Islam

Islam

Friday, 10 October 2025

Take a Break For a Change of Scene

 


As a child growing up in the eighties, I never really enjoyed traveling. I preferred to stay at home and play with my toys or read books for leisure instead. Traveling often made me physically sick due to motion sensitivity, and I also got nervous at the thought of changing dwellings and being around strange new people.

Nevertheless, after school resumed past the annual summer vacations every year, I would wistfully listen to some of my school mates describe their vacations in exotic-sounding foreign destinations that they had visited. I had reached the age of 8-9 without ever having been on a plane.

All that has changed now. Unlike most young people, who want to fully experience life’s adventures before settling down, I had always wanted to get married and start a family first, while young, and then travel the world (with them). I am fortunate that my plans matched those that Allah had for me.

Nevertheless, when my two older children were babies, I wouldn’t dare travel anywhere with them. Just thinking about it stressed me out, but I did know that that phase wouldn’t last forever. I knew that one day, they’d be out of diapers and off my lap. And I dreamt of going off on a plane (with them) once that day arrived.

And our first destination together, insha’Allah, would be the house of Allah!

A Burdensome Necessity or Welcome Break? 

Traveling has changed a lot since my childhood, in a good way. Now, we have so many tools that can help us make the most of any trip. Be it a short or long getaway, for business or pleasure, on a budget or luxurious – now travelers can easily avail many resources that can help them make the most of their journey.

More importantly, using these tools and resources to plan your trip beforehand can save you a lot of trouble and hassle that can add to the stress and fatigue incurred during traveling. Some great examples of these tools are:

Google Maps, to help you navigate your location and movement (on your smartphone); reliable travel websites that allow you to explore the tourist-to-do’s of any destination in advance; plastic money that allows you to shop and book via debit card (internationally); and app-based taxi services that allow you to summon an affordable ride within minutes (in other countries).

However, let’s be real. When traveling is done as an enforced obligation, it is usually not enjoyable. Many husbands and wives usually say goodbye to leisure traveling almost as soon as their honeymoon is over. It is then back to school, the office job, the domestic routine, having babies, and fulfilling other obligations. Between studies, careers, and raising a family, they have little spare time to enjoy themselves as a family, let alone get any exclusive “me time”.

Date nights have to be meticulously scheduled between work and school commitments. As for traveling, it is merely squeezed in as an unwanted but necessary part of making annual trips “back home”, which usually involve staying at parents’ or in-laws’ homes. Mostly, these trips include a chaotic family wedding or two, which are obligatory to attend, like it or not.

Where to Stay?

Nowadays, hotels and airbnb have made staying anywhere so easy. You can plan ahead by exploring your options online, according to your budget, and even book a property in advance using a debit card.

When I was growing up, however, this was not the case. Only expensive hotels and guest houses existed, and the food they offered was not good. Also, cultural dictates prevented a traveler from staying at any dwelling besides a relative’s or friend’s home whenever they visited a foreign city or country. This was because staying at a hotel in a city where a relative or acquaintance lived was not just too expensive, but would also be perceived as a rude affront and snub to the latter, spoiling the relationship.

However, since the traveling bug bit me a few years ago, I realized that there is no basis in Islamic Shari’ah for this obligation viz. being obligated to stay at a relative’s home when visiting a city. This is all the more true if the host family does not respect or agree with your religious beliefs and privacy needs, such as observing prayers, maintaining hijab from non-mahram, and sticking to dietary laws (viz. eating only halal food).

Furthermore, staying at someone’s house as a non-paying guest totally kills your independence as a traveler. You are bound to abide by your host family’s schedule and resources, preventing you from exploring the city as and how you wish.

How can you truly enjoy traveling like this?

Therefore, I would like to suggest that if a family truly wants to enjoy a trip, they should shed their self-obligated cultural burdens first, and then plan a trip according to their budget. Keep an open mind and try to make the journey as purposeful and light as possible. You can travel somewhere even for two days, if you are low on money and time. All it needs is a little “thinking outside the box”!

The Best Destination

Going for umrah is one of the best ways of combining the joys of traveling with spirituality and devout worship. It is perhaps the only journey that a Muslim undertakes, besides Hajj of course, in which each and every step they take, every cent of money they spend, and every ounce of fatigue that they endure, is a means of earning ongoing rewards.

