You have recently been struggling with modest clothing. You are exploring different ways of dressing modestly—wearing jilbabs, modest skirts, and even niqab—but you still feel that your body itself is immodest because your backside is larger and always seems noticeable.
You know this is not the Islamic view of a woman’s body, yet you still feel that you attract attention, which you don’t want. You feel uncomfortable, as if your figure itself causes immodesty, and you are tired of fighting with your body every day.
Let me begin by saying that I truly understand your struggle. What I’m sharing here is a counseling perspective, not a scholarly one. However, we do know from authentic hadiths and basic Islamic rulings what is required for a woman’s public dress.
Guidelines of Modesty
For women, clothing should:
- Not be tight or reveal the shape of the body
- Not be transparent
- Not resemble men’s clothing
- Not be overly decorative or designed to attract attention
- Cover everything except the face, hands, and feet
Also, keep in mind that there are cultural differences in modesty. Even within the clear Islamic boundaries, expressions of modest dress can vary by region and culture.
Since you live in the West, it’s natural that your choices may be influenced by your surroundings, and that’s okay. Islam does not require us to dress in ways that are culturally inappropriate, as long as we stay within the guidelines.
So, these are the basic guidelines. Beyond that, women have a great deal of freedom in how they dress. When you combine this with sincere intention—seeking Allah’s pleasure and maintaining modesty—you have fulfilled your responsibility.
What You Won’t Control
Once you’ve followed these guidelines, what others notice, how they react, or whether they find it attractive is not your concern. You cannot control how others perceive you, nor are you responsible for their gaze or their thoughts. That is their test, not yours.
Now, remember that Allah created you exactly as you are—with your shape, your body, and your features. If your figure or curves were in any way a hindrance to fulfilling your religious duties, that would be unjust—and Allah is never unjust.
It’s understandable that social media, cultural pressures, or people’s comments might make you more self-conscious about your body. But this is not the expectation of Allah (subḥānahu wa taʿālā). This comes from society, not from our religion.
Accept Yourself
Try to accept yourself as you are, knowing that Allah created you for a reason, with beauty and dignity. Feeling ashamed of your natural form is, in a way, questioning His wisdom, and we know that He is All-Wise.
Instead of seeing your body as something you must “fight,” try to view it as part of the trust (amānah) Allah has given you. Your body serves you in your worship, your work, your relationships — it’s not an enemy to suppress, but a companion to care for. Change the energy from frustration to gratitude, for ex. by reminding yourself: “This body helps me make sujood to Allah.”
So, focus on your character, your conduct, and your sincerity. The rest—how people see you or what they say—is their responsibility. Those who judge your modesty are being tested themselves.
Being comfortable with yourself means accepting how Allah created you. Yes, people may notice your shape or make comments, but that is their issue, not yours.
May Allah make grant you peace and confidence in who you are.
- aboutilam.net
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