands [with it]. Indeed, Allah is ever Pardoning and Forgiving.} [Quran 4: 43]

For example , the wives of the Prophet , used to visit him while he,  , was performing I’tikaaf (confining oneself in the mosque with the intention of worship). It is also reported in an authentic narration that he ,  said: "The best rows for men are the first rows, and the worst rows for them are the last rows, and the best rows for women are the last rows and the worst rows for them are the first rows". The Prophet , made it clear in this narration that women could join the congregational prayer in the mosque. Moreover, the Prophet , ordered men not to prevent women from going to the mosque if they ask their permission to do so.

Allah Knows best. -islamweb.net

How to Deal with Inevitable Divorce

Question 

I am going through a terrible time. My husband filed for a divorce from me. My family tried through many means and people to make reconciliation. His family keeps saying no. They do not even answer the phone. Sadly we also have a small son, and my husband and his family clearly do not care about him. And there is no good reason for the divorce except that his parents are forcing him to do so. They also made his younger brother divorce his wife.

In my severe state of desperation, I did many bad things which I regret, like going to soothsayers, astrologers, and magicians so that they could tell me what will happen and try to do something to save my marriage. The charlatans and magicians say send us money and we will do some prayers and you will get patched up. The astrologers all say different things; some said that I will definitely get divorced. I now know that these people are mostly just telling lies since everyone says something different and only Allah knows what will happen and can change what is happening. I really regret going to these people. Is Allah punishing me by not making any reconciliation happen between my husband and I? How can I gain Allah's forgiveness? I do pray and ask Him to forgive me and produce a miracle so that I may return to my husband. What will happen to me and my son? It was difficult getting married the first time around. If I get divorced, who will accept me and my son? I am extremely depressed and suicidal. I really do not know what to do anymore.

If I cannot get married again, who will take care of me and my son? My parents are old and will not be around forever. There are so many things to worry about. I have no friends or anyone to talk to. Everything seems so hopeless.

Answer:

May Allah make it easy for you. Life in this world is full of challenges and trials. Whoever thinks that life can be as we wish for it to be is deceiving himself and prone to a miserable life. The only way for you to live a good life is to realise its purpose and worship Allah accordingly. Before we get into the issue of your marital problem, you should know that you committed a major sin when you went to soothsayers and the like of them. This is an act of disbelief if a person believes them, and just going to see them is a major sin. It is a good thing that you repented to Allah from this major sin; may Allah accept your repentance. Remain steadfast in your repentance to Allah, and increase your acts of worship and charity. Allah Is the Most Merciful, and He accepts the repentance of His slaves if they are sincere and truthful in it, so always think well of Allah.

Your repentance should not be because you discovered that the soothsayers are liars but rather because Allah forbade going to them; thus your repentance will be sincere and truthful.

As for the future, the worst thing that seems to worry you is that your husband divorces you, though that would not be the end of the world, neither is it comparable to Hellfire, which Allah warned us from. One of the important things that help one to be patient is to stop magnifying problems. You are not going to be the first or the last that ever gets divorced. Life goes on, and Allah is the One Who is able to give you a better husband and a better life.

So do not be a pessimist, and have good expectations of Allah. Allah only decrees what is good, even if it comes in the form of calamities. The good side is for the believer to remain patient and steadfast on the religion, which increases their rewards, and on the Day of Resurrection, they will wish that the test and tribulation had been even harder. We are ordered to ask for strength in this life, and when calamities take place, we should be patient because Allah promised the patient ones great rewards.

Many women never get married in the first place, and they can only wish to have gotten a son, as you did, so be grateful, and Allah will increase His bounties over you.

May Allah keep your family strong, but you need to be strong while facing trials in this life. As long as you use the means to avoid divorce, then there is no blame on you. Here are some points of advice to try to avoid the breakup of your family:

1- Turn to Allah with sincere supplications. Make sure you never miss the prayer at its appointed time, repent to Allah from all sins, wake up at the last third of the night and pray with sincere supplications to Allah. See where your shortcomings are, and fix them by repenting to Allah. Make religion the most important thing in your life, so much so that you feel that if you would lose everything but your religion, then you really would not have lost anything at all.

2- Look into the reason why your husband wants to divorce you. His family probably have a reason for that, even if it is false and not true, but try to be sincere in doing the opposite of what they are accusing you of.