One returns spiritually rejuvenated and totally de-stressed as a result of the break they get from their regular worldly pursuits, routine, and occupation.

The same can be said for other leisurely travels: stop perceiving them as an expense and a risk-ridden endeavor. Go for short hops to nearby, unexplored places, even if for just a weekend. Enjoy food from local vendors. Stay at a remote village or farmhouse, go on morning hikes, grab a bike, climb trees, pick fruits off trees, ride an animal, light a bonfire, row a boat, or trek up a hill.

Just take off and have some fun!

- aboutislam.net

About Sadaf Farooqi
Sadaf Farooqi is an author, blogger and freelance writer based in Karachi, Pakistan. To date, Sadaf has authored over 300 original articles, most of which can be accessed on her blog, "Sadaf's Space" (sadaffarooqi.wordpress.com). She has recently started self-publishing her past articles as non-fiction Islamic books, which are available on Amazon and Kindle (www.amazon.com/author/sadaffarooqi)

Thursday, 9 October 2025

Health Benefits of Muslim “Earthing” Prostration

  • Prostration is part of Muslim daily prayers and has positive effects on brain and heart function.
  • It cools the brain, provides tranquility, and has a grounding effect.

Prostration is the placement of the body in a reverentially or submissively prone position as a gesture.

Typically, prostration is distinguished from the lesser acts of bowing or kneeling by involving a part of the body above the knee touching the ground, especially the hands.

Major world religions employ prostration as an act of submissiveness or worship to a supreme being or other worshiped entities (i.e. God or the gods), as in the sajdah of the Islamic prayer, salat, or to show reverence to persons or other elements of the religion.

In various cultures and traditions, prostrations are similarly used to show respect to rulers, civil authorities and elders or superiors. The Chinese kowtow or Ancient Persian proskynesis are examples.

Prostrations in Islam

In Islam, prostrations are used to praise, glorify and humble oneself in front of Allah. They are a vital part of the five obligatory prayers performed daily; this is deemed obligatory for every Muslim whether the prayers are being performed individually or in congregation.

Additionally, the 32nd surah of the Qur’an is titled As-Sajdah. The Arabic word sujud (prostration) appears about 90 times in the Qur’an. Many Muslim scholars claim that this fact is another example of its significance in Islam. - aboutislam.net

Wednesday, 8 October 2025

Yearning for the Hereafter: Why Do We Have to Pretend to Love Dunya?

 


As a believing person, many thoughts can cross your mind. For instance, you may ask yourself, am I indulging too much in the dunya?  Am I fulfilling my duties towards my Lord? So on and so forth. It is great to be concerned about your actions and hold yourself accountable. As Umar may Allah be pleased with him said,

“hold yourself accountable before you are held accountable and weigh your deeds before they are weighed for you.”

Benefit of The Dunya

Allah has created this dunya for your welfare. He has blessed you with the night and the day, water, and all sorts of provision. From time to time dunya reminds us to be grateful towards Allah. Whether it be in the form of a test or in the form of a blessing, each and every day you witness, is a gift from Allah.

It is Allah Who has made for you the earth as a resting place, and the sky as a canopy, and has given you shape – and made your shapes beautiful -, and has provided for you Sustenance…” (Quran 40:64)

If you were to reject or turn away from the bounties of Allah, this will indeed be a grave sin. You should make use of everything that Allah has provided you with, and enjoy it in the best and halal manner.

Even the Prophets of Allah had reveled in the blessings they were given. Such as Prophet Dawud, and after him Prophet Sulayman. Allah says in the Quran (38:19)

“And We made his kingdom strong, and We gave him wisdom and sound judgement.”  

Even though they were Kings who had unimaginable wealth and power. However, their possessions only increased them in their belief and obedience to Allah. They were pious and always held themselves accountable. That is how the believer is expected to behave. He should enjoy the blessings of Allah, the way Allah wants him to, without trespassing anyone’s rights, and if he committed an evil than he does good to eradicate it from his accounts.

