Media and the Islamic Identity of Children - II

1- The importance of protecting children from the media invasion and the obliteration of identity:
Childhood is one of the most important stages in one’s life, because his personality and tendencies are formed during this time, in addition to physical and mental growth.

Psychological and educational studies prove that this is the most critical stage in a person’s development, and that the child stores the majority of the experiences and information that affect his life in the future during this stage.

The child, as described by Al-Ghazzaali  is a “blank sheet in which we may write down good or evil. So, if we habituate him to be good, he will be a good, and vice versa.”

Therefore, it is vital that we pay attention to the child and ensure that what is introduced to him in his social environment is intellectually beneficial to reflect positively on the young child, his behavior and development.

Today, our children face an intellectual invasion in a world dominated by influential cultures that own the most influential mass media.

Hence, there must be practical means to protect children from the bad and negative programs that are presented to them.
Ismaa‘eel ‘Abd Al-Kaafi, says, "We must preserve the Islamic identity of our generations through providing them with suitable cultural and media production alternatives to exist side by side with foreign media and cultural products in this age of information technology.

The family, school, mosque, mass media and the society as a whole should participate in guiding and directing this process. The society must be aware of the danger of mass media against our children if they are not directed rightly under the supervision of different educational institutions."

2- Types of educational means and their influence on the child’s identity and culture:

1- TV as a means of media: There is no doubt that watching TV daily occupies the spare time of the children and adults as well. They acquire information and are introduced to different cultures through it. One of the negative impacts of TV, to which we should pay attention, is that the children spend many hours in front of it. This affects their social life and relations as well as their behavior with their playmates.

TV also affects their studies and the negative effect of the violence and crime on TV programs cannot be denied.
This shows us the role of the TV in sowing the seeds of fear and worry in our children through horror movies and movies featuring ghosts and devils.

2- Computer as a means for developing the culture of the young:

PC and video games are among the most influential factors in guiding and directing children. Educational studies reveal that computer programs can have negative and positive effects on the culture of the Muslim child.

The positive effects include strengthening the child’s ability to read, write, express himself orally, listen, and pay attention.

They also provide the child with general culture, teach him some scientific principles, help him to learn foreign languages, and help him to develop his artistic and mathematical abilities.

These programs also strengthen the child’s ability to solve problems, improve his social adjustment, develop his skills and hobbies, and make use of his spare time.

On the other hand, these programs have negative effects, because they weaken the child’s ability to perform social activities and duties. They also distract the child from playing physical games. Negative health effects include habituating the child to laziness and may cause obesity due to lack of movement, in addition to deterioration of general health.

Despite the benefits of these programs, their use as a means of education and culture ‎is still limited in comparison to direct social interaction. Their role in education and culture is still weaker than the printed and visual mass media in poorer communities and among lower classes.

The Internet absorbs the child’s attention and makes many children lose their ability to talk and communicate with others.

3- Printed mass media and stories as sources of the child’s culture:

Printed materials such as books and magazines still play an important role in developing children’s culture, because they encourage creative abilities, entertain the child, occupy his spare time and develop his hobbies.

Printed media refines behavior and instills good morals, corrects deviant characters and loosens the shackles of blind imitation and foreign destructive ideas.

We want to transform the printed media and all mass media into resources that enrich the child’s culture away from all the materials that do not accord with our social environment and culture.

Stories are considered a vital resource that can implant correct beliefs in the child’s mind, provides him with facts, and reinforce the educational process. Children’s literature is a positive means that forms the religious creed and develops cultural experiences.

A story is still considered a beacon and an important educational method and its content has always played a key educational role because of its psychological and educational advantages.  -islamweb.net

READ PART 1 - Media and the Islamic Identity of Children - I

Media and the Islamic Identity of Children - I

1- The meaning of the child’s culture:

Culture refers to a combination of beliefs, morals, traditions, laws, knowledge and behavioral patterns that one acquires within society.

Children have their special and distinguished vocabularies, as well as special values and methods that they use in playing, expressing themselves and satisfying their needs. They also have special reactions, stances, trends, emotions and lifestyle. We call all this the “child’s culture”.

2- Mass media as a source of the child’s culture and experiences:

Today all cultural borders between nations have disappeared and we live now amidst a massive technological and scientific revolution within which the mass media plays a very important role in forming the child’s psychology religiously, culturally and socially. To have a child with a distinct and integrated personality, there should be a specific vision to preserve his cultural and religious identity.

In this respect, the mass media including TV, the Internet, electronic games, and so on, play a key role in building the Muslim child culturally. It should be determined what is introduced to him from the other cultures.
Studies all over the world show that the child between the ages of six to sixteen spends about 12-24 hours a week in front of screens.

Influence of the mass media on the child:

The mass media provides a small child with different cultures while he is still unable to differentiate between what is good and what is bad. This transforms the mass media into a double-edged weapon with its positive and negative influences. This should draw our attention to the fact that the mass media and media institutions that are directed to the child and that are concerned with childhood should be the center of attention of the whole society.

We do not deny the importance of print, audio, and visual mass media in forming learning experiences, and defining, modifying and dispersing attitudes. Similarly, we do not deny the role of the mass media in developing the child’s personality, polishing his skills, and developing his mental, emotional and social abilities. The media for the child is a method for guidance and entertainment, as well as a means for transferring and establishing traditions. However, where are the mass media that cover all that interests the child?