3- Treat your husband well, and never dispute with him; if he says harsh words to you, then be patient and remain kind.

4- Remind your husband about the goodness between him and you, and also about your son, as he needs his father as much as he needs his mother, and that anything can be fixed and you can change to be as he expects.

5- Seek help from scholars whom your husband respects in your locality; they can advise him and work things out.

6- Be strong by relying on Allah, and if the worst happens, then be patient and know that Allah wants something better for you with patience and devotion.

7- Suicide is a major sin; there is warning of eternity in the Fire of Hell for those who commit this evil act. No matter how big your calamity is in this world, it is not equal to one dip in the Hellfire. Therefore, remain patient, and Allah is the Provider, and He is Merciful and All-Knowing.

May Allah make it easy for you, and if you apply this advice, then, by the Will of Allah, everything will be good. -islamweb.net

KNOW GOD, KNOW GOOD: GOD & OBJECTIVE MORALITY (PART 2 OF 3)

Euthyphro’s dilemma

Many atheists respond to the above argument from morality by citing Plato’s dilemma or Euthyphro’s dilemma. It goes like this: Is something morally good because God commands it, or does God command it because it is morally good?

This dilemma poses a problem for theists who believe in an All-Powerful God because it requires them to believe in one of two things: either morality is defined by God’s commands or morality is external to His commands. If morality is based on God’s commands, what is good or evil is arbitrary. If this is the case, there is nothing we as humans should necessarily recognise as objectively evil. This would imply that there is nothing intrinsically wrong with, say, killing innocent children—just that God puts the ‘evil’ label on it arbitrarily. The other horn of the dilemma implies that some sort of a moral standard is completely outside and independent of God’s essence and nature, and even God is obligated to live by this standard. However, that would be clearly undesirable for the theist, since it would make him admit that God is not All-Powerful or independent after all; rather, He has to rely on a standard external to Himself.

This intuitively sounds like a valid contention. However, a little reflection exposes it as a false dilemma. The reason is due to a third possibility: God is good. Professor of Philosophy Shabbir Akhtar, in his book The Qur’an and the Secular Mind, explains:

"There is a third alternative: a morally stable God of the kind found in scripture, a supreme being who would not arbitrarily change his mind about the goodness of compassion and the evil of sexual misconduct. Such a God always commands good because his character and nature are good."[1]

What Professor Akhtar is saying is that there is indeed a moral standard, but unlike what the second horn of the dilemma suggests, it is not external to God. Rather, it follows necessarily from God’s nature. As previously discussed, Muslims, and theists in general, believe that God is necessarily and perfectly good. As such, His nature contains within it the perfect, non-arbitrary, moral standard. This means that an individual’s actions—for example, the killing of innocents—is not arbitrarily bad, because it follows from an objective, necessary, moral standard. On the other hand, it does not mean God is somehow subservient to this standard because it is contained in His essence. It defines His nature; it is not in any way external to Him.

An atheist’s natural response would be "You must know what good is to define God as good, and therefore you haven’t solved the problem". The simple reply would be that God defines what good is. He is the only Being worthy of worship because He is the most perfect and moral Being. The Qur’an affirms these points:

"And your god is one God. There is no deity [worthy of worship] except Him, the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful." (Quran 2:163)

"He is God, other than whom there is no deity, Knower of the unseen and the witnessed. He is the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful. He is God, other than whom there is no deity, the Sovereign, the Pure, the Perfection, the Bestower of Faith, the Overseer, the Exalted in Might, the Compeller, the Superior. Exalted is God above whatever they associate with Him. He is God, the Creator, the Inventor, the Fashioner; to Him belong the best names. Whatever is in the heavens and Earth is exalting Him. And He is the Exalted in Might, the Wise." (Quran 59:22-24)

In summary, moral truths are ultimately derivatives of God’s will expressed via His commands, and His commands do not contradict His nature, which is perfectly good, wise, pure and perfect.

Are there any alternative foundations for objective morals?

Many atheists argue that there are alternative explanations to answer why some morals are objective. Some of the most popular alternatives include biology, social pressure, and moral realism.