The Attitude of a Believer

The attitude of a believer is described in this thorough hadith. It has been transmitted by Ibn ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Prophet Muhammad, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said:

“The prayer which Allah loves most is the prayer of Dawud. The fast which Allah loves most is that of Dawud. He used to sleep for half of the night, stand up in prayer for a third and sleep for a sixth. He would fast every other day. He wore wool and slept on hair. He ate barley bread with salt and ashes. He mixed his drink with tears. He was never seen to laugh after his error nor to look directly at the sky because of his shyness before his Lord and he continued to weep for the rest of his life. It is said that he wept until plants sprang up from his tears and until tears formed ridges in his cheeks. It is said that he went out in disguise to learn what people thought of him, and hearing himself praised only made him more humble.” (Al-Bukhari, Muslim, Ibn Hanbal, Abu Da’wud, An-Nasa’i, and Ibn Majah. From Ash-Shifa’ of Qadhi ‘Iyad 1:2:24)

The Best Dua

Believers are advised to stay in this dunya as a traveler according to the hadeeth, Ibn Umar reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said,

“Be in this world as if you were a stranger or a traveler along a path.”

The fact remains that one should not get too attached to the dunya as it will make one forget his purpose in life and also distract him from fulfilling his duties. Now, pause for a second and analyze that the Hadith mentions a traveler. Why a traveler? When someone is traveling, they do stop to enjoy the beauty around them isn’t it? They also take pictures for a keepsake, and may even take along a memento from the place they are in. However, they do not hinder from moving on as they know where their final destination lies. You have to draw your own line where it comes to indulgence. You have to decide it for yourself as only you can be honest with yourself.

Seeking the good in both worlds

A believer will have to travel through the stages of life with precaution. Setting up boundaries within his nafs instead of elsewhere. A believer uses the means of this world to be able to receive the best in the next world. A believer relishes in the blessings his lord has bestowed upon him in this world and also looks forward to the greatest achievement he will get later on, i.e. paradise.

Allah has not made your life difficult for you. Allah has not asked you to choose this world over the next. In fact, Allah is pleased with those who seek good in both worlds!  As Allah says in the Quran speaking about the believers,

“Our Lord, give us in this world [that which is] good and in the Hereafter [that which is] good and protect us from the punishment of the Fire.” (2:201)

Allah says such people who make this dua have their share in both worlds according to what they have earned.

And Allah knows best

- aboutislam.net

About Umm Muadh
Umm Muadh is a student at AOU university studying Islamic studies and currently resides in Texas, USA with her husband and four beautiful children!

Tuesday, 7 October 2025

How Does a Muslim Woman Cope with Practical Life?

 


As I see it, it is how to balance work and your spiritual life. I don’t think I have ever read anything specifically on this topic, so I can only give you some of my feelings on the subject.

First of all, you must keep in mind that your whole reason for being is to know and worship Allah. Everything you do should be aimed at pleasing Him.

But that does not mean that you have to lock yourself away and pray 18 hours a day. You sound like a very intelligent woman who could make some great contributions to society. If Allah has blessed you with such abilities, use them.

Studies & Career

Go for your master’s degree, and maybe even a PhD. Why not? As long as your intention is to please Allah and you take time every day to read Quran and perform your prayers regularly, why can’t you have a career? And a career in the natural sciences should lead you closer to Allah as you see the wonders and perfection of His creation every day.

I understand that you would be frustrated in a mediocre job. I would be, too. What I think I’m hearing from you is asking whether THIS job offer is the right one—this one that will involve field visits and overnight travel and interaction with men.

You don’t say where you are living, but from your message (and the spelling) I assume you’re in the United Kingdom. If you’ve grown up in any Western country, you most likely have been interacting with men all your life in school, so why should such interaction on the job be a problem for you?

If you wear hijab and keep your conversations limited to the usual daily pleasantries (“Hello, how are you today? How are the wife and kids?”) and work issues, you shouldn’t have too much trouble. And if any of your colleagues (male or female) has a habit of cracking obscene jokes, let him or her know that such jokes are not welcome in your presence. Be firm and consistent, and your colleagues will get the message and respect you for it.

Travel & Work

The overnight travel is another issue. I cannot give you a fatwa on that. Some sheikhs would say it is haram, others would say that if there is a need and you’re traveling in a safe way and staying in a safe place it might be allowed.

It seems that you are not comfortable with the overnight travel, whether for religious or other reasons. That is something that only you can answer for yourself.

At this time in your life while you’re still single, such a challenging job opportunity might be right for you. But remember that in a few years you will probably want to settle down and raise a family, insha’ Allah, and then you will most likely want to take some leave from work or limit your work hours.