The media materials that our children watch on TV or other mass media can be divided into three categories:

The first category:

Disney films, which are made in the West and that aim at serving the American culture in particular. The theme of these films is derived from their Western values, which contradict our own Islamic traditions and values. So-called "love" dominates every single word of these stories, which aim to mold the child’s mentality in a certain way. If we contemplate the appearance, we will find that they fulfill the criteria of material beauty.

Therefore, a child who watches such films will grow up knowing nothing but the Western concept of beauty, not to mention that these films aim at making profits in the first place. This attitude transforms the child into a consumer, because once he sees the story, he hurries to buy pens and notebooks that carry the pictures of its heroes.

The second category:

The Far East dubbed cartoon films that are characterized by wild imagination and featuring violent electronic aliens that walk in the streets to destroy and kill. These films are introduced to the Arab child through the local mass media.

The third category:

This category is represented in the local materials that are produced by private and public media establishments. They are mostly in audio or video format. However, they are artistically and technically weak and cannot compete with the other alternatives. Nevertheless, some successful and beneficial works appear from time to time. Some institutions also produce stories derived from the Quran and Islamic history in addition to Nasheeds (Islamic poetry). However, such materials are too few to meet the Muslim child’s needs.

3- Mass media and their influence on the identity and culture of the Muslim child:

The issue of the mass media and the Muslim child’s culture is critical, given the important role of the mass media in transferring the Ummah’s culture from generation to generation. The mass media are also considered cultural means that help in supporting stances, encouraging desired behaviors and warning against undesired ones. This shows us the greatness of the responsibility of the mass media that target the Muslim child and those who run them.

The majority of studies and researches in this field show that belonging to a strong and civilized environment with a distinct identity since early childhood is one of the most influential factors in the child’s upbringing and culture. Hence, the mass media shoulder a great responsibility regarding focusing on the Islamic values that should be implanted in the child to form a set of beliefs that express his Islamic identity. -islamweb.net

Motivation to repentance

Sinning may be recognized as a hereditary trait, for who resembles his father and does no evil? But if the father is restored after failing, let the emulation of him be at both poles, of the negative and the positive. Adam, may Allah exalt his mention, was struck with remorse and filled with repentance over his past deeds. Any of his children who follows him as a model of sinning only, and not in repentance, is mis-taken.

Dedication to untainted goodness is from the traits of the Angels. Devotion to uncor-rected evil is in the nature of devils. But, returning to good and correctness after slipping into evil and fault is human. So, inherent in man's nature is a duality of dis-position, two traits joining in him.

Every human being verifies his relationship with the Angel, Adam or the Devil. By keeping to the definition of man; the repentant proves he is related to Adam, may Allah exalt his mention, and the persisting in iniquity proves his relationship to the Devil. Confirmation of relationship to the Angels, however, by being exclusively dedicated to the good, is beyond the realm of possibility; for evil is firmly kneaded with good in man's nature, and it can only be refined by one of the two fires: the fire of repentance, or the fire of Hell. And it is up to you now to choose the easier fire, and to be prompt in embarking on the lesser discomfort before the choice is with-drawn to give way to the inevitability of either Paradise or Hell.

Since repentance holds such a place within the faith, it must be given the importance it deserves by explaining its true nature, requisites, motivation, manifestation, bene-fit, the difficulties barring it and the ways that facilitate it.

The nature of repentance

Repentance is a concept consisting of three successive and joined elements: knowledge, remorse and action. Knowledge is first, awareness second and action third. The first necessitates the second, and the second postulates the third.

As for knowledge, it is the realization of the magnitude of the sin's harm and its be-ing a barrier between man and his Lord. If one realizes this with certainty, this reali-zation will stir heartache as a result of the Beloved eluding him—because the heart is pained when it perceives the withdrawal of the Beloved. If the withdrawal occurred through one's own action, he/she is regretful of that alienating behavior. Such grief of the heart over behavior alienating the Beloved is called Regret.

When this anguish becomes overpowering, another inner state is induced, termed vo-lition and aspiration towards new behavior connected with the present, the past, and the future. Its connection with the present consists of the repudiation of the sin with which he was entwined. For the future, it involves the determination to abandon for-ever the sin which causes alienation from the Beloved. With regard to the past, it en-tails correction of what was omitted by doing good and performing the omitted act—if it is liable to such restoration.

Thus, knowledge is prerequisite and is the starting point of these blessings. By this knowledge I mean faith and certitude. To have faith is to accept as true that sins are a deadly poison. Certitude consists of the assurance of the acceptance of this truth, the removal of all doubt about it and finally its mastery over the heart so that whenever the illumination of this faith shines upon the heart it produces the fire of regret. It will, in turn, bring forth anguish as the heart perceives, through this illumi-nation of the light of faith, that it has become veiled from its Beloved. As one who was in darkness and on the verge of ruin, and, with the dispersal of clouds and the rending of a veil, the illumination of the sun shone and radiated upon him, and he saw his Beloved. Then the flames of love burn in his heart and these flames flare up in his will to rise to correct his ways.