Biology

Can biology explain our sense of objective morality? The simple answer is no. Charles Darwin provides us with an interesting ‘extreme example’ of what happens when biology or natural selection forms the foundation of morality. He argues that if we were the result of a different set of biological conditions, then what we consider morally objective could be totally different: "If men were reared under precisely the same conditions as hive-bees, there can hardly be a doubt that our un-married females would, like the worker-bees, think it a sacred duty to kill their brothers, and mothers would strive to kill their fertile daughters, and no one would think of interfering."[2]

In other words, if morals are contingent on biological changes, it would render morals subject to these changes; therefore they cannot be objective. Extending Darwin’s example, if we happened to be reared under the same conditions as the nurse shark, we would think it acceptable to rape our partner, as the nurse shark wrestles with its mate.[3]  Some respond by asserting that it is specifically natural selection that forms the basis for our sense of objective morality. Again, this is false. Conceptually, all that natural selection can do is give us the ability to formulate moral rules to help us survive and reproduce. As the moral philosopher Philip Kitcher writes, "All that natural selection may have done for us is to equip us with the capacity for various social arrangements and the capacity to formulate ethical rules."[4]

Maintaining that biology provides a basis for morality removes any meaning we attach to morals. Morals become meaningless, as they are just a result of non-rational and non-conscious biological changes. However, the fact that morality comes from Divine commands gives morals meaning, because being moral would be responding to these commands. In other words, we have moral duties, and these are owed to God. You cannot owe anything to a collection of molecules.

Social pressure

The second alternative is social pressure or consensus. This, I believe, is where a lot of atheists and humanists face some difficulty, philosophically speaking. If social pressure really forms the basis of objective morals, then the proponents of this assertion face a huge issue. Firstly, it makes morals relative, as they are subject to inevitable social changes. Secondly, it leads to moral absurdities. If someone accepts consensus as a basis for morals, then how can we justify our moral position towards what the Nazis did in 1940s Germany? How can we claim that what they did was objectively morally wrong? Well, we cannot. Even if you claim that some people in Germany fought against the Nazis, the point is that there was a strong consensus supporting the evil. There are many other examples in history to highlight this point.

Moral realism

The final alternative is moral realism. Moral realism, also referred to as moral objectivism, is the view that morals are objective and they are external and independent to our minds and emotions. However, the difference between moral realism and what this essay has been advocating is that moral realists do not assert that they require any foundation. So moral truths such as compassion, justice and tolerance just exist objectively.

There are a few problems with this position. Firstly, what does it mean that justice just exists? Or that objective moral values just exist? This position is counterintuitive and meaningless. We simply do not know what ‘justice’ is, existing on its own. Significantly, one has to understand that if morals are objective (in that they are outside of an individual’s personal opinion), then they require a rational explanation. Otherwise, the question How are they objective? is unanswered. Secondly, morality is not limited to recognising the truth of compassion or justice. Morality entails a sense of duty or obligation; we are obligated to be compassionate and just. Under moral realism such obligations are impossible, because recognising that a certain moral truth is objective does nothing to ensure that we are obligated to implement that moral truth. A moral obligation does not follow from just acknowledging that it is objective. Following through with one’s moral obligations would make sense if they are owed, or if there is a sense of duty. Moral realism does not provide any reason why someone must be obliged to be moral. However, if these moral truths are Divine commands, then not only do they make these morals objective, but they establish the basis for being obligated to be moral—because we have a duty to obey the commands of God.

In light of the above discussion, it is obvious that objective morality necessitates God’s existence, as He is external to the universe and can make the universal moral claim via His commands. -islamreligion.com

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FOOTNOTES:

[1]Akhtar, S. (2008) The Qur’an and the Secular Mind. Abingdon: Routledge, p.99.

[2]Darwin, C. (1874) The Descent of Man and Selection in Relation to Sex. 2nd Edition, p. 99. Available at: http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/2300 [Accessed 4th October 2016].

[3]National Geographic (1996). Sharks in Love. Available at: http://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/shark_nurse_mating [Accessed 24th October 2016].

[4]cited in Linville, M. D. (2009) The Moral Argument. In: Craig, W. L. and Moreland, J. P. (ed.). The Blackwell Companion to Natural Theology. West Sussex: Wiley-Blackwell, p. 400.

READ PART 1 : Know God, Know Good: God & Objective Morality (part 1 of 3)