It most likely wouldn’t hurt for you to take such a job now, but you might want to consider whether or not you really want to get into a career track that would be hard to leave.

Overall, you have to decide what you want in life, why you want it (to help society? to get rich? to become a famous scientist for fame’s sake?), and how you’re going to achieve your goal.

If you’re having doubts about this particular job offer, keep praying Istikharah and make a list of the pros and cons of this offer. Then decide what’s best for you. It may be that it is good for you at this time and will help you to advance your career.

There’s nothing wrong with having a career. But if something about this job (such as the travel) bothers you, ask yourself why? Are you just afraid of the unknown or the challenge? Fear can be overcome. Or do you really think it would be detrimental to your faith?

Allah’s Guidance

Ask Allah to help you decide, and if you decide that this is not the right job, ask Him to bring you something else better than it. I can understand your not wanting a mediocre job, but perhaps there is something out there that is exciting, yet not quite so challenging as this offer, something that would not involve travel.

Constantly work on developing your faith by reading Quran and religious books, and by praying salahdu`aa’, and dhikr. Develop yourself so that you will not be influenced by others but instead will be able to influence them.

Don’t be afraid to test your faith, but within limits. That is, don’t put yourself in a particular situation unless you feel strong enough to overcome its temptations.

Keep praying Istikharah, and may Allah bless you in your career.

Allah knows best.

- aboutislam.net

About AElfwine Mischler
AElfwine Mischler is an American convert to Islam. She has undergraduate degrees in physics and English, and a master's degree in linguistics and teaching English as a foreign language.

Monday, 6 October 2025

What Is the Concept of Sin in Islam?

 


The word “Islam” in Arabic represents two basic concepts: one is submission and the other is peace.

As the name of the religion, it stands for the peace we can attain in this world and the next (in heaven) by submitting to the One and Only God of the universe.

Islam teaches that all the prophets of God – including Noah, Abraham, Moses, Jesus, and Muhammad (peace be upon them all) taught basically the same religion: namely, to worship the One True God and lead a life of obedience to His commandments.

This is what Islam stands for. And for this reason, Muslims consider all the true prophets of God as prophets of Islam; and all of them preached to their people the same message.

The story of our first parents Adam and Eve narrated in the Bible is also recounted in the Quran, which was the noble Book revealed as the Last Testament of God; that is, as the perfected form of the Guidance of God, which had been progressively revealed through the earlier scriptures such as the Torah and the Gospel.

Both Christians and Muslims are united in the belief that Adam – the father of mankind – was misled by Satan to disobey God and to eat the forbidden fruit, and consequently God expelled him and his progeny from Paradise.

Muslims believe that Adam soon after the act of disobedience became aware of the seriousness of his sin and repented. He sought the forgiveness of God, and God forgave him (Quran 2:35-37).

Distinct from the narration in the Quran, the Christians hold the belief that God did not forgive Adam’s sin and for that reason all the children of Adam till the End of Times would bear the blemish of that sin.

This is what they call “Original Sin”, and this sin will not be forgiven according to them, except for those children of Adam who believe that God sent His “only-begotten son” to vicariously suffer and die on the cross as expiation for that sin.

Muslims do not accept that there is anything called original sin. They strongly reject the idea of God begetting a son for this purpose: God is one and one only; He does not beget, nor is He begotten; and there is no one like God.

Sin, from the point of view of Islam, is a conscious and willful act that violates a commandment of God or the right of a fellow being. We cannot consider a person to be a sinner if he or she acts under duress or out of ignorance, because human accountability is an important aspect of justice as envisaged in Islam

And no one can be truly held accountable for an action he has no power to avoid. Because, God does not lay more burden on a human than he or she can bear.  

Islam teaches that sin is an avoidable act that harms the perpetrator’s own soul. This means that there is no innate or inherited nature that prompts a person to disobey God.

That is to say, it is a person’s free choice whether to sin or not; and one’s disposition to sin is only as much as, if not less than, their inclination to do good.

One important teaching of Islam as taught by the Prophet is this narration:

Deeds are but by intentions and every person shall have what he intended. (Al-Bukhari and Muslim) 

This means that a person’s motive should be taken into consideration when we judge his or her actions. And we know that motive is something that is in the mind of the people and even if they speak about why they have acted in a particular way, we have no means of verifying their claim.