Knowledge, regret, and the intent connected with abandonment of sin in the present and future, and correction of the sin perpetrated in the past are three successive con-cepts within this process. The term repentance refers to this totality. Frequently, the term repentance is used for the concept of regret alone, as if making knowledge a precondition, and abandonment a result and later consequence. It is in this sense that the Prophet, sallAllahu alayhi wa sallam, said as reported by Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud, may Allah be pleased with him: "Regret is repentance." [Ahmad and Ibn Majah]

The Obligatoriness and Excellence of Repentance

Proofs of the obligatoriness or wujoub of repentance abound in the Quran and the Sunnah. Allah Says (what means): "And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed,"[Quran; 24:31] And (what means): "And whoever repents and does good has truly turned to Allah with an (acceptable) con-version.”[Quran; 25:71] And (what means): "O you who have believed! Repent to Allah with sincere repentance: In the hope that your Lord will remove from you your ills and admit you to Gardens beneath which rivers flow." [Quran; 66:8] The word 'sincere' in the verse means genuine, faithful and free of blemish. Further, Allah denotes the excellence of repentance by saying (what means): "Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves." [Quran; 2:222]

The Prophet, sallAllahu alayhi wa sallam, said: "He who repents of sin is like one who has never sinned." [Ibn Majah and At-Tabarani] He, sallAllahu alayhi wa sal-lam, also said: "Allah is happier with the repentance of His faithful servant than a man traveling through a desert. He has with him his camel with his food and water. At some point of his journey he halts and goes to sleep. He wakes up and his camel is gone. He starts looking for his camel but the heat and thirst are severe. So he says: "I will go back to my place." He goes back and falls asleep and then lifts his head and his camel is with him with his provisions intact. Allah's joy at the repentance of the faithful servant is more intense than that of the man on account of his camel." [Mus-lim] Some versions of this Hadeeth have it that in his great joy and desire to thank Allah, the man exclaimed addressing Allah: "O Allah! I am your master and You are my servant." And in a Hadeeth narrated by Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, the Prophet, sallAllahu alayhi wa sallam, said: "Allah Says 'O son of Adam! As long as you invoke Me and plead to Me, I will forgive you whatever you have committed, and I will not make much of it. O son of Adam! If your evil deeds reach the borders of the sky, and then you ask Me for forgiveness, I will forgive you. O son of Adam! If you bring forth the earth full of errors, then you meet Me while you do not associate any-thing (or anyone) with Me, I will bring forth for you its fill of forgiveness." [At-Tirmithi]

If one understands the meaning of obligatoriness of repentance: that it is the means to eternal bliss in the Hereafter; that achieving nearness to Allah is possible only through detaching one's heart from the vanity of this life, complete responsiveness to Allah, in search of intimacy with Him through constant remembrance and love; and that those enemies of Allah that keep one away from His presence, such as turning from Allah and following the devils' enchantments, distance man from Allah; then there is no doubt that renunciation of the path leading away from Allah is obligatory in order to achieve closeness to Him.

Renunciation, however, is achieved by knowledge, regret, and determination. As long as man does not know that transgressions are the causes for the remoteness of the Beloved, he will neither regret nor grieve over his travel along the devil's path. No doubt, these three elements are necessary in reaching the Beloved.

Among the various aspects of repentance are the abandonment of iniquities in the present; resolve to abstain in the future; correction of previous shortcomings. Of the obligation of these there is no doubt. As for regret and sadness over past offenses, surely this is obligatory. It is the very spirit of repentance which includes full rectifi-cation. It is a sort of pain one feels upon realizing how much of his/her lifetime has passed away and was wasted in sinning.

Promptness is essential in fulfilling the obligation of repentance

One should hasten in performing repentance, since repentance is accepted before one faces death. The Prophet, sallAllahu alayhi wa sallam, said: "Allah, the Exalted and Ever-High, accepts the repentance from the slave as long as he did not 'Yugharghir' (when his soul reaches his throat at the time of death)." [Muslim] And Allah Says (what means): "And of no effect is the repentance of those who continue to do evil until death faces one of them and he says: 'Now I repent.'" [Quran 4:18]

Sins are to faith what toxic foods are to the body. They keep accumulating—inside the body—until the component's elements change, imperceptibly; and until the com-position deteriorates and, suddenly, the man falls ill and dies. So it is with the sin-ner. If a man afraid of ruin in this passing world must, immediately and constantly, abandon toxic substances and harmful foods, so too, and even more so must he who fears eternal perdition.

Hurry, hurry, then, to repent before the toxic sins do their work on the spirit of faith, and the matter transcends physicians and their knowledge. After which seeking shelter will not avail nor will counsel and admonition, and man may be said to be among the damned, as it says in the Quran (what means): "Indeed, We have put shackles on their necks, and they are to their chins, so they are with heads (kept) aloft. And We have put before them a barrier and behind them a barrier and covered them, so they do not see."[Quran; 36-8-9] -islamweb.net

Mortgage

Mortgaging refers to the security for a debt against an article that can cover it or its value (in case of non-fulfillment).