For instance, consider the case of a nurse who gave a patient a dose of the wrong medicine which proved fatal. The nurse may maintain that she did not know it was the wrong medicine; rather she was acting in good faith; but by mistake it happened to be the wrong medicine.

If her claim is accepted, she cannot be held guilty of poisoning the patient to death. But suppose her claim is untrue. How can we know whether she is telling the truth or lying?

We may be able to see people who openly commit easily recognizable offences; but we should be on our guard before we judge a person on the basis of external evidence alone.

That is to say, in a good number of cases we are likely to go wrong in our judgment. Only God can judge us and our actions correctly, without favor or prejudice.

Among the obvious sins we can count the following as examples: Associating God’s creatures with God in worship, murder, adultery, robbery, bearing false witness, committing oppression, cheating, arrogant showing off, consuming usury, appropriating undeserving property especially that of orphans, plotting evil and harming people, etc.

Any person who indulges in one or more of such actions is obviously a sinner. But we should bear in mind that it is difficult for us humans to correctly evaluate a person’s actions and arrive at a proper judgment.

Because, we as humans, have our own limitations in properly assessing the actions of an outsider before arriving at a judgment; as we are unable to weigh the circumstances of a person’s deed or his mental condition.

Therefore, only God Almighty can be the Judge of our beliefs and actions; and hence He is described in the Quran as “the Owner of the Day of Judgment.”

In Islam, all sins can be forgiven except associating others with God if not given up. Whatever sins a Muslim commits, will be pardoned if he offers sincere repentance and does a lot of good deeds.

The good deeds wipe out the bad ones. The door of repentance is always open and Allah will accept the repentance until the Muslim dies.

- aboutislam.net

About Professor Shahul Hameed
Professor Shahul Hameed is an Islamic consultant. He also held the position of the President of the Kerala Islamic Mission, Calicut, India. He is the author of three books on Islam published in the Malayalam language. His books are on comparative religion, the status of women, and science and human values.

Sunday, 5 October 2025

How to Control Our Love for This Dunya?

 


The heat was sweltering. But it was nothing in comparison to the emotions bubbling up inside of me. I parked my car and made sure the doors were locked, knowing it would be well over 130 degree upon my return.

I took a few steps on the melting asphalt toward the store and realized there was nothing they could sell me to fix what I was feeling.

Then I took a few more steps into the cool air conditioning of a place which offered no answers, no solace. I had not come to purchase milk, eggs, or even entertainment. And I didn’t know what I have come to buy. I drove to this place of consumerism to buy something that didn’t exist with money I didn’t have.

At the time I was 18, and it was the first time in my life that I realized the things we need the most can’t be found in the dunya.

I realized that C.S. Lewis had struck upon some truth when he wrote:

“The fact that our heart yearns for something Earth can’t supply is proof that Heaven must be our home”.

What is Dunya?

The word dunya encompasses many things but generally means the temporal, earthly world in contrast to the eternal spiritual realm of the hereafter. Literally, the word dunya means ‘closer,’ or ‘lower.’”

More colloquially speaking, the dunya is any earthly concern or possession. We human beings admittedly love the dunya.

And there is no problem in loving the dunya. It is after all the means to sustain our lives and continue our worship. It is after all a blessing for us and a means for us to be thankful to our Creator.

When Love of the Dunya Goes too Far

The problem comes in when we make the dunya become the goal and not the means to the ultimate goal. The dunya is a place where we are for a time, and all that is in the dunya should be used for or avoided with the ultimate goal of pleasing Allah in mind.

Our goal is not to be as rich, or as powerful, or as comfortable as we possibly can in this life. This life is just a means to the hereafter where what we do in the dunya will determine our position with Allah. And Allah knows how we forget the dunya’s place in our journey to the hereafter. He says in the Quran:

But you prefer the worldly life, while the Hereafter is better and more enduring. (87:16-7)

When we start chasing the dunya for dunya’s sake instead of using it as a means to our real goal (pleasing Allah) that is when our priorities are mixed up. And we start to suffer from a serious spiritual disease.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) once stood before the companions and said:

“It is not poverty that I fear for you, but what I fear for you is that the world (the dunya) will be presented for you just as it was presented for those before you, then you will compete for it, and it will destroy you, just as it destroyed them.” (Ibn Majah)

As a physical disease destroys the body, a spiritual disease destroys the soul. When we put the love of the dunya before the love of Allah, diseases like greed, arrogance, ingratitude, jealousy, vanity all start to take over our heart and destroy our lives.