Mortgaging is permissible according to the Noble Quran, the Sunnah (Prophetic Tradition) and the consensus of Muslim scholars. Allah, Exalted be He, says (what means): {...And if you are on a journey and cannot find a scribe, then a security deposit [should be] taken...} [Quran 2: 283]

When the Prophet () died, his armor had been mortgaged'. Scholars unanimously agree that mortgaging is permissible on journeys and the majority of scholars maintain that mortgaging is also permissible in residence. The wisdom behind the legality of mortgaging is to keep properties and protect them against loss.

Allah, Exalted be He, commands Muslims to write down the debts as He Says (what means): {O you who have believed, when you contract a debt for a specified term, write it down...} [Quran 2: 282]

And He also Says (what means): {And if you are on a journey and cannot find a scribe, then a security deposit [should be] taken...}[Quran 2:283]

Such permissibility is considered of the mercy of Allah upon His servants as He guides them to what benefits them.

The amount, quality, and description of the collateral must be known. The debtor must be legally permitted to contract; he must possess the collateral or have permission to deal conclusively with it. Man is permitted to mortgage his own property for the debt of another. The collateral must be a property valid for selling in order to enable the creditor to make use of it in case of non-fulfillment.

It is permissible to stipulate the collateral in or after concluding the contract as Allah Says (what means): {And if you are on a journey and cannot find a scribe, then a security deposit [should be] taken...} [Quran 2: 283]

Thus, Allah, Exalted be He, has made the stipulation of the collateral a substitute for writing the contract of debt, which is written after the debt becomes in effect and obligatory to be settled by the indebted person.

The collateral is obligatory to be given by the debtor, as he owes the creditor who is not obliged to accept the collateral and is permitted to cancel the mortgaging contract as he alone has a right to claim it. It is permissible for the debtor to mortgage his share of a property owned by him and others because he is permitted to sell his share to pay back his debt.

It is permissible to mortgage the purchased article for its price, as this price is a liability on the debtor, i.e. the mortgagor, and the purchased article is possessed by him, so he can mortgage it. For example, if someone buys a house or a car on credit or in cash but the price is not paid yet, he is permitted to mortgage it so as to pay its price to the seller. However, neither the debtor nor the creditor is permitted to dispose of the collateral except after getting the permission of the other. If either of them disposes of the collateral, he causes a loss to the other. That is, if the debtor disposes of the collateral without the creditor's permission, he deprives him from securing the deal. Similarly, if the creditor disposes of the collateral (without the debtor's permission), he will be disposing of a property that does not belong to him.
Concerning making use of the collateral, it is to be according to what the two parties (the debtor and the creditor) agree on. So, if they agree on renting or concluding any other transactions with regard to the collateral, it will be permissible. However, if they do not agree (to make use of the collateral), the collateral remains suspended until it is redeemed. The debtor is to be made able to maintain and keep the collateral; for example, watering, pollinating, and treating the trees, as this is done for the benefit of the collateral.

The earnings received from the collateral whether by itself (such as an animal when it becomes fatter or is able to do some work) or through its product (such as offspring, wool and whatever is begotten from it) are considered part of the collateral that can be sold with the collateral for fulfilling the debt. The same ruling applies to the crops of a mortgaged land. Besides, if there is any damage caused to the collateral, the compensation for this damage is to be joined to the collateral, as it is a substitute for part of it.

The debtor must provide the expenditures of the collateral. This is because Sa' id Ibn-ul-Musayyab reported on the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with them) that the Prophet () said: “When someone mortgages an item, it is not to be foreclosed; any increase in its value goes to him and any loss or liability must be borne by him.” [Ash-Shafi'i and Ad-Daraqutni who grades it as having a good and authentic chain of transmitters]

This is because the collateral is the property of the debtor and it is his responsibility to provide whatever it requires for its maintenance. Also, it is the responsibility of the debtor to pay the rent of the store where the collateral is kept, the wages of guarding it, and the wages of grazing the mortgaged cattle.
If part of the collateral is damaged, the rest is legally considered collateral for the whole debt as the debt is guaranteed by the whole collateral, and as long as part of the collateral is damaged, then the rest is collateral for the whole debt.

If the debtor pays back part of the debt, no part of the collateral is to be redeemed until the debtor pays the whole debt.

When the debt is due, the debtor must pay back the whole debt to comply with the contract, whether he has given a collateral or not. Allah, Exalted be He, Says (what means): {...then let him who is entrusted discharge his trust [faithfully] and let him fear Allah, his Lord...} [Quran 2: 283]

And He also Says (what means): {...and not leave anything out of it...} [Quran 2:282]

If the debtor abstains from paying back the debt to the creditor, he is considered a procrastinator and then the judge is to oblige him to pay back the debt. However, if the debtor still refuses to pay back the debt, the judge must imprison and effect discretionary punishment on him until he pays back the debt. Then, if he does not pay back the debt, the judge is to sell the collateral and pay back the debt. The judge must behave on behalf of the debtor when the latter refuses to pay back, since such a debt is an obligation on the debtor and the collateral is a mere guarantee for the debt to be returned when due. If some money remains after paying back the debt, it must be given to the debtor as it belongs to him. Yet, if the money of the sold collateral does not cover the debt, the rest of the debt is still on the credit of the debtor and he has to return it.