Guiding Children

Children have a natural love of Allah. And it is easy to nurture this love in them.

But as soon as they are old enough to process visual stimulus and voice their wants, they are bombarded with advertisements geared at them, convincing them that they need the latest and greatest toy, article of clothing, or snack on the market. And this is where the battle ground for the heart begins.

The good news is that, as parents, you can do a lot to make sure the love of Allah wins over the love of dunya in the hearts and minds of your children.

Use their obsession with getting that bright and shiny new toy as a teachable moment. Tell them about children who could only dream about having all that they have.

Combating too Much Love of Dunya as Adults

As adults, we still fall for the same traps we did as children. The commercials may be more sophisticated and our friends may have bigger toys to tempt us to compete, but it is all the same.

Similarly, the cure for this disease of too much love of the dunya is the same.

When we want the latest and greatest “toy” and become obsessed with it and feel like we cannot live without it, we can look to those who have less than us. Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said:

Look at those who stand at a lower (financial) level than you but don’t look at those who stand at a higher level than you, for this would make the favors (conferred upon you by Allah) insignificant (in your eyes). (Muslim)

When we feel the urge to compete with others in material wealth or possessions – things that will not help you even a little in the hereafter – replace that competition with a competition in good deeds and gaining religious knowledge – things that will build mansions and gardens for us in the hereafter.

When the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was asked whether the verse in the Quran:

And those who give whatever they (have to) give while their hearts are trembling. (23:60) referred to people who committed sins, he replied:

No. They are those who fast, pray and give charity while fearing that (these deeds) may not be accepted (by God). They are those who compete with one another in good deeds. (Ibn Majah)

The key is to understand that Allah does not deny our impulses. He encourages us to redirect them to something better.

Remind yourself that everything you do in this dunya can be done for the love of Allah, if you just have the right intentions.

And say:

Indeed, my prayer, my service of sacrifice, my living and my dying are for Allah, Lord of the worlds.’ (6:162)

- aboutislam.net

About Theresa Corbin
Theresa Corbin is the author of The Islamic, Adult Coloring Book and co-author of The New Muslim’s Field Guide. Corbin is a French-creole American and Muslimah who converted in 2001. She holds a BA in English Lit and is a writer, editor, and graphic artist who focuses on themes of conversion to Islam, Islamophobia, women's issues, and bridging gaps between peoples of different faiths and cultures. She is a regular contributor for AboutIslam.net and Al Jumuah magazine. Her work has also been featured on CNN and Washington Post, among other publications. Visit her blog, islamwich, where she discusses the intersection of culture and religion.

Saturday, 4 October 2025

Marital Life: Expectations vs. Reality

 


Most of us girls have dreamt of the big day; we have all imagined ourselves as brides, dressed in a fluffy white dress, surrounded by flowers, and having our cheeks burning red from the hundreds of eyes following our steps.

YES! It’s the wedding day. Watching Disney movies when we were younger, most of us happily sobbed at how the prince and princess overcame all the hardships and evils, to be with one another on the lifelong journey of marriage.

But, what happened next? Did we watch how Cinderella was able to manage her arguments with the prince on how to set the sofa in front of the TV? Or how Belle would be able to balance between her work and her home if she decided to pursue a career? What about Snow White’s cooking skills, and if her prince charming enjoyed her food?

Unfortunately, the princess movies didn’t prepare us for what came after the white dress.

Being married for 3 months now, I obviously can’t say I am an expert on the subject, but I can confidently say I have learnt some of the perks and hardships of marriage that I’d like to share with you.

Art of Cooking

Yes, I could boil an egg, and make a cup of tea, and all the “essential” stuff that we thought could easily get us through our roles as a chef in our new home. But, the ugly truth is: those “essentials” are definitely not enough.

Don’t wait until you’re standing in front of the stove in your new home, wondering what cooked meat should look like. Or, if maybe this gooey thing, supposed to be rice, maybe needed much less water to cook properly.