If the collateral is an animal which needs expenditures and is kept by the creditor, the wise Lawgiver permits him to ride it, if it is a riding animal, and to milk it, if it is a milch animal, provided that he provides the expenditures. The Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wa sallam) says: “The mortgaged animal can be used for riding as long as it is fed, and the milk of the milch animal can be drunk according to what one spends on it. The one who rides the animal or drinks its milk should provide the expenditures.” [Al-Bukhari]

So, whoever rides the animal or drinks its milk must provide the expenditures in return for his making use of it. Any other utility gained from this animal belongs to its owner, the debtor.

Ibnul-Qayyim (may Allah be pleased with him) says: “The Hadeeth as well as the general principles and the original rules of the Islamic Law indicate that the Muslim must take care of the mortgaged animal in order to observe the orders of Allah. Moreover, the owner of such an animal has the right of ownership and the mortgagee has the right to guarantee his own property (by keeping the collateral). If the mortgagee keeps the animal and neither rides nor milks it, he misses his right to make use of it. Thus, depending on justice, analogical deduction, as well as the interests of the mortgager, mortgagee, and the mortgaged animal, the mortgagee is permitted to ride and milk the mortgaged animal in return for his providing its expenditures. When the mortgagee lawfully makes use of the mortgaged animal and provides the expenditures, this satisfies the interests of both the mortgager and mortgagee and keeps their rights.”4

Some of the scholars of Islamic Jurisprudence (may Allah have mercy on them) maintain that there are two categories of collaterals: The first needs expenditures while the second does not. The first category of collaterals is divided into two subcategories. The first is the animal that can be ridden or milked whose ruling has been explained above. The second subcategory is not to be ridden or milked such as the male or female slave. The mortgagee is not permitted to make use of this kind of collaterals except with the permission of the mortgager. So, if the owner of the slave permits the mortgagee to make use of the slave provided that the mortgagee provides the expenditures, then it is permissible, as this is considered a sort of compensation. The second category of collaterals is the kind that does not need expenditures, such as a house, belongings, and the like. The mortgagee is permitted to make use of this kind of collaterals with the permission of the mortgager except when this collateral guarantees a loan, for it is prohibited to gain any interest out of a loan as we previously explained that it is a kind of riba. -islamweb.net

How to deal with family members that treat you badly

Question

Assalamualaikum, Brother, finally. I still have a question, you said that keeping ties should be done based on the customs of your country and that if sending a weekly email while living in the same home is not a custom of the country, it is still considered cutting ties.

Where in the sunnah does it say that deeds should be done based on the customs of the country?

In my heart, I feel that it is wrong, but I tried to fix the issue a lot. I bought one of my sisters a cheap perfume that I could afford and made her a basic card with a pen and gave her a book about Islam which I got for free and a basic card that I printed for free. I am an adult, but my income is low; in addition, she does not deserve more than this.

You said that I did not mention why I hate them and cut them off the ties with them: the reason is that they are bad, meaning that they are not nice to me. They do not care about me, they are sneaky and careless. They do not really care about what I went through with cancer. When I got sick, my sister took the situation and let her hair grow long because my mom was too busy. One sister is worse than the other, and she is the younger one. She is careless; and the other is only there when you do not need money – she is a fake friend. I really do not think that I can go back to talk to them, because I hate them very much. It is not about religion although the younger one. I know that a hadith says: whoever falls into unclear matters falls into haram, but I really cannot fix the issue – I hate them, and sending a weekly email was a push for me even. The reason I ask is because I keep being attacked by jinn while sleeping, and I am afraid that Allah has cut me off, meaning that He might not be protecting me because of this issue with these sisters because I supplicated Allah a lot to protect me from attacks of the jinn, and I say all the thikr (expressions of remembrance of Allah) and read Quran, and it still happens. Please reply directly and do not refer to an old question. May Allah reward you.

Answer

Assalamualaikum

Adding to the previous answers, it seems that you are going through difficult times, and you should seek strength from Allah to overcome these difficulties. Allah created us in this life with all kinds of struggle. Allah says in the Quran (what means): {And we made some of you as trial for others – will you have patience? And ever is your Lord Seeing.} [Quran 25:20]

If your family is bad to you, just be patient and be good to them for the sake of Allah. Therefore, do not seek their pleasure; you are just obeying Allah, the Most High. It is a level of faith that a Muslim attains when submitting oneself to the orders of Allah. Your duty in Islam is to have strong ties with them regardless of whether they are nice to you or not because it is an individual responsibility and accountability before Allah on the Day of Resurrection.

There are references in the Quran and Sunnah to the customs of the people, which is called ‘urf, including the derivative term ma‘roof.

Increase your faith by making yourself busy with matters of obedience to Allah, and you will see how this life is of no value compared to the Hereafter. Therefore, anything that makes you sad in this life is not worth it, because it will go away and you have to leave it one day. But when the matter is related to the Hereafter, it is different. It is the everlasting life, towards which we have to direct our concern and energy in order to obtain (the good in) it.

Here are some words from Shaykh-ul-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah, may Allah have mercy on him, which help to face the bad manners of your family:

1- Allah is the Creator of all things, including what your family is doing to you, so do not be trapped in judging their actions, as they are nothing but a tool that is being used to test you.

2- Focus on your sins, and that is the way to have the sins forgiven, so repent a lot and ask Allah for forgiveness.

3- Remember the great reward waiting for you if you pardon and have patience.