I truly advice you to kickstart your cooking lessons BEFORE you get married. Stand with your mother, sister, or anyone you enjoy their cooking and take notes. Yes, as in get yourself to a stationery store and buy a little notebook, mark it “cooking recipes” and make it your best friend.

Have it with you every time you are invited over to dinner at someone’s house, and if you really like one of the dishes, don’t be embarrassed to ask for the recipe. It will really come in handy when you’re married, more than you know!

“But what if I feel he doesn’t like my cooking?”

Then ASK him! Some husbands don’t wait for you to ask and blurt out their opinion, which could be a negative one.

But don’t take it too personally and use it as constructive criticism, instead of crying about in the middle of the night.

Don’t be hard on yourself, you are still learning, and it will take a while until you comprehend all his preferences. So ask him what he thought of today’s dinner, and what he would have liked better. You would be surprised, but he could have some good recommendations.

“Ahh, I just cut my finger!”

That’s OK. It happens, alongside some burns and possible bruises. On my first day of cooking, I ended up with two cuts on each of my thumbs, and I had my husband finish off the cooking while I guided him verbally.

But, since then, I have been safe and sound, for most of the time, with great cooking results, also most of time. So don’t give up on yourself or undermine your abilities if you end up with some minor wounds in the beginning.

Home vs. Career

I am not here to discuss your choice of deciding to work or not, because that is a judgment you make on your own in consultation with your husband.

However, some of us might already have careers, or decide to start working after getting married. It’s a great thing for you to add value to the society and pursue your dreams, but don’t forget that Allah (swt) has set obligations for you as a wife regarding caring for your husband and home.

Just as Allah (swt) has set obligations for your husband in return, with regards to providing food, shelter, and clothing for you. So it’s important to always keep in mind that neither of you should fall behind in the roles that Allah (swt) has set for each of you.

In the beginning of marriage, it can be quite difficult if you decide to work a nine-hour full time job, and at the same time attend to the house needs.

If you weren’t used to laundry, cooking and cleaning, you will realize it can get quite tiresome. But by time, or so the tale goes, it gets easier as these tasks become habitual.

However, until that happens, my advice is: if you decide to work in the first couple of months, or years of marriage, try to find a job with suitable working hours to have a balanced life between your duties as wife and your career life.

You Have a New Roommate

It seems strange that after a lifetime with your family, you are now going to live with a new person.

It’s exciting, and a bit scary, but most importantly it’s different. Your partner has also lived a certain lifestyle for his share in life, and you’re about to witness it full time. Some of things might seem odd, frustrating, or annoying, but you have to understand that it’s the same thing for him.

You might have different sleeping habits, or preferences on how you like the room to be organized, or how early you like to have your breakfast. But, should that mean you panicking and declaring an independent room in the house? No. Breathe, talk and compromise.

Jabir reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said about Iblees:

“The nearest to him are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done such-and-such. Iblees says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave so-and-so until I caused discord between him and his wife. Iblees says: You have done well.” (Muslim 2813)

So, don’t let the shaytaan disrupt your relationship with your husband about trivial matters. It is in those situations that the shaytaan tries to intrude and cause fights about things that could have been solved by logical and calm discussions.

A Happy Marriage

You will not be able to change all of your husband’s old manners, or always find a common ground, but the situation is vice versa for him. So, you should both learn to embrace each other habits, as long as one of you isn’t causing harm to the other..

I think one of the most important keys to a healthy and happy marriage is to be considerate of each other’s feeling.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) instructed us to love for others what one would love for himself. And so should be the case when treating your husband. Try not to nag, and understand that when he is tired, or frustrated, it’s not the right time to tell him you accidentally broke the new microwave, and need a new one.

Expect that he will not always be in a good mood. I know that’s not what we see on movies and read in novels, so I am sorry to burst your bubble, but marriage isn’t always going to be rainbows and butterflies. You have to learn to love your spouse unconditionally in the sake of Allah, and help each other through this duniah to reach Jannah in the hereafter.

- aboutislam.net

About Sarah N. Saad
Sarah N. Saad from Egypt is a Communication and Media Arts senior at the American University in Cairo (AUC). She is currently the vice president of Help Club, a leading community service club at AUC. She is interested in media research and advertising. She was born and raised in Sweden but is now residing in Egypt.