4- When you pardon and forgive, your heart will be more sound and pure, and that will give you tranquility in this life.

5- Anyone who seeks revenge for his own benefit is never happy; rather, it increases his humiliation.

6- Life is precious, and to waste the time feeling this way is a big loss. So busy yourself with worship of Allah and doing good deeds.

7- Allah is with you as long as you are patient.

8- Your patience is a way to suppress your own ego and pride for the sake of Allah.

9- If you become extremely kind to them for the sake of Allah, maybe they will change, and if they do not change, then at least you are doing what Allah ordered you to do.

10- If you get used to treating them badly, like they are treating you, you will fall into sin.

May Allah make it easy for you. -islamweb.net

Trading through the phone before possessing the goods

Question: 

Dear Shaikh, Can a person buy goods from the seller simply over the phone and sell it immediately in the same way (over the phone), without actually possessing it ? For example, can a person buy a container of potatoes over the phone that's on its way in a ship on the sea (not in his possession) and also sell it to someone over the phone without actually possessing it ? Please advice. Jazaak Allahu Khairan. 

 

Answer:

 

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  is His slave and Messenger. 

 

It is not permissible for a person to sell something unless the seller owns it and possesses it as the Prophet  said: "Do not sell what you do not possess." [Ahmad] Moreover, Zayd Ibn Thabit may Allah be pleased with him, said: "The Prophet forbade selling goods in the place where they were bought until the tradesmen take them to their houses [unless the goods are actually possessed by them]." [Ahmad] Some scholars  differentiated between selling food and other tradable items. The goods that you mentioned in the question (potatoes) are food, and the majority of the scholars are of the view that it is not permissible to sell food before possessing it, whether or not this food is one of the types to which Riba (interest and usury) applies. Al-'Adawi  from the Maliki School of jurisprudence said: 'Whoever buys or sells food whether or not it is one of the types to which Riba applies, he is not permitted to sell it before possessing it.'

 

A question is to be asked here: What is the possession, which if fulfilled, renders the sale permissible?

 

The possession of anything depends on the nature of that thing. Al-Hajjawi  from the Hanbali School of jurisprudence said: 'Possessing [in a sale transaction] something that is irremovable, like land, trees and the like is by leaving it for the buyer by allowing him to make use of it and handing him the keys, and by removing the household items of the seller from it, according to the prevailing customs, and possessing something that is removable like a boat, an animal and the like, is by taking it after unloading the goods from the boat according to the prevailing customs, as regards clothes and similar items that could be possessed by handling it, it is enough to possess it by hand.'

 

Therefore, it is known that removing the goods from the stores of the seller or from his place to the boat if the person who receives the goods is the agent of the buyer then this is considered as possessing the goods. In this case it is permissible for the buyer to sell these goods while they are in the sea but they remain on his liability until the second buyer or his agent actually possesses them.

 

However, if the first buyer does not have an agent who receives the goods on his behalf, then it is not permissible for him to sell while they are in the sea because the buyer and seller are not in the boat and neither of them has an agent who will do the handling and possessing of goods.

 

If the possession of goods is done, whether the real possession in which hand to hand trading is conducted by the buyer or his agent, or the sale which has the ruling of possessing the goods like leaving the estate for the buyer, then in this case it is permissible to buy and sell through the phone or other means of modern communications.

 

Allah Knows best. -islamweb.net

CHAPTER 104, AL-HUMAZAH (THE BACKBITER)

Introduction

The Backbiter, named for the word humazah in the first verse, is one of the short chapters towards the end of the Quran.  Many of these chapters deal extensively with the concept of Hell.  However, although there are ten more chapters to follow, this is the last one that mentions or describes the fires of Hell.   Here Hell is described in such a way that we are able to experience its ferocious power with all our senses. 

Chapter 104 is made up of only nine short verses and was revealed in Mecca in the very early days of Islam.  At that time the new Muslims were subjected to some of the worst behavior from those disinclined to listen to the message of Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him.  God calls attention to some of their ugly characteristics and makes it clear that this sort of behavior will be severely punished in the Hereafter.  One significant lesson we learn from this chapter is that success does not lie in the accumulation of wealth rather it lies in the remembrance of God. 

Verse 1 A woeful situation

The chapter begins with God describing a truly woeful situation.  Great misery will come upon the person who ridicules or taunts others.  Using the words backbiter and slanderer together indicates those who continually and habitually slander others.  These are wicked and vain people who mock others, taunting and slandering them, with their tongues and body language.  They criticizes them, imitating their movements or the sounds of their voices and deride their looks or features.  This type of person cannot see their own flaws but delights in finding and pointing out flaws in others.  Islam has high standards of morality and emphatically forbids this sort of behavior.  Taunting openly or backbiting in a concealed way, as well as mockery and scorn, are all considered sordid and ugly, definitely not the behavior a believer would engage in under any circumstances.

Verse 2 & 3 Great wealth does not make you immortal

This describes the people who use their wealth to tyrannize others.  Hoarding their wealth will not make them immortal.  Wealth is not the standard by which people are measured.   Any good traits possessed before wealth are considered useless and a waste of time.  This type of person thinks that his wealth controls his destiny and that he is not accountable to anyone for anything.  They count their wealth again and again, looking at it, and taking pleasure in it; they are miserly and selfish.  Have they forgotten death and that a time will come when their wealth will have to be left behind? Woe indeed because their wealth will not protect them from God and the Day of Judgement.

Verses 4 & 5 Do you know what the crusher is?

Because of their wealth these people believe they are great men and women, but on the contrary, those who think they have immortality will find themselves flung into the crusher.  God asks, what will make you fully understand how bad the crusher is? The one who seeks power by ridiculing others will be slighted and flung like neglected rubbish into the great crusher.  This is a palpable image of Hell, a great crushing instrument that destroys everything that crosses it path or stands in its way.  On the Day of Judgment, the slanders and backbiters will be hurled into Hell like contemptible objects.  The crushing instrument will destroy the wealth and power that those who mock and ridicule believe will keep them safe.  Islamic scholars say that the crusher is in the lowest depths of Hell.

Verse 6 A fire kindled by God

In verse six the crushing instrument is identified.  It is, we are told, the fire of Hell.  It is in a particular place in Hell and is kindled by God Himself.  The chapter begins with a cryptic description but when God reveals the menacing crusher it suggests unimaginable horrors.  It is a fire that we are unable to imagine because there is nothing like it.  It is designed by God to punish those who eat the flesh of their brothers and sisters with backbiting and mockery.  Thus, the punishment also eats the flesh.  This is the only place in the Quran where the fire of Hell has been called the fire of God.  This not only expresses its gruesomeness but indicates the wrath and contempt God has for those who become attached to worldly wealth thinking it gives them the right to treat others badly. 

Verse 7 A fire raging over the heart

This unimaginable fire rages over the hearts of those flung unceremoniously into it.  However, it does not go into the heart because that would cause death, this fire eats the flesh, and crushes the bones.  The fire rages over the heart.  This happens over and over just as these same people counted their wealth again and again.  There is symmetry to the subject matter and the chapter relates the crime to the punishment.  By backbiting and all it involves, people metaphorically tear at the flesh of their brothers, however, the crusher in Hell literally tears at the flesh.   

Verses 8 & 9 Towering columns

The fire of God that crushes will close in on the slanderers and backbiters.  The flames will shoot up and the columns will close any slit or opening surrounding those being punished.  There will be no escape.  Just as they kept their wealth secure in safes and behind closed doors God will lock them into a punishment without any means of escape.  -islamreligion.com

Lessons from the unblemished life of Maryam

Maryam (Mary) the daughter of ‘Imraan (Amram), may Allah exalt her mention, is a bright image of chastity and purity. She guarded her chastity and the result was {…so We blew into [her garment] through Our angel} [Quran 66:12] Why did Allah The Almighty choose her from among all other women? That is because she{…believed in the words of her Lord and His scriptures and was of the devoutly obedient.} [Quran 66:12]

 

Dear Muslim sisters, please do not say, “I am not Maryam, may Allah exalt her mention, nor do I belong to the family of ‘Imraan, nor have I descended from the Messengers that I will be as chaste and pure as Maryam, may Allah exalt her mention. I am not the recipient of miracles like the supernatural miracles she witnessed.” Instead, you can say, “Why do I not take Maryam, may Allah exalt her mention, as an example?” Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {There was certainly in their stories a lesson.} [Quran 12:111]

Dear Muslim sisters, we are living in the age of science and technology that has no room for supernatural events. However, through our minds we can deduce and understand why Allah The Almighty selected Maryam, may Allah exalt her mention, to be the recipient of that supernatural and lasting miracle, to be the mother of ‘Eesaa (Jesus), the Messenger of Allah.

 

Come with me to trace back the threads of this story – the story of the chastity of Maryam, may Allah exalt her mention, the daughter of ‘Imraan:

 

 

 

·        The mother of Maryam, may Allah exalt her mention, Hannah (Anne) the wife of ‘Imraan (Amram), was pious and grateful. When Allah The Almighty blessed her with pregnancy, she thanked Him in a special way. She pledged her unborn baby to the service of the Sacred House to worship Allah The Almighty therein. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {Mention, O Muhammad], when the wife of ‘Imraan said, “My Lord, indeed I have pledged to You what is in my womb, consecrated [for Your service], so accept this from me. Indeed, You are the Hearing, the Knowing.”} [Quran 3:35]

 

This indicates that choosing a righteous wife is the prerequisite for having righteous children as manifested by the mother of Maryam, may Allah exalt her mention  who was a righteous wife and, therefore, Allah The Almighty blessed her with a righteous daughter, Maryam, may Allah exalt her mention.

·        When Hannah gave birth, she discovered that it was a female baby although she had desired it to be male to serve the House of Allah and worship Allah The Almighty therein. It was, however, the will of Allah The Almighty that it would be a female. Hannah took the baby in the cradle to the mosque in fulfillment of her promise that she had made when the baby was still a fetus in her womb. The result was: {So her Lord accepted her with good acceptance and caused her to grow in a good manner and put her in the care of Zakariyya (Zechariah). Every time Zakariyya entered upon her in the prayer chamber, he found with her provision. He said, “O Mary, from where is this [coming] to you?” She said, “It is from Allah. Indeed, Allah provides for whom He wills without account.”} [Quran 3:37]

Exalted You Are, my Lord. How merciful You Are! You Are more Merciful to the baby than her mother is to her.

Sisters, do not say, “How can I find a husband when I am wearing the Hijab(Islamic covering)? Who will propose to me if I do not apply make-up?”

No, by Allah. Be truthful and sincere to Allah The Almighty and He will provide you from where you did not imagine. Your chastity, Hijab, and modesty will definitely bring you the righteous husband you deserve. Wearing scanty clothes, applying make-up, being immodest, and imitating "liberated" Eastern or Western women does not serve your purpose.

This is not a supernatural fact. Rather, it is the experience of many girls other than Maryam, may Allah exalt her mention the daughter of ‘Imraan. Consequently, maintaining your chastity, Hijab and modesty is the reason for being blessed with marriage, attaining a state of tranquility, and acquiring real, pure, and clean enjoyment.

·        What was Maryam, may Allah exalt her mention  like when she became mature?

She kept to a corner in her chamber praying, supplicating Allah The Almighty, serving the House of Allah The Almighty, adhering to her Hijaband maintaining her modesty. Therefore, she received consecutive calls from the angels directing her to increase her devotions by kneeling and prostrating in prayer to Allah The Almighty, and telling her that Allah The Almighty had selected her above the women of the worlds. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {And [mention] when the angels said, “O Mary, indeed Allah has chosen you and purified you and chosen you above the women of the worlds. O Mary, be devoutly obedient to your Lord and prostrate and bow with those who bow [in prayer].”} [Quran 3:42-43]

Maryam, may Allah exalt her mention, was worthy of being selected by Allah The Almighty. Why? Because:

·        She was pledged to the service of the House of Allah The Almighty from the time she was a fetus, and such sincere intention from her mother was sufficient for her to be accepted.

·        She was pure, chaste, and modest.

·        She was a devout worshipper and a dweller in the mosque.

·        She was not inclined to having friends and male admirers like other women. She did not know what sins were. She only knew her chamber of prayer and the Hijab she adhered to. 

·        She is a timeless example of a woman who deserves to be selected over the women of the worlds. 

Let us identify the reasons for the elevated rank of Maryam, may Allah exalt her mention, which are neither extraordinary nor exclusive to Maryam, may Allah exalt her mention, but can be attained by all Muslim women, so that Allah The Almighty will select you from among all girls and bless you with a good husband, a beautiful residence, and true love. These reasons are: prayer, chastity, and Hijab. You do not have to search for a mosque to be like Maryam, may Allah exalt her mention, but you can do righteous deeds, which are varied and many. Allah The Almighty accepts from the sincere person even an atom’s weight of deeds, and our chief aim is chastity.

Here is a scene of chastity embodied in the words of the Quran. Although the scene is very old, the words of the Quran make it come alive as if it were taking place right before our eyes:

While Maryam, may Allah exalt her mention, is in her private apartment, the Angel enters upon her in the form of a well-proportioned man, so she feels disturbed and trembles and seeks refuge in Allah The Almighty. {She said, “Indeed, I seek refuge in the Most Merciful from you, [so leave me], if you should be fearing of Allah.”} [Quran 19:18] The Angel explains to her the task he has to undertake, and she rejects the idea that she may bear a child. {She said, “How can I have a child when no man has touched me and I have not been unchaste?”} [Quran 19:20] The Angel tells her that it is a Divine decree and no one can repel it.

It is a natural disposition in girls that they guard their chastity, and this is in no way exclusive to Maryam, the daughter of ‘Imraan, may Allah exalt her mention.

When she felt the fetus moving inside her womb, she would suffer anguish; and when she was in labor, she regretted her situation bitterly, saying {Oh, I wish I had died before this and was oblivion, forgotten.} [Quran 19:23] As chaste and pure as she was, she wished she were dead owing to the allegation of a sin that she did not commit,  although she knew that it was the will of Allah The Almighty.

Conversely, modern girls surrender their chastity without a sense of shame, some of them even boast about their "liberation" from social and religious norms, pride themselves on their impudence, and imitate Western girls in everything -- even in losing their virginity. In the eyes of some misguided Muslim girls, "liberation" becomes synonymous with having several boyfriends and with the freedom to indulge in fornication. Thus, chastity and modesty are removed and replaced with shamelessness and guarding one's chastity becomes a form of "backwardness". Contrast this with Maryam, may Allah exalt her mention, who wished for death to overtake her for something she did not commit other than complying with the will of her Lord, motivated by her sense of purity and chastity.

The characteristics of chastity and purity are not exclusive to Maryam, the daughter of ‘Imraan, may Allah exalt her mention. Chastity is the most precious asset of a Muslim woman, and honor is the most valuable thing owned by her. Women who preserve their chastity are dignified, proud, tranquil, and self-confident. In addition, Allah The Almighty will bless them with righteous husbands and give them the best reward for their good deeds. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {Is the reward for good [anything] but good?} [Quran 55:60]

On the contrary, girls who lose their chastity have no sense of stability or a tranquil life. They are neither self-confident nor do they have self-respect. Rather, they are distracted, lost, and displeased with life. They deserve what Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {And whoever turns away from My remembrance -- indeed, he will have a depressed life.}[Quran 20:124] -islamweb